You find yourself unable to sleep with Lee Sungmin’s arms wrapped tightly around you; his steady breathing sends chills down your spine and makes your heart flutter with butterflies. You were beyond happy. All your life you had dreamed of this moment—of sleeping peacefully with the love of your life in a shared apartment.

Things were never better.

You sigh happily, closing your eyes and savoring the moment. Taking your right hand, you run it back and forth over his arm tenderly, your heart full to bursting with love. 

You two had never had before, and it was not something that you wanted to do for quite some time. For now, you were content with just knowing that he loved you and wanted to spend the rest of his minutes with none only but yourself. This fact alone made you the happiest person on Earth, and you couldn’t ask for more. However, if your relationship with him ever got to that point, you’d happily oblige. It would be passionate—not something out of an S&M novel. Your relationship with him wasn’t like that. On the contrary, both of you were such hopeless romantics that all you two wanted to do was snuggle up next to each other on the couch, all the while placing gentle kisses on each other’s faces. 

That was the kind of love you had always wanted, and finding someone that shared that same mindset was not an easy task. It seemed as if everyone today only sought pleasure in terms of ual . 

Over the past few years, you had dated guys that fit that description. They’d always badger you to please them, and whenever you revealed that you were a , they would always walk away from your life without looking back. 

But this time it was different. You had finally found someone that respected you enough to understand that you couldn’t just throw yourself at someone until you made absolutely sure that they were ‘the one’. He had never poked and prodded at the subject like so many others did. Instead, he stood by your decision and admitted to you that he felt the same way; that only when he had found his true soul mate would he then give himself completely to another person. 

Finding a guy like him was like hitting the jackpot. He was sweet, caring, thoughtful...but he could also be brave, strong and protective when he needed to be. He was definitely handsome, but this was not the sole reason for your strong emotions towards him. If perfect really did exist, then he was it. He was the closest thing to perfect that you had ever come across in your life. 

With these positive thoughts in mind, you find yourself drifting into a very deep sleep filled with wonderful memories of your time together with Lee Sungmin.

In the morning you find yourself alone in the bed tangled up in the white sheets around you. You lay there for a few minutes before slowly sitting up, rubbing your eyes and looking around for your boyfriend.

A faint crash emits from the kitchen, and you sit there in fear for a while before a smile appears on your lips. Sungminnie, always so clumsy.

He enters the bedroom wearing an apron, yellow ducks adorning the fabric of the white cotton.

“Hey there, sunshine,” he says, smiling sweetly as he places the breakfast tray on your lap. You look down to find two pancakes, each wearing happy faces made with chocolate chips.

“Good morning,” you say cheerfully, beaming as he comes to sit down beside you, resting his head on your shoulder.

“You look weak. You should eat,” Sungmin says, looking worryingly into your eyes. You sigh. He’s always like this—always making sure that you’re in good health. And even though you find it annoying at times, you appreciate the fact that his thoughtfulness is just one of the many things that you learned to love about him.

“You look pretty weak yourself, you know,” you say. His dark circles beneath his eyes has worsened, and his face looks as pale as a ghost. You wonder what’s wrong. He has been getting enough sleep, hasn’t he? But then again, you think, whenever I wake up he’s never in the bed with me.

“Do I?” he asks you, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek. “I think I’m just tired. Do you think I could...?” he gestures towards the plate of food in front of you.

“Of course,” you say, handing it over to him. He picks up the fork and devours one of the pancakes in seconds. Your eyebrows raise in shock.

“Sorr...fw...eh,” he chokes out, swallowing a large piece of the breakfast. You wrinkle your eyebrows in confusion, then realize that he really meant to say, “Sorry.”

“For what?” you ask. 

“Do you know what day it is today?” he asks you, a guilty look beginning to spread over his face. You frown. It was February 14th. What was so special abou—

“Oh!” you gasp, making Sungmin jump up in shock at your random outburst. “Valentine’s Day...”

“Yes,” he says, shaking his head. “And I just ate your special breakfast.” You stare at him for a few seconds before laughing.

“I don’t care, silly,” you say, smirking and kissing him tenderly on the lips. You pull away slightly so that your noses are touching. Your eyes search his own and you find fresh tears forming at his waterline. “It was the thought that counts,” you whisper.

As quick as a bolt of lightning, Sungmin suddenly throws his arms around your waist. He smacks his lips against your own with such ferocity that your heart burns with desire. He slips his tongue into the parting at your mouth, sliding it over your own as both of your heart rates quicken rapidly.

Without warning, Sungmin places his hand beneath your shirt, slowly sliding it up your back before you pull away reluctantly.

“Sungminnie,” you breathe as disappointment spreads across his face. You feel terrible regret seeping it’s way into your heart.

“I’m really sorry,” he says, crying harder. “I just ruined everything.”

“No. You didn’t,” you say firmly, your hand reaching up to his tear-stained face. “I love you. You know that, don’t you? Just not yet. I’m not ready yet.”

He sighs, wiping his face with the back of his hands. “I know, and I can accept that. I don’t think I’m ready yet either, to be honest...” he clears his throat, then sits up a little straighter. “What do you say to some milkshakes? My treat.”

You laugh. It was just like him to want to eat sweets in the morning. And it was just like you, too. “Do you even need to ask?” you say. 

He laughs along with you, then takes the empty plate and dumps it into the kitchen sink. Standing up, you stretch then begin to pick out the clothes that you’ll be wearing for this very special day. 

Both of you enter the ice cream shop holding hands. With Sungmin’s fingers laced through yours, you feel as if you’re on top of the world. As if nothing could ever bring you down. You feel protected, secure; the way he always made you feel.

After taking your orders (Sungmin a strawberry milkshake, you a vanilla), you both sit down across from another at one of the booths.

“It’s been almost three years, yet I still feel as if we’ve known each other for an entire lifetime,” Sungmin says, reaching his hand out across the table and placing it on top of yours. Your insides fill with heat at his words.

“I feel the same,” you say quietly. You had never before felt this way about anyone else. When the two of you were alone, it felt as if everything around you was irrelevant. “You’re very special to me. I hope you know that.” Tears of joy threaten to escape your eyes, but you hold them back as you see the waitress appear with your orders.

“Strawberry?” she says, looking at the two of you.

“Here,” Sungmin says, smiling warmly.

“So you’ll be the vanilla, then,” she says, placing the milkshake in front of you. As she walks away, she turns back and winks.

“She better not be winking at you,” you say. Sungmin chuckles.

“I think she was winking at the both of us. It is Valentine’s Day, after all.” 

For the rest of the time you both drink your shakes in silence, one of you occasionally commenting on something or bringing up a past memory. You always loved talking with him; you even loved the muteness that sometimes passed over your conversations. 

“I think we should get going,” you say, looking down at your empty cup. 

“I think so too,” Sungmin says.

Standing up, the both of you once again hold hands and head out into the cold winter air.

“It’s so beautiful this time of year,” you say, looking around and taking in the sight of all the snow covering the ground and branches of the trees.

“It really is,” he says, squeezing your hand tighter. “Hey, I have a surprise for you,” Sungmin suddenly says after a moment of silence.

“You do?” you ask, excitement bubbling up in your insides. 

“Follow me.” He gently tugs your hand, steering you towards a large field bordered by bare trees. The snow crunches beneath both of your feet as you make your way over to a little cabin near the edge of the forest surrounding the vast landscape.

“What are we—” 

“Shh,” he says, placing a single finger over your lips and leading you into the front hallway. He takes you to a ladder resting on the wood at the far wall at the back of the cabin. He begins to climb, and when he reaches the top you watch him open an attic door that you didn’t notice before.

Your mouth gapes open in amazement as you realize that what’s above is not an attic; however, it’s a trap door leading to the roof of the building. He helps pull you up, and the two of you gaze down at the marvelous sight before your eyes.

In the snow were capital letters made by roses that read, “Will you marry me?”

For a moment you freeze. Your lips are unable to form words as you look to and from the words in the ground to the man standing next to you. 

“I...Sungmin, I...” You suddenly knew why he had looked so tired these past few days. He had been waking up early, going out in the cold, and making this beautiful picture in the mornings when you were asleep. He did it so that you never noticed he was ever gone.

“What do you say?” he says, smiling from ear to ear.

You give up on trying to say something long and meaningful that might represent your thoughts at the exact moment. None could describe the way you feel right now. Instead, you choose just one word: “Yes.”

You jump into his arms, and he twirls you around as the two of you laugh with joy. This was finally happening, you think. I’ve found him. The man of my dreams.

“Do you think this calls for a little celebration?” he says, smirking.

That sly Devil.

“I do,” you say. And as he carries you down the latter steps and heads towards the small bedroom, you feel like you’re finally ready. Finally ready to open yourself up completely to him and begin the journey of love with none other than Lee Sungmin.

Written by: Admin A.