Kikwang hated the winter more than any other time of the year. Winter in Seoul was bitter, the cold wind bit at him from all directions, and snow and ice fell in harsh sheets. Everything was gray and colorless in winter, the sky, the landscape, people. If Kikwang had it his way, he would sleep straight through winter, in his warm bed, until spring came. Kikwang loved spring. He loved the songs of birds, fragrance of flowers, sunshine and the smell of rain on hot pavement. But this year was different. This year, Kikwang was counting down the days to the first snowfall and the holiday season.

I am happy everyday because of you.
Only you, no one else will have me but you, my love.

            Kikwang watched his best friend from the recording studio window. The smaller boy’s figure was swallowed up by jacket, a beanie cap covering up his black locks. He was totally focused, his beautiful voice flowing out, just like a bird song, and Kikwang was lost.

            Kikwang couldn’t pinpoint the moment it started, but he was certain that it was what people termed fate, or destiny. Maybe it started the first time they had met, the first time Kikwang had seen him. Truthfully, he wasn’t really looking for it, and that was what made it all the more precious. He had been blessed to have such a person fall into his life. That person didn’t know, wasn’t aware. Kikwang could never quite gather the courage to say what he wanted to say. Every time he looked into those twinkling eyes, sparking like snowflakes, Kikwang felt his heart beat hard in his chest. That person had the key to his everything.

You, I want to give you everything.
And you, I want to be kind.

For you, even until next winter,

I will be by your side.

      “Kwangie!”

       “Wah!” Kikwang gasped, almost falling off the chair he had been perched on. He jerked around  and came face to face with Yoseob.

      “Kiki are you okay?” Yoseob questioned, worry marring his cute features. “You seem kind of lost.”

       Kikwang gulped. “Yeah I’m fine, just a little tired I guess.”

        Yoseob frowned, reaching up a gentle hand to check Kikwang’s forehead for a fever. “Hmmm. You don’t have a fever.” He pulled back smiling brightly. It took all Kikwang had not to get lost in that bright smile. “Be careful though, its winter now, it’s easy to get sick!”

        Kikwang merely made a noise of consent, watching as Yoseob left him to sit down in a couch in at the other end of the recording room. Doojoon came into the room a moment later, conversing with one of the managers briefly before he scanned the room.

        “Seobbie, are you done recording?”

         “Yep, I’m all finished!”

          Doojoon nodded, “Okay, since you have an early morning schedule, I think you should go ahead and go back to the dorms with me. Kikwang, since you’re the last to record, manager-hyung will wait for you and bring you back as soon as you are done.”

Kikwang felt his heart sink a bit.

“Can’t I wait with Kiki until he finishes?”

Doojoon smiled slightly, “Sorry Yoseob, it’s better for you to go back, you have to be up early.”

Kikwang shook himself slightly. “It’s okay Seobbie, I’ll be okay. You need your rest.”

Yoseob eyed Kikwang for a second before nodding. He smiled at Kikwang before following Doojoon out.

         When Kikwang finally finished recording, it was well past two in the morning. It was freezing outside, the weather reports had predicted snowfall in the next few days. It was certainly cold enough for it. All the members had already gone to bed by the time he arrived back at the dorms. He got ready for bed as quietly as possible. Before he turned in, he gently opened the door to the room Yoseob and Dongwoon shared, careful not to make any creaking noises or let any light in. Yoseob lay sprawled on the bed with the covers kicked of down towards the end of the bed. Kikwang shook his head before sneaking in, and approaching Yoseob’s bed, casting careful glances to check that he had not awoken Dongwoon. Yoseob’s dark hair was fanned out like a halo across his pillow, one arm thrown over his head, sleeping softly.

           He looks so peaceful.

            Kikwang gently pulled the covers that Yoseob had kicked off during the night back up over Yoseob’s body. Pausing in fear as Yoseob stretched and curled up underneath them, then pressing a hand to his chest in relief as Yoseob settled underneath the covers in deep sleep once more. Kikwang watched him sleep, before retreating back to his own bed, for some reason, colder than ever before.

            Kikwang awoke the next day after a night of fitful sleep. He had been plagued by dreams of Yoseob's body pressing against his. He managed to drag himself out of bed and wash his face, before going in search of s. It was late in the afternoon. Kikwang had slept in, since he was the only one without a schedule today. The dorm was quiet and still in the mid-afternoon. It was cold as Kikwang shuffled around, so he grabbed a blanket and huddled in it on the couch while he waited for the others. It wasn’t long before he heard the electronic ping of the code being punched in. Yoseob’s small frame came through the door, bundled in several layers, face hidden by a scarf.

            “Seobbie, you’re back.” Kikwang called happily. Yoseob grinned before removing his shoes and dropping his bag, running to tackle Kikwang on the couch. Kikwang let out an ‘umph’ as Yoseob landed on him, before laughing as Yoseob began to tickle him. Yoseob then removed his gloves and placed his freezing hands underneath Kikwang’s t-shirt. Kikwang yelped and tried to roll away from Yoseob’s grasp, flailing his arms and legs. They continued to play for a few more minutes, before they both stopped, breathless.

         Yoseob rested his head on Kikwang’s chest, and Kikwang pulled the blanket over the both of them.

         “Did you have a good day?” Kikwang questioned, as he allowed his fingers to comb through Yoseob’s soft hair, not questioning their closeness.

          “Mmm, I did. How was yours?”

          “I just caught up on sleep.”

          Yoseob lifted his head to look into Kikwang’s eyes. “Did you dream good dreams?”

Kikwang gulped slightly, and shifted under Yoseob. “Yeah, they were good.”

“What did you dream about?”

You. Always you.“Uhhh, Christmastime.”

        Yoseob’s eyes lit up. “I love Christmas. It’s my favorite time of the year.”

         Kikwang smiled, “I know.”

        Yoseob looked into Kikwang’s eyes, studying him. “I thought you didn’t like this time of year.”

         Kikwang shook his head. “It’s not that. I just really hate winter. I think it brings out the worst in everything. Even during the holidays, people don’t really stop to take things in, they are just busy rushing. Winter is the bleakest of seasons.”

         Yoseob frowned, rising up. “But it brings out the best in people too. Even if people are cold, they can still be warm to one another.”

You are just like that. “True, you are always like that.”

“Like what?”

Oops.

        “Uhhh, always warm. Always thinking of others.” Kikwang mumbled.

         Yoseob stilled before he shifted till he was settled on Kikwang’s lap. “What do you mean?”

          Kikwang blinked at the warm weight of Yoseob on him. “Huh?”

          Yoseob smiled slyly. “I asked what you meant. What do you think of me?”

          Kikwang took a second to process what Yoseob said. “You know what I think of you. You’re my best friend.” I think you’re perfect. In every way. Perfect for me.

           Yoseob smiled and leaned down, till they were almost face to face. Till their noses touched. “I know that silly. You’re my best friend too. My favorite person. I want you to tell me what you think of me. Honestly.”

           “Favorite person?” Kikwang repeated dumbly, his body short-circuited by the words as pleasure raced through him.

           Honestly? I love you. But how can I say that? What if you don’t feel the same way? Kikwang stared into Yoseob’s eyes, sparkling black. What if you do?

           Kikwang’s heart thumping so loud he was certain Yoseob could hear it and was manipulating it somehow. Yoseob searched Kikwang’s eyes as the silence stretched on before them until Yoseob sighed, and pushed himself off Kikwang wearily. Kikwang watched him rise, sensing that he had missed a very important opportunity. Yoseob stood up, his back to Kikwang. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll see you later.”

             Kikwang felt something in his heart crack at the defeated tone in Yoseob’s normally chipper voice. If you love someone, tell them. Because people change, and hearts eventually move on.

           “Wait!” Kikwang half yelled, reaching out to snatch Yoseob’s wrist. Yoseob halted, stopped by the grip on his wrist. Kikwang tugged ever-so-gently on the wrist, pulling Yoseob to sit next to him on the couch. Kikwang took a deep breath, trying with all his might to ease his racing heart. He took both Yoseob’s hands in his, and looking at their entwined hands, before speaking the words he had held in his heart for so long.

            “Honsetly. I have no doubt in my mind that I am in love with you. I don’t love you like a member or a friend. I am in love with you. Whenever I am in a bad mood, all I have to do is think of you, and I smile. I hate to see you sad, it makes me want to do anything to fix it. Whenever you hold my hand, it feels like it was made to fit in mine.” Kikwang blushed as he ploughed on through his confession. "I dream about you, you and me." Kikwang gathered his courage and meet those eyes. “I love you Yoseobbie. I’d do anything for you.”

            Yoseob smiled. It was more brilliant than anything Kikwang could ever remember seeing. Better than any dream.

            “I love you too Kiki, you’re all I’d ever need.”

You, you must tightly hug me,
And you, you have to treasure me,

For you, with a big heart, I became yours.