HOLDING ON
HOLDING ONCold wind of Seoul gently touches your cheeks as you approached the door of your condominium. You immediately grab your keys in the bag and placed it on the knob.
As you close your door, you can feel that the pain you had been holding is gradually increasing. You ran into your room and throw yourself in the bed. Suddenly, tears started rolling from your eyes. You hugged the pillow tightly beside you. It’s 11 o’ clock in the evening and you just came home from a date with your boyfriend, Leeteuk. You still can’t admit it but, this is the last time having a date with him. Anytime later, he will be going to the military.
Everything that happened this night is just perfect. After your work he fetched you with his car and drove you to your pad. You had dinner with him at your favorite resto and he was the usual eeteuk, telling a lot of things that happened to him and super junior these pass weeks. Meanwhile, you were just quitely listening to him but at the back of your mind, you were wondering if simple things like this is really coming to end. You looked at him and he smiled at you. As you see him smiling, you felt something painful deep down your heart.
After your dinner, you asked him where he want to go next. He replied you “somewhere beautiful”. Even though you didn’t know it, you hadn’t ask again. Afterwards, he parked the car near the han river. The still river mirrors the lights coming from the huge bridge and the scene is absolutely beautiful. “I will probably miss coming here during a time like this.” Leeteuk stretches his arms and sighed. You really doesn’t know how to reply him. There was a long silence. You then looked at him and you saw him yawn. Even he do that, you can still see his dimples you always love.
You always tell him that his dimples represents how talkative, playful and childish he is and you for that. Yet he likes the way you make fun of him because he says that’s how you love him and that is perfecly true. He always describe himself as a crybaby but you find him adorable for that because you know how he cares and adores you a lot. You felt his warm palm as he touches your hand. You looked at him and was surprise to see him staring at you.
“You are so beautiful tonight.” he said looking directly at your eyes. You felt your cheeks blushing, gave a shy smile and avoided his stare by looking back on the river. He then suddenly hugged you tightly. You are about to cry but trying so hard to keep it because you didnt want him see you crying. You reminded yourself to be strong but as you can feel his warm gentle arms around you, you let out the pain you were keeping. By that, you realize how painful letting him go. But he said, it is more painful for him leaving you. You hugged him back and sobbed.
You were back to reality upon hearing your phone beeping. You reached it and read the message from leeteuk. “have you arrived safely? sleep early. sweet dreams. i love you.” a usual message from from him.
Tears had not stop but you managed to smile. you will probably miss him. but life goes on.
21 months is long but you will always believe the park jungsoo you always love.
# Just done with my first fanfic! Sorry for some wrong grammar if you happen to find some >_<
i wrote this one day before he went to the military. i miss him!
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