“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” ― George MacDonald

They’ve always told to go with my instincts, but then they’ll also tell me it’s wrong.
They tell me that they’ll be there for me, but they always leave before dawn.
They always tell me they love me, but they won’t open the door until I’m gone.

It was raining today, and the weather was cooler despite the days of warmth they had received before. It was as if the storm brewing ahead was an omen, or a sign of how Joohee felt. “I’m sorry to see you go so soon” Nara embraces Joohee for a while before letting the smaller woman go.

“We’ve bothered you for far too long”

“Our doors will always be opened to you” Nara squeezes her shoulder

She reaches for the neatly packed dosirak lunch boxes Donggeun held in his hands and gave it to her “I’m not sure how long you’ll be travelling, but hopefully this shall sustain you till you reach your next destination”

It was still warm, and it smelt delightful but Joohee couldn’t accept it. “You’ve already done so much…”

“Until there’s world peace, I haven’t done anything”

The only thing she can do is graciously accept the package. “I’ll pay you back, when we reach Seoul again”

“What for?” Nara laughs “This?”

Joohee nods, only to have Nara click her tongue in dismay “I think you’re an amazing person Joohee, really, if I ever become a mother, I want to be one just like you”

Joohee can feel her jaw tighten and her fist clench, “You will be a great mother, truly.”Joohee doesn’t believe in much, but there’s some little spark that makes her believe that much about Kwon Nara.

“Thank you” they embrace one last time

“Good luck”

The train moves at a quick speed, like how sometimes time seems to fly by, but the watch on her wrist tells her otherwise. As they settled in for the long ride ahead, it was Joohee who suggested first to tour the train. The train was fairly new, there was no graffiti on the walls, and the glass sparkled under the sunlight. In the middle somewhere (Joohee assumes) there’s a cabin, filled with arcade games, and a little food bar. There’s a toilet a bit further in and the cabin after that was a even fancier dinning room. Still full from Nara’s lunch box, they had opted to spend a bit of time in the game room, at least that way Yooyoung would eventually tire herself out for the rest of the ride.

“Mum, what about this one” Yooyoung tugs Joohee along to the whack-a-mole booth

Joohee slips in a few coins and watches as the moles peep their heads out of the holes “Can’t you just hit the head with your hands?”

“That’s cheating Joohee, we wouldn’t want to send her the wrong message do we?” Minhyuk whispers

“I was just saying…” Joohee pouts a little and watches Yooyoung play first. She needs a bit of help, which Joohee doesn’t mind giving, except Joohee doesn’t like to play by the rules. She hits the plastic toy with her fist and pounds each of the moles to smithereens (almost anyway).

They get a high score and Joohee grins, “I wonder which honest child’s score you just beat by using your hands”

Joohee shrugs and Minhyuk just laughs at how childish she is. The old Joohee was beginning to shine through again; today her smile was a little brighter, and she was breathing a little easier. There was no more resistance, no more wasting energy on something so futile. This was the beginning of Joohee’s journey; this was the beginning of her acceptance.

They talk again when Yooyoug’s sleeping. It’s the only time where they don’t have to pretend that they’re adults who know all the answers to life’s questions. “How are you today?” he asks, fingers intertwined carefully with Yooyoung’s. She had wanted to sleep next to ‘ahjusshi’ – what a daddy’s girl she was.

“I’m ok – yourself?”

He smiles and nods, “Just about there – it’s good to finally get some alone time again” he stretches breathing in the countryside air “Do you remember how Ara and her boyfriend made us chase them on a midnight train out to the countryside?”

Joohee smiles at the memory “The idiots missed the train but we caught it instead, of course I do – they’re married now”

Minhyuk’s eyes widen, he looks like he’s about to fall over from holding his manic laughter from waking Yooyoung up. “Those two kids? Really?”

“They’ve really grown up you know” Joohee says defensively “He’s a CEO now, or vice, or something big like that – his father’s company you know, and well Ara runs her own café, it was always a dream of hers you know. Everyone’s always saying that her husband is so smart, so rich, why doesn’t she just close the store but Ara’s always been like that, head strong, stubborn and independent. They’ve both been so supportive of Yooyoung and I since…” Her sentence falls short and immediately the mood turns a bit somber

“Joohee, I wanted to talk to you about something…”

“About what?”

Minhyuk gulps

He fades in and out of consciousness.

It’s like a dream where every time he had opened his eyes, he was somewhere else.

In bed

In a car

Dragged by strangers

In an airport

In a new country

His father had figured it out, heard somewhere along the vines. Point being, a rumour had started, and in the business world even rumours were enough to cause a collapse. Don’t mix personal and business – they all say. He blames his father. His father took him, removed him from Korea where he could keep a closer eye on him. Moved him away from Korea so he couldn’t be with her.

“You had six years to find me…”

She had a point.

“Would it have had made you feel better?”

She shook her head “Yes”

“I wanted to run away, I wanted to come back and see you. But I knew that it would’ve been hopeless. What would you have had done if I came back empty handed? I had no money, no support, we would’ve been left on the streets…”

“I… was left on the streets” Joohee lets out a half hearted chuckle, “My parents left me alone when they found out, said that they didn’t need a daughter like me…”

“I’m sorry”

“I think I realized there are some people you can’t trust, even if we share the same genetic material and the same blood; even if they’ve been there for most of your life already. Then there are ones that will happily run to the ends of the earth with you, even if they have no obligations to. They’re the ones you can trust the most…”

“Am I someone you can trust?” 

The door between the cabins slides open quickly, slamming itself against the door stopper and making a terrible noise as the two shuffled into the cabin quietly. Their laughter was muffled and they tried to speak in soft whispers.

"Do you think he'll find us here?" she asks hopefully

"Hopefully he'll get off at the next stop" he replies

He whispers to her and presses his fingers against her lips to stop her from revealing their hiding spot. Unlucky for them everyone was already staring curiously, lucky for them that only meant Minhyuk and Joohee.

It was a case of déjà vu.