Have you ever been really tired, just on the brink of sleeping? Maybe you’re on the subway or on the bus going someplace when you should be in your bed at home, like when you’re going to school. Maybe you’re at a classical music concert, and the night before you were plagued with nightmares.

Every day is like that for me. Fighting for a dream, your destiny is exhausting-especially when you only get three hours of sleep every night on average. My sister tells me it’s worse because I’m still growing and I’m still a child. It doesn’t matter that I’m already a teenager-I’m always her baby sister. I don’t know how she got through the training period with this kind of sleep deprivation. Then again, her schedule is apparently more hectic since she debuted.

I didn’t feel like staying in the dorm and just sleeping for my day off. It was tempting, but my room felt like a prison. Everyone else was going out anyway. I figured that I might as well get a breath of fresh air with freedom and no purpose.

Even when I was walking out of the door, I was yawning.

*

It’s hard being seventeen years old. You’re almost an adult, your path in life is almost complete-and yet, every step you take is a wavering one. It doesn’t help when your parents don’t really approve what you’re doing.

It REALLY doesn’t help that people at my age already have become singers and have success. I would feel bad for myself if I didn’t have colleagues who are twenty years old and haven’t achieved their dreams either.

Every day is another trial, another battle. Even when I go outside, the wind threatens to knock me down, to leave me on the ground for other people to trod on as they try to achieve their purposes in life…

I need to sit down. I need to get out of the way. It’s okay to stray from the path once in a while, right?