Chapter 5
I Do Love You
On the way back home, he felt how lucky he was to drive himself home, rather than taking Peniel's offer to take him home.
Still, he wasn't sure if he could drive himself. He was halfway home when he made a U-Turn and drove himself to some woods he often goes when he needs space.
He parked his car at the edge of the forest and went out of his car, tears b in his eyes.
He felt weak. He felt nauseated. He wanted to cry and leave everything else behind. He wanted to kill himself. Jump of a cliff, and die.
'Is getting to be happy hard? It didn't work with Peniel, so why didn't it work with Myungsoo? I love him all my life and I only get broken by him. Is asking to be happy too much?' He let himself fall on the grass. Though it was the afternoon, and the sun was shining brightly, the forest didn't feel at all hot. Not even close to warm. It was col and damp. The forest was dark, only a few glimpse of sunlight through some holes in the trees.
' I had never loved anyone like I love Myungsoo. He was my first love. I don't care if Peniel is back. I've moved on. But not Myungsoo. First love.' He scoffed. ' How am I going to get over Myungsoo?! ARGGGHHH!!!' He screamed, didn't even care to wipe the tears on the sides of his face.
'I'm going crazy, thinking all those sweet times he and I shared together was a joke. why does falling in love's gotta be this hard?'
Sungyeol feels his head swirls. All there was on his mind was Myungsoo. Not another thing else. The way Myungsoo smiled at him, held his hands, cracked jokes, everything. Everything about the boy was too special for Sungyeol to swallow that the boy was no longer his.
He got up, slowly with the help of the tree beside him as support. He walked slowly down the rocky sloped and went inseide his car. He felt like he could never stop crying. Though he could, but he felt like he can't. If Peniel was hard, what would it make Myungsoo?
He slumped himself in his seat and closed the door slowly. The collar of his school uniform was wet with tears by the time he reached home. Whenever, he passes some park, he would immediately cry harder, thinking about the one at school. Containing himself was hard. he would come across some couples on the sidewalks and would start to sob miserabally. At one point he felt like he wanted to drive home with his eyes closed.
'Is playing with my feelings fun?! Why do they do the same thing?!' he screamed at the wheel, but managed to control his anger. As soon as he reached home, he dashed inside his room and cried again. The maids would once in a while ask him to eat downstairs, but he would refuse. His room was a mess with all the things on the floor. He threw everything on his table aside. He felt like blacking out, but managed to control himself.
There was a knock on his door. Sungyeol was furious. ' I TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO EAT! CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!' He yelled to the door, presuming it was his maid. His voice cracked, a result of his non-stop crying.
'Oh, hyung...' Sungjog says simphatically and quickly hugged Sungyeol as he pushed the door open. he's going through these hard times again.
As shocked as Sungyeol was, he continued to sob in Sungjong's embrace.
'Gwenchana. I'll be here. Don't cry.' Sungjong coaxed the latter. He tried not to cry and be strong for his hyung.
'I love him Jongie. And it hurts to be played by two person in a row. Even if I didn't love Peniel as much as I love myungsoo, it was hell getting over him. It took me so long to move on. And I don't really think i've moved on him. He's still my weakness. It hurts to love Myungsoo so much. I could go insane just to think about it.' Sungyeol kept the oxygen in and out of his lungs, still having insanity. For a second he forgot how to breath.
'You know how much he means to me more than anyone else. You know about me and him. I got the chance to love him again, after what happened. It was MY birthday when it happened, and now I lost him, again, on HIS. It's just, too much. I need him. And you know that.' Hyung is talking about the past now. I thought he was over with it.
'Don't cry like this, hyung. I don't like seing you miserable like this. You're hurting me hyung. I know it hurts but you can't continue being like this.'Sungjong sungyeol's back. Sungyeol's tears had damped the pillows, not to mention Sungjong's t-shirt.
'Hyung, you didn't eat anything today. i'll ask the maids to cook something for you, arasso?' Sungjong said when Sungyeol calmed dwn. The latter shook his head, staring at empty ceiling.
'Come on, hyung, You gotta eat. i don't want you to get sick. Jebal...' Sungyeol said nothing and Sungjong took this as a yes. he trotted down the stairs and asked for a bowl of porridge for Sungyeol. She nodded and said she would would bring it upstairs in a few minutes.
'Sungjong...'
'Nae, harmoni?' Sungjong turned around when he was called by an old maid he knew since he was little.
'Did he break up again?'
'Nae, he did.'
She shook her head in sympathy. 'Could you help me?'
'Of course. You don't need to ask, really. I see you as my own grandma now.' True . This maid of the Lee's has been here from the time Sungyeol was born.
'Could you plese help the poor boy find someone who really cares for him? He fell in love with wrong people and I don't like to see him suffer like that. It had been too much, last time.' Sungjong nodded and excuses himself upstairs. When he got to Sungyeol's room, the boy was lying down, his back facing the door. But Sungjong could tell he's crying. Still.
Decided that telling Sungyeol to stop crying is waste of time, he left Sungyeol to cry. In the mean time, he picked up the broken frames and things on the floor. Soon enough, Sungyeol's room was visibly clean. A knock came by the door and the maid placed the porridge on Sungueol's table.
'Komawo.' Sungjong as the maid bowed to him.
'Hyung. Eat some. I asked the maid to make you porridge. You have to eat some. You can't just quit life just like that.' He held Sungyeol's shoulder. the other was crying softly, but he Sungjong could feel how hurt he was.
' I can't Sungjong. It's too much. I don't know what to do.' He mumbled. his breathing was heavy, as if he was suffocating. Though, he was. in his own feeling.
'Why does the world seems to be so unfair to me now.' His pillow was wet, and he felt weak. Too weak, he felt he didn't have the strength to shed one more drop of tear at the time. But the tears won't stop. it made him weaker, as if his body wants to just make him weak and let him rest, eternally.
'Just leave it there. I want to sleep.' he pulled up his mattress to chest level.
'Promise me you'll eat, okay?' Sungjong received a nod before he left Sungyeol in the room to sleep.
On his way home, Sungjong dialled Myungsoo's number.
'Yobosaeyo?'
'Myungsoo. It's Sungjong.'
'Oh wae? Is something wrong?'
'Yes, Something is really wrong with Sungyeol hyung. He's gotten worse. i can't bear to watch anymore. I'm scared he would do something stupid. Please just do something.'
'Does he want me back? i mean, despite all that he says, will he be able to accept me after what I did? Won't he push me away?'
There was silence at both lines. Sungjong couldn't answer Myungsoo. Myungsoo couldn't do anything.
'I'll have to regain his trust. but it'll take time. Even I can't stand his condition just by the way you describe it. And I haven't even seen him yet. its driving me crazy, okay? I seriously don't know what to do.' Myungsoo felt mad at himself who started the whole thing. he couldn't deny, it was making him insane.
'Sungjong, help me look out for him, arasso? Take care of him for a while. Don't let him do anything stupid. And try to at least encourage him that I still... That I still love him.'
'I'll try my best Myungsoo. It hurts to see my hyung hurt like that. But you'll have to promise me it will be you who will make him happy again because I think Peniel hyung still likes him.'
'Mwoh?'
'Yeah. i think. From how he talks and acts aroung Sungyeol hyung, I could see it. He's trying to get back together with him. And I don't trust him anymore. Plus, Sungyeol hyung just said that he's still not really over Peniel hyung. Peniel hyung is still his weakness.'
Myungsoo swallowed this painful reality. What if peniel gets a second chance from sungyeol? He couldn't face that.
'Okay. thanks for informing me.'
'Bye.'
And Sungjong ended their conversation before Myungsoo could even reply.
***
Curious, peeps? HAHA, I'm putting a twist in the story. Hope I didn't dissapoint you guys :)
Leave your comments. I'm sorry its a short update, and a late one. i'm still working on the other chapter. So much for my 'Tonight if I can' -.-
Curious, peeps? HAHA, I'm putting a twist in the story. Hope I didn't dissapoint you guys :)
Leave your comments. I'm sorry its a short update, and a late one. i'm still working on the other chapter. So much for my 'Tonight if I can' -.-
LOL I'm in love with this GIF XD
PLEASE. Zelo is asking you to comment and subscribe ><
P/S: GIFs not mine. Credit to the rightful owners :)
P/S: GIFs not mine. Credit to the rightful owners :)
Comments