“What do you think?” Myungsoo stared at his best friend hoping the other boy would have the answer. It had been a few days since his friends found out about the entertainment company that wanted to sign him, and Myungsoo still hadn’t made a decision. It was too difficult.

Hoya chuckled, “I think I can’t make this decision for you.”

“You .” Myungsoo threw a pillow at the other. The two were currently in Hoya’s room, taking some time to catch up with each other. The two had never spent so much time with other friends before so they decided to take a day off from everyone else and hang out with only each other until Myungsoo had a show at night. And that’s how Myungsoo found himself on Hoya’s bed, staring at the other who was spinning around in his desk chair.

“You know you want it.” Hoya replied, all joking aside. “Don’t you remember when we were little watching Big Bang practice? You tried so hard to dance like them.”

Myungsoo laughed, knowing it was true. He knew his dad had video of him trying to keep up with Youngbae as the dancer worked on a solo. Myungsoo wasn’t a coordinated child to begin with, so his dance looked almost nothing like Big Bang’s smooth dancer did. But the look on his face made it clear he was trying his hardest.

“I’m afraid though.” Myungsoo admitted. He couldn’t really admit that in front of Woohyun and Sungyeol, though he wasn’t sure he could admit it to Sunggyu, either. He knew they’d be understanding, he never doubted that, but they weren’t Hoya. He was comfortable with Hoya, the other boy knew him like no one else ever could. He was his best friend.

“Afraid of what?” Hoya kept spinning around slowly, not changing the amount of interest he showed his friend. He didn’t stop spinning to lean towards Myungsoo or change his voice to a softer tone, he just continued the conversation like it wasn’t a big deal. And that was exactly what Myungsoo needed. He didn’t want to be babied during a situation like this. He wanted the cold, hard truth.

“What if I fail?” Myungsoo asked, not looking at his friend anymore. He preferred directing his attention to the ceiling. “What if I go out there and make a fool of myself? Lots of actors fail. I don’t want to be one of them it’d be so embarrassing and then Jinyoung would feel embarrassed and then I’d never find a job.”

“Wow, you’re stupid.” Hoya stated bluntly.

Myungsoo retorted by throwing a pillow at his now laughing friend again.

“Ok, ok, I get it. Serious talk.” Hoya took a deep breath, “Myung, all jokes aside, do you think they’d put you in a show they thought was gonna fail? If they want to make money, you’ve got to be cool and amazing. Plus, do you really want to live the rest of your life wondering if you could have been amazing? You can stay in school while you act if you want so you’ll have a backup if things don’t turn out perfectly. Then you can go back to your boring plan to be a boring salary man. Heck, who knows if they’ll even take you. Maybe they’ll see you in normal light and not want to sign you because they’ll see how ugly you really are.”

“Who are you trying to kid? I’m beautiful!” Myungsoo flipped his hair and laughed. He’d have liked to throw a pillow, but he already wasted all his ammunition except for the fluffy, light pillow under his head. “Hoya, how do you make everything sound so simple?”

“I’m a genius.” Hoya shrugged before getting off the chair and settling down next to Myungsoo on the bed. “Myung, you know I don’t like to tell you what to do. Sure, occasionally I push you towards things, but I’ve never forced you to do something I knew would turn out bad for you. But right now I want to throw you into that company. I know how much you’ve idolized your dad over the years, there’s no one who knows that as well as I do. I watch it happen and Myung, you’ve got to stop using excuses to hide from your life. It’s okay to be afraid, but you’ve been so afraid of everything ever since you were little and I know you use Jinyoung as an excuse to back out of lots of things that scare you. But you’ve got to try putting yourself out there. Heck, you have a boyfriend! Before this year I’d have never imagined that to happen. But we both know that if Jinyoung didn’t like him even if Sunggyu was the nicest person on earth, you would never talk to him again. And why? Because you let fear rule everything and take any excuse you can to get away from it.”

Myungsoo sighed, moving to rest his head on his friend’s shoulder. It was horrible how well his best friend knew him. “Speaking of Sunggyu, I don’t even know what he really feels about this.”

“I thought he was with Sungyeol and Woohyun when Jinyoung found the card?” Hoya was confused.

“He was, but he was so quiet,” Myungsoo hadn’t told anyone yet, but he felt like maybe his boyfriend didn’t want him to take the offer. “I think he said one or two things the whole conversation. Jinyoung said more and he was sleeping most of the time.”

“Well he’s normally pretty quiet,” Hoya tried to think of an excuse. “And Woohyun and Sungyeol are unusually loud.”

“I guess,” Myungsoo wasn’t so sure though. Sunggyu was always louder when Woohyun was around. It was like when Hoya was around Myungsoo. Best friend just had that effect. “I’m going to talk to him about it tonight after the show.”

And after the show, hours later, Myungsoo found himself in a café sitting across from his boyfriend, who was going on about some new band he liked. Myungsoo nodded along like he was listening, but he wasn’t. He had thoughts of being an actor swimming in his head.

“You’re not even listening, are you?” Sungyu asked, noticing the distant look in Myungsoo’s eyes. But since the younger wasn’t paying attention, he didn’t even notice the question. “Myungsoo!”

“Yes.” Myungsoo responded immediately.

Sunggyu chuckled, knowing he should be annoyed, but his boyfriend was just so adorable. “What’s on your mind?”

“Do you want me to be an actor?” Myungsoo asked directly. He was tired and just wanted to know all the information he could before making his decision. He needed a decision soon, always thinking about it gave him headaches.

“I want you to be happy, Myung,” Sunggyu leaned forward, both elbows on the table. “But what does it matter what I say? This is your decision, only you can make it. I don’t want to sway your decision either way.”

“You sound like Hoya. He was unhelpful, too.” Myungsoo crossed his arms on the table and buried his head in them. “Can’t someone just make the decision so this can be done?”

“Yes, someone can,” Sunggyu ruffled his boyfriend’s hair. “You can.”

Myungsoo looked up and saw the older smiling down at him. “You’re cute.”

Sunggyu scrunched his face at the sudden change of topic. Myungsoo was just so stubborn and indecisive. “Myungsoo, the only way you’ll not have to think about this is by making the decision. “

“I think I’ve known my answer all along.” Myungsoo admitted, resting his head on his arms again. “But what if it’s the wrong one?”

“You’ll never know until you try,” Sunggyu began running his fingers through Myungsoo’s soft hair, trying to calm the younger’s restless mind. “You’ve just got to take a leap and hope everything turns out for the best.”

“Gyu,” Myungsoo didn’t lift his head, he was enjoying the fingers running through his hair too much to disturb them. “Can you sing me a song?”

“Here?” Sunggyu looked around. Sure the café had no other customers, but the baristas were still there.

“Please?” Myungsoo asked quietly. He just needed something to calm him down since in his mind, he just made the biggest decision of his life.

”Okay.” Sunggyu gave in easily and began to sing quietly, hoping the baristas couldn’t hear him. He did his best not to think about them and focused on lulling Myungsoo into a short, peaceful nap.