Genre: angst, romance
Includes: ,
Chapters: 14+ 
Status: incomplete
Characters: Jessica Jung, Lee Sungmin, Lee Hyukjae (Eunhyuk), Lee Donghae, and the rest of the SM family
Summary: Imagine meeting someone, and immediately finding a connection with him. Imagine being about to be with him forever, because he belongs to you. Imagine spending years with that person, and finally giving him everything that means anything you to because you trust him. And now imagine finding out that he cheated on you. Imagine the pain that you have to go through, because you're pregnant with his child...

 

 

 

 

 

The title is definitely capturing. If this was to come up on the recently updated, I would definitely click into it

 

 

 

 

 

The font and writing was really clear and I didn’t need to squint my already squinty eyes.. hehe.

I think I can make out where the angst will start coming in but at the moment, I haven’t read anything too sad.. except EunHae’s story but yeah.. I’m guessing from your description that SungMin will leave Jessica soon? Up to what I’ve read, it isn’t sad yet so I thought that the black and white didn’t really suit the story.. That is the reason I deducted a mark but when you finish the whole story, make sure to come back here so we can give you a full review.

 

 

 

 

 

I haven’t read anything like this. This definitely deserves full marks in originality. I have subscribed because I wanna read on. Please do update soon. I’m looking forward to the next chapters.

 

 

 

 

 

I think that this is one of your weakest points. The description really captured my attention but the preface was really hard to understand.. And I’m pretty confused about who Amber is.. Once again it may be because the story isn’t all out yet..

 

 

 

 

 

Definitely full marks in this category!! You developed the characters so well. I love EunHyuk’s character. How he’s actually soft inside and I love DongHae’s character too. He’s soo caring and his love for EunHyuk is amazing.

I deducted a mark because I reckon Jessica’s character is a bit too perfect to be true.. This makes it hard for the reader to relate to her..

There hasn’t been much revealed about SungMin’s character but I’m loving his relationship with Jessica already. Can you please not split them? Haha I’m asking for too much.. Good luck with the rest of the story.

 

 

 

 

 

The plot so far has been well planned. It’s nice how you added in chapters every now and then. Hehe to be honest, I enjoy reading those every now and then. I was never a fan of but this has kinda changed my mind. I might start reading more.. I ship EunHae now as well.

 

 

 

 

 

The story flows really well and the pace is just right. Not once in the story did I get bored. I read all 14 chapters in one go. I’m really looking forward to your next chapters.

I have never given full marks here because I believe that there will always be improvement in this area. No one will ever be able to get this category perfect..

 

 

 

 

 

There are only some grammar errors that I found and I will list them below:

Original ~ and finally giving him everything that means anything to you because you trust him.

Correction ~ and finally giving him everything that means something to you because you trusted him

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You played around with the tense slightly there.. Try to keep the tense the same throughout. This was in your foreword.

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Original ~ He usually refers her to just Jessi

Correction ~ He usually refers to her as Jessi

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It just makes more sense that way. It was understandable the way you wrote it at first but yeah… This was in the foreword under Jessica’s character introduction

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Original ~ like she knows what a regular 16 year old knows about eveything, but she takes everything on the innocent side

Correction ~ like she knows everything a regular 16 year old should know, but she thinks of everything on the innocent side.

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Same as before. This is under Jessica’s introduction and I just thought it would make more sense this way.

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Original ~ I hope… this is my only chance to say anything for I go

Correction ~ I hope… this is my only chance to say anything before I go.

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This is in the preface and I’m pretty sure you meant before instead of for? Maybe just a typo?

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Original ~ Seohyun, the bubbliest person in our family, smiled at me and hugged me tightly, wishing me a happy birthday again.

Correction ~ SeoHyun, the bubbliest person in our family, smiled at me and wished me happy birthday while hugging me tightly.

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I just didn’t like the way you worded it so I corrected it. I’m doing the corrections as I read so that means it will be in order. From now on until I say so, it will be chapter 1

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Original ~ She was the most recent member of our family- Oppa brought her home just a year ago.

Correction ~ She was the most recent member of our family; Oppa brought her home just a year ago.

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Instead of a hyphen (-) use a semi-colon (;) It just fits better and is less confusing to read.

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Original ~ I hugged him tightly-tighter than I hug everyone else- and kissed him on the cheek.

Correction ~ I hugged him tightly; tighter than I hug everyone else- and kissed him on the cheek.

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Same thing as before.. Use a semi-colon instead.

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Original ~ Appa had the guys hitch the horses to my new carriage and took me and Oppa outside

Correction ~ Appa had the guys hitch the horses to my new carriage and took Oppa and I outside

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It should be I instead me. It just flows more this way.

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Original ~ I have Oppa a bright smile and nodded. “Thank you, Oppa!”

Correction ~ I gave Oppa a bright smile and nodded. “Thank you, Oppa!”

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I think this was just a typo? You probably just accidentally typed have instead of gave?

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Original ~ I was about to ask Oppa to help me pick one when I something emotionally pulling on my soul

Correction ~ I was about to ask Oppa to help me pick one when I felt something emotionally pulling on my soul

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Ohkk I can probably pick out many mistakes if I continued to look.. No one types without mistakes.. I will stop pointing them out now.. I don’t want the whole review to be corrections… If you want me to point out the grammar/spelling, just message me or comment below.

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Original ~ “Yeah, I’m fine,” I told me.

Correction ~ “Yeah, I’m fine,” I told him.

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Okay.. I lied. I corrected another one.. This will be the last one for now.. If you read over your writing, I’m sure you’ll find the errors as well. They’re only tiny errors anyway

 

 

 

 

 

It was amazing to read and I’ve given you quite a high mark. I hardly ever give out high marks here unless my bias is in it. But I want you to know, I really did enjoy reading your fanfic.

 

 

 

 

 

It was a really nice fanfic. I couldn’t help but smile at some parts. I found it really funny when EunHyuk grabbed Yoona’s hand and pressed it there ;) LOLOL

 

 

 

 

 

I really enjoyed reading this fanfic. LOL I think I said this above already? Well it was really fun to read and thanks for requesting :) Do come again when you have finished writing it so we can give you a proper review. I am sorry for my poor review.. I’m only a newbie in reviewing >.< If you have any problems or are unhappy with my review, please feel read to comment or message me ^-^ Anyways once again, thanks for requesting. It was a pleasure reviewing your fanfic :) 92% is a really good mark and you deserved it ^.~ Keep up the good work :D