Song: G.O Ft. Mir- Even In My Dreams

Everything has changed.

New style, new friends, and new grade.

One thing remains though.

My feelings.

Those feelings that you played around with and kicked into the gutter.

I know it wasn't intentional, but it still happened.

One big change occured.

Me.

"You're not the same anymore."

"Is everything okay?"

"Did something happen at school?"

"Did you get into a fight with your friends."

"Everyone thinks that you are angry."

I always get those questions and statements now.

Have you ever seen those girls that don't smile much and don't have much expression?

The ones that have friends, but is the quietest one there?

Yeah, that's me.

I changed from being a happy-go-lucky girl that always is cheerful to a pokerfaced, fierce girl.

I have a shorter temper now.

Dull eyes, no expression, and a preoccupied brain.

Thinking and thinking.

Of what, you ask?

Of course, it's you; L.Joe. 

Everyday, I come home and my mom bombards me with questions.

I brush them off and just listen to my music.

Playing on shuffle,  why are there only sad songs on?

I leave them on, until I hear a specific one; Wedding Dress.

Our song....It should mean nothing now.....

Delete?

But, I can't.

It's like deleting our memories.

How ironic, we picked a song that's really sad.

The lyrics tells the story of a guy that misses his chance and let's the girl slip into another man's embrace.

I tried not to listen to that song because it causes headaches...

And recollection of a heartbreak.

As much as I want to cry, I can't.

My eyes are dried up rivers.

What's the point of crying?

It does you no good.

I'm suffocating and nobody knows it.

But, there's one thing that I wanted to hear before I said goodbye.

Just those 3 words.

143.

I love you.

Even I like you would be okay.

When you confessed, you never even said that.

Walking past you, I think," Deep breath, deep breath, close your eyes."

It's the only thing that could save me from breaking the walls I built.

 Guess what, though?

I still miss you.

I'm still your best friend you feel more distant.

I try to reach out, but you take a step back as if pushing me away.

I really want to hate you.

I want to throw you out of my life and forget about you.

Too bad I can't do that.

We've been friends for so long.

People say that they throw out things that remind them of their ex.

I can't do that.

Everything reminds me of you.

I can walk around everywhere and every single thing I see holds a memory of you.

But, don't feel so sorry.

It's mostly my fault; for falling in love too fast and too deep.

For being so blind and blocking out all of the things I didn't want to hear or see.

But, one thing is true.

You hurt me.