Yep, this supposed to be only a ONESHOT but I decided to post the reviews this fic got :D These reviews helped me a lot in making this fic better :) 

Sadly I couldn't reformat the texts and colors so I couldn't make them uniform.

Every picture is a different REVIEW.

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Reviewed by BAPBlackJackVIP of Marshmallow Review Shoppe

Story Title: (5/5)

The title was good. Even though it wasn’t that attention-grabbing, it didn’t reveal anything about the story too much and that’s a good thing.

Description/Summary/Foreword: (4/5)

You did a great job here, but revealed some stuff from the story.

Story Plot/Originality: (10/10)

I like the plot a lot and it’s pretty original :D

Flow: (/10)

I can’t really judge this part since it’s just a one-shot, so I’ll just make your total score out of 40 instead.

Grammar/Spelling: (7/10)

‘…a man in black, sleeveless shirt with a half-shaved blonde hair, hollered.’ Add an ‘a’ after ‘in’ and take out the ‘a’ after ‘with’.

‘His deep voice echoed across the hollow, graffiti-covered, practice room.’ You don’t need the comma after ‘graffiti-covered’.

‘Shivers crawled to the spines of his fellow men.’ Change ‘to’ into ‘up’.

‘He’s letting out his temper.’ It would make more sense if you changed ‘temper’ to ‘anger’.

‘He walked right through the darkness-covered street without fear for he lived there for so long, with his now called family.’ ‘darkness-covered isn’t a good word to use, I don’t think it’s a real word anyways, so you should replace it with words like ‘dimly-lit’ or ‘dark’ and add a comma after ‘for’.

‘Good thing he carried it with him before he left earlier for he knows, as their leader always have ordered, lock the doors by 9pm for it is the time for rest.’ Rewrite this as, ‘Good thing he carried it with him before he left earlier.  As their leader had always ordered, lock the doors by 9pm, which is our curfew.’

‘He then saw a worried face, from a younger brunette fellow in plain shirt and jersey pants.’ Take out the comma after ‘face’ and add an ‘a’ after ‘in’.

“Haha, of course I won’t leave you guys.” You should change ‘won’t’ to ‘wouldn’t’.

“Yah, hyung! Hey…I know that, it’s just, your fights with Yongguk-hyung, it has becoming more often and worse. I actually never have seen him all day since he left practice…’ Replace the comma after ‘that’ with a period, change ‘it’ to ‘they’ and ‘becoming’ to ‘become’.

‘He came inside the practice room with a, shirt and ripped slacks and a nice pair of Nickey Shoes.’ I think you mean ‘Nike’ not ‘Nickey’, take out the comma after ‘a’ and replace the second ‘and’ with a comma

‘ “Uhh, for what are these hair dyes for?” Yongguk wondered.’ You don’t need the first ‘for’.

‘ “It isn’t because you and him are already blonde mean we also have to” Himchan yelled.’ I think you mean “Just because you and him are already blonde doesn’t mean we have to be blonde too!” Himchan yelled.’

‘“So how about this…equipment and gadgets?” Yongguk asked.’ Change ‘how’ to ‘what’ and ‘this’ should be ‘these.

‘Junhong’s proposal surprised Yongguk, probably this could be a great time for change, so he let Junhong with his idea.’ Move ‘probably’ after ‘could’.

‘The maknae thought that the music still lack something so…’ Add an ‘ed’ at the end of ‘lack’.

‘It took a while to make them but he managed to do so.’ There should be a comma before ‘but’.

‘There were bigger audience than the past rounds.’ Replaced ‘were’ with ‘was a’.

‘Extreme tension were seen between the groups.’ ‘were’ should be ‘was’.

“It’s not yet over, we still have a chance.’ Switch ‘yet’ and ‘over’.

Enjoyment: (10/10)

This was a cool fanfic!

Total: (/50) (36/40)

Would I recommend it?: YES

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                                                                     FROM ICE MATOKI                                                  

May 12, 2013

Title: 7.5/10

YouKnowWhoIAm: The title is quite cliché. You can see that a lot of fics have that for the title. I think it would have been better if you could make a new meaning for BAP because Best Absolute Perfect is quite mainstream. If you could make something that would match your title and your story, it would be awesome.

toshidragon: The title seemed to lack impact, which is necessary since most readers just look at the title then decide if they're going to read it or not. But for me, it suits the plot really well.

Foreword/Description: 12.5/15

YouKnowWhoIAm: The description was already good. You described how the story will commence. But I have to say that it was quite revealing. Regarding the foreword, it was so long that I got bored reading it. It contained unnecessary things so, maybe you have to tone it down a little. As a reader, I always get bored with long Author’s notes.

toshidragon: I think that too much info was exposed. It might increase the thrill and excitement if you didn't reveal the new recruit's name at first. But all in all, it was well explained.

Content: 17.5/20

YouKnowWhoIAm: The one shot was really good, it wasn’t boring and I liked how you wrote it. I’m a dancer so I really liked the content of the story but I hoped you described how they moved or how they danced because I couldn’t imagine how they danced. OTL. I also wished that you made BAP go through some difficulties; it was like it was very easy for them to win. Regarding what you said about the description, I thought there would be lots of conflicts, but it seems like the only conflict was that Yongguk didn’t trust Junhong. 

toshidragon: Honestly, I think it's a bit common, especially the part where they recruited Junhong and won in the end, since most stories involve accomplishment and victory in the end right? But all in all, good job.

Spelling and Grammar: 19/20

YouKnowWhoIAm: Well, there were only a few grammatical mistakes and I didn’t see any mistake on your spelling in the story though I saw one in your Author’s note. (I read that)

So, here are some of your mistakes:

1. Everyone fell in surprise, this was the worst fight that those two ever been through.

• Everyone fell in surprise. This was the worst fight that those two have ever been through.

1. “What do you think will happen to these two, hyung?”

• “What do you thing will happen to those two, hyung?”

1. Yongguk has no choice than to agree with the group.

• Yongguk has no other choice but to agree with the group.

toshidragon: No spelling and grammar errors. (I think I’m really a grammar nazi- YouKnowWhoIAm)

Characterization: 7/10

YouKnowWhoIAm: Well, I only understood Junhong, Himchan and Yongguk. For the other three, I didn’t get to understand them because it seems like they are only a side character. I wish you made them shine more. This one shot is about the group right? So, you have to make the readers understand how they think or how they feel.

toshidragon: The characters perfectly matched your plot. You've explained Yongguk, Junhong and Himchan's character really well, but I think you left out Jongup, Youngjae and Daehyun with the detailed descriptions.

Flow: 9/10

YouKnowWhoIAm: The flow was alright. It wasn’t too fast or too slow. It was okay, so I gave you a perfect score for that.

toshidragon: I think the flow's too fast, but it's enough for a one shot story. (I think we have different opinions when it comes to flow .__. –YouKnowWhoIAm)

Originality: 9.5/10

YouKnowWhoIAm: The story is original, I haven’t read any fic that was about dancing or street dancing, that’s why I gave your story a perfect 10.

toshidragon: The plot's unique, but there are parts that really reminded me of Step Up. But it's great.

Enjoyment: 4/5

YouKnowWhoIAm: I didn’t get to enjoy the story because I had predicted that BAP would win, of course. It would have been better if they lost, but they learned their lesson, making them stronger and as they joined a new dance competition, it would have been a much better win for them. That’s what I think, sorry.

toshidragon: I loved it; since I'm a fan of BAP, especially Zelo. (But I’m a fan of Daehyun! –YouKnowWhoIAm)

Total: 86/100

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REVIEWED BY HYUNVIRUS FROM  Aspiring Heaven | Graphic, Review, and Layout Shoppe.                                                          

April 18, 2013

Title: 4/5

Let me say, the title wasn't that unique nor different. But it definitely related to the story, no joke. The title pertains to the group B.A.P, so we might be seeing some story about their everyday normal lives, but I didn't. Because of your title, you make people think about the common cliche stories, but once they read it, they'll realize how relevant it is to the story. Good job.

Foreword and Description: 6/10

The description was alright, it was a bit too revealing, but I was still surprised with the oneshot. As for the Foreword, it was sligthly messy in the end, and there were some unnecessary information there. But all in all, it was alright.

Characterization: 5/10

I got Yongguk, Zelo and Himchan's character, but this is a story about all the members. I didn't quite grasp what's Jongup, Youngjae and Daehyun's. It's as if they were just characters in the sidelines, and you made only three shine. I know it's hard to write a story with a lot of characters, but your oneshot is composed of a group so each member has to shine. 

Originality: 13/15

It was quite original, and the twist in the end that Junhong put was really pleasant to read. Good job.

Plot: 12/15

The plot was alright, for a oneshot. It was developed nicely, and it shaped the characters, so good job.

Spelling/Grammar: 25/25

No grammar mistakes. Good job.

Flow: 6/10

The flow was quite fast, and I was confused near the end. However, you wrapped it up nicely.

Enjoyment: 10/10

I'm a BABY.

Total: 81/100

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REVIEWED FROM THE ENCHANTRESS                                                                                                                                           

I lost the one who reviewed this :(

TOTAL: 76/100 POINTS

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REVIEWED BY  greyskieslatenights. VISIT HER SHOP HERE                                                                                            

Mar 12, 2013

Story Title: Best Absolute Perfect Warriors

Author: jamdii

Summary [As given by the author]: BAP Warriors has fallen down from their own game due to too many conflicts within the group. They tried to come back up but conflicts still continue to arise especially with the new recruit, Junhong.

Plot: 9/10

I haven't seen too many dance battle fics, so I found this one to be a refreshing change. However, some parts just seemed downright childish, which I will explain more in the next section.

Character Development: 8/10

I like how you explained about the OC's history with Yongguk and the other B.A.P members, as that helped to explain why they were acting they way they did. Yet at the same time, some parts just seemed too immature. I understand that Junhong is young, however Yongguk also seems to display the same childishness at times. It makes sense that yes, he's afraid of getting betrayed, but he seems to display it in a way that reminds me more of toddlers fighting rather than the anger of a 22-year-old man.

Spelling+Grammar: 7/10

I've noticed that you tend to misuse commas a lot, and insert prepositions when there aren't really any necessary. The story isn't unreadable, but as a native English speaker, it was difficult to read and understand at certain points.

Layout: 7/10

The gif background was kind of distracting while I was reading, because my eyes kept wandering to the glowing outline thing. I was also confused why you kept switching from centered text to left-justified (the latter, however, is the correct to use when writing). Some parts of the story repeated, for reasons I'm not quite sure... you may want to fix that.

Overall Opinion: 7.5/10

First off, I'm sorry for never getting around to betaing this orz

That aside, I thought this fic was alright. The plot was good, the character development was fine, but there was just something about this fic that bothered me. It might be that the writing style was a little too underdeveloped for me to really take seriously, but I'm not entirely sure. This may seem blunt, but I feel like if this plot were written by a different writer, I may have liked it more. Nevertheless, it was a good attempt made. B.A.P fans may want to give this a read, but I'm not personally a fan.

Final Grade: 77%—C+