Dear, Yunho oppa

Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again.  So when life gets tough you can just play pretend.  I wanna go back to when Santa did exist.  When Disney World was the best place to be.  When the only movies you could see were rated G.  When your biggest problem was learning to write your name and people didn't change...and your friends were the same.  And every time you were sad or you had a bad day.  You could just run to mommy and it would all be okay.  I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter.  When everyone always lives happily ever after.

I don't know if you've ever felt like that.  That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years, or just not exist, or just not be aware that you do exist, or something like that.  I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this.  That's why I'm trying not to think.  I just want it all to stop spinning.

I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much.

Mianhae.  For the tears I brought to your life.  Mianhae,  for all the wasted times.

I'm leaving,

you