6 days ago

I looked to the paper Chen gave me. His hand-writing was so neat. I read the lyrics.

I love you, I’m sorry

But I can’t do this anymore

I don’t even have the right to get close to you

Don’t love me

I don’t have the ease of being able to give you my heart

I live every day beyond my strength

Each day is too much so i cry

I haven’t even finished reading the lyrics. I didn’t realize my tears came out. Lay called my name softly, “Chae…”

I looked up and met Lay’s eyes. “It was beautiful. Read it,” I gave the paper to him. Chen smile proudly to me. I nodded and hugged him. I’m telling the truth, it was beautiful.

“Can I hear the melody?” I asked them. Chen nodded and gave Lay his earphone. He set his iPod to a song. Lay, he listened to the song Chen played. I closed my eyes. Sighed. I could feel that Lay set his seat on the piano chair. I could feel he started to put his fingers on the piano keys. I took a breath.

And then, he played it. He played it. Oh my God, it really WAS beautiful. The tone. Oh my God, I couldn’t describe it to words. I praised Chen so much.

“Oh, I.. I don’t have anything I can give you,” I started to sing.

“but I’m,” Lay followed my led.

“missing you,” I replied his lines and smiled at him.

“I can’t even give you loving words,” Lay continued his playing. He seemed to already memorize it.

“But I’m missing you,” I walked closer to him.

“I can’t even boldly wish for you to be mine,” Lay finished his playing on the piano keys.

Chen clapped for us. He gave us standing applause. “Bravo, bravo! Oh my god, I admire the two of you. You are so wonderful!” he praised us.

“No, no. I am your fan. You composed such a great song,” I told him and looked at Lay to ask for an agreement.

“’kay. ‘kay. So, now, shall we ask Chen to sing?” asked Lay.

“Huh? Chen can sing?” I asked the two of them. Lay winked at Chen. Chen looked at him in a blaming look. “Please, please, sing for me. This part, this part,” I point to the lyrics he gave me.

He accepted the paper. He cleared his throat. “Okay. Just this part,” he said. I nodded.

“I’m holding back, even though it hurts,

Even tears are a luxury for me,

I don’t even have the right to look at you,

Don’t look at me”

###

4 days ago

“Chae,” someone patted me on my shoulder. I nearly jumped because I couldn’t find my friend in this afternoon break crowd. I took a look back and found Lay there. I planned to greet him cheerily, but I caught a gloom glance.

“What’s wrong, Lay?” I asked him carefully.

He looked at the floor, his shoes, and the first line of canteen’s table. I knew that he confused about telling me or not. I waited for his response, didn’t want to force him. “Umm,” he said something finally. “Hear. Chen… Chen was missing..”

The wind blew coldly. “What do you mean by ‘missing’? Like skip the class?” I tried to laugh.

“No,” Lay turned his face to the serious one. “He was missing, Chae.”

Oh my gosh. He really meant it. “You’ve called him?” I asked him.

He nodded. “Yes. I even checked his apartment this morning. He didn’t show up since yesterday.” He looked very worry. Chen must be someone important for him.

“I’ll help you to search for him,” I told him. He seemed to be a little glad. I asked him, “Where should we start?”

###

He patted my head. “Let’s called it a day, Chae,” he said. I looked up to his face. I saw his fatigue and worries. I shook my head. No, we didn’t even find a single clue about Chen.

He looked at my eyes. “Chae. Please closed your eyes,” he said.

My heart jumped out. “Whaa…?”

He held my hands, something he’s never done before. Something new for me, for us. “You’ve help me so much today. I know it’s selfish, but I just wanna you help me one more thing for today.”

I even didn’t mind it. He has helped me so much too with the final exam things. I nodded and closed my eyes without protested anymore. Suddenly, I felt his hands grabbed mine, I mean, held my hands tighter. “Chae, I want you to keep it a secret. I- I’ve never shared my weak side to others before..” I surprised with his words until I opened my eyes a bit unknowingly.

He touched my nose with his right hand. “I said, closed your eyes, naughty Chae,” he chuckled. I closed my eyes again. I hear every word came from his mouth. “Chen is my best, best friend ever. I’ve known him for years. To be honest, he is like a brother to me. So, when he lost, I didn’t know what to do. It’s like you’ve lost your part of family.”

“side..,” I whispered.

“What?” he asked me. He got his ears closer to my mouth to hear what I said.

“Don’t worry, Lay. I’ll be by your side.”

He nodded and, unexpectedly, embraced me. “Thanks, Chae. You are one of my closest friends too right now. Thanks for treat me as a normal guy. Thanks for helping me search for Chen. Thanks for saying you’ll be by my side. You’ve became important to me, too.”

###

3 days ago

When I was on math class, the last class I took, I felt something wrong. I did my math test as what I’ve learnt last night. “Lee Chae Yeon, don’t daze away. Do your test properly,” said the math teacher. Uhh, thanks for made me embarrassed, teacher. So, I went back to my test and did my best.

###

As the bell rang, I went out as soon as possible to the practice room. I signed the column and asked the teacher if Lay or Chen has used the room. The teacher said that none of them has shown up today. I became very worried now.

Where is him?

I couldn’t think anymore. I took my papers out, tried to concentrate to my final exam. But, I couldn’t find Chen’s note for me. Uhh, stupid me. I left it in my locker.

I went out and told the teacher that I will be back after take something from my locker. Luckily, my locker is in the same building as the practice room. After I got in front of my locker, I opened it. I took some papers and Chen’s note too. After I took the last paper, I realized something that shouldn’t be here. A CD. Wait, there was a note with it.

Chae, I’m sorry.

I’ll not show up for several days.

I’m in a hurry, so I couldn’t tell you much.

Listen to it, and remember what I’ve said before.

Hope you’ll understand.

-Zhang Yi Xing

I brought the CD with me and ran as fast as possible to the practice room. There was a CD player there and I played the CD which Lay gave me.

A melody, his typical, rebound from the CD player. It’s a different melody from his last piece. But, It was as perfect as the song before.

“Remember, Chae. Music isn’t just tones which played to be a song. It is a life. It is a message. Sometimes, music can be a mystery. You have to decode it and found the secret message. But, the meaning of music itself is depending on you.”

So, it must be a message from Lay. In his note, based on his messy hand writing, he seemed to be running out the time.

Piano

“After this calm situation”

Crescendo

“Something bad happened”

Allegretto

“I must run away from it”

Many staccatos with slurs

“Something that shouldn’t happen is happening”

Minor chords, forte

“A terror”

And then, some tones, played over and over again. Umm, a pattern I think.

C^♭ F …… E D C^♭ F

C flat, Ces. F, ef. Cesef. Cesev. C—sev. Save.

E D C flat F. E D save? No, no.

E D.. eud. Eur. Eour. Your.

Your save? Yourself.

“Save yourself”

###

Hi all. I'm sorry for the late update. My final exams have just finished. This is the 3rd chapter *cheering*. The song that Chen's made here I took from Infinite's translated song : ONLY TEARS. Check it out :D It was really a good song. Hope you'll like it. Don't mind to leave comments. Thanks :))