Attached.
Attached.
This wasn't supposed to hurt this much. Xiumin thought to himself as he sat at a small table. He knew he shouldn't have entered the cafe after seeing Luhan, but he couldn't resist the urge. It had been so long since he had seen the other, even if Luhan hadn't seen him.
"Hi, can I take your order?" Luhan's cheery voice broke through Xiumin's thoughts, causing him to shake his head and look wide-eyed up at the other. When Xiumin didn't respond, Luhan tilted his head slightly before repeating himself, "May I take your order?"
Shaking his head again, Xiumin dropped his gaze to the white table cloth before him before mumbling out, "Hot chocolate please."
"I'll go get that ready for you." Luhan weakly provided and looked at the customer as confusion settled his features, he was about to ask whether the other wanted whipped cream or marshmallows, but decided against it before walking away- something told him the other wanted marshmallows anyway. As Luhan's footsteps receeded, Xiumin found himself staring at the ring that was sitting on his finger.
The ring was a simple silver-plated piece, nothing spectacular to the eye other than a few etched spirals, but to Xiumin it meant the world. He could still remember the day he received the ring, it was a day that was the exact opposite of today. That day, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and he could be seen smiling from a mile away. That day, Luhan was still with him as they relaxed in the other's apartment, plates of recently finished take-out resting on an end table and cups of hot cocoa with marshmallows resting in their hands as Luhan started off on a confusing tangent. Xiumin had found himself pouting and scolding his boyfriend, telling him that if he had something important to say he should just say it out instead of beating around the bush. In the following seconds, Luhan had taken his hand and slid the silver ring over his finger. Luhan that day had been so full of surprises, so joyous. Xiumin could still recall the eyesmile his boyfriend had given him as he explained the reasons behind the ring. They weren't ready to be engaged, but they could still make a promise. "With this, I promise that I will always be yours, and you mine." Luhan stated as he showed the matching ring on his own finger.
Xiumin now sat, staring harder at the white table cloth as though it could prevent the flood of memories from knocking him off kilter, the fingers of his right hand unconsciously twisting the ring around on his left hand. He heard Luhan's flirtatious giggle in the middle of all of this and his head snapped up, facing his now ex-boyfriend who was standing at the doorway to the kitchen, waiting for a customer's order as he giggled and playfully smacked another waiter's shoulder. Taking the opportunity, Xiumin read the other waiter's name tag- Kai. Xiumin watched the two flirt as his heart clenched, Luhan used to look at him that way- and that hadn't been allowed, why is Kai so "okay"? Or is it just that they don't know about him yet? Xiumin began to drown in his own sorrows once more as he watched the two from his seat, his fingers unconsciously curling in until the nails were digging little crescent-shaped cuts into his palms.
Once again, Xiumin's gaze dropped to avoid looking at Luhan flirt with the other waiter. He quickly lost track of time until a mug of hot cocoa was placed on the table before him, a few marshmallows falling over the rim of the cup and sliding along the side until they met with the little saucer, resting next to a stainless steel spoon. "One hot chocolate with extra marshmallows." Luhan's voice recited as though that was exactly how Xiumin had placed the order. "I hope you don't mind the marshmallows, I took the liberty of requesting them for you." Luhan added, his voice dropping slightly so that he wouldn't be overheard.
Xiumin's left hand traveled up to his chest and grasped at his shirt just above the location of his heart as he mumbled a weak 'thank you.' He had been forgotten, that was confirmed three years ago, but Luhan had managed to remember his love of marshmallows over that. Even if that wasn't exactly what had happened- his conscious made that fact known- it still meant something, it had to. Xiumin spent the following minutes carefully demolishing the pile of marshmallows and using the spoon to dig out some of the hot beverage beneath, sipping it as though it were a soup, while his mind continued to dance over moments in the past. From the day they became a couple after an awkward conversation with Luhan's adopted brother Zitao, to the day when Luhan was ripped from his life.
They had had a stupid argument and Xiumin had set chase after Luhan who was running down the street. Xiumin had been explaining what Luhan's parents had told him about how the married couple felt about their relationship- and Luhan wouldn't believe him. "Why are you lying to me?" Luhan's outcry still echoed in the back of Xiumin's mind for it was just seconds later that his boyfriend was tearing off down the street. Everything had happened so fast after that though. Luhan had bumped into a guy who was a bit younger than them, but definitely much stronger, and Xiumin could do nothing but watch from the distance as he continued to run towards them- the guy got angry and immediately pushed Luhan. It happened in slow-motion, Luhan stumbling backwards into the street, their eyes meeting as Xiumin reached out for his boyfriend despite still being a good fifteen feet away, and the taxi slamming into Luhan as though he were a plastic bag being carried by the wind. That was more than three years ago now.
The day following the accident, Luhan's parents came to visit him in the hospital. While they were there, Luhan had woken up and he clearly hadn't recognized Xiumin when he spoke, "Mom... dad... who's he?" the hoarse voice of his boyfriend cut through his heart that day. Xiumin was too stunned to speak, but Luhan's father was more than willing to provide an answer.
"He works at the hospital, son. He was just coming in to tell us how you progressed throughout the night." Xiumin's mouth had dropped open in shock at that, but he couldn't bring himself to object as he recalled how Luhan had ended up in the hospital. He was then pushed out into the hallway with the father. Once the door was closed, he was told to wait in the hospital cafeteria, they would call him back later.
Three hours later, Xiumin was standing in the hospital room again, Luhan asleep thanks to a drug the nurse had placed in his IV line. He was staring at Luhan's sleeping form as his boyfriend's parents ranted on and on, he was unacceptable and they wanted him out of their son's life. He doesn't remember how he responded, his mind was paralyzed as his heart broke more with every insult they flung at him, but he couldn't bring himself to stand up against them again. If I do, I'll hurt him again. He knew it might not be true, but he couldn't help but feel it was, so as they grabbed the Luhan's ring from the hospital bedside table and placed it in his hand. All Xiumin could do was numbly nod before looking up to find himself out on the sidewalk in front of the hospital.
That flirtatious giggle broke through his thoughts once again and Xiumin looked at the ring on his finger. It has been three years, and Luhan still couldn't recognize him- and the other has obviously moved on. Why am I still here? Xiumin asked himself as he stared at the cup with half of the contents gone and the other half still pleasantly releasing heat. Xiumin pulled a small wad of bills out of his back pocket and dropped them in the center of the table. Still seated, he stared at the ring on his finger for a second more before slowly pulling it off and placing it on the table, directly in front of his unfinished beverage. Standing up, Xiumin wordlessly made his way to the door of the small cafe, a small part of his mind still reprimanding him for even setting foot in the cafe after he saw Luhan's face through the window.
Luhan saw his customer begin to leave and went over to the table. Just as he was about to remove the money, he saw the glint of the silver ring and hurriedly picked it up. Catching up to the customer in record time, he held his hand out, palm up, with the ring sitting in the center as the customer turned to face him.
Seeing Luhan's concerned face as the other held up his ring hurt Xiumin even more as he offered a weak and sorrow-filled smile. Xiumin was oblivious to the tears that were silently sliding down his cheeks as his slowly reached up and gently curled Luhan's hand over itself, cupping the ring. With a slight shake of his head, Xiumin turned around and grabbed his umbrella from its post by the door before stepping out into the downpour, his umbrella protesting as he opened it to run interference against the onslaught of water from the sky. As the rain propelled against the plastic surface and fell on the cement around him, Xiumin slowly walked away from the cafe, his shoulders shaking as his tears joined the rain water on the cement.
Luhan remained frozen in the cafe, his hand loosely clasped around the ring as he stared at the spot where the crying male had last stood. His heart aching for some unknown reason as an unfamiliar name left his lips in a nearly silent whisper, "Xiumin..."
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My biggest apologies for the amount of angst to all XiuHan shippers! ^^;; <3
I sincerely hope you all... uhm... enjoyed reading this~ ^^<3
Thank you for reading, subscribing, and commenting as you so choose!
~Ling<3
Attached- guys... your comments. They're making my heart ache! T^T I'm sawwy Xiumin!!
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