Four years and Eleven Months Ago

After Siwon’s encounter with Kyuhyun, the younger headed to his house and locked himself in his room, in need for serious thinking. He was lying on his bed, eyes focused on the ceiling and his mind rewinding his earlier conversation.

‘At least not now’, was what stuck the most in his head. Maybe he was too hurt that he was rejected twice, or maybe he knew Kyuhyun meant it. Either way, Siwon had come a long way to just give up like that.

Siwon was certain that being Cho Kyuhyun and having his talent and strength, the latter would rise again from his accident in no time. Siwon believed that Kyuhyun must have been going through a lot of stress from his physical therapy to watching his band mates performing without him, and so he was going to support him no matter what. Even if that meant giving him the space he needed so he would focus on his goals, and not have his emotions mixed up.

So from the day Siwon and Kyuhyun talked about how the latter couldn’t be involved in a relationship for now, the younger gave him full space. He once again, was throwing it all into his studies but he did check on Kyuhyun once in a while just to be sure he wasn’t needing anything, well he wished Kyuhyun would someday ask for something, anything between his strict recovery. However, to Siwon’s dismay, it never happened.

...

Four years and Eight Months Ago

Kyuhyun was almost fully recovered and done with his rehabilitation to which he, along with his band mates, his family and mostly Siwon, were very grateful for.

Super Junior were supposed to have a tour around Asia for their latest album, which was a bit delayed because of the accident, but SS2 was already planned out and the guys couldn’t be more excited.

During the past two months, Kyuhyun’s participation in many of Super Junior’s activities was limited as he appeared in some of the game shows. However, his injuries only allowed him to compete in some of the activities. On the last day of his physical therapy and when the doctor informed his family and SM that Kyuhyun’s condition progressed a lot, the latter made a guest appearance on Star King which he performed a duet and despite his injuries, Kyuhyun wowed the audience with his mind blowing vocals.

A week later when the show was aired, Siwon made sure to watch it and when Kyuhyun’s part was on, Siwon’s tears didn’t stop flowing for the rest of the day.

‘Money is not an issue if I can sleep listening to Kyuhyun’s voice’. Well even though Siwon wasn’t that rich, but he had a trust fund and if he had too, he was willing to work twenty four seven if he was allowed to hear Kyuhyun’s voice every night. He already fell for Kyuhyun’s sleepy voice the first time he saw him, but when he actually heard his singing? Well let’s just say if he was a woman, his ovaries would’ve exploded.

Siwon was truly a huge fan of Kyuhyun’s sensual voice, especially when he had that wet dream and Kyuhyun was under him, which required him several weeks to get over it.

...

Anyway, being a stubborn maknae, Kyuhyun insisted on joining his hyungs for the tour. He was determined to get back on his feet and he wasn’t going to let anything stop him. Not even Siwon.

“You can’t do that! You’re still injured”

“Siwon! It’s none of your business”

“Yes it is. I care about you and I don’t want you to get a relapse”

“You’re not my lov... mother! So mind your own business Siwon”

When Siwon found out about Kyuhyun wanting to join the tour through Donghae, anger shot all over his body because he couldn’t imagine how someone who just had a serious accident and nearly died, could go back to do normal activities in six months. Sure he knew Kyuhyun was strong and could get back on his feet in no time, but not a tour, not the most exhausting thing where he would have to be flying from one country to another and would have to do a lot of rehearsals and maybe even dance choreography.

Siwon couldn’t accept that. That was why, once he heard the news, he headed directly to the dorm and was now in Kyuhyun’s room arguing and trying to put some sense into the older's head.

“I’m not your mother or your lover, I know that. But let’s be logical here, your health is very important not only to you, but to your family, to your hyungs ...to me”

Siwon's eyes were pleading, looking at how Kyuhyun, who was folding his arms over his chest, had a pout on his perfect lips while irritably gazing at him.

“Siwon, I’m well aware of that, and I’m taking really good care of myself. Besides, I won’t be there alone, my hyungs would be with me twenty four seven”

Siwon bent his head down knowing exactly that their talk was going nowhere since he was dealing with the most stubborn maknae ever.

“Why am I even explaining myself to you? Siwon, I told you nothing will happen between us so why are you still caring about me? You seriously should move on”

That made Siwon snap his head up and stare at Kyuhyun’s face intensively. Move on? Seriously? Does he think it’s that easy?

“You really want me to move on?”

Siwon asked, taking a few steps forward and causing Kyuhyun to step back avoiding the proximity.

“I-It’s not what I want. It’s about what you should do” Kyuhyun stuttered at first but managed to continue his sentence normally, trying his best to not think of how Siwon’s black orbs were sending shivers into his whole body.

Kyuhyun’s knee hit the bed, and Siwon had to catch him before he fell backward. However, Kyuhyun’s arm also pulled on Siwon’s jacket causing the two to collapse into each other on the bed.

Kyuhyun’s breath hitched as he felt Siwon’s body flush on his. His mind told him to move but his body wasn’t responding. Siwon on the other hand, who was luckily supporting his body on his elbow or else he would’ve crashed the figure under him, was trying to calm his pounding heart, because he really thought it may explode from its ribcage if he stayed in that position.

Eyes locked on each other, breaths mixing together, Siwon had the perfect chance to kiss Kyuhyun and devour his lips. However, he didn’t. The fear of enjoying Kyuhyun’s lips and getting rejected after it for the third time was nagging him. His heart as well advised him not to kiss the older because it already went through many heart aches lately.

Kyuhyun unconsciously closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of Siwon’s body and maybe or maybe not expecting the younger to kiss him. However, instead of a kiss on the lips, Siwon leaned down and pecked Kyuhyun’s forehead before whispering...

“Just be careful please”

Kyuhyun’s eyes snapped open as a pink blush decorated his face. He cursed himself mentally for closing his eyes and expecting something to happen.

What the hell am I doing? Wasn’t I the one who said I don’t want to be with him? How can I be so selfish?

Kyuhyun was pulled back from his train of thoughts when he felt something warm dropped on his cheek. His eyes widened when he found out it was Siwon’s teardrop. Kyuhyun scolded himself knowing exactly that he was the reason behind Siwon’s tears, he was about to say something but Siwon pulled away and immediately stormed out of the room.

...

Kyuhyun was left alone lying on his bed and questioning what just happened. He was worried about Siwon but he also was mad at himself for causing the other’s pain. He immediately rose from the bed and walked out of his room to catch up with Siwon.

He checked the living room but there was no one there. Kyuhyun figured Siwon may have already left but his eyes caught the younger’s shoes at the entrance indicating he was still somewhere around the dorm. Kyuhyun walked in to the balcony through the kitchen hoping to catch Siwon there but it was empty.

‘If I want to cry, where would I run to?’ Kyuhyun asked himself, and decided to check the roof.

Kyuhyun stepped into the rooftop and was welcomed by a cool breeze of air playing with his hair. His eyes wander around and as he took a few steps forward, he could see Siwon curled up next to the small dome in the middle of the rooftop. Kyuhyun approached him quietly and took a seat on the floor beside him.

Siwon was immersed in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the footsteps coming to his direction. However, when he sensed someone sitting beside him, he shifted his eyes that were blurry with tears to the side, and when he noticed it was Kyuhyun, he quickly wiped away his tears.

“Is everything okay?” Kyuhyun asked after a few seconds when Siwon's sobs turned into sniffs.

“I’m sorry”

“For what?” Kyuhyun asked confused, knowing that he was the one who needed to apologize.

“Everything?”

“Why are you crying Siwon? Is it because of my words earlier? Because if that’s the case then I’m re—“ Kyuhyun started to explain but Siwon cut him off.

“It’s not about that hyung”

“Then what is it about?”

Siwon was appreciating the concern Kyuhyun was giving him but he was hesitant to tell the reason behind his tears since it was his first time talking about it. He turned his head to look at Kyuhyun and when he saw the comforting look on the latter’s face, he took a deep breath before he started talking.

“It’s about the accident. Well not yours exactly but...”

Kyuhyun’s face tensed upon the mention of the accident but he didn’t let it show that much.

“My mom died because of a car accident as well” Siwon paused as he was yet again fighting the tears that threatened to fall, and Kyuhyun felt bad about it because Donghae already told him about his family's story.

“I wasn’t there you know. I was only eleven years old but I would’ve wanted to be there with her. Donghae was lucky enough to be by her side until her last day. I never got the chance”

Tears couldn’t stay restricted anymore. They flew down the younger’s face and as much as he wiped them, new strains would stream down again.

Kyuhyun’s heart sank at the view. He had no idea that Siwon felt that way. He couldn’t imagine what the younger had been through that time or now that he was reminded by his mother. Heechul already told him that Siwon had been staying at the hospital until he woke up, it must’ve been really hard for him. To add to that, Kyuhyun had to break the younger’s heart by his harsh words about moving on and how they couldn’t be together.

Kyuhyun scooted closer and stretched his arm to wrap around Siwon’s back, soothing him and whispering comforting words.

“It must’ve been hard, but you were only eleven Siwon. You wouldn’t have been able to handle it”

“They were supposed to come live with us hyung! I waited and waited but they never did. I was young and I needed my mom but she had to die because of that awful driver”

“I’m so sorry. I never lost someone, so I can’t possibly imagine what it’s like”

Siwon rested his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder because he started to feel dizzy with all the crying.

“And then you had the accident, and I thought I lost you. I was breaking inside as I waited for you to wake up. No matter how I wanted to believe you’re strong and could survive, I couldn’t help not thinking of bad things” Siwon’s hand moved to clench on Kyuhyun’s collar shirt, as he sobbed more. Kyuhyun's hand moved to caress Siwon’s hair before pressing a kiss on the latter’s temple.

After Siwon managed to calm himself a bit, he pulled away and stared at Kyuhyun. The latter was amazed by how Siwon’s eyes were sparkling due to the tears but he didn’t want Siwon to cry anymore, he felt hurt seeing him like that.

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself, please Kyu hyung” Siwon pleaded in a low tone. His hand still clenching on Kyuhyun’s shirt but the grip had loosened up.

“I will. I promise” Kyuhyun assured and Siwon smiled. It was a sad one but it was enough for Kyuhyun at that moment.

“Hyung, aren’t you cold? How can you come out with only that thin layer? I’m sorry you must be freezing!” Siwon freaked out as he started blabbing. He took his jacket and wrapped it around Kyuhyun’s back before the latter could utter a word.

Kyuhyun indeed was wearing thin clothes. However, the warmth he got from Siwon’s body was enough for him to not feel cold. Not that he would ever say that to the younger, he was better off not knowing.

“Thanks. I’m okay, don’t worry”

Kyuhyun could sense Siwon’s intense gaze on him so to avoid any misunderstandings, he decided to retreat to his room.

“I’ll be going now” Kyuhyun declared before standing up on his feet, he tried to remove the jacket to return it to Siwon, but the latter motioned with his hand for him to keep it.

Kyuhyun had noticed how Siwon’s face turned sad again, but he knew he had to leave. However, as he was about to take a step, Siwon’s voice stopped him.

“I’ll wait hyung” Kyuhyun gave him a puzzled look and Siwon continued “You said you’re not ready for a relationship right now, that you can’t accept my love because you have other priorities. Well, I’ll wait. No matter how long it takes, I’ll always wait for you, so please … just please … stop asking me to move on”

Kyuhyun froze in his place after those words. His heart was beating fast and his body was slightly trembling and it wasn’t because of the cold. He didn’t know what to say so he just nodded instead. He nodded and then stepped out of the roof top, leaving Siwon sitting on the floor, eyes closed, trying to recall Kyuhyun’s embrace.

...

A week later, it was time for Super Junior members to leave Seoul. They were all gathered at the dorm and waiting for manager hyung to pick them up.

Out of nowhere, Siwon came in running to the dorm. Everyone was startled as they saw Siwon bending down and resting his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

“Siwon-ah! What’s wrong?” Donghae asked a little bit concerned about what made Siwon come rushing until he was out of breath.

“Everything’s fine hyung. I just need to talk to Kyu hyung”

Now everyone was confused to what Siwon wanted to say to Kyuhyun except Heechul who winked at the younger as he nudged Kyuhyun’s arm with his elbow, making them both blush as if they just committed a crime.

“Fine” Kyuhyun then walked past his hyungs and Siwon as he headed to the balcony which had become like their secret place where all emotions were revealed.

Siwon stepped in after him a couple of seconds later. He nervously smiled as he handed Kyuhyun an envelope.

The latter took a step back and refused to take it, thinking it was a love letter or something like that, and Siwon had to laugh heartily at Kyuhyun’s reaction.

“It’s not what you think. Are you that afraid it may be a love letter?”

Kyuhyun blushed at his childish act and the way he jumped to conclusions, and so he had to turn his face away from Siwon to hide it.

“It’s from Med School. It’s my acceptance letter… hopefully”

Kyuhyun’s eyes turned to face Siwon again as he was surprised that Siwon wanted to go to med school. He knew the guy was a genius, but he never thought he could be a doctor.

“Med school? Really?”

“Why so shocked? I wanna be a doctor, then a surgeon later on”

“How come?”

“Mostly because of you” Kyuhyun's eyes widened at that response but before he could ask anything Siwon added.

“Because I want to save people. I’m tired of people dying around me, especially my loved ones”

Kyuhyun had to smile at Siwon’s pure imagination and dream.

“Well you should be the one to open it, why me?”

“Please, I don’t think I can. I’m too nervous”

“What about Hae hyung?”

Siwon was getting frustrated at Kyuhyun pretending to be ignorant “I want you to open it”

Kyuhyun sighed as he stretched his hand to take the envelope. He slowly opened it and silently started reading what was inside.

Siwon’s eyes kept focusing on Kyuhyun's orbs and the way they moved from one side to the other, reading intently each word that was written. There was no expression on the older’s face and Siwon was starting to get anxious. However, just as he was about to ask Kyuhyun to hurry up, a wide smile curved on the latter’s face.

“You did it! You’re in!”

Kyuhyun was so excited even more than Siwon himself. He started jumping up and down along with the younger and then he launched himself on Siwon’s body.

First they were rocking their bodies together in joy, but a few seconds later, they both realized what they were doing and the rocking stopped. However, they didn’t pull away. Instead the rocking turned into a tight hug from both men.

“I’m happy for you Siwon” Kyuhyun whispered next to Siwon’s ear.

“I’m going to miss you hyung” Siwon tightened his arms as he whispered back.

They stood in that position for a few seconds more before Kyuhyun finally pulled away.

“You’re a good guy Siwon”

“Is that a good thing? I mean if you’re into bad guys, I can be one badass!”

Kyuhyun started laughing at Siwon while the other was clearly amused as he stood frozen watching that smile that he was going to miss so bad.

“Don’t forget about me hyung” Siwon said pouting making Kyuhyun blush.

“I’ll see you soon Siwon. Focus on your studies!” Kyuhyun warned him before walking to the balcony entrance. He e last time and muttered “I’m not really into bad guys” and continued walking before Siwon can even manage to process what he just heard.

...

The Present Day

“Andrew[*], why did you decide to be a doctor?”

Siwon’s attendant asked him once, when the interns were gathering at the hospital’s teaching room.

“Because I want to be there for my loved ones”

“That’s a bold choice to be basing your career on, don’t you think?”

“There are some close people who I lost, and others who I almost lost. All I ever thought about those times was how bad I wanted to save them. That’s my motivation Sir”

Some WonKyu interactions for my lovely readers XD

(*Andrew is Siwon's english name)