We were in love.

Or at least I thought.

Was it one-sided?

Was it just me?

Inspiration ß 99% Cacao (manga) by Yoshioka Ririko

...xXx...

"Please go out with me," came the confession, quick and simple. Her voice was snobby but nervous; he barely gave her a glance. 

"I have a girlfriend," he stated simply, hands in his pockets calmly.

"No way! You're lying," the female accused, brows slamming above her eyes.

"Nope. That's her down there," he pointed out, waving a hand outside the window. "Noona!"

A short female, one that looked much younger than him if only for her height, looked up, a small smile lighting her features. She waved back to him at the third floor, a light pink brushing her face as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

He turned his full attention to her now, ignoring the female who had confessed and gotten rejected, stomping off already to throw a tantrum, not cry - she hadn't truly liked him he could see.

She held up a finger before her eyes returned to her path, moving her feet swiftly across the courtyard.

Wait a minute.

He smiled, quickly moving towards the stairs to meet her there despite her words; he was her boyfriend and he wanted to see her faster.

-oOo-

He fiddled with his fingers in front of him, eyes dodging mine as his head hung strangely low. There was a light blush across his cheeks and even sitting down and me standing, he still surpassed my height by a few centimeters.

He was a common sight in our classroom by now and I caught Dari and Jinju's gazes, the bright gleams accompanied by sly, teasing smiles. I recognized the look, throwing a warning one back as I put my hand on top of his.

Is something the matter?

He looked at me, surprise laced in his expression. It had taken time for him to get used to my lack of words and even more to my light affections - handholding and hugs that I did with my friends daily - but he had become accustomed all the same.

"Do you..." he paused for a second, eyes darting to my hand. "...want to do something together over the break?"

"What do you want to do?" I asked lightly, unable to help the smile crawling up my face. He muttered something to himself, rambling for a bit before taking a deep breath.

"The beach," he finally answered, eyes glancing up to mine. "Let's go to the ocean together."

"The ocean," I repeated, squeezing his hand lightly. "That sounds wonderful. I have an aunt who runs a hotel down by Busan. How does that sound?"

"Perfect," he breathed, standing up and hugging me so suddenly I forgot how to breathe for a second. He pulled away all too quickly, coughing awkwardly. "But...aren't you worried about supplementary lessons over the summer?"

I shook my head. I'm confident in my grades.

His smile slipped slightly. 

"Alright. Make arrangements then," he requested, removing his hand from mine. He sighed and my hand went to his shoulder with worry.

"Are you sure? It doesn't matter where we go as long as it's we go together," I muttered, searching his eyes for some indication of anything. "It isn't any trouble, right?"

"I-It's fine," he stuttered, blushing. "We'll definitely go to the beach over the break."

I smiled lightly as well.

"The beach it is then," I decided, reaching up and lightly kissing him on the cheek. I waved him a quick goodbye as he left for his own class, smiling. It would be a wonderful break.

-oOo-

"A distance?" I repeated, confused.

"Only until the end of finals," he begged, head bowed and hands clasped in front of him for forgiveness. I hesitated for a moment; was he tired of me?

"That's fine," I relented slowly. "But...for what? Are you...studying?"

"Yes," he answered automatically. I sighed in relief, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You...scared me," I admitted, avoiding his curious gaze. His hands grabbed mine.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I just...need the time."

"Want to study together after school then?" I offered. "School is important."

-oOo-

"Is something the matter Daniel?" I asked, strangely aware of - and slightly confused at - his blank eyes. His eyes stared at the pages of the book, unabsorbing. "You're not reading it."

"Oh well," he trailed off, smiling sheepishly. "I don't think just reading will help me understand."

I left out that it was the way I always studied - though I was currently reading a book for fun on psychology. I bookmarked my own book, turning to him.

"What do you not get?" I questioned, leaning over to glance at the topic - trigonometry; more specifically, the use of trigonometric identities to prove different expressions equal to one another.

"This question," Daniel mumbled, pointing at one of the harder problems in the book. His foundations at least, I noted, weren't lacking.

"For problems like these, you have to think out of the box," I began explaining, borrowing his led pencil from his bag and lightly circling and underlining when necessary to show him the proper steps. "This sin (x) here, for instance, isn't just a sin (x) but it can also be substituted. Using the formula you learned in the previous chapter sin² (x) + cos² (x) = 1, you can isolate sin (x) here to make (1 - cos² (x))^1/2 and when you substitute it in, it cancels with part of the denominator to make-"

"Wait wait," he interrupted, confused. "Slow down a bit please. I can't do math as quickly as you can."

"You subtract the cos² (x) here," I pointed out, showing each step in more detail. "Then you have to square root both sides to reduce the sin² (x) to sin (x). When you substitute, the entire expression reduces to 3(tan (x)-1) for the numerator and (1-cos² (x))^1/2 for the denominator."

I continued explaining each step until finally we got to the whole reduced answer, looking up at him for the first time in the entire problem.

"Do you understand?" I asked, hoping it had made some sense.

"I think so," he admitted, smiling.

"Here try this problem," I suggested with a smile in return, writing down another of similar level on his paper. He frowned, but he immediately began working, his free hand around mine, though I don't recall when it had become like that. I opened the book again with my free hand, one eye on his work and the other reading the pages and immersing myself in the story.

"Noona?" he called, his voice catching my attention.

"Yes?" I answered, raising a brow. 

"Can I call you by your name?" he asked, giving my hand a squeeze.

"...When you turn 17," I mumbled, embarrassed at his question. To call me by my name...how would it be?

There was a pause of silence.

"When are we going to kiss?" he questioned, curiosity lining his voice.

"I don't know," I admitted, a blush crawling up my cheeks. "Isn't it nice how it is for now?"

"Yeah," he answered, the sound of his pencil the only sound as his answer left no words needed to be spoken.

-oOo-

Before school, he was busy in his studies - so into the words along the pages I didn't have the heart to bother him.

During school, during breaks, he was asking other students questions, some connections coming together quickly ("Oh! That makes sense! Finally!") and others more slowly ("What? How?!").

After school, he was gone like the wind, in the teacher's lounge asking the instructor for extra help.

I knew I shouldn't have been selfish with this thought, but I couldn't help but think that I missed him - even if it was only one day of many.

-oOo-

Later that day, when I knew school had closed and he had to be home by now, my fingers slid along the keys of my phone, lingering over his number. 

He could have been busy for all I knew, perhaps at the library cramming in a few extra hours. But before I realized it, already I was calling him, my body with a life of its own, more honest than my brain. I held my breath, waiting with the speaker next to my ear.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

"Hello Noona," his bright voice greeted, wiping away my worries immediately.

"Hey Daniel," I answered, careful to keep my voice neutral. "Is it ok to talk now?"

"Definitely," he stated with a chuckle.

And so we talked without meaning, our topics wandering and with little relevance as long as we could hear each other, as long as I could hear him. 

And hours passed like seconds. 

I inwardly cringed at the time I had taken from his studying. I had better apologize.

-oOo-

"No texts or calls?" he repeated, confused.

"Studying is important," I excused, barely hiding my sadness. His future was imperative. "I lost my phone too."

He sighed.

"Is studying that important?" he asked, frowning.

"Definitely," I answered firmly. "Don't waste the time you have."

"Are you sure?" he questioned, his lower lip sticking out in an adorable pout. I recalled his words again.

"Study," I ordered with a nod. It was his future.

-oOo-

I walked across the courtyard, stretching my hands upward to the sky. My library committee duty had finally ended and I was heading home. The tension in my muscles loosened as I relaxed and I knew that somewhere within the building, Daniel was busy as well, pestering the teachers with questions without a doubt.

"Noona!" a familiar voice called ever so faintly. I didn't turn around, wondering if he would continue to try. But he didn't, and after a minute, I dared to pause, to turn around and look towards him.

"Should have called one more time. You shouldn't give up," I muttered wistfully. Then I went back on my way, his figure already gone from the window.

-oOo-

He was at the library, next to the window in the corner. His eyes were focused, the gears in his head turning as he read, answered, and thought. 

Was it selfish, I wondered, to love seeing him focused like that daily?

"Daniel," I called lightly, approaching. He looked up, immediately beaming.

"Noona," he greeted, pulling out the chair beside him. 

"How are you?" I asked, taking the seat offered.

"I'm fine. My studies are going great too," he answered amicably. I smiled, returning to silence.

"I...have a request," he muttered, looking at me. "...Can we meet this Sunday?"

"It's right before finals," I replied hesitantly. 

"Am I...not allowed to?" he asked reluctantly, lacing our fingers together. "It doesn't have to be for long."

"Where then?" I relented, smiling.

"In front of the station at noon. We can have lunch together," he offered.

"I'll meet you then," I promised, beaming. "I have to get going now. Someone's at the front desk."

I then walked to the front counter, checking books in and out for the next few hours.

-oOo-

I waited at the station, glancing at the clock every few minutes. I wasn't impatient by nature, but it had been hours. Had he fallen asleep? I wanted to call him, but I wasn't lying about my lost cell phone and I could only wait. However, once the sun began setting, I realized that he just wasn't coming and I walked home. 

-oOo-

"Daniel," Miyoung called, giving me that teasing look that quickly dropped at my reluctant look. The tall male glanced over, but the two of us had ducked behind a crowd and his eyes moved on.

"What's the matter?" she asked with worry. I shook my head. Nothing.

"That is not nothing," she declared, beginning to walk towards him. "If you won't tell me, I'll make him tell me."

I grabbed her by the wrist.

"He...stood me up," I admitted, immediately speaking to soothe her anger. "He probably fell asleep while studying. Don't worry about it."

"You can't excuse him for everything," she reminded, frowning.

"He's studying hard," I explained. "I may not be in his future, but his education background will be. Come on. The bell's about to ring."

And we went to class in relative silence, her accusing stare burning the back of my head the whole way.

-oOo-

Nutrition rolled by as did the classes until it was lunch.

"Can I talk to you?" a familiar voice requested. I looked up.

"Of course," I replied, standing and following him.

"Is there...something wrong?" he immediately asked once we were alone.

"Nothing," I answered honestly. "Is something wrong? Were you feeling ok Sunday?"

"Of course I was feeling fine Sunday. But don't you think I want to spend some time with you over studying?" he questioned, his eyes surprisingly angry.

"But finals are coming up-"

"I know, but Sunday-" he cut himself off. "I'm not a child. Look, if you don't like me or whatever that's fine, but don't drag me along like this. Just end this."

"What are you talking about Daniel?" I wondered aloud, reaching for his hand. He pulled away.

"You know what I'm talking about," he snapped and walked off. I stood there for a moment until Miyoung appeared with concerned eyes.

"It'll be ok," she comforted without knowing the full situation, hugging me. And silent tears burned my eyes but did not fall. I had to stay strong.

-oOo-

Finals rolled by and I answered without knowing what I was reading or writing. Like my soul had flown and I was empty husk, what was this feeling?

"Heartbreak," Miyoung whispered to Dari and Jinju during lunch.

Ah. That's what it was.

Heartbroken.

How aptly named.

-oOo-

It was Miyoung, Dari, Jinju, Jonghyun, and Byunghun who had noticed our down moods and brought us together rather forcefully - by locking us on the school roof on the last day.

For the first hour, no one talked and we sat together, our backs on the door side-by-side in silence.

"Was studying that important to you?" finally he broke the silence.

"I may not by in your future, but education background will be," I quoted simply.

"But I want to cherish the time now," he replied. "The truth is, I'm not smart."

"I know," I stated calmly. "You aren't known for it."

He winced lightly.

"But the teacher told me...depending on my final grades, I might not have a summer," he revealed, not meeting my eyes. "So I studied really hard so we could go to the beach together."

"I know," I muttered, sighing. "That's why I was giving you the distance you asked for."

"You couldn't even come on Sunday when you promised?" he questioned bitterly. 

I blinked.

"I came. I waited for you..." I trailed off, letting him complete it. But you never came.

He blinked.

"I waited for you..." he muttered in return, his eyes snapping to mine. "I called you and waited for hours but..."

"My phone was broken," I reminded. "My sister dropped it out a window. But...where were you?"

"At OOO station," he answered, puzzled. It came together.

"I was at XXX station," I explained, letting a hesitant smile paint my features. "Why did you want to see me?"

He blushed before shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Can you...close our eyes?" he requested and I shut them, listening to the sound of his clothes rustle as he came closer. His arms went around me.

"Don't open them yet," he warned, something light and cold settling on my collarbone. He leaned a little closer and I was sure he could feel the quickening beat of my heart. He pulled back, lightly tugging my hair until a thin chain touched my neck.

"There," he whispered, satisfied. "You can open your eyes now."

My eyes fluttered open as my hand automatically went to lift the small charm necklace up.

"This is-"

"Yeah, it's my ring," he admitted with a smile. "Well, it's a copy of my ring."

He held up his hand, showing it to me (ø). I recalled it from the school trip that seemed so long ago.

"I noticed you looking at it during the school trip so I bought you a smaller one. You'll wear it...right?" he asked hesitantly.

"It's beautiful," I thanked, kissing his cheek. "I thought...you didn't want to see me anymore. I was going to give you this Sunday too but-"

I rummaged through my bag, placing the small charm in his hand (ø). 

"I was hoping it'd give you good luck during your tests," I explained nervously. "I had one on my phone too, but since my phone broke I couldn't see how you liked it."

"It's perfect," he thanked, leaning his head on my shoulder.

And for the next two hours until our friends finally opened the door, we stayed like that in silence, enjoying each other's presence.