Annyeongie~ Aren’t I cute?

My name is Misoo. Kyung Misoo. Well, that’s what the nice nurse lady with the pretty brown hair says, anyways. I like that nurse a lot. She takes real good care of me and always dresses me up in pretty outfits, even when I try to resist her. I don’t like the other ones. They like to whisper and talk about bad things about me when I’m laying right in front of them, in this stupid bed that I’m only allowed to get out of during certain times of the day. They’re just jealous that they’re not cute like me.

They always say that I’m dangerous. They make me sad. Why am I dangerous? Why can’t I be normal? The nice nurse lady said that I’m a good girl. So why do they speak like I’m a monster?

Just yesterday I had tried to tell them that I’m a good girl. I just wanted to get the message through. Jeeez. But instead of listening to me they held down my punching arms and kicking legs.  Those mean nurses tied me to a really cold table. They flashed a really bright light into my eyes and whispered some really big words to each other.

Then I felt a sharp thing in my arm and I couldn’t remember anything after that.

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I woke up this morning and the nice nurse lady came to look after me. She gave me scrambled eggs and an muffin this morning, my favorite. Heehee, muffins. Isn’t that such a cute name? After eating she took me out of my tiny little room and led me down the hallway. I don’t like walking down the hallway. The lights sometimes flicker and it scares me a lot. When I get scared, I hide behind the nice nurse lady and she my hair. She tells me everything is okay but sometimes I don’t believe her.

She took me into the testing room. I don’t like this room. It makes me very uncomfortable. I already knew what she was going to do when she led me into the testing room. Just like always, she told me to sit in the velvet chair. I know it’s velvet because the nice nurse lady told me it was. I don’t like it. It irritates my skin and I get bad itchy red and pink bumps all over.

Just like always, the nice nurse lady told me to look at some pictures and identify the objects. She told me that I should be good at this, as always. She said that it should be easy for me because I used to be one of the smartest girls in all of Korea! This always made me very happy.

The last image she tested me with was a picture of that guy, as always. Something felt bad in my tummy and I think my breakfast wanted to escape my body. I don’t know what happened, but it all happened really fast and I didn’t feel too fresh afterwards. One second I was looking at his picture in my seat, and the next moment I was on top of the desk, tearing up that guy’s picture as if it was the thing I hated the most.

The nice nurse lady calmed me down by rubbing my shoulder and giving me a piece of candy. I like it when she does that, it makes me feel nice and all the uncomfortable feelings go away. She told me to wait in the chair and I watched as she shook her head sadly and wrote down something on her clipboard.

I asked her if something was wrong. She looked all frozen-uppy like she didn’t want to tell me the truth for one second and then she shook her head.

After that I skipped down the hall back to my room and climbed into bed. The nice nurse lady gave me a box of crayons and a nice, smooth piece of clean all-white paper to draw on. I don’t like the papers with lines on them; they make my drawings look ugly.

One of the mean nurses knocked on my door and asked if she could come in. I said no. She came in anyways. I hate her. Why did she not listen to me? I didn’t want her interrupting my drawing time. She said that I had a visitor that would be coming up soon, and then left the room. She started to whisper to another one of those mean nurses. I have very good hearing, and I’m proud of it. But I didn’t want to hear what they were whispering about. I didn’t want to, but it came into my ears anyways.

They were whispering about me.

“Why would such a guy visit this idiot? She’ll never return to normal.”

“She’s gone too deep of the edge. Insanity is eating up her brain slowly.”

“Even the drugs don’t work on her.”

I think I felt something weird going on in between my eyes. I rubbed them and discovered that my hand was wet, and some weird water was coming out of my eyes.

Tears?

"No!" I wanted to scream. "I'm the normal one. The rest of you are insane."

But I just couldn't do it.

I felt weird and uncomfortable. I didn’t want a visitor.

“NO! SIR, YOU CANNOT GO IN!”

I heard the screaming of the nice nurse lady. She had never spoken this loud to me before. She was always very quiet and gentle.

A man walked into the door and stood there, looking at me.

“Mi—“

After that was just a bunch of hazy red and white lights.

I don’t remember what was going on. I don’t know what took over me. A wild beast—a monster was unleashed.

I heard a lot of screaming. Someone tried to stick one of those sharp metal skinny things into my arm but I pushed them away. I think they went thud against the wall and slid to the floor. Oops.

When I felt normal again, I just saw a sticky red liquid on the linoleum flooring. I could hear really, really fast footsteps coming down the hallway, so I opened the window. But the window was barred. So I ran out of the room and collided against a doctor. The doctor tried to hold my arm and drag me somewhere. But someone taught me how to fight against boys.

“Just kick ‘em good in their goodies.”

And so I kicked him in his privates. Heehee. He released me for a moment, just enough time for me to get away and climb down the stairs. I didn’t take the elevator even though it’s really fast. Elevators scare me.

I think I scared the lady who sits at the front desk. She gasped real loud and started shouting. Some really big, bumpy-muscle guys in matching uniforms tried to catch me as I ran out the door but I just slipped under them and ran outside.

I’ve returned to my old house. Everything’s still just as I remembered it. It’s so much better here than in that stinky, white place that they sent me to.  I wouldn’t have had to go there if it wasn’t for that poop-face Kim Jaejoong. If he didn’t break my heart into a bunch of little pieces then they wouldn’t have to give me expensive shots and treat me like a little kid and stuff that I don’t like.

It’s all your fault, Kim Jaejoong. I was pushed into insanity by you.

Because I’m an innocent, cute Kyung Misoo. I can never do anything bad, or wrong.

Because I’m a good girl.

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This morning when I went out for a walk people stared at me strangely. What? Was it not normal to go outside in comfy pajamas? I never understood why girls wore high heels when it makes their feet hurt and molds their feet into nasty things that don’t look like feet. And why they wear makeup when it makes them age faster.

I saw something really funny when I went out for my walk.

My face was all over the place! Man, I think I’m famous!

It’s all vintage-y, in black-and-white with a big, bold, black border around my pretty picture. They even have my name and “wanted” in really big, bold, black letters. Wow, they must want me because I’m so famous now! I knew looking cute was a good thing. Then I saw a dollar sign with a number 1 and a lot of zeros after the one. Does that mean I’m number 1?

Oh!

Somebody just knocked on the door. I better go get tha—

Wait a second, some guys just came into my apartment without asking me. They destroyed the door! How rude! Hold on a second, I need to go teach them a good lesson. You do not just break down people’s doors like that.

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Heehee, Kyung Misoo is back.

I might have to re-paint the walls later, though.

It’s all red.