"Have you told Jiyong about .." Chaerin's Dad left his question hanging. His daughter sighed.

"No, appa, I just don't know how to break it to him. Plus, he's going through a rough period now .. with the recent loss of his umma," Chaerin's voice came out strangled as she struggled to control her tears.

"What are you going to do now?" Her Dad asked as he closed the morning newspaper, peering into his only daughter's eyes gently behind his reading glasses. "Are you going to leave like that without saying goodbye?"

Chaerin shook her head quickly.

"I can't. I can't do that to him. I can't .. It's so complicated because his umma's death is unexpected .. I know I'll hurt him even more now .."

Her Dad got up to give her a comforting hug.

"I know it's hard, but we both know you really want to earn that degree .. If Korea offers the degree here, I myself wouldn't want you to be separated from him .. I know part of you wants to stay, but my daughter, if you stay, you're sacrificing your own dreams. Is that what you really want for your future? Having the chance grasped in your hand but you had to let it slip by? I don't want you to regret it," he said, his voice trembling. 

Chaerin cried when she heard her Dad's words. However, her decision was made.

"I'll have to go, appa, I can't waste this opportunity. Maybe .. maybe my relationship wasn't meant to last," she said bravely, but her lower lip trembled as she ran up the stairs to her room. Her Dad watched her go. I'm sorry I can't do anything to make you have both of the things you love at once. 

*

Two weeks later, Chaerin & Jiyong met up at the park nearby. Chaerin asked for a meetup because it was the last time she'll be seeing him. Jiyong was still a mess. His eyes were puffy and his face showed grief. Chaerin found him on the swings, staring absent-mindedly at the trees. Putting on a brave face, she lightly jogged to him.

"Annyeong," she greeted. Jiyong looked up at her. For an instant, his sad eyes lit up and turned into the usual; soft and playful. However, it faded away instantly. Chaerin noticed but didn't say anything. Instead, she sat on one of the swings and began swinging.

For a while, they just sat in silence, swinging back and forth. It's the kind of silence that wasn't awkward, but both felt appreciated by the other's presence. Finally, Jiyong spoke.

"I just can't believe she's gone .. I didn't even get to say 'I love you' to her," he hung his head and felt his heart being squeezed tightly. Chaerin stopped swinging and walked over to Jiyong, who had buried his head in his arms. Gently, she patted his back.

"I know it's hard, oppa, but she will always be in your heart. I'm sure umma doesn't want her son to grieve over her for the rest of his life. She wants her son to be happy, healthy and successful," she consoled him. After wiping away his tears, he looked into her eyes and smiled a watery smile.

"I don't know what I'll do without you."

Chaerin felt her heart clench. Her body and facial expression must've stiffened, for Jiyong faltered.

"D-did I say something wrong?"

Chaerin was stuck between telling Jiyong the truth now or keep him in the dark for a little while more. Guilt was weighing her heart down. Contemplating .. contemplating .. 

"Chaerin?" Jiyong stood up and held her hands. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I .." Chaerin sputtered. This wasn't how she wanted to break it to Jiyong.

"Chaerin?" Jiyong asked again, but he felt a sense of panic now.

"Oppa, I .. I'm leaving," Chaerin finally mustered up her courage and said those words out in a rush, avoiding his stunned gaze.

There was a stunned silence. Then, Jiyong laughed in disbelief.

"I don't understand."

"I was offered to take a degree in France. Korea doesn't offer this degree. I .. I'll be there for 10 years. I'm sorry oppa, but that degree is one step away from achieving my dreams. I'll be leaving tomorrow," Chaerin spoke quietly. 

"You're joking. You're joking, right?" Jiyong laughed again, but seeing Chaerin's downcast expression, his grin faded.

"I'll go with you," he said.

"You can't. What I'm pursuing for is not your interest-"

"Anything is my interest, as long as I'm with you."

"You can't, please-"

"Why not?! You can't leave me, Chaerin! You know how much I love you! I can't stay away from you for 10 years!" Jiyong yelled.

Chaerin looked frightened.

"Oppa-"

"Tell me why I can't follow you," he growled as he pinned her hands with his. "TELL ME!"

"Because the school I'll be enrolled in is an all-girls school!" Chaerin cried out, tears falling freely down her cheeks now. Jiyong scoffed.

"So what?! I can enrol in another school!" Jiyong snorted.

"And leave the career you just started here? Don't be ridiculous. It's not about me, it's about you! Don't waste your life away because of me!"

"My life is wasted without you," he twisted her words around. Chaerin was crying now.

"Please don't make things complicated," she pleaded.

"No .. you're the one who's making things complicated by not allowing me to go with you," he spoke rather harshly. Chaerin couldn't stand it anymore.

"Don't you get it?! YOU CAN'T COME!" She screamed and pushed him away before running away. But Jiyong wouldn't give up on her yet. In three seconds, he caught up with her and pulled her by her waist, forcing her to turn around. 

"Why? Why can't I come?" he asked stubbornly.

"You wouldn't be happy, oppa. Believe me," Chaerin answered wearily.

"What makes you think that I won't be happy?"

"If you come with me, you're giving up your passion. You're destroying your life. Please trust me."

"So you're gonna leave me when I need you most, huh?! 6 years! We've been together for 6 years! You're just gonna throw what we built away?!" He yelled again, anger and pain evident in his voice. 

"I don't have a choice-" Chaerin's sentence was cut off when a pair of lips crashed against hers. Jiyong gripped her hands and kissed her roughly. Chaerin was running out of air as she struggled in his grasp. Gathering her last bit of strength, she managed to push him away, gasping for breath, tears streaming down her face. He glared at her, breathing heavily. Then, his eyes softened. They were almost pleading.

"Please don't leave me," he begged. 

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, rubbing her sore arms. This time, Jiyong caressed her tear-stained cheeks with his index finger.

"Don't you love me?" He murmured, gazing into her eyes. He felt so numb. First, he lost his mother. Now, he was going to lose the one he loved.

"I do love you .. you know I do," her delicate fingers caught his index finger.

"If you love me, stay," he commanded. Part of him felt selfish but he really couldn't live without her.

"We were never meant to last. I'm sorry, oppa. If fate allows, we'll meet again after 10 years. I wish you all the happiness and success in the world. If fate doesn't allow .. I .. I have something for you," she took out a dragon pendant and slipped it into his hands, closing them tightly, "for you to remember me. You will always be in my heart. It's best we don't see each other at the airport. Goodbye oppa," she whispered, her voice breaking. As she turned to walk away ..

"Lee Chaerin!" Jiyong shouted and she turned, startled. Suddenly, he ran up to her and hugged her tightly, inhaling her scent for the last time. Chaerin cried on his shoulder as she hugged back.

"Promise me you won't hurt yourself. Promise me you'll continue your career. Please promise me you'll be happy," she pleaded. Jiyong nodded. Then, he removed his blazer.

"For you to remember me," he said quietly, ing it into her open arms. She took it and cradled it against her chest. Then, she turned back and finally walked away, carrying the weight of guilt on her shoulders. Fighting tears, she did not look back once, leaving Jiyong standing alone, hopelessly staring at her silhoutte, already feeling that his life was meaningless and empty.

*

(ADDITIONAL PORTION)

10 years later ..

Chaerin & her Dad were seen walking out of Terminal 2 with their luggage. She was wearing Jiyong's blazer. She smiled. It's good to be home. She took out her phone & dialled Jiyong's number. Hopefully he didn't change his number. To her dismay, she was told by the service operator that his number was no longer in use. Then, another thought occured to her. I can contact one of his friends! Let's see .. Seungri-sshi?

And so she called Seungri, & she smiled when he picked up the call.

"Annyeong?"

"Hey ~" Chaerin chirped into the phone. 

There was a brief pause.

"May I know who you are?"

"Aye, how can you forget me so easily?" Chaerin pretended to sulk. Then, it dawned on Seungri.

"Yah! Lee Chaerin noona!" He shouted out happily. "Oh my gosh! You were gone for so long I .. Woah! We have to meet up!" Seungri took a step ahead of her & Chaerin smiled. She liked how Seungri takes care of his friends.

"So .. the cafe across our high school?" Chaerin suggested.

"I'll be there in 5," Seungri promised before ending the call.

*

"Noona!" Seungri beamed when he saw her, got up and approached her with a warm hug. "You've become prettier!"

"And you've become more handsome too," Chaerin teased. Seungri helped her carry her luggage and led her to the table he was sitting at and ordered the drinks. After catching up for a while, Chaerin decided to ask about Jiyong.

"Did you keep in touch with Jiyong oppa? I couldn't contact him just now. You must've had his new number right?" Chaerin looked at Seungri expectantly. She was, however, surprised when Seungri's face fell. He looked down and began playing with his fingers. Chaerin was confused but she kept quiet, until Seungri spoke again.

"Tell you what, I'll bring you to visit him," he finally said. Chaerin smiled and nodded.

*

"Are you sure we're going in the right direction?" Chaerin asked. Seungri didn't answer. He made a left turn to the cemetery.

"Yah, Seungri-ah, are you sure this is where Jiyong oppa lives?" Chaerin frowned, staring at him. 

"Trust me, noona," he said quietly. He made some turns, came across many humps, and finally pulled to a stop. It was 6 in the evening. Chaerin got out, feeling something was amiss.

"Seungri-" she began but one look from him silenced her. Instead, he held out his hand. She looked at it.

"Trust me, noona," he repeated again. Bewildered, she simply took his hand and he began leading her from one grave to another. After walking for about 5 minutes, he stopped. He looked at her, the sadness and pain in his eyes evident. Blinking back tears, he pointed to the grave in front of him.

Kwon Jiyong. 
Returned to the heavens on 19 November 2006.

With a jolt, Chaerin realised that the date engraved on the tomb was the day she left for France. She stared from Seungri to the grave, her eyes wild.

"Wha-what's this? What's going on?" She asked with wild eyes. A tear fell from Seungri's eye.

"He couldn't bear with it. After you left, he resorted to drinking. Somehow he managed to find his way to my house. He must've drank a lot of bottles. I tried to console him, but he didn't listen to me. He said the people whom he love left him and he's now alone. I told him it wasn't true. I told him he still had me. He still had his close friends. He .. he got angry. Struck a bottle at me but luckily I ducked. Then .. he ran out of my apartment. And .. he got .. he got hit by an incoming car," Seungri broke off as his body trembled with grief. 

Chaerin's lower lip trembled and her eyes grew watery.

"I called the ambulance. I was frightened. I kept shouting 'Stay with me, hyung!'. He was breathing heavily. Then, he pushed something into my hand. He said 'Give it to her when she comes back,' before he .." Seungri was unable to continue. By then, Chaerin had her hand over and tears were falling fast. She looked at the tomb, unable to believe the truth. Slowly, she reached out and the cold, rough stone. 

"It's my fault," she said shakily. "Seungri, it's MY FAULT!" She yelled and pounded the stone with her fist as she cried her heart out. What good was it that she had earned her degree, pursued to getting a master's and being a professional in her career if the one she loved was not by her side?! She continued pounding her fist till it bled.

Seungri hastily grabbed her fist.

"Noona, don't blame yourself. Noona .." he comforted her as she cried into his shoulder.

"Seungri .." she sobbed until she was completely drained out. They stood there until Seungri gently said they had to leave or else they would be locked in. She took one last sad look at the grave. Mianhae oppa. It's my fault. It's all my fault. If I had brought you along, this wouldn't have happened. If I didn't leave, this wouldn't have happened. Mianhae. Mianhae. Mianhae. Please forgive me.

While driving Chaerin back to her house, Seungri glanced at her every few seconds, worried. Chaerin was staring blankly out the window, too preoccupied with her thoughts till she didn't realise that they had reached. Seungri helped to carry her luggage and walked her to her doorstep. 

"Noona, please don't blame yourself," he began. Chaerin nodded but her eyes were glassy. Seungri made her face him and looked directly into her eyes.

"I'm here by your side, noona. You're not suffering alone. All of us, my hyungs, Young Bae, Seung Hyun, Daesung, they're all suffering too. We will help you ease your suffering, so please don't hurt yourself. I beg you," he pleaded. Chaerin nodded again, but there was a little life in her eyes. Finally, before Seungri left, he fished out something from his wallet.

"I carried this with me everyday, wondering when you'll return. Now that you're back, I am a little relieved because I kept my promise to Jiyong hyung," he said, pushing something that is wrapped neatly with cloth. Chaerin opened it, and tears fell from her eyes again. It was the dragon pendant she had given Jiyong, and there were dried stains of blood. 

"Seungri .." she called weakly. He turned.

"Please don't leave me alone," she pleaded. Seungri gave her another hug.

"I'm here for you noona. We all are," he spoke in behalf of his other friends. Then, he drove off. 

The door opened and Chaerin's Dad smiled, but his smile faded in an instant when he saw his daughter broken.

"What happened?" He asked urgently.

She looked at him, her eyes older, darker, blank, and full of pain. She held out the dragon pendant.

"Jiyong oppa's dead."

*