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Kikwang took in a shaky breath, looking anywhere but up at the man above him, heart racing as he tried to figure out what he could possibly mean. The realisation hit him hard and fast as Junhyung’s hand slid up to his chest, and Kikwang breathed in sharply. Dark eyes searched the elder’s face for any signs of jest and Kikwang bit his lip hesitantly, voice barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry.”

.

.

Hurt flashed through Junhyung’s eyes and it made Kikwang’s heart clench painfully as he felt his stomach drop while the elder pulled his hand away and sat back, smiling ruefully. The laugh that escaped Junhyung’s bow shaped lips was bitter and coarse, and Kikwang’s chest ached at the sound as Junhyung started moving off of him. Kikwang didn’t know how or why or when, but his fingers wrapped tightly around the elder’s wrist in faint panic and desperation, voice quivering as he murmured a meak, “Don’t go.” 

There was a short pause, the rustling of sheets, an unsteady breath and suddenly, everything seemed to go still as soft lips pressed against his, earning a quiet noise of surprise from the younger as Junhyung slowly deepened their kiss. It was as if that was all Junhyung had needed, all the encouragement he needed in order to make his feelings known, and he took the chance as it fell upon him. Kikwang’s eyes were wide with panic and shock, anxiety washing over him as he nervously glanced towards Yoseob’s empty bunk, before letting out a soft whimper as Junhyung’s hands slid underneath his shirt once more. Exhaling shakily, Kikwang’s eyes fluttered shut, forgetting about the world and his worries for a fleeting moment as he slowly eased into the kiss, lips parting hesitantly. 

Junhyung sounded out a pleased hum, falling against the younger heavily as hot breaths were exchanged and tongues met, hands roaming over bare skin. Pulling back shortly, Junhyung whispered a desperate and hasty, “I’ll take care of you better; you deserve so much more,” before leaning forward to press his mouth to Kikwang’s once more, grateful for the response he received as Kikwang kissed him back fervently.

It was Kikwang who broke the kiss first, slightly breathless and dumbfounded as Junhyung’s previous words finally seemed to register in his mind. Swallowing thickly, he weakly pushed at the elder, hands shaking as he mumbled, “Junhyung, but I love Y—”

Thin lips met his own once more, again and again and again, cutting off his words each and every time as Junhyung kissed him soundlessly, deeply, and with all the emotions that he could muster into those kisses, leaving the younger breathless and dizzy. Kikwang was vaguely aware of the heat behind his eyelids as he gasped and choked back a sob, Junhyung’s mouth moving gently against his own. It was so gentle, so soft, so loving, and it was breaking Kikwang apart as he shook slightly, holding back another sob. 

Pulling back, Junhyung gazed down at Kikwang in concern, eyes widening in faint alarm as the younger’s eyes squeezed shut, crystalline tears rolling down his soft cheeks. 

“Kiki,” he murmured, eyes narrowed in worry as he leaned over the younger’s shaking form. “Kiki, I’m sorry.” 

Shaking his head, Kikwang swallowed thickly as he blinked back more tears, before harshly slapping the elder’s chest, his voice a harsh whisper, “Why do you always have to make it so hard? Why must you keep bringing this up?!”

Eyes wide with shock, Junhyung sat back, silenced, as Kikwang frowned deeply, tears clinging to his lashes as his lower lip quivered. Taking in a shaky breath, Kikwang opened his mouth to continue, indignant, hurt, and above all, confused. “Where were you when I actually needed you, Junhyung? When I was alone every single time; when I went through all that bull he put me through and suffered on my own, where the were you? Yeah, sure, you pretended to listen sometimes, but then what? You screwed me on the floor and just acted like I didn’t exist the next day! I'm not some ing toy you can just come to whenever you need a , Junhyung!”

Dumbfounded, Junhyung continued to stare at the youth before him, jaw slack and heart hammering behind his ribs as Kikwang wiped his eyes with his sleeves. 

“Y-You never car—”

“I cared a lot more than I let on!” Junhyung protested, voice coming out much louder than he’d intended. Kikwang flinched and choked on a sob as he shrunk back into the bed, eyes wide and wet. 

Sighing, Junhyung glanced away apologetically before looking around the room, biting his lip in vague relief as he noted that he hadn’t woken anyone up. Grabbing Kikwang by the wrist, he pulled him off the bed before forcefully dragging him out into the hallway. Kikwang pulled out of the rapper’s grasp, refusing to look up at him as he sniffed, gingerly rubbing his wrist. 

Junhyung sighed, trying to steady his breathing as he hesitantly looked down at Kikwang. Silence overtook them once again and neither made any move to speak until Junhyung sighed again and whispered, voice soft, “Kiki, I…I cared. I still care; so much more than you know. If you’d only give me another chan—”

“You had your chance,” Kikwang murmured, voice hoarse. His eyes were swollen as his gaze finally slid up to meet Junhyung’s. “You had so many chances and you just — you threw me aside each time, Junhyung. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t lo—”

“But I do love you,” mumbled Junhyung, voice dropping further as he gazed at the younger, eyes filled with raw emotion as he took a step closer. 

Taking a step back, Kikwang shook his head, vehemently trying to hold back tears as he held out an arm in front of him to stop the elder from coming any closer, his voice rising up a few decibels in anguish, "Stop lying!"

Junhyung flinched, his eyes widening as he halted in his steps, taken aback and heart stinging with  rejection as he stared down at the younger male. His mouth was dry as he bit his lip, hands falling to his sides uselessly as he watched fresh tears slide down Kikwang's cheeks. 

"If you loved me, if you liked me at all, you would've been there, Junhyung!" 

No explanation was needed to determine what Kikwang was referring to; no words were needed to be said because he knew what Kikwang meant. He knew what had happened, and he knew just how much it had changed Kikwang drastically over the last few months. 

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"Yoseobie~" Kikwang chirped, his eyes hidden behind his lashes as he smiled brightly and threw his arms around his boyfriend, pressing a light kiss to the elder's cheek. 

Yoseob grinned and glanced back at the younger, raising an eyebrow. "Hey, there, handsome." 

Giggling, Kikwang turned the elder around to press a quick kiss to his lips, pleased at the affectionate compliment. "Are you free today?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips and eager innocence sparkling in his dark eyes as he tilted his head to the side and waited for an answer. He was disappointed as the elder shook his head and pouted, earning a pout of his own in response. "A-Ah, do you have any separate schedules today? I thought we would all be free this weekend..."

Pouting sympathetically, Yoseob lifted a hand to pinch the younger's cheek, reassuring him, "I'll try to be back as soon as I can, okay?"

Nodding slowly, Kikwang could not hold back the childish pout that adorned his features as he bit his lip and sighed. "Promise?"

"Promise." Yoseob smiled, giving the younger a quick peck on the lips.

"Ahhh, seriously, the weather is so good today," Kikwang sang, a wide smile pulling at his lips as he took in a deep, appreciative breath. 

Dongwoon laughed and nodded in agreement, holding up his ice cream cone to let his pink tongue savour the frozen dessert. "It sure is nice," he murmured, looking around the park as they walked together. After Yoseob had left, Kikwang had offered to buy his younger bandmate ice cream, being in the mood for it himself and wanting to go out for a little fresh air with company he enjoyed. Once they'd purchased their ice creams, the two continued their walk down the park, simply taking in the fall scenery and air around them.

Kikwang smiled to himself and hummed, tasting his own ice cream in small, appreciative . The soft, creamy texture brought pleasure to his craving palate and he paused momentarily to admire his strawberry flaboured dessert, holding it out at an arm's length. "I wish Seobie was here," he murmured, a small pout adorning his lips at the thought of his beloved boyfriend. "He would've loved having ice cream right now."

He glanced up at his younger companion, unconsciously awaiting a reply, only to blink and frown curiously as Dongwoon stopped short in his steps, a look of confusion painted across the younger's handsome features. Slowing down to a halt, Kikwang looked up at his friend and cocked an eyebrow, wrinkling his nose slightly, "What's wrong?"

Dongwoon's Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, his mouth suddenly feeling dry and the sweetness of the ice cream turning bitter as he blinked at the scene before him. For there, hardly a few meters away, was Yoseob with none other but their leader. Now, ordinarily, there wouldn't be anything wrong with that, except maybe one would question why Yoseob chose to spend the day with Doojoon after turning down his boyfriend's request to spend the day together. But what had really caught Dongwoon's attention was the way the two had been walking side by side, shoulders and hips brushing and hands intertwined as they strolled along the paved pathway; it was the way Yoseob had smiled shyly as he turned to tip-toe and press a chaste kiss to Doojoon's reddened cheek, the way the elder had turned Yoseob around in his strong arms and glanced around before lovingly pulling him in for a soft, lingering kiss. 

Their eyes met momentarily over Kikwang's head, Dongwoon's gaze narrowed and Doojoon's shocked as he pulled away from Yoseob not too soon. Confused, Kikwang frowned as he received no reply from Dongwoon, before following the younger's gaze and blinking in surprise. Obivious to it all, the dancer broke into a smile at the sight of his blond boyfriend, and his excitement shone through at the way his eyes brightened up and his voice rang out, "Yoseob!"

Startled, Yoseob pulled away from Doojoon in guilt-ridden panic, his dark eyes wide as he turned aroung to face his partner. He blinked once, twice, even thrice before he realised that Kikwang had in fact, not seen him kiss Doojoon, and for a split second, his heart seemed to relax until he met Dongwoon's cold, judgemental gaze. Yoseob averted his eyes, his smile awkward and forced as Kikwang bounded up to him and tackled him in a hug, peppering him with questions and quick, secretive kisses which were a novelty for him in public. Squirming uncomfortably, Yoseob eased out of the younger's grasp and chewed on his lower lip, assuring Kikwang that he had just been on his way back to the dorm with their leader.

And if Kikwang had noticed anything strange in his lover's voice or eyes, he said nothing of it, simply grasping Yoseob's hand and flashing Doojoon a plastered smile. He ignored the sudden tension that seemed to linger between the four of them, the air suddenly too thick, too warm for a September morning. 

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Junhyung was quiet as he stared down at Kikwang, the younger still struggling to hold back silent sobs as he pressed his palms over his eyes. It did nothing to make him feel better as Kikwang shook with the force of a suppressed shudder, his breaths now coming out in sharp, loud gasps as he slid down against the wall. His sobs were the only source of noise in the otherwise empty and silent corridor, two of the six members sound asleep in the room down the hall. 

The two tensed as a quiet giggle sounded from nearby, the sound muffled, before being followed by silent shuffling. Kikwang's eyes were wide and laced with hurt at the familiar laugh, his heart falling to the ground and below as his sobs quietened down and died out, ears pricking up to seek out any apparent noise. The next sound to escape the confines of the closed bathroom door nearby tugged on Kikwang's very soul with icy threads, and his vision once more blurred as hot tears pooled beneath his eyelids. Pressing a hand over his mouth to hold back a sob, he turned away and half ran, half stumbled out the corridor and past the front door, his heart racing and ears ringing as blood rushed through his veins. 

Junhyung's jaw clenched and his fists curled as another soft moan reached his ears, wanton and desperate.

"Oh, Doojoonie..." 

A/N: ;-; bad yoseob ok. that's all i have to say ;-; thank you for commenting and subscribing, you guys ajjjdhfalksj;