When Chanyeol gets kidnapped, he doesn’t get kidnapped silently.

“LET ME GOOOO!” he screams as someone hauls him into a car. “LEMME G—”

“Holy , this guy’s loud,” says a voice as he gets shoved inside. Chanyeol falls on the back seat, face pressed against the leather as the one who hauled him in climbs on his back.

“Shut up,” the kidnapper hisses.

“BUT—”

“I’m going to knock you out now,” the person says and then something is shoved at Chanyeol’s face. A tissue soaked in some chemical. He thinks that maybe this is what chloroform smells like.

And then he passes out.

___

“What do we do now?”

Chanyeol hears voices as he slowly comes around. His head is throbbing and he is sure that there is going to be a bruise on his ribs because its hurts like . He opens his eyes but its all dark. Then he realizes that he is blindfolded.

“I dunno. Wait for Wu Fan?”

He is sure that this voice here, it was the one who told him to shut up earlier. And then he remembers what happened. , he got kidnapped. Trying to hold on to his senses he tries to figure out where he is. He is upright, sitting on a chair. He can’t move his torso but his legs are free. He could feel the metal of handcuffs tugging against his wrists as he shifts in the chair.

Okayyy so he is trapped and bound. He takes in a deep breath.

“Oh, he’s awake.”

Chanyeol opens his mouth.

“Tell Wu Fan to get here quickly.”

“No, you tell him.” Sounds of shuffling and hitting flesh.

Chanyeol doesn’t care. He opens his mouth wider. Takes in another breath.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—”

“And there he goes. I told you that he is a screamer.”

“—HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—”

“Do you think we have to knock him out again?”

“Dunno. Might be better. He’s killing my eardrums.”

“—HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH—” Someone shoves something to his nose and it’s the same smell from earlier. His screams get cut off as he sinks into unconsciousness.

When he comes back to consciousness again, he finds that he is gagged. The screams get stuck in his throat halfway.

“There,” says a satisfied voice. “Told you that will work.”

“I can’t believe it worked.”

“I keep telling you to believe in me Zitao.”

“But Luhan you are dumb.”

Sound of flesh hitting flesh. Chanyeol starts to panic when he finds that he is unable to breathe.

“UMBARGHF,” he says, flailing his arms and legs in an attempt to catch attention.

“Oh. He’s doing something.”

“That’s obvious.”

A door opens.

“Did you get him?” says a new voice and Chanyeol renews his attempts to just well…flail.

“Yup. Look he’s awake again.”

Footsteps come closer and Chanyeol senses a presence standing in front of him.

“What’s wrong with him?” the new voice said uncertainly. Chanyeol thrashes even more.

“UMBARGARHH,” he shrieks, feeling lightheaded.

“Wait he’s trying to say something. Lemme just remove—”

“Noo!”

“—this cloth—” And deft fingers pull off the gag. Chanyeol takes in a deep gulp of air before launching into his shout.

“JESUS I COULDN’T BREATHE. OH MY GOD WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE—”

“Oh. He speaks actual words now,” one of the earlier two comments and Chanyeol whips around in their general direction.

“Remove this blindfold or I swear to god—”

The same set of fingers tugs at the cloth around Chanyeol’s eyes and he is grateful for this godsend person.

He blinks at the light.

“Uh,” he says when he is encountered with a pair of brown eyes and lots of eyebrows.

“Hi,” the mouth attached to the eyebrows says. “I’m Kris.”

“But we call him Wu Fan,” adds someone from behind him. Eyebrows become downright angry as the man frowns.

“Luhan can you not—”

A dark head peaks under the eyebrow man’s arm and Chanyeol sees a guy with panda eyes and curly lips. He recognizes him.

“You!” he gasps out, his hands jerking in an attempt to point.

“Ooh he remembers,” the panda guy says. Another head pops from the other side and Chanyeol doesn’t know this one.

“Who are you?” he inquires.

“The one who’ll take your ity.”

Chanyeol gasps.

Tao stares at the other. “What.” Kris whacks the back of the shorter’s head.

“Luhan,” the guy says not even affected by the hit and sticks his hand out. After realizing that Chanyeol is unable to shake hands due to being tied up, he gratifies himself by touching his cheek. Chanyeol is unable to move away.

“But that isn’t why we brought him here,” Tao complains. Kris groans.

“Can we just get to the point here?” he asks and shoves the other two back.

“Why am I here?” Chanyeol questions rocking his chair back and forth because he’s bored.

“You refused to give me a wushu stick,” the one named Tao says.

“Excuse me?”

“You,” Tao repeats, “Refused to give me a wushu stick.”

“Uhm.” Chanyeol casts his mind back to the incident yesterday. “But you didn’t have any money, that’s why.”

Working at a martial arts store is his part time job and last night some guy had come in asking for a wushu stick because apparently his boss had broken his old one. Chanyeol would have gladly given one away except said man didn’t have any money.

“Then can I steal it?” the man had asked.

“No.”

Chanyeol had then thrown the guy out of this store because he was hungry and a hungry Chanyeol was dangerous when it comes to dealing with nonsense.

“I bet you didn’t realize that it was me who kidnapped you,” the panda-eyed guy says.

“Well…no.”

Luhan, the pretty one, interrupts. “Well I would have because his method was too simple. I mean, we could have just gone into his apartment, scare his dog and ransack his room but Tao was like, ‘no what if Chanyeol gets hurt during the kidnapping’ and went on to  abduct him from the street.” Luhan stamps his feet. “I mean, where’s the fun in that?”

“Well…” Chanyeol starts. “To be honest, I don’t find his method too simple. I became unconscious. I have never fainted in my life.”

Luhan waves a dismissive arm around. “He knocked this one unconscious using chloroform. Chloroform. Who uses chloroform these days anyway?”

“Tintin,” Kris supplies. 

“Not cool,” Luhan says. Kris scowls.

“I want justice,” Tao says, eyes not wavering from Chanyeol and frankly Chanyeol finds it scary.

“No what you need is vanilla ice cream,” says someone and in sails a fair guy, an ice cone. They stare.

“Yixing, its freezing outside. How are you able to eat that thing?” asks Kris/Wu Fan, a large hand pointing at the ice cone.

“Snowflakes aren’t affected,” the newcomer says and sits down on the ground a few feet away. “You want?” he asks from Tao.

Tao gives an uncertain glance to Kris before bending down and the side of the ice cone. Before he could go for another, Luhan shoves him aside.

“Ice cone is mine,” he declares and he grabs it off Yixing’s hand.

“Hey!”

Luhan cackles as he runs off with the ice cone.

“But Minseok made it for me,” Yixing protests, still on the floor. He looks at Kris accusingly.

Kris shrugs. “Go get it?”

“You are no help at all you useless giant,” the other huffs before gracefully standing up. He sends a judging glance at trussed up Chanyeol before exiting the room.

“I still want justice,” pipes up Tao from the side. Chanyeol shifts in the chair. “I want freedom.” He pouts at Kris. 

Kris blinks. And looks away hurriedly.

“Wu Fan,” the other says sweetly. “It was your fault that my wushu stick got ruined. You know how important it is to me.”

Chanyeol watches Kris take a deep breath.

“If you hadn’t gone and whacked it over Chen’s head it would have still been here with me and Chanyeol wouldn’t be here with us and Yixing would still have his ice cream—”

Kris gives in. He turns to Chanyeol and asks heavily, “How much does a wushu stick cost?”

When Chanyeol gives him the amount his eyes grow comically wide. (What, wushu sticks are expensive.)

“I regret touching your stick,” he sighs heavily. Tao smiles as Kris takes his wallet out.

“I love you duizhang,” the guy says. Kris splutters. Then—

“Oh wait. Chanyeol, are there any Gucci wushu sticks by any chance? I have never managed to find one but—”

Kris shoves the money into Chanyeol’s lap.

“Please accept this money for a new wushu stick,” Kris says, almost desperate.

“I accept,” Chanyeol nods. Kris glances at the wad of notes on his lap and looks away.

“Tao, can you please Chanyeol to wherever to found him?” Kris suggests in a thin voice.

“Sure!” Tao grins and comes forward. He tucks the money into Chanyeol’s front jacket pocket and unties the rope around his body.

“Thank you for your kind cooperation,” Tao continues as he grabs onto Chanyeol and pulls him forward. Chanyeol stumbles on his feet.

“You are welcome,” Chanyeol manages to say, his throat raw with all the screaming.

Tao turns towards the door and shouts, “LUHAAAAAN!”

They hear a faint “YESSS?” from the doorway.

Tao puts an arm around Chanyeol and with the other cups his mouth. “WE ARE SENDING CHANYEOL OFF SO HELP.”

“How do you even know my name,” Chanyeol asks, ears ringing from all the shouts. Panda’s voice is surprisingly strong.

The look Tao sends him is creepy. “Intel,” he says. Kris scoffs from the side, still having not recovered from his thinner wallet.

Luhan comes in, a lollipop in his mouth this time.

“You want?” he asks Chanyeol, handing him the lollipop after a good . Chanyeol shook his head.

“Your loss,” the guy shrugged. “Come along now.”

They take Chanyeol down the stairs and to the garage where the car was parked.

“Impressive place,” Chanyeol says, figuring out how big the house was even though it was still dark.

“All thanks to Wu Fan,” Luhan says, talking around the lollipop. “Mafia bosses get paid well.”

“Mafia?”

“Yes mafia.”

Chanyeol doesn’t know what to think anymore.

“Can I come back again?” he asks when they reach his street, the spot they picked him off earlier tonight.

“Why?” Tao asks, leaning back from the driving seat.

“I told you he is crazy,” Luhan says triumphantly. He chucks the half eaten lollipop out of the window and Chanyeol doesn’t have the heart to say that he was polluting his neighborhood.

Instead, Chanyeol his lips. To tell the truth, he just wants to see Kris again but he says, “I want to taste the ice cone Minseok makes.”

Luhan’s eyes go wide. “I told you he is one of us,” he says, slapping his fist against his palm. “Yes!”

Chanyeol gets out of the car as Tao hands him a name card. “You may contact us if you are in need of anything. And you may deliver the wushu stick to this address below,” Tao says.

Chanyeol nods.

“I’ll see you later then?” he asks, hand rising to wave goodbye.

“You bet,” Luhan says with a wink. “I didn’t quite manage to take your ity so yeah.”

Tao gasps at that and whacks the back of Luhan’s head.

“Don’t mind him,” Tao smiles. “He needs his Thehun who is currently abroad on a mission.” Chanyeol nods, even though he doesn’t understand.

“Arrive derci!” Luhan calls out as Tao hits the accelerator. He raised his hand in farewell and feels that maybe, things don’t always work the same way in the world he lives in. Chanyeol watches the car fade into the night and walks to his apartment thoughtfully. He turns the name card over in his hands and is met with a face of a panda.

Name and title: Tao, Chief Executions Officer of EXOM.

Contact: a string of numbers and an address which is circled with a pen. Chanyeol presumes that this is the address he is supposed to deliver the wushu stick.

Other: Bbuing bbuing~

I have no idea how this whole thing became 2k of absolute nonsense. I’m sorry gaiz.