December 21^st, 2011.

Yesung was in his room, spending the day packing his suitcase. He was full of nerves and happiness as he packed each item in his suitcase. He hasn’t been this nervous to go somewhere before. As he packed, he saw a piece of crunched up paper fall out of his back pack. He titled his head and picked it up. “What’s this?” he asked. He un-wrapped the paper and saw a whole bunch of words. He read the words carefully and realised it was the song he hadn’t finished writing. “This was supposed to be for Donghae.” He mumbled through clenched teeth. He leaned against his bed and sang the lyrics out loud.

Oneuldo nae gieogeul ttarahemaeda
I gil kkeuteseo seoseongineun na
Dasin bol sudo eomneun niga nareul butjaba
Naneun tto i gireul mutneunda

Neol bogo sipdago
Tto ango sipdago
Jeo haneulbomyeo gidohaneun nal

Niga animyeon andwae
Neo eobsin nan andwae
Na ireoke haru handareul tto illyeoneul
Na apado joha
Nae mam dachyeodo joha nan
Geurae nan neo hanaman saranghanikka

He sighed and ruffled his hair. “It’s not finished.” He put the paper on the bed and got up and got a pen from his desk. He went back and sat down and continued to write. He hadn’t put music to the song yet but he knew how the song was going to be. It was going to be a slow song. After spending hours on the song, he finally finished. He got up and stretched. He looked at the clock and saw that it was still quite early. An idea popped into Yesung’s head and he smirked. “I might as well record this song to make the day go by.” He said to himself. He put on his jacket and shoes. He put the lyrics into his pocket and walked out of the apartment.

“Well, he isn’t answering his phone.” Zhou Mi sighed. Henry groaned. “Where is he? Did he forget that lessons go on for another week?” Henry asked. Zhou Mi shrugged. “Wait, he didn’t leave without saying goodbye did he?” Henry asked. Zhou Mi’s face turned from worried to sad. “We did get angry at him for deciding to leave us.” Zhou Mi muttered. Henry ruffled his hair. “That was in October, Zhou Mi!” Henry yelled. Henry sighed. He grabbed his back and put it on his shoulders. “I’m ditching to find Yesung.” He said. “Are you coming?” Zhou Mi pouted and then nodded. “Yeah, I’ll come.” The two of them walked out of the university entrance and went to go look for Yesung.

“Niga animyeon andwae” Yesung sang into the microphone. He had the lyrics set right in front of him as he sang. “Neo eobsin nan andwae. Na ireoke haru handareul tto illyeoneul” He felt happy to be recording a song that he wrote nearly three years ago. As he sang, he began to feel dejected as Donghae’s face filled his mind. It’s been so long since he last spoke to him and saw him. He took his headphones off and walked out of the booth and sat on the chair. He let out a big sigh and leaned back on the chair. “At least I’ll be going back to Korea next week.” He sighed. He heard thumps on the door and it caught his attention. He got up from his chair and walked to the door. He opened it and saw that Henry and Zhou Mi were standing right in front of him. “There you are.” Henry said as he walked inside, Zhou Mi following. “What were you doing here in the first place?” Zhou Mi asked. Yesung sighed. “I’m recording a song that I wrote three years ago, when I was still in Korea… and when Donghae and I were still dating.” Yesung explained. Henry and Zhou Mi nodded. “Can we listen to the song?” Yesung nodded and pressed play.

Donghae sat at his computer and yawned. He so badly wanted to talk to Yesung but something inside of him just couldn’t tell him how much he loved and missed him. He opened up Notepad and proceeded to write the message he wanted to send to Yesung. Hey Yesung… it’s me, Donghae – you know, your ex-boyfriend? How has it been in China? It’s sudden of me to suddenly write to you, isn’t it? I know we haven’t really spoken at all for a while. I have tried to move on with my life many times during the time we haven’t seen each other and it’s driving me crazy. I haven’t been talking to you at all for the past year now and to be honest, it has made me feel like complete crap. I tried going into new relationships with other people but it’s just not the same. You were the only one who made me happy in our relationships. You were the only person who I trusted with my life. You were the one who made me so happy. I thought Eunhyuk would be different but he wasn’t. He couldn’t match up to the standards I have. I sang ‘you are my everything’ to him in October and he said he didn’t like it. Remember when I sang it to you? I remember seeing you so happy after I sang it. I remember everything that we did together. Not once did you leave my mind. I’m so sorry for breaking up and being so mean to you. I knew I should not have done it and now I know how heartbroken you are. That reply I sent to you after you asked if I missed you or not … well, I lied… about everything in that reply. I finally realized how rude and idiotic I was back then when I wrote that letter. I felt like such a and there were times where I felt like I didn’t need you but now, I need you … a lot. Yesung, please come back so we can love each other again. From your fishy. Donghae sighed once he finished it. He copied and pasted it onto the chat box. He swallowed before he pressed send. He closed his eyes and pressed send.

He slowly opened his eyes and saw that the message was published. His heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to see Yesung’s reply. He sighed. “There is no going back now, Donghae.” He mumbled to himself. He closed his eyes and he saw the replay of when Eunhyuk confessed to him. "I have high expectations in relationships. Eunhyuk, you're special to me ... I need to tell you that ... when I wasn't with Yesung, I thought I liked you ... which I did ... this is hard." Donghae tried explaining. "You used to like me before you were with Yesung?" Eunhyuk asked. Donghae nodded. "But ... I feel like my heart, in some way, still belongs to Yesung." Donghae finished. "But you were the one who broke up with him ... you can't say you still feel the same way for him." Eunhyuk said. Donghae sighed. "I know I broke up with and I act like I'm over but I still think about him ... a lot." Eunhyuk got up from the couch. "I'll let you think about it." He said, leaving the house. Donghae looked at him. "Eunhyuk, wait!" Donghae said. Eunhyuk turned around. "Donghae ran up to Eunhyuk and kissed him."Just because I still think about Yesung ... doesn't mean I still love him." Donghae opened his eyes and sighed. “I feel stupid.” He mumbled, putting his hands through his hair. He closed his laptop. “I think I might rest to get my mind off of this.” He said. Donghae lied down on his bed and closed his eyes.

Henry and Zhou Mi finished listening to Yesung’s song. The room was silent. “So… what did you think of it?” Yesung asked, afraid of what their reactions will be like. Henry cleared his throat and Zhou Mi nodded. “I liked it.” Zhou Mi commented. Henry nodded. “Yeah, the lyrics were interesting.” He said. Yesung sniffled and nodded. “Thanks for the comments guys.” He thanked. Yesung let out a big sigh. Henry and Zhou Mi looked at him. “What is it Yesung?” Zhou Mi asked. Yesung bit his lip. “Remember how I was going back to Korea?” he asked. Henry and Zhou Mi nodded. “Well… I’m leaving next week.” Yesung announced. Henry and Zhou Mi were shocked. Henry stood up. “All of my best friends leave me!!” he yelled and smashed the chair on the floor then stormed out of the studio. Yesung was shocked at Henry’s sudden outburst. “Is Henry okay?” Yesung asked. Zhou Mi shook his head. “He isn’t.” he mumbled. Yesung looked at Zhou Mi. “Do you know why he was suddenly like that?” Yesung asked, sounding like his voice was disappearing. Zhou Mi swallowed. “I’ll explain.”

“Back in 2003, Henry had this best friend named Amber Liu. They had so much in common; you could almost say they were long lost brother and sister. They did everything and anything together. They went to the same school and university. They learned English together and the both of them would have English conversations all the time. They always did performances in front of our families. Every time the two of them went out together, people would often mistake them for being a couple. They would always say they were just friends but people saw right through them. I found it quite cute how they would choose to say that. Then in 2005, Henry’s parents got this letter in the mail. It was from Amber. The letter said that her family was forced to move to America to take care of their grandfather. His parents were afraid to give it to him so they decided to hide it. They hid it well for three days until Henry found it. He grew curious and read it. Once Henry read it, he decided to rip up the letter. During the last three months of 2005 and first four months of 2006, he changed. He never went to school, he thought of suicide, he went to jail because he stole numerous from stores and he grew too skinny by skipping out on meals. Cutting himself was Henry’s only option to suicide and he attempted it numerous times. Every week, there would be a new scar. It hurt his family and me because we never knew how we could help him, so his mother sent him to a healing camp and when he came back, he was fine. He gained weight; he was a happier person. Everyone was happy with the way he recovered. He has been well recovered ever since. Just don’t mention it around him; he hates it when you bring it up.” Yesung was left speechless. He never knew this about Henry. He cleared his throat and stood up. “I’m going to get some air.” He said as he approached the door. “Don’t tell Henry I told you this.” Yesung nodded and walked out of the room.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yesung asked as he approached him. Henry looked at him. “Tell you what?” he asked. “About that letter.” Yesung said. Henry’s eyes widened. “How did you find out about it?” he asked. “Zhou Mi just told me… is it true?” Yesung asked. Henry nodded. “It is… and you know what? I hate myself for being her best friend and for putting my family into traumatic stress.” Henry confessed. He punched a wall and sighed. “Are you-“”She was the one who left without a goodbye. I have nothing left of her. Everything I loved about her, everything she gave me, it’s all gone. I threw them all out. I didn’t want anything to do with her.” Henry explained. Yesung stayed silent. “I know how you feel.” Yesung mumbled. Henry looked at Yesung. “When I had to leave Donghae, it was so hard for me and him-“”but you still have everything to remind you of him.” Henry said. Yesung shook his head. “I don’t. The only thing I have of him is this stupid song – the song that was dedicated to him.” Henry went up to Yesung and hugged him. “I just have one question… when you go back to Korea… will you come back to China to visit us?” Henry asked. Yesung nodded. “You guys are like a second family to me. Of course I’ll come back and visit.” He laughed a little. Henry pulled away from the hug. Yesung went back inside and collected his CD. “I’m going to head back home now. I’ll see you guys later.” Yesung said as he went away. Henry and Zhou Mi waved.

After Yesung finished his dinner, he went on his computer and logged onto Skype. He saw that he had one new message. He clicked on it and saw that it was from Donghae. “What?” he mumbled surprised. He proceeded to read the message. As he read each word, his heart began to hurt more and more. I have tried to move on with my life many times during the time we haven’t seen each other and it’s driving me crazy. “It’s driving me crazy too.” He whispered as he touched the screen. You were the only one who made me happy in our relationships. You were the only person who I trusted with my life. You were the one who made me so happy. He began to cry. I thought Eunhyuk would be different but he wasn’t. He couldn’t match up to the standards I have. Yesung’s heart throbbed. “He went out with Eunhyuk?” he asked, feeling more tears fall down his cheek. I sang ‘you are my everything’ to him in October and he said he didn’t like it. Remember when I sang it to you? I remember seeing you so happy after I sang it. Yesung tried to be strong but he just couldn’t. “He sang our song to Eunhyuk?” he asked. His fist tightened. I remember everything that we did together. Not once did you leave my mind. “You never left my mind either.” He mumbled. I’m so sorry for breaking up and being so mean to you. I knew I should not have done it and now I know how heartbroken you are. His heart continued to throb. That reply I sent to you after you asked if I missed you or not … well, I lied… about everything in that reply. I finally realized how rude and idiotic I was back then when I wrote that letter. Yesung’s eyes widened. “It was all a lie?” he asked. I felt like such a and there were times where I felt like I didn’t need you but now, I need you … a lot. Yesung, please come back so we can love each other again. From your fishy. Yesung felt his whole world crash. He never expected for Donghae to be so honest to him in an internet message. He was shocked. He didn’t know how to reply. He continued to stare at the message. “I’ll see you in a week.” 

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enjoy the long chapter ^o^