"Just relax, you're going to do just fine," Lin's mother said coaxingly as she her daughter's hair. Lin took a deep breath, placing her palms flat against her rib cage and breathing deeply. Out on the other side of the curtain, a moderately-sized crowd of people had all gathered to hear her give her speech about racial issues in the Olympic Games for the Changsha Spech and Debate Competition. Small crowd or large, Lin had never been a great public speaker, but her teachers and parents had coerced her into taking the competion on anyway, saying that it would look good on her college applications.

"Okay," she said, taking another deep breath.

"Are your friends coming to watch you?" her mother asked, and Lin shook her head.

"Liang and Jie are here, I think, but Yixing has an audition to go to so I made him skip out on watching me," she answered. Her mother pat her shoulders. 

"Ah, I think he would've liked watching you give your speech," the woman said. "But it's your turn now. Go! Good luck!"

Lin gave her mother one more reassuring smile before straightening out her posture and walking out on the stage. The clacking sound of her short heels on the ahrdwood was the only sound in that hallowed hall and the microphone caught and magnified every little sound coming out of he rmouth. But Lin straightened up and put on her most confident smile and spoke into the microphone: "Good morning, ladies and gentleman," she started out, holding her head high and scanning the crowd surreptitiously for the seats where her family and friends would be sitting. In the very corner of the auditorium, she caught sight of Liang and Jie and her father and grandmother all sitting together, giving her a thumbs-up for encouragement. 

She continued speaking, talking about the woes of racial discrimination and qualifying a few issues here and there surrounding the racial issues she was discussing. She used words such as "integration" and "culture shock" to better illustrate her topic and she really felt that she was connecting with the crowd in a way. As she spoke, she looked over where her friends were sitting and tried to keep herself from laughing at their antics in the middle of her speech. Liang was repeatedly making faces at her while Jie, who tied her hair so that it looked like a bun perched exactly at the top of her head, bobbed her head around. But Lin suddenly caught sight of someone sitting beside Liang who wasn't there before.

Yixing? She paused slightly in her speech and squinted to get a better look at the boy sitting next to Liang and she hoped to God that it wasn't Yixing sitting there.

But it was. Lin felt her heart tightening up and her mind reeling. What the hell do you think you're doing? she thought in her head. Yixing was supposed to be at an important audition for JYP Entertainment. If he was here, he was obviously missing it. Just what in the world does he think he's doing putting his future in jeopardy like this? Yixing caught her gaze and he only smiled absentmindedly, looking dazed and perfectly blissful despite being late to his audition, obviously unaware of just how angry she was at him suddenly for ditching JYP. Lin took a deep breath and charged forward in her speech, speaking a little extra fast in an effort to get the event over with as fast as possible. 

The crowd erupted into aapplause and Lin gave short curt bows as she exited the stage. She barely had time to greet her mother, who wanted to congratulate her, before Lin ran out to the front entrance of the auditorium. Liang, Jie, and Yixing had all gathered there to congratulate her.

"Hey, Lin!" Liang said, bubbly and ethusiastic as usual. "You were killin' it up there, seriously! Got everyone in the room hanging onto your every word."

"I swear," Jie joined in. "You should be like, the president or something, you would be so good at giving speeches! Your voice just has this commanding quality--,"

"Hey, how about a high-five?" Liang said, holding his hand up as Lin approached, but instead, she dashed right past him and walked straight up to Yixing. Yixing put on a happy smile for her and outstretched his arms to welcome her into a hug.

"Congratualtions--," he started to say, but Lin just grabbed the lapels of his shirt. 

"Just what in the world do you think you're doing here?!" she demanded, and Yixng's eyes grew with surprise.

"Just... supporting you?" he pitched.

"What about your auditon?! You're going to miss it! Yixing, you idiot, I told you to just ditch me and go! Now go!" Lin turned Yixing to face the exit gate and began to push him towards it. 

"I just wanted to hear you give the speech!" he defended himself. But Lin bit her lip and continued pushing him. 

"Yixing, this is your dream," she said. "Forget about my speech! Go do what you have to do! I can wait, but JYP can't! Your audition, you're going to be late, you're going to miss it!" 

"Wait," he said, skidding to a halt. "I... thought you'd be happy that I came to see you--,"

Lin smiled. "I am but I'd be even happier if you forgot about me for one minute and thought about yourself for a change. I thought you said this audition was everyhting you ever dreamed of? Go! I want you to go after it! Now, go!"

"I wanted to be with you," he said. "Even if it means missing the audition because... I like you more than the audition, anyway."

"Well, we can be together after the audition. I want what's best for you, too."

Yixing reached out and inched her cheek a little before leaning over and kissing the exact same spot he pinched. "Alright, alright, I'll go," he said. "Thank you." And without another word, he turned around and ran across the street and in the direction of the audition. Lin blushed a little at his kiss, but she then started fidgeting with her hands, praying that he would get there in time. Unable to bear not knowing, she ran towards her parents who agreed to drive her to the audition. Yixing had been dedicated enough to watch her speech in spite of his audition. Surely, she could do the same for him. 

♦♦♦♦♦

"Wait, please!" Yixing said, approaching the man in the suit with a desperate tone. "I... I know I'm over an hour late for my appointment. I can explain. I'm here now and I'm ready! If you would give me just five minutes--,"

The man snatched his arm away from Yixing and flashed him a look of pure hate before making a point of showing Yixing the key before locking the doors to the agency. "I'm sorry, young man, but there are many things we take seriously in this industry and punctuality is one of them. I booked your appointment, you didn't show, the auditions are now over. Your application has been declined. Good day--,"

"What?" Yixing said, his eyes widening in utter devastation at the news. He reached for the man's arm again. "But... I sent in the video and a demo, I filled out the forms, I got a phone call from an agent already. Please, sir, I won't take that long, i only need a few minutes to show you."

"I don't have a few minutes," the man said, checking his watch and snatching away from Yixing again. "The appointments were booked in a way that no time would be wasted. You wasted my time once, I don't need to waste anymore."

"You don't understand," Yixing said, his voice cracking. He followed the man over to his car, unaware of Lin and her parents arriving at the same place somewhere behind him, observing the entire ordeal. "Sir, please!" he said, holding onto the door before the talent scout could drive away. "Please, please, just five minutes, I promise I won't waste your time anymore. But this audition is everyhting I've ever prepared for, everything I've ever--"

"Everything you've ever dreamed of, the only thing you are passionate about in your life, and you've worked all your years getting this far. Yes, yes, I've heard it all before, too many times, in fact and too many times have hundreds been turned away. I am sorry, young man, but this is how life and this industry works. If you are too weak, it will break you. Now please, let me be on my way. We've already selected from amongst the auditions, we don't need anymore. Goodbye."

The talent scout slammed the car door and rolled the tinted windows up so that Yixing was no longer staring at the man but at his reflection. And the car swiftly drove away. Yixing didn't know how to feel. In a way he couldn't feel anything, just a dull numbness that was taking over his body. Was that really it? His chance at a future. He was just a little bit late and already it driving off and unwilling to give him a second chance. All his years, music had been the only thing that truly spoke to Yixing, the only way he ever felt truly like himself. And once he was able to embrace it, he knew... he knew that this was exactly what he was meant to do for the rest of his life. But what now?

"Yixing," said a soft voice from behind him, and Yixing only turned and gave Lin a dazed look. "What did he say?" 

A pointless question in truth. Just the look on his should have told Lin that whatever had transpired between Yixing and the talent scout, it wasn't good. She was so used to seeing Yixing smiling like an idiot and playing his guitar with a wide grin and dancing to music with a charismatic expression. But the look on his face now was one that she hadn't seen before. He looked entirely hopeless and beyond help and it scared her. He looked like a hollow doll, his little soul having fled. Behind her, Lin's parents looked on Yixing with the same regretful look of sadness. Yixing suddenly looked awaw and swallowed. 

"It's okay," he said softly and tried, and failed, to smile. "There are more important things."

"Oh my gosh," Lin breathed and she rushed over to Yixing and put her arms around him. "I'm sorry. This is my fault. I shouldn't have told you about the speech contest until after the audition. I pressured you into it, I'm so sorry."

"Hey," he said, her back. "No it's not. Don't you dare say it is."

"But it is. God, why are you such an idiot, I told you not to worry about me--,"

"Can't be helped," he said. "It's okay, Lin, it's okay. There's nothing to feel about it. It's done. We just have to move on."

"But I thought you said this was your dream?" she said. "What are we going to do now?"

"There are other paths to take, even if I don't take this one," he said. "Don't feel sorry for me. I don't want anyone to worry about me, no one, you hear? Don't go feeling sad for my sake. I'd rather take care of you."

Lin scoffed. "Someday your odd sense of pride is going get you in trouble," she said. Yixing smiled. 

"Well, you'll be there for me when it does," he said. Yixing pulled away from the hug and was only a little bit surprised and disappointed to see that Lin had been the one crying instead of him. He hated seeing her cry, seeing anyone cry for that matter, especially over things that concerned him. UNlike what Lin said to him, it wasn't necessarily pride that kept him from asking for help; rather, he hated inconveniencing others and causing them to worry. He took her hand and began to lead her back over to where her parents stood waiting for the both of them.

"Hey, no crying," he said. "It's just an audition. At least I got to hear your speech."

Lin reached out and slapped his shoulder. "You fool," she said. Yixing justs iled lightly at her, not even remembering his failed audition anymore. Once he was in the car with her and her parents again, he talked freely with her mother and father, assuring the both of them that he would be fine. But Lin just stared at Yixing's face, watching the muscles of his face forming different expressions with each word. She watched the way his dimples appeared and disappeared with each fleeting smile. She took in his pale skin, his soft black hair, and his playful eyes that always looked deeper than they were. And she wanted to kiss him, but restrained herself, remembering that she was in the presence of her parents. But still, there was something different in Yixing, something in him that had shifted and his eyes were beginning to manifest it. Deny it as he might, Lin knew exactly how heartbroken he was over his missed audition. And again, deny it as he might, she knew that he would not dare call her out for the blame even when she knew it so clearly. Yixing missed it because his worries concerning you were hanging over like a heavy dead deer on his shoulders. The red string that connected you two was too short; it was keeping him away from all that he wanted.

She should have known from the beginning how different they were: not in personality or compatibility, but seeing it now, it should have been quite obvious to Lin that she and Yixing were on two very different sides of a river, each with their own paths to follow, their trains to catch. She was never meant to have Yixing for so long. He was bound for bigger and better things, things that transcended her own ordinariness. Yixing was going to be great someday. But if that was ever going to happen, she first had to be separate from him. For who was she to suppress him, keep him away from the things he was meant for. Changsha was too small for Yixing. And Lin knew exactly what she had to do.

♦♦♦♦♦

Lin dwelled on her thoughts for weeks which eventually turned into months. And despite the negativity she was feeling, she couldn't help but fall further in love with Yixing as time went by. It wasn't long before Yixing attracted the attention of another talent scout from an even bigger company: SM Entertainment. He was ecstatic, as expected, and he would rave about the chance to his beloved girlfriend whenever he could, and on the day of the audition, he hugged her, pinched her cheeks and then kissed them, and then promised to take her out for bubble tea if it went well. When he returned later bearing good news and telling her about how the judges thought he had potential and wanted him to go to Korea, Lin knew that the time had come. 

It was wintry night when Yixing finally got around to packing his bags for Korea. He was due to leave in less than two weeks, and his priority was making sure he had everything in order. He did have a nasty habit of leaving things behind and being generally forgetful and absent-minded. Even his mother was worried that he would leave his passport or forget his flight number or his gate. "I'm kind of hurt that you have so little faith in me, Ma," he said and his mother slapped his back playfully in reply. 

"Just don't forget to wash your clothes every week and don't forget to call us every night and don't forget your passport and don't forget to take your vitamins and to eat three square meals a day, four if you're really hungry--,"

"Yeah yeah, I got it, I won't forget. Thank you," he said. His mother listed off a few more items that were not to be forgotten and he promised he would remember. Finally, she decided to leave him alone to pack. Yixing smiled after his mother, thinking about how much he would miss her in Korea. He made amental note to pack some pictures later, but knowing how forgetful he could be, decided to grab the albums and take a few then and there. Going through the albums, it was difficult to choose just a few pictures because there were so many good ones. But he decided to get the few that represented his family and friends best. 

One was a picture of his mother and father in their teenaged years. One was a picture they had taken on one of their anniversary trips to Beijing. Another was a family photo. Another was picture of he and Liang at a swimming pool. And finally, one was the most recent picture in the stack. It was selca he had taken with Lin before they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Nevertheless, it was still his favorite. But his smile was suddenly replaced with a frown when he realized that he still didn't know what he would with her. He was leaving for a very long time and would not be able to see her. He had thought before to let her go, that it was unfair of him to ask her to wait. But the more he thought about Lin being away from him, of her being with anyone other than him, the more sick he felt. He would have none of it. He loved her too much. 

The phone suddenly rang and he picked it up in a hurry. "Oh, hey, Lin," he said, smiling. "Funny, I was just about to call you. It's almost 7, but hey if you wanna go see that movie earlier, I'm okay with it."

Lin's voice sounded strangely calm and yet urgent at the same time. He wondered what was wrong. "What?" he asked. "Oh... no movie then? Where are you? Why are you in front fo the school? Yeah, I can meet you there. Okay... I'll see you later. Hey, wait," he said. "I love you."

There was a staunch pause in her voice and he could hear her breath catching on the other end of the call. "I love you, too," she said, and then she promptly hung up. 

♦♦♦♦♦

"Hey," Yixing said, walking over to Lin, who sat on a bench in front of their old school. He handed her the cup of hot chocolate he had bought for her before showing up, but she took it hesitantly and instead of drinking of it, she looked down at it regretfully. "Have you been waiting a long time? It's kind of cold. Shouldn't we go inside?"

"No, it's fine," she said. "I won't take long."

Yixing raised his eyebrow at her before scoffing. "You're being so serious," he said, and he reached out to pinch her cheeks again, but he eluded his touch. Yixing's hand hung in the air awkwardly for a few seconds before he realized that something was terribly wrong and he drew his hand back. He leaned back against the chair and prepared himself for a talk. "Do you have something to say to me?" he asked. Lin swallowed a knot in and thought about everything she wanted to say. She thought about the long, dramatic dialogue she had planned in her head, the reasons she wanted to give. But the minute she turned and looked at his face, she forgot everything.

She cleared in an attempt to mask the tears that were threatening to spill. Yixing reached out for her hand, but she wouldn't let him have it. "I thought about this for a really long time," she said, her voice already breaking. Yixing's heart began to beat faster, knowing exactly what she was going to say and unable to believe that she really would say it, his ears unwilling to hear it. 

"And I planned so much to say to you, but in the end I can only say what it is that I want to," Lin said.

Yixing buried his face in his hands and then eventually moved them to cover his ears. "No, I am not hearing this," he said, to himself than to her. He faced her. "You're... not going to say what I think you are. Are you?"

"Don't talk," she said. "Just let me do the talking right now, it'll be easier."

"What's easy about this?" Yixing blurted. "Why now? Why are we making these pointless complications now of all times?"

"Why not now?" Lin answered. "It's dragged on long enough don't you think?"

"What has?" Yixing asked. "Us?"

"That's enough beating around the bush," she said. "Yixing... let's break up--"

"No," he said. "Where is this coming from all of a sudden? There's... no basis for this whatsoever."

"Yes there is," Lin argued. "For god's sake, you're going to Seoul!" 

"Well, what does that matter?" Yixing argued. "I know it's faraway but ten miles, thirty miles, a hundred miles, that doesn't change anything about us. We're still... we'll still be together in our own way."

"It won't be the same."

"Nothing ever stays the same. But... Lin, no, I'm not about to just give up on us like this because of a small bump in our road. What kind of person would that make me?"

"I told you your pride would get you in trouble someday."

"This isn't about just me," he said. "Look at me. Look at me," he said and Lin turned her face towards him, her eyes red-rimmed and teary. "Don't worry about what will happen to us when I go to Korea, okay? We're both strong enough."

"That's not everything," Lin said, turning away from him again. "You don't understand."

"I don't," Yixing said. 

"Please," Lin said. "Can we please just end it here and now? I wanted... a clean parting and if we keep talking back and forth like this, nothing will happen."

"What do you want to happen?" Yixing said. "You don't honestly want us to be apart do you? Look at me. Do you want to leave me that badly? What did I do?"

"Nothing," lin tried to answer.

"Tell me!" he said. "Tell me what I did or what happened. I don't understand, we're doing so well together and this out of nowhere? Whatever I did, Lin, I'm sorry, I won't do it again. I won't miss our dates for auditions anymore, I'll spend more time with you rather than at the music room, anything--,"

"That's exactly it, though," she said, a fresh round of tears wetting her face. "You're... you have so much going for you, Yixing, and..."

"I can give all of that up if it means I can keep you," Yixing confessed, himself beginning to cry. "Why are you doing this to me? Just an hour ago on the phone you said you loved me."

Lin bit her lip. "I know I did," she said. "I didn't lie... but that's why I'm doing it."

"You're not making any sense!" he said. "Suddenly putting a stop to all the happy times we've had. Why? Whatever it is that's making you do this, we can both get over it, I can be faithful to you in Korea and I'll call you every night and somehow we can still be together even when we're apart. I can work harder, I can accomodate the both of us. I want to take care of you."

"I don't want you to take care of me, Yixing!" she suddenly blurted out, her body racked with sobs at this point. "I don't want you thinking about me anymore, or taking care of me. I want to you to think about yourself for a change and worry about your own things and not have to accomodate me or make any changes for my own sake. You can deny it all you want, but that day you were rejected by the company was because of me, because you were too worried over me to do anything for yourself. So forget about me. I'm not important. Go to Korea, train, be famous, and don't, not even once, give another thought about... me."

Yixing stared at her for a long time, wondering how it was he had missed all this about her. He had always known she was a spirited girl, but he did not know that she was this strong. "You're breaking my heart,"

Lin covered her face and cried for a bit. "Yixing," she said. "You and I belong on two separate sides of a leve," she said, her words distorted by the violent fits of hiccups that came with her incessant sobbing. "And one of us has to put ourself down in order to raise the other up."

Her words cut through him like a serrated knife. And the worst part was that she was entirely right and he was angry about it. "I didn't lie on the phone," she said. "I said exactly what I meant and meant it with my whole heart," and Lin looked at him. "You have too much wings to stay on the ground with the rest of us. And I love you too much to keep you caged. That's why I'm doing this, Yixing. Because you deserve so much better than what Changsha has for you. You're too good to turn out ordinary like the rest of us. My climbing can't reach your heights; I don't deserve someone as good as you. You can have much more than this."

Yixing turned away from her and looked down at the ground. Was this the price he had to pay for fame? To have one dream, he had to give up the other? He took a deep breath. "But I want you."

Lin looked at Yixing with her jaw dropped. She sighed deeply, closed her eyes and just shook her head. "I am sorry," she said, standing up. "But I can't let you make the wrong decision. Goodbye." Yixing sat alone on the bench watching her retreating form for what seemed like all eternity. Each step took her further and further away from her and yet his heart was too heavy to let him chase after her. And up to the day, he has never stopped regretting letting her walk away from him. And now he was sitting alone a too-brightly lit restroom int he airport, tryingas desperately as he could to record a song without his voice breaking. 

But just the thought of her made him want to run clear out of the airport and straight home. The more he thought about his Lin, his precious girl, the more he thought what she had said, the more he thought about how incredibly wrong she was about herself. It was he who was undeserving of her. The receptionists called out the boarding of his flight, and he tucked his phone away to join the other passengers. Before boarding, he looked out the windows of the airport at Changsha, the dazzling lights and the great city. Changsha would always mean Lin to him; the bravest and kindest girl he knew. And someday, he wanted to raise her up, too. Once in Korea, he made a promise to himself and to her: he would be great one day, he would be famous. He would make her proud of him, and he would not ever let her sacrifice go to waste. 

Yixing knew exactly had he had to do.