Lu Han,

"Don't fall in love with him," was the first thing he said to me when I met you.

You had fallen asleep reading a textbook, your long lashes settled sweetly over rosy cheeks. The book was resting on your chest as you breathed in and out so slowly. You were beautiful, and if I had understood what love was in the beginning, it would easily have been described as love at first sight. I had never seen such a beautiful young man before.

You were the person that caused an angel to leave his post of his own free will. I was called in to take his place, because I was in the area and not doing anything much at the time. Initially, I was told very little, only that the previous angel guarding you was young and had made mistakes in your care. I was told that if I did well with you, then there was potential for me to stay by your side for the rest of your days. For an angel normally charged with helping people build relationships, both physically and spiritually, I normally spent little time with humans. My whole life was helping people make friends and maintain personal relationships, but more to strengthen their relationship with higher spiritual entities. I had never been charged with watching over a human for the entirety of their life. Yet, here I was, watching you while you slept, a small smile set on your lips as you dreamed of something good and happy. I wondered why any angel would give up the chance to guard you through your life.

The voice that had cautioned me laughed, and soon a figure wrested me from my staring at you. Your roommate walked by me with a blanket in tow. He lifted the book from you and marked the page for you, then gently placed the blanket over your sleeping form. For a moment, he glanced at me and smiled, then returned to where he had come from, seating himself at the electric piano in the corner, his fingers gliding over the keys as he made notes sing. I blinked at him, quite certain that he had been able to see me, when that laugh from earlier came again.

Standing next to the young pianist was another angel, tall and handsome with a mop of blond hair on his head. He had a modern look to him, in sleek clothes that seemed designer. If he didn't have impressive red-and-gold wings, then I would have assumed he was a human. "Don't mind him," he said, glancing at the man at the piano. "He can see us, but he can't understand us as long as we speak in the angelic tongue." He pulled away from the young musician, walking up to me with his hand out. "I'm Kris," he took up my hand and shook it. He was very strong as well.

"Oh," I said, feeling a little intimidated and inadequate. I wasn't dressed as finely as him, still wearing my usual work clothes. People expect angels to look a certain way, with flowing robes and sandaled feet, and I was still dressed the part. Being in the presence of a smartly-dressed, modern angel was not what I had planned for when I was sent to this new post. I'm not exactly the tallest or most handsome of angels, either; I kept a lot of my cherubic looks from when I was small, so my face was still round and cheeks still plump. I smiled shyly at the tall angel before me as I looked up at him. "I'm called Xiu Min right now."

"You're here to replace Sehun," he said. "Just remember what I said earlier, okay?"

"You mean the part about not falling in love?"

"I see they told you nothing before you were posted here," he snorted, seating himself on the sofa while his human played an unfamiliar tune.

I joined him, my eyes catching your sleeping form as it moved a little on the chair nearby. I shook my head slowly in response. "I know I'm guarding that boy and that something happened between the two of them. Everything was fairly mysterious, but I didn't mind at the time."

"You were excited for a new post, weren't you?"

"Of course I was," I glanced at you again, smiling at you. You're really beautiful when you're asleep. "Builders are usually cast as helpers to humans, not guardians. It's a great opportunity, though you're making it seem like this was a bad decision."

"I'm not suggesting that at all," the other angel said, grabbing a magazine from the coffee table and glancing through it. I stared at him, stunned that he would make himself so obvious in the presence of humans. He flipped through a few pages of what looked to be a fashion magazine, then pointed to one of the models and shoved the image under my nose. "I think you'd look cute in something like this." It was a very casual look, a simple shirt with a jacket and tight white jeans coupled with work boots. "You need to update your look if you'll be living with us. I can't be seen with an angel that looks so traditional. I have an image to maintain."

It was then that I realized that this angel had to be one of the angels of beauty and art, with a heavy emphasis on the "beauty" part. I took the magazine from him, looking at the outfit he'd picked for me. "I've never worn jeans before," I admitted with a chuckle.

"You'll be wearing jeans and khakis from now on," said Kris. "I'm personally giving you a wardrobe change." He took the magazine from me and raised it over his head, waving at the man at the piano. "Hey, Yixing," he spoke in fluent Mandarin Chinese, which left me stunned, "the new guy needs better clothes, so we're going shopping tomorrow."

The music stopped and the man named Yixing turned to look at us, sticking his tongue out while speaking soft enough to not wake his roommate, "You're supposed to be guarding me, not becoming the fashion coordinator for a cute angel."

Kris tossed the magazine at his human, who caught it easily and tossed it back at the angel. "I doubt you'll die if we leave you for an hour."

"I don't know," Yixing pulled away from the keyboard and joined us on the couch, squishing himself next to me, "maybe I'll go skydiving and 'accidentally' forget my parachute."

"Then it would be your own fault that you died," the angel picked up another magazine, this one a music magazine, and thumbed through the pages lazily.

"I could somehow end up trapped in an elevator or being eaten by crocodiles or stepped on by an angry elephant."

"Are you planning on going to the zoo?"

"Not particularly."

"Then you don't have to fear about crocodiles or elephants."

"And elevators?"

"You should always be afraid of elevators." Kris tossed the magazine back onto the table and I was beginning to feel that these two must have a relationship that I would never understand in an eternity.

In that small moment of silence between the two of them, I interjected in what was very broken Mandarin, "I'm called Xiu Min as of now." I held out my hand to the human, and unlike many other humans I had met, he grabbed it as though it was corporeal and gave it a gentle shake.

"Zhang Yixing," he smiled dully, "but when I perform, I prefer the name 'Lay.'" He laughed then yawned, stretching his arms high above his head. "Well, it's getting late, and I have to make sure not to die tomorrow, so I'll follow Lu Han's example and hit the sheets. Don't get rowdy out here while he's sleeping." He lifted himself up and walked towards where I assumed the bedrooms were.

Kris patted my leg before getting up. "I hope you don't end up like Sehun," he said and followed after his human.

I sat in silence a moment, looking blankly at the television across from where I sat, the reflection holding everything but myself in it. At the far corner of the screen, you were sleeping so soundly. None of our conversation had roused you, and you had shifted yourself to cuddle the blanket. My thoughts soon found themselves at the other angel's words. I was not to fall in love with you and to not end up like Sehun. Did this mean Sehun had fallen in love with you?  I had no understanding of human love. I knew how angels loved, but that was different from the love that humans spoke of. I laid myself on the sofa, keeping my gaze on you for a short time before I felt myself linger into sleep. On that day, you were Lu Han and I was your guardian angel.

The next morning, I watched as Yixing walked in and poked your face, and you swatted at it before slipping out of the chair. You groaned, stretching yourself fully awake and smiling sleepily. "Don't ever let me do that again," you grumbled, but your smile betrayed you. "Now I hurt all over."

Yixing laughed as he went into the kitchen, preparing to make breakfast, "You shouldn't let your textbooks make you sleepy. If the class is so boring, you should just drop it."

"Says the musical genius drop-out," you found your book as you spoke, finding the marker your roommate had left in it for you and smiled wider. "At least you have potential in something."

"You could always try being a soccer star again," Yixing called from the kitchen as he the stove. "I'm making omelets. What do you want in yours?"

"Ham and cheese and whatever else we have that looks good."

He made a sound that was in confirmation and went to work making your meal. You planted yourself on the couch, and I moved to make room for you. Like any other human, you couldn't see me or feel me, despite how close I was to you. You turned the TV on and flipped through many channels before deciding there was nothing on and getting up again.

"I'm going to take a shower."

"Okay," called Yixing, not looking up from his work, "but make it quick."

"I'm always quick," you laughed as you walked towards the bathroom.

From the hall as you left the room came Kris, who looked me over and frowned at my appearance. "We're definitely getting you better clothes today." He had returned to speaking in our angelic tongue, and Yixing was back to ignoring us.

"I was thinking last night," I said slowly to change the subject of my clothing to something more important.

"And that would be?"

"How can that human see us and hear us and touch us?"

Kris sat himself next to me in the spot you had vacated and heaved a sigh. "I was afraid that you would ask that."

I huffed, "How could I not ask that?"

"Don't puff out your cute cheeks at me like that," he laughed. "Maybe I'll tell you later, but for now, I just want you to get acquainted with how things work here. You said this is a great opportunity for you, so you can't blow it by missing out on the first few days with needless questioning. For now, you need to get comfortable with this new environment. I looked you up last night, and you have very little experience with modern humans beyond stepping in and helping them find God. That's not good for the resume of someone wanting to be a guardian."

I puffed my cheeks out at him again, though I was inwardly despising that he had called me cute. "A builder of spiritual and emotional bridges doesn't really need to update his resume often."

"Or at all," he poked my cheek with his finger, letting free a small laugh.

"You two seem lively this morning," said Yixing as he finished with whatever he was making. "You're both going to just eat manna for breakfast, I assume."

"You assume correctly," Kris said, calling back to him in Mandarin.

"I'll set a place for you both, anyway," he replied before humming a tune that he was making up on the fly.

From the bathroom, you reappeared, your hair still a little wet despite being fully clothed, "Who are you talking to?" You gave Yixing an odd look, as though judging the man's sanity. I would find later that many people gave him that same look every day.

"I forgot to mention that we have another one to replace the one you ran off," the human in the kitchen chuckled as he brought out the dishes, setting them on the kitchen table. Two of the plates had food on them and two were empty. He pulled out the chairs at the empty table settings and waved for Kris and me to sit down with them.

I looked at Kris, puzzled, and he smirked and pulled me up as he stood. "He sees us as family, so he wants us to eat with them, even if we don't eat human food."

I nodded but didn't really understand. We both sat down before you humans did, and you sat next to me on our first morning together. You didn't even know I was there, my elbows brushing against yours. You kept a brow raised as you began to eat your breakfast, watching your roommate as though he was an alien species.

"I don't remember running off anyone, let alone a ghost--"

"Angel," he corrected.

"Fine, 'angel.'"

"He's cuter than the last one. You'd like him, I think," he winked at me and I blushed, looking down at my empty plate. A large hand dropped a piece of shining bread onto it and set down a glass of sparkling water. From across the table, Kris smiled and gestured for me to eat.

"I don't even know what the last one looked like," you grumbled, reaching for a glass of orange juice. "You're such a weirdo."

"I can describe him for you," Yixing offered rather sincerely. I a piece of manna and tried to make myself small next to you.

"Go right ahead," you laughed.

"Hm," Yixing's expression turned thoughtful as he gathered his thoughts for you. "He's a tad shorter than you, with a round face and full cheeks. His eyes are dark and slight, and he kind of looks like a little kid. I guess the best way to describe his hair is short and auburn-colored, which is nice against his clean, white skin. And he has really pretty wings."

"So the only way you know he's an angel is because he has wings."

"No, but that's what angels are supposed to have, right?"

"Right," you were very skeptical, "and I bet they're bright white like the angels in books and paintings."

"They look more like a blue jay's wings," your roommate lifted his hands to trace the shape of my wings in the air as he spoke, "kind of like this, and they're blue and white and outlined in black. They sort of shine in the sunlight. I didn't notice that last night, but I notice it now. My angel has dull wings when compared." He chuckled, looking to Kris and the angel shot him a displeased look in return.

"He does sound lovely for an imaginary creature," you hummed as you finished your meal. "You never have described your angel much to me, just that he's tall and looks constipated all the time."

Kris shot Yixing a furious expression as your roommate laughed heartily. "I never thought you'd repeat that with him sitting here!"

"Is he going to hate me now?"

"I think he's just going to sit here and scowl while pretending to loathe me, aren't you, Kris?" He jabbed an elbow at the angel next to him, but all Kris could do was frown deeper.

"I don't look constipated all the time," Kris muttered under his breath, and I laughed. I wasn't expecting the pair to be so informal and funny.

"This is the most you've ever talked about these angels you see all the time," you mused before downing the rest of your orange juice. "What's my angel's name, if yours is named Kris?"

"Xiu Min, if I remember from last night," Yixing looked at me and I gave a small nod.

"That's an odd name for an angel," you said, as though my name was a disappointment. "Even Kris sounds kind of lame."

I waved my arms at Yixing and he looked at me with anticipation. "Tell him that my previous name was Kim Minseok. Tell him that I'm from South Korea, and that I used to live there as a spiritual guide." I hoped my Mandarin was good enough; it had never been my strongest language.

He nodded and translated. "He says he was named Kim Minseok before he got the name Xiu Min. I guess they get different names for different things. He's from South Korea and worked as a spirit guide."

Kris spoke up, "Tell him Xiu Min's life before sounded super boring and that he's glad he can wear trendy human clothes and pretend he's cool."

Yixing punched him in the arm, which to you must have looked like him punching thin air, and said, "My angel is being an idiot today. I told him I might accidentally die today because he wants to go shopping with the new angel."

You looked very amused at this notion. "I didn't know angels went shopping. What do angels buy?"

"Kris always dresses like a runway model, so they're going clothes shopping."

"Now I really wish I was seeing what you were seeing," you laughed so beautifully.

Your roommate laughed but it hid something dark within it. "You shouldn't wish for weird things like that. It's not good for your health." He pulled away from the kitchen table and began to clear the dishes away. "Don't you have class today?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to go. I fell asleep trying to study for my class, remember?"

"Well, at least you don't have a test."

"But I do."

"Oh, then have fun digging your grave."

"Thanks, Yixing. You're so good at lifting my spirit."

"You should talk to your angel for lifting of spirits. I'm just here to mooch off you."

"You're a great friend."

"I try."

The rest of the day proceeded well, with Yixing composing music, you going off to fail your test, and two angels going off to buy modern clothes. Shops for angels don't exist in your world, so we made a short trip to Shamayim, the First Heaven. We made certain to not keep too long, as Kris was insistent that I be present for the time you took your test. Even if your failure was inevitable, I was still needed to watch over you and hope you did an admirable job.

After getting changed into more humanlike clothes, I returned to your side and Kris returned to Yixing. I watched you as you made simple, careless mistakes on your exam, feeling a bit sorry for you. I whispered answers to you, but you didn't hear me. I knew you wouldn't hear me, but I wanted to try anyway. The other angels in the room sent me odd glances and muttered behind me. Apparently I had become angelic gossip among the hosts. I tried my best to ignore them and kept myself close to you, touching you. I was praying for your success, but knowing in my heart that you wouldn't succeed. When you handed in your test after leaving the final essay question blank, I held your hand as we left the room. The results for your exam came the next day.

You failed your test.

As the days wore on into weeks and months, I got used to the life of a guardian. Guardians really didn't have such lavish lives, other than a free place to sleep and free meals to eat. Most of the time it was boring, and I wondered why any angel would walk out on such a simple job. As long as I aided in keeping you from overt harm, my existence in your life was fairly unnecessary. Yixing described himself as a moocher, and it seemed like guardian angels were moochers as well. We live quietly in your home, watching you do mundane things.

In that boredom was when I decided to write. I wrote letters to you that I knew you would never read. Not letters like this one, written on human parchment with human ink in human script.  No, I wrote on angelic parchment with angelic ink in angelic script. Even your roommate had trouble seeing the letters I wrote for you. I would write them as you slept and place them on your nightstand. You would look in their general direction but never read them. They never said anything that you would be curious in knowing of.

"Lu Han, I watched you dancing to that song you love when you thought no one was looking. You should dance more. You look happy when you dance. -Xiu Min"

"Lu Han, I really enjoy watching you play soccer. I know you don't play as often as you would like to, but you always enjoy yourself. You're really great. Maybe, someday, you can teach me how to play, and we can play together. -Xiu Min"

"Lu Han, I like your new hair style. It makes you look very handsome. Dying it blond was a good choice. -Xiu Min"

There are endless letters like these that you can't see or read. I'm not even sure why I started writing them. The first one was very simple: "Lu Han, I'm glad you passed all of your classes. Good luck in the next semester. -Xiu Min"

You're so very smart, and I was glad you found enough confidence that semester to bring your scores up in every class, not just in the class where you failed that exam. I just wanted you to know that I was cheering for you, even if you didn't know I was there. It made me feel like I was a part of your life in a way that was more than just being your guardian angel. Even though we couldn't interact, I wanted to at least feel like I was your friend and ally. I didn't think it would end up in the way that it did.

"Why do you keep writing to him like that?" Kris finally asked the question he had wanted to ask for half a year.

"Am I not supposed to?" We all were in the great room, you humans seated on the sofa watching a terrible movie, both of you making fun of it and laughing at your jokes. Kris and I were seated at the kitchen table, where I was writing another letter and Kris was watching intently as I wrote it. It felt that, as time went on, my letters to you became longer and longer. It was when I had moved on to my fourth page that Kris had posed his question.

"You're allowed to do whatever you want to, but it just seems rather pointless. He can't read them. Not even Yixing can read them."

"What if I said they were more for my benefit than for Lu Han's?"

"It would still be pointless."

I huffed, puffing out my cheeks in that way Kris hated so much. "It's not pointless. I want to write down everything. It's more for my sake than for his."

"I doubt it; not with how you look at him some times."

There was implication of something in his tone that made me uncomfortable. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"That's how it started with Sehun, but at least he was smart enough to know what it meant."

I set my quill down and looked him in the eyes. "Are you saying that I'm ignorant of something?"

The other angel grinned in a rather unpleasant way. "Your ignorance might save you."

I frowned deeply but returned to my letter. I didn't want to be ignorant, if it meant that Kris was just going to make fun of me. A sound released from my lips and he laughed, patting my head as he got up from the table. "You're cute." He joined you and Yixing on the couch and laughed at the lame jokes you made.

To me, before that moment, my letter writing was harmless. I wanted to send you helpful thoughts and wishes, even if you couldn't read them. Now, with Kris's words stirred into my mind, I was beginning to question my original intent and question myself. No one had told me what happened to Sehun other than warning me to not become him. It was high time that I found the information that had been withheld from me.

He was young and shy, this Sehun, with a lot of hope and promise  He was yours since birth, and he bonded with you quickly. He didn't understand the rules of being a guardian angel, just as I hadn't, but he tried earnestly to be near you constantly. No matter what you did, he was there by your side.  It was innocent and he enjoyed every moment.

As you grew older, that was when the infatuation began. It was small and tame as first, but he soon began to feel emotions and desires he had never felt before. He began having feelings that were more human than angelic. Temptations started boiling in him, and as you entered university, he began to question himself. At some point, he had discovered that he had fallen in love with you, which isn't a sin or a fault. An angel who falls in love isn't reprimanded, per se, but they are ridiculed and looked down upon by their peers. There are options for these angels, and when he discovered his feelings for you, he regretfully turned away from you.

I met with him personally and he told me that he regretted that moment in his life.  He felt like he had tossed you away, even though you never knew he existed. That was the tragedy of it all. He loved you and you were none the wiser. It was cruel, in a way, for him to be so tortured while you stayed blissfully unaware of what he was going through.

He was given a new assignment, but the damage to his reputation had already been done. He loved a human, and now he would spend eternity being mocked and shamed for it. Without even knowing it, you destroyed a shining star with just existing.

Kris had been keen the whole time, and even Yixing noticed it. "You don't look at him the same way the other one did," said the human, "but I know that look when I see it. Everyone experiences it in different ways with different people."

"I don't look at him like that," I said in my ever-improving Mandarin.

"You can say that, but if you keep denying it, you'll just end up ruined."

"Like Sehun," Kris said slowly.

A long silence passed between us while you studied in your bedroom. It was a typical evening. I was writing my letter to you while Yixing, in his Lay persona, was practicing a new song with Kris as his only audience member. The human shrugged and returned to playing his guitar for Kris.

As the evening continued, Yixing went to bed with Kris following behind. Your roommate would often warn you of when I was coming in, and this particular evening was no different. I walked through the door and saw you on the bed, still awake as you read a book. Instead of studying, you were reading something for pleasure, and I smiled as I looked at the title. It was a book about angels and demons and Christian mythology. You were studying for me and Kris, so you could understand our circumstances more. I thought it was sweet.

I rested my latest letter to you on your nightstand and I wondered if you would ever notice that I had filled its drawer with the old ones. When they had piled up, I had no choice. It was your voice that stopped me from leaving your side.

"Xiu Min," you said softly, as though you couldn't believe you were talking to something you didn't even believe in. I looked up at you, your eyes searching the room for a shadow that would give me away. You looked so genuine and vulnerable. I tapped the lamp that sat on your nightstand and you looked and it was almost like you were looking at me. I blushed, having never seen you so desperately seeking me out. When you couldn't see me, you sighed and muttered under your breath, "I wish I could talk to you like Yixing does. Why can't angels be convenient like that?"

You sat back against the headboard of your bed, dropping your head back against the wall in frustration. It went against the rules, but my former role had required me to have some contact with humans. I could whisper in your ear and hope that you could hear me, if only to help you gain some sense of spiritual awareness to prove that you weren't completely alone. I sat myself next to you on the bed, my body so close to the edge from the small size of it, and drew my face close. I whispered gently in your ear a simple sentence, "I am here," in your native tongue.

You jumped a little, startled by my suddenness, and looked again at me, this time more purposefully. You knew where I was. I touched your hand, wrapping my fingers around yours, and sang a song to you. I was quiet and not confident -- there were so many angels with better voices than my own -- but you closed your eyes and listened with a small smile on your lips. You fell asleep listening to me, unaware of my hand around yours, my wings as a blanket around your shoulders, or that my lips touched your cheek when I found you had drifted off to sleep.

We stayed like that the entire night, and when you woke up, you whispered my name and smiled.

I later told Kris what had happened that night and he shook his head mournfully. "You did exactly what I told you not to do.  You know the consequences."

I nodded and spoke quietly, "I'll write my resignation immediately."

Yixing, noticing the sad looks on our faces, piped up. "I guess we're losing the cute one."

You looked up at him, "Why do you say that?"

Your roommate said aloud the words that I had wanted not to hear: "Because he's in love with you."

Kris and I fell silent, watching you with expectation. You looked at Yixing with an expression I could not read. It was a mixture of emotions that had no human labels, and my insides were twisting into knots as I watched you.

The truth was in the world and I could no longer deny it.

"He's in love with me," you repeated very slowly. You swallowed and searched the room for me. I made no noise as I shrank into the armchair that I had found you sleeping in so long ago.

Yixing pointed to my location, and you looked straight at me. I couldn't tear my eyes away from you as much as I tried to, so I hid my face with my hands. "He's covering his face with his hands," said your roommate, betraying me.

You laughed and it broke my heart. "You don't have to hide.  It's okay. Everything falls in love. It's a natural thing."

"Angels don't," Yixing said, coming over to me and pulling my hands down. "I've got his hands pinned, so you can look right at him." He poked my cheek, "He's right here."

You in a deep breath before you spoke again. "Thank you," you said shyly, "for singing to me last night. You have a lovely voice. I'd never heard a song like that before. It was an angel's song, right?"

I nodded and Yixing told you that I nodded.

"I wanted to talk to you last night," you fidgeted and glanced away for a moment. "I was reading about angel stuff, just to know you better. I never believed in angels before I met Yixing or you." You laughed nervously, "Though I guess we've never really met. Not really. Not until last night, I guess. You have a gentle voice and you're warm, just as I thought an angel would be. You held my hand all night. I felt it."

My heart leapt into my throat and I tried to swallow it back into my chest. My wings twitched, remembering their time wrapped around your body. "You... could feel me?"

Yixing translated for you and you your lips when you nodded. "Your hand was holding mine and I think you had your wings around me. They tickled a little.  When you kissed me, I could make you out a little. You were fuzzy, but Yixing was right about your wings. They're very pretty."

My eyes stung with unwept tears when your roommate finally freed my hands. I wiped the tears away as quickly as I could. "Thank you," was all I could muster.

"He's crying," Yixing said, "but he's thankful. He said 'thank you' and he means it quite sincerely."

Your smile was so radiant when you heard those words, and you looked at me with shining eyes. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could meet you, even if it was for such a short time."

My tears wouldn't stop. Even now, I still can't tell if I was crying from happiness or from devastation. I suspect that it was a little of both.

It took time before I had written my formal resignation and sent it in. I still wrote letters for you, and now that you had become so aware of me, you asked Yixing and Kris to read them to you. I learned of it shortly after they started doing it. They were all dated and kept in order, which made it easy for them to read them to you. At the time, I was so focused on figuring out what to do with myself after leaving my guardian post that it was easy for me to ignore. Kris later told me that you looked so happy when they read them to you.

When I left, you watched me go with an awareness I had never seen from you before. I kissed you and I know you felt it. As I pulled my lips away from yours, you were crying, and it wounded me so much. Just as I had fallen in love with you, you had somehow fallen in love with me, too. This time, you didn't just ruin an angel, but you also ruined yourself. I ascended and Kris revealed when I saw him again that you had fallen into depression after they had run out of letters to read to you. You stopped smiling after I was gone and when all traces of me had disappeared, you hid yourself in your room. You couldn't believe that you had injured not just one angel, but two angels.

No angel wanted to be your guardian.

None but me, at least.

In Araboth, the Seventh Heaven, I waited to hear of what my fate would be. I doubted I would end up treated as kindly as young Sehun. Sehun knew his transgression and made amends immediately; I refused to acknowledge my transgression and acted upon it without any desire to repent. Angels are allowed to fall in love, but it is not an easy life for them.

Upon hearing of your fall into sadness and how no angel would give you another chance, I threw myself at the mercy of the Thrones and asked for them to let me be with you. They've considered my plea and told me to wait for an ultimate decision from the Highest. As I wait, I write you this letter. I wanted you, of all people, to know the whole story. You deserve to know everything.

And unlike the other letters, I wrote this so you could read it. I wanted you to feel it in your hands and see the characters written and understand my words. I wanted it to be tangible so you could keep it in my absence.

I'm sorry and I want you to forgive me.

-Xiu Min