Past

20.4.1999 (5 years old)

 “Luhan honey, Sehun baby! Come here, mommy and daddy bought something for you both!”, the parents shouted at their own five year old twins who were playing outside at their lawn.

“Luhan, let’s go go go! Mommy and daddy are calling!”, Sehun took Luhan’s hands and pulled them up.

They were digging the soil, searching for earthworms. They always liked them.

“Mommy!”, Luhan ran towards his mom welcoming hands with his bright smile. His mother hugged him and asked about his day today. While Sehun, on the other side, hugged his father dearly and asked him about the something they bought for him and Luhan. Mother and Father put them both down and started to take out the things they bought from the paper bag on the table.

“Okay now…close your eyes otherwise a monster will come out”, their mom said to them playfully. They both obeyed and waited for something to be put on their lap. “Here you go, my dear twins!”, the mother clapped her hands after she and father put the things they bought on their sons’ lap.

They both opened their eyes slowly and looked down on their laps.

“Wahhh! An airplane! Thank you shooo much Mummy, Daddy!”, Luhan grinned happily. Sehun was speechless, he stared at the thing on his lap blankly and he was way too happy to speak anything.

“Sehun? Don’t you like it, dear?”, mother asked him while ruffling his hair.

“I-I…Luhan! I got a helicopter! It ith tho great! Yeayyyy!”, Sehun stood up and played with his helicopter. Luhan stood up and joined his younger twin brother with his new airplane. They played together until they fall asleep next to each other on the bed.

12.9.2006 (12 years old)

“Luhan! Where are you going? Wait for me!”, Sehun shouted at Luhan when he saw his twin brother put on his baseball cap and cycled off from the lawn. They were playfully wrestling with each other until Luhan suddenly gave up and went off just like that. Sehun saw that Luhan was holding onto his right arm while he was walking. He had a weird feeling so Sehun cycled after Luhan, following him.

“Luhan~ where are you going?”, he whined as he continued following Luhan behind him.

Luhan was riding the bicycle with just one hand handling the handlebar. Luhan suddenly pulled the brake on his bicycle and throw it aside. He hurriedly stomped his feet towards the nearest bench and sat on it. What is he going to do at the park? Sehun wondered when he realized they were both at the park nearby their house now. Sehun looked to his right and found Luhan on the bench, looking down while trying to cover his right arm.

He got off from his bicycle and walked towards Luhan while eyeing him carefully. “Luhan? Are you okay?”, Sehun asked Luhan as he took off Luhan’s baseball cap from his head.

Luhan stayed silence. He then looked up at Sehun and to Sehun’s unexpected guess, Luhan was crying. He was in tears. Sehun instantly kneeled in front of Luhan and hold his knees. Luhan looked down again.

“Luhan! What’s wrong? Are you okay?”, Sehun shook Luhan’s stiffened knees. “Luhan!”, he shouted again and he took Luhan’s chin and brought it up to meet his eyes. Tears were b in Luhan’s eyes.

“Luhan, tell me. What’s wrong with you?!”, Sehun shouted again.

“I-I think…I broke my right arm...”, Luhan sobbed.

“W-what?! Why didn’t you tell me?! Luhan, can you hold on?”, Sehun worriedly asked Luhan.

He thumbed away the tears on Luhan’s cheeks and he Luhan’s back gently. He was trying to make Luhan relax. Luhan nodded, telling him that he can still hold on. Sehun stood up and went to the playground where many kids were playing. He asked help from one of the children to cycle Luhan’s bicycle back home while he carried Luhan on his bicycle. The kid agreed and he gladly helped the twins.

“Luhan! What happened to you?!”, father asked worriedly when he saw Sehun supporting Luhan to walk inside.

“He b-broke his arm”, Sehun stuttered.

“It’s okay. Let’s go to the hospital now”, the father assured the twins.

They both nodded and went inside the car. Luhan was crying and constantly sobbing because of the pain he was feeling. Both of them were sitting at the backseat with Sehun constantly rubbing Luhan’s back and thigh, asking him to hold on. They reached the hospital and luckily Luhan was alright. He got his right hand cemented. Father and Sehun sighed in relieved. Mother was out of town when the incident happened but father told her over the phone and she rushed back home.

“Luhan?! Baby, are you okay?”, she asked his son as soon as she reached home.

“I’m fine, Mom. It does not hurt anymore. Sehunnie helped me”, Luhan looked at Sehun and smiled at him.

“Thank God you both are okay. Sehunnie dear, you did a good job. Now both go to bed, take a rest okay? Don’t wrestle anymore”, the mother said to them both. “Thank God they are both fine, honey”, father said to mother after the twins went upstairs into their room.

“Sehunnie?”, Luhan broke the silence when they both had settled down on the bed.

“Yeah?”, he turned around to face Luhan on his right side.

They shared a bed, (I forgot to mention sorry).

“Thank you for today. Otherwise, I’ll lose my hands”, Luhan giggled and looked at Sehun straight in the eyes, thanking the brunette. He looked at Luhan’s eyes and brushed away the hairs that were covering Luhan’s eyes behind the latter’s ear.

“It’s nothing, Hannie. You’re my twin, we’re equal. I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you. Let’s go to bed, okay? Sleep tight”, Sehun told Luhan.

Without Luhan’s knowing, Sehun really did meant his ‘I love you’ towards Luhan.

After a while, they both drifted off to sleep.

15.2.2010 (16 years old)

“Why do you think such a thing has happened? How could such a thing have happened? I don’t get it”, Luhan confusedly asked Chanyeol when he looked back upon to what he had seen earlier in the classroom.

He saw Sehun.

Sehun was in the classroom with his best friend, Kai, kissing each other so passionately. And he was more confused when he knew that Sehun saw him standing still at the door, staring at them, and yet, he continued kissing Kai more passionate. Luhan gasped in shocked and ran straight away to the library upstairs.

It was recess. Library was his usual spot with Chanyeol when they didn’t feel like going to canteen. Luhan knew his twin was much more popular than his own tiny, naïve self. He knew it.

, why am I crying? We’re brothers, we’re twins. I couldn’t possibly…. He suddenly raised up his head from the table and wiped his now wet cheeks. He shook his head hard and tried to deny the fact that he had fallen for Sehun but he was stopped by a loud thud coming from beside him. Chanyeol instantly stood up and left, leaving a confused Luhan with that person.

“Se-Sehun, what are you doing here?”, he asked the younger. Sehun looked at him and kept silence.

“Luhan, you cycled back  home first. I got something to do at school. Tell mum and dad about it”, he told coldly.

“What is it?”, Luhan was curious about Sehun’s something.

“Not your business”, Sehun snorted. He stood up and walked away from Luhan.

Since then, Sehun will always keep a distance from Luhan.

Present

Everything has changed between them. Everything.

“That’s nice”, Sehun said. He seemed to mean it. It sounded to Luhan as if Sehun was happy in his own way to hear that he’s going to take the entrance exam for medical schools, but given his limited expression of emotion, he could not go so far as to openly suggest this.

“I hope you’ll like what I’m doing and you’ll support me”, he said.

“Not worried.”

“Why not?” Luhan asked.

Sehun didn’t answer, lapsing into silence on his end. It seemed like a deliberate kind of silence, designed to make Luhan think, but try as he might, Luhan could come up with no explanation for why he should have such confidence in him.

He spoke to break the silence. “I guess good luck for your events later!”

Sehun cleared his throat. “I don’t believe in luck.”

“That’s fine”, Luhan said. “You don’t have to depend on luck if you don’t want to. I just thought you’d do your best and have a good luck. Don’t worry. Do your best, okay? I’ll pray for you”.

“What do you mean.”, Sehun sounded flat, not asking but kinda stating something.

“Well…I really want you to win medals in your upcoming events later so I will just hope and pray for you so that you could win them. You haven’t told me what events you’re taking part”.

Sehun fell silent again, but this time it did not seem deliberate. He simply could not fathom the purpose of Luhan saying stuffs like that or what prompted him to say it. His words hadn’t landed in any region of his consciousness. It seemed to have nothingness like a lone planetary exploration rocket that has sailed beyond Pluto.

“Never mind”, Luhan said, giving up. “It’s not important as long as you win medals, I’m happy”. It had been a mistake even to tell Sehun such things.

“Okay, then, good luck. Stay focus, relax. Do your best”, Luhan said.

Sehun hesitated a few moments, and then hung up without saying anything, no “Goodbye”, no “Thank you”, no anything. There was just the click of the connection being cut. Perhaps he had nodded to Luhan before hanging up his hand phone. Unfortunately, though, body language generally fails to have its intended effect on the phone. Luhan locked his phone, took two deep breaths, switched the circuits of his brain to do something more realistic, and continued with the preparations for his entrance exam for the medical school.

However, even after an hour trying to stay focus and study on the things he needed to, Luhan failed to do so. He was thinking about Sehun’s weird behavior since he caught him kissing with one of his fellow athlete, Kim Jongin in their classroom two years ago. Since then, Sehun was acting cold towards Luhan. His style of speaking became short and had some distinguishing characteristics such as a limited vocabulary or at least what seemed like a limited vocabulary. I was right, it was odd. Luhan talked to himself. Luhan took a drink at the edge of his study table without averting his gaze towards his picture with Sehun in front of him, nicely put into a frame. Sehun was having his cute smile while slinging his arms around Luhan’s neck. Luhan was putting on a v-sign and he smiled brightly in the picture. Luhan sighed when he realized everything is different now. His phone suddenly vibrated and he quickly put his glass of water aside and took a hold of his hand phone. He was hoping it was Sehun but unfortunately it was Chanyeol, his best friend. He answered the call and Chanyeol’s voice could be heard over the line.

“Hey”, Luhan half-heartedly answered it. He was in no mood to talk to anyone, not even Chanyeol.

“Hey, what are you doing?”, Chanyeol asked.

Luhan sighed and kept silence, trying to give Chanyeol the idea of him didn’t have the mood of talking to anyone right now. However, though, Chanyeol didn’t get it.

“Studying for college entrance exams?”.

Luhan sighed and shook his head.

“I don’t want to talk about my college or medical school entrance exams”.

“Are you okay?”

“I need to be alone, sorry. I’ll catch you back later. Bye”, Luhan hung up the phone, not even feeling sorry for just hanging up like that to Chanyeol, his best friend.

a/n: okay hi guys! i hope i didn't dissapoint all of you. i tried to improve my writing, a lot. so i guess this is it. and if there are typos, i'm sorry i'm kinda sleepy now hehe. and omg my baekyeol feels are everywhere! just look at these two precious guy. damn it. you saw what i did right? yeollie moving forward then suddenly baekhyun pulled away. urgh. anyway, happy birthday chanyeol. live happily with baekhyun. bye!