I don't wanna live with him anymore. He ruins my life. He makes it so miserable. I hate him. I love him so much. I can't live without him. But the only thing he does is hurting me, making me cry. I simply can't do this anymore.

I'm standing on the top of the flat I live in. Ready to jump. 

There's no other solution then jumping. I gotta escape this life. Since he came into it, the only thing I can feel is pain. If it's not him hurting me, by kissing someone else, smiling his sweet smile at someone else, saying things that hurt me, hurting me while loving me, I hurt myself, because I feel so miserable. Sometimes, I cut myself, just so I won't feel the mental pain he causes.
But now, cutting won't help. This time, he went too far. This time, there's no other way out.

But I don't wanna leave him. I love him a lot.
The only problem is, he can't love. Yeah, he can say he loves someone, or he can make love to someone, but he can't feel love for someone. When he was younger, people hurt him a lot. He doesn't know the feeling of being loved, and so he doesn't know the feeling of loving. That's why he just 'loves' everybody. He sleeps with everybody, he tells I love you to everybody who wants to hear.
But people do love him. Because he's perfect. Almost. Except for the not loving part, he is.

I love him. But he only hurts.

Then suddenly, I jump. I didn't intend to, not yet. I wanna love him one last time. But I jumped.

They say, that when you're gonna die, your whole life passes flashing. In my case, that wasn't the thing. Just a part of my life flashes by, the parts where I knew him.

I was walking home late at night, when I bumped into someone. "I'm sorry!" I immediatly apologized. Some dark looking tough guy turns around and looks into my eyes. "How could it possibly be true, that such a pretty voice, perfectly matches with the pretty face, and the pretty mouth where the voice comes from?" When I heard this, I was totally dumbfounded. Did he really just say that?!
Before I coud say anything back, he grabbed my hand and took me with him. I don’t really know where he took me, I was too shocked about everything that just happened and couldn’t pay attention to where we walked or where he took me.

That was the moment I fell for him. Those pretty, mysterious dark eyes, this deep, unbelievably deep voice, his perfect bad boy look. Yes. I fell for him. Way too deep. Maybe even deeper then the height of this building.
The first time I fell for a boy.
The beginning of the end of my life. He destroyed it, with his mysterious being.

My phone rang. I didn’t really feel like talking right now. Let’s see who decided to disturb me in this calm, peaceful moment. As soon as I saw the caller ID, my thoughts about being disturbed changed. The display of my phone said “Seunghyun—TOPguy ♥♥♥”.
“Hi~”
“Hi Yongie~, you wanna come over here?”  I shouldn’t do it, but I simply can’t resist this voice, asking this kind of thing.
“Why do you want me to come over?”
“I wanna play~” I simply could here him smirk. I could totally picture the y, playful smirk on his beautiful face.
“Sure, I’ll come, how late should I be there?”
“As soon as possible!! Please~?!” And with that, he ended the call. Damn it. I wasn’t able to resist him once again. I am so gonna regret this…

I couldn’t ever resist him. Never. He just knew how to let me do anything.
But now, I’ll change that. I’ll decide for my own, live my life my own way. Yes, that’s what I’m doing now. Deciding for my own.

“Ji-Ji, you know I love you right??”
“You say that to everyone you , don’t you?!”  Why do I even ask him. Why do I even get happy when he says such thing. Why do I even try to believe him. Why do I want to believe him. Because I love him.
“Of course not! I love you, only you Ji-ji!”  Yeah, sure.
“Believe me, Jiyong. I love you. A lot.” He tenderly planted a kiss on my lips, as if he wanted to proof how much he loved me. I couldn't help it, but I wanted to believe him so bad. 
He kissed me again, this time a bit more rough. His kisses moved from my lips towards my jaw, and then slowly to my neck.

He always did that. First letting me believe that he loved me, and I always believed it. Then, pleasuring himself, knowing that I would do everything for him.

"Ji~ Where are you going now?? Don't leave! You know I don't feel anything for him! You know I only love you, right?!" Yeah, sure. He's probably thinking something totally different right now; 'Ji~ why are you leaving? It was so nice! You know you can so much better then him! You know I only want to you now, right?!'  

Why did I love him? Why does he have to be so extremely hot, sweet, y? Why does he have to be everything I would fall for?! He only brought me to this. He only brought me to the point where I'm jumping from a building, feeling extremly misserable.

Why do I miss him right now? Why does my heart ache so much, knowing that I won't see him ever again?

Then, when I open my eyes, I see him. He stands, on the ground, next to the building.
"I love you, Ji" I hear is deep voice whisper.

TOP POV.

"I love you, Ji" I whisper.

And when I say that, he hits the ground, and is gone...