Siwan P.O.V

Today I can finally be with all of ZE:A. I missed everyone so much! Especially Kwanghee.

I miss his soft hands pinching my cheeks, always poking me and bothering me.

But today we have another performance of Aftermath. Have to hug Hyungshik...nooo. I'm always so awkard with everyone else, but when I'm with Kwanghee I'm a smiling fool that keeps pushing him away. Seems like today I can't really hang out with Kwanghee so much. How I missed the old days! When  we were trainees we would have barbeque outside without the managers knowing.

At the waiting room

"Siwan-ah!!!" Kwanghee shouted my name and came running to me with the biggest smile on his face. Oh, how I missed that smile!

Automatically I pushed him away with an angry face even though right now  I'm so happy to see him.

"YA! Let go of me!" I yelled at him, but he ignored me and came closer. "Siwan! You're so cute! I missed you! Haven't seen you in so long! KYEOO~~" He started pinching my cheeks like he always does.

I sighed and pretended to be annoyed, but in the inside I was so happy he missed me! I thought he would continue to bother me and talk about his day even though I was pretending to ignore him and play with my phone.

But instead he went over to Kevin. They were playing around and having fun with eachother.

It really hurt watching them.

It's been over a week and Kwanghee couldn't even stay with me longer? Is it because I'm too cold and mean to him? I thought he would get used  to my personality and know that I really love him.

All this time that I was gone, did Kwanghee always hang out with Kevin? When did they get so close?

I really have to snap out of it. Kwanghee always does that, he goes to all the members...

I tried hard to forget about it. It was nothing, Kwanghee was always playing with all the members.

I was going over the lines I had to sing, when Hyungshik suddenly popped out of no where. "Siwan hyung!! Want some chicken?" I ignored him and continued to do what I was doing.

Hyungshik was eating away happily in his own little world. Smiling like an adorable child.

Did I just call him adorable? I mean annoying...

Someone shouted "5 more minutes until performance!"

Hyungshik said "Hyung! I can't wait to hug you again! You feel so soft hyung!" I almost puked, did he just call me soft?

I want to hug my Kwanghee! But instead he just pushes me in the performance.

Performance

Once we all came out all of our fans went wild. I sang and danced perfectly, sometimes secretly glancing at Kwanghee. He was such an angel, his smile could blind me!

The hug was almost near. It was Hyungshiks part and he was waving to the fans like some prince while singing. I walked over to him, minwoo pushing me, I slowly put my arms around his shoulders  but this time, he wraps his arms around my waist and reached in for a kiss. I quickly pushed him away and turned around, and went back to dancing, and realised when I turned Kwanghee was facing us with a huge smile.

I tried not to get distracted and continued the song perfectly. We finished Body to body, Pheonix, and were off the stage.

We finally went back to our dorm done with our hectic schedule. All I wanted was some sleep. Suddenly someone came running to me.

"Kwanghee?" I started smiling and turned around.

But instead I found Hyungshik. "Hyung you have to hug like this!" He wrapped his arms tightly around me. "Why didn't you hug me back?" He was puting so cutely and squeezed me even tighter.

His body was too close! My heart was pounding. Why did it feel so different than all the times Kwanghee hugged me?

We were just frozen like that, my arms against my sides.

I saw Kwanghee walking towards us like the happiest person with Kevin talking happily to each other. I didn't want Kwanghee to misunderstand what me and Hyungshik were doing so I tried to break free of Hyungshiks hug, but he was too strong.

Kwanghee saw  us and started teasing us because of our strange hug.

"You know hyung is really solild now? He has abs now!" Hyungshik told Kwanghee with a huge smile on his face. Suddenly Kwanghee pushed Hyungshik aside and hugged me.

His hug was so different than  Hyungshik's, but I coudn't figure out why. I blushed madly and pushed him away. If he holds me like that for one more second I would have fainted from happiness. I didn't want to do that.

"I want to feel your body too!" Kwanghee yelled at reached for my shirt, but  I quickly dodged his hand and walked away.

I was finally in my room away from all the chaos and hugging. I was so tired. Why can't everyone just leave me alone?

I felt so embarresed, why did they all want to hug me?

And how could Hyungshik still continue to hug me even with Kwanghee and Kevin were watching. I didn't think  he would want to do that right in front of his Kevin. I thought Kevin and Hyungshik were together.

Then I finally realised something, when Kwanghee saw us he still had such a huge smile. Didn't he feel jealous at all? Didn't he want to take me away from Hyungshik?

He probably didn't even care one bit. I thought he would feel hurt but it was just the opposite.

Even in the performance, he witnessed the deep hug and that Hyungshik was about to kiss me. Yet he had no reaction at all.

If I were to see him hugging someone else I would be completely angry and hurt. But I guess he didn't feel anything at all.

Am I overreacting? Maybe he was jealous in the inside. No, I doubt that. 

He's always with Kevin now. Should I just give up on him?