I was once a married girl. No, I'm not happy with my marriage. I never once make him happy although he makes me feel like I was the only one in his life. Instead of making him happy like the way he treated me, I killed him.

Yes, the blood that's running through my body is his blood, this heart that's pumping this blood is his heart and this air that I breathe, it's all his. Am I cruel? Yes… But I have always cry after that. Knowing that I can never turn to the past I will make my next love a happy ending story. No matter how hard it takes, I will try. Even if I have to be like him…my dead husband.

For I have been feeling a lot of guilt in me. It makes sense, is it? But what is love? It makes me afraid. Can I do it? Because of being married for 2 years and it feels like 100 years for me I was cold. I was a cold hearted person. Not saying what I have in mind is what I am good at. Giving love and showing tenderness is what I am bad at. Will this wall around me be broken down?

And this... is how I started to learn on love.