I felt a warm light gently caress my face as I opened my eyes. The sun had already come up, showing it glorious self through the blinds. I didn't feel like moving myself out of bed, still shaken up from last night. I stared at the sun for quite a while, recalling a quote “Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.” I let one of my hands play with the sun rays, making them play upon my hand like the waves of the ocean. The world had its' own beauty, a beauty I almost forgot in the midst of my chaotic life. 

I heard a slight knocking on the door, not having the energy to utter a single word I laid in silence. The door slowly opened, letting a tender voice slip through the crack of it. '' Darling, it's time to wake up'' I heard my mom say, not knowing that I already was awake. I heard her steps move closer and closer as she then gently placed herself on the edge of my bed. I saw her in the corner of my eye, not letting her catch me looking. 

''Are you okay sweetheart? Did something happen?'' she asked, sounding sincerely worried. I was only able to utter one single word, a name she knew more than well '' Lay''. I felt her coming closer, letting her warm breath rest on the crinkle of my neck '' It's okay darling, it's okay. It will all be okay''. I felt her warm embrace, the sincereness of her caring words and the small drips of tears falling down the bridge of my nose again. She let her long delicate fingers wipe off my pain filled tears. 

'' You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see dear, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel'' she told me as she planted a delicate kiss on my forehead, holding my hand tightly. 

'' Will the pain ever subside, or is it everlasting mom?'' I asked choking on my tears.

'' Pain is a part of life, the great equation. It takes time to heal, but it's not impossible my love. But it's harder for the pain to subside when a love so powerful abruptly ends, not letting the involved ones say their last goodbyes.'' she answered. I bobbed my head in agreement.

I didn't get a closure and that's why it was so hard getting over him. To begin a new chapter in my life I had to end another, I knew that very well but I felt way to weak to face him now. I had so many things I wanted to say but that were left unsaid, so many things I wanted to express but that I couldn't. The time would come when I'd have to face all of these things, but it wasn't now. I just couldn't. 

Mom kissed my forehead once again '' Stay home today, rest as much as you need and call me anytime you want darling, I have to leave for work now '' she tenderly told me as she left the room only leaving a breeze of air in the place she had sat. 

I forced myself out of bed, into the bathroom. I started undressing myself, making myself ready for a quick shower. I entered the shower, the water and let the endless streams of water hit my face. I begged for the water to wash away my fears, my tears and my pain. But all my hopes were in vain, as always. 

I stepped out of the shower and dressed myself, going up to the mirror I slapped my face '' Get a grip of yourself'' I said, with a look of disgust over what I had become. A tormented soul, a shattered soul, a pathetic excuse for a human being. I really needed to stop being this way, I used to be a happy, bubbly and outgoing girl. Now I was something far away from that, I had become sheltered, depressed and a hot mess. Quite the opposite of how I used to be and I was so disappointed at myself.

I threw myself on the bed again, not bothering to go downstairs to eat since I didn't feel hungry at all. I reached for the remote control which had fell on the ground by the bed. I picked it up and the TV. Skimming through the channels, putting the volume on max in hopes of quieting my loud thoughts. I sat with a expressionless face looking at the TV but not really paying attention. 

'' Darling, I'm home now'' mom shouted from downstairs. I looked at the watch, wondering why she was so early. It stood on 6 pm, it was mind baffling. Had time passed by so quickly? I didn't seem to notice, it had gone from morning to night in a split second. I guess I must've spaced out again, not noticing the time passing by. 

'' Are you feeling better love?'' mom asked as she entered my room. 

'' Yes..'' I told her, with a smile on my face even though I wasn't. I just didn't want to worry nor bother her so I faked it, made it look like I was fine but deep down I was still a mess. 

'' That's good honey'' she said, sounding quite relieved as she leaned in and gave me a loving hug. 

'' I have something for you, it's a letter of some sort I think'' she said as she presented me a letter, it didn't say from who it was from but I had an idea of who it could be. 

'' Thank you, I'll read it later'' I said, not telling her about yesterdays letter.

'' Okay what ever you want, I'll be downstairs making some food for you and me'' she said as she left the room.

 '' Thank you mom'' I replied. I was glad that she'd cook something because I was actually starving. I hadn't eaten a thing today so I felt relieved that she'd fix something up.

I crawled out of bed, walking towards the door. Locking it, making sure no one could enter. I went back to my bed, where the letter rested. I stared at it for quite some time, I was unsure if I wanted to open it. I wasn't stabile enough to open it but the curiosity was driving me crazy. I knew that opening this letter could make me break down again, but to what use would it be if I didn't open it? I had to see, I had to read. I sat down on the edge of the bed, picking up the letter with trembling hands. I took a deep breath before opening it. I slowly opened it, stopping halfway. I needed to take a deep breath again, I was really on the verge of losing my sanity. I had to continue, I just had to. I stopped fearing the consequences and ripped it open. I gently took out the letter and it read ;

Meet Me Halfway

I'm writing you a letter again, as I promised to show you how much you really mean to me. I want you back, but I understand if you don't want me back. As much as it breaks my heart I know that the possibility of you not wanting me back is huge but know this , I love you with every thing I have, I love you with every breath I take....I just love you. You know I hadn't uttered those three words to anyone except for you. All I'm asking for is to see you, just one more time. I'm not expecting you to come back to me, I know I'm not worthy of your love for I have sinned. I crushed the heart of the one I truly loved and I have to deal with the consequences of my choices. All I'm asking for is just to see you one last time, to get that well needed closure. 

If you still love me, and I know deep down in my heart you do you'll meet me halfway. Do you remember the day we shared our first kiss? The way the warm breeze of air played upon your hair as I leaned in, in awe of your beauty and kissed you. The way the waves of the ocean could be heard crashing onto the shore, letting its sound linger as I told you ''I love you''. 

I'll wait for you there on that exact spot, tomorrow at 7 PM. If you really love me which I know you do you'll meet me there , one last time to give your last goodbye. I'll be waiting for you, my love.

Yours sincerely