The press is all rounded up and cameras of mediamen are beginning to flash in every direction. The members are all in one line doing their signature introduction pose. The leader started to make his speech and the members listened attentively to him. Sadness is all painted in their faces. After that they all hugged their leader and whispered encouraging words to each other.

From afar, away from the crowd, a single person was watching this. She contented herself in this spot, hidden behind a tree in the secluded area away from the crowd. Like the others, she was also grieving over his departure. However, the pain that she felt cannot be compared to anyone present in that crowd. The pain in her heart was pounding twice the intensity of theirs. It was crushing her.

She was envious of them because unlike her, they have filled those final moments with precious memories. They could hug him and wish him luck whereas her, she could just watch from behind. Because no matter how much she desired to be there, she could not be anywhere near to him.

It was all her fault anyway. She was the one who already bid her goodbye to him before he even said his hello. She was the one avoiding him. She was the one who asked him to leave when all she wanted was for him to stay. She was always pushing him away when deep inside she wanted to pull him back. If only she followed Kangin’s advice, they could have a spare time to savor the final sweet moments till it lasts. Instead they chose to bring each other pains and heartaches. He was right. They were only torturing each other.

This was not the ending she wanted to have. This was not the scene she pictured. All that she ever wanted at that moment was to get closer to him. She wished she could turn back time to the night she sent him away, the night she broke up with him.

She touched the necklace that was hanging around her neck, the controversial necklace that almost brought their relationship to light and risk their careers to destruction. Her grip to it tightened as she thought about the many things she could have said but could not. In an instant, their past conversations replayed in her mind, tiny snapshots of Leeteuk’s clandestine night trips to the SNSD’s dorm, of tales of his futile attempts to reconcile with her.

“Do you know Taeyeon, when I said that I will marry the girl who is willing to wait for me after two years, the only person in my mind is you?” He whispered through her door.

“There are many who are willing to wait for you. Are you sure that I am the only one in your mind?” Taeyeon replied coldly.

“Taeyeon, for the last time, please… Can you put me on the top of your list? Even just for this moment, please.” Leeteuk said with frustration spelled all over his voice.  Can we forget about others and be just us for the moment?”

“Sorry.”

One word. One word that summed it all.

Sorry that she made him feel this way.

Sorry that she can’t allow herself to let him in again.

Sorry that she was not so sure of herself to love once more.

“Why did we let them destroy the love we had?” Leeteuk yelled.

“We let them destroy the love we had because it is the better choice,” that’s what Taeyeon thought but she could not bring herself to say it because it hurts and because her overwhelming feelings did not allow her to. It was so difficult when you were thrown into this limbo Her heart tells her to yield but her mind said no because once she fell for it again, who knows how would she get back again?

“Get used to it, Taeyeon. It would be better for everybody.” That’s what her mind reminded her always.

She knew that after not hearing a reply from her, Leeteuk would just leave. And she would open the door only to find that he already left just like several times before. Once again, tears would fall at the end of her pretention and she would spend the night crying on the other side of the door.

Last night, he came again and he was unsurprisingly calm. He stood in front of her door as he usually did while Taeyeon was on the other side, hiding her face that spoke the truth more than her own words.

That’s when he said “I don’t know if you’re listening but…”

“I am listening. If I have my own consolation, that will be your voice.” That was her unsaid response.

“I hope you’ll wait for me. Because I will continue hoping for ‘us’.”

“I wonder if I will ever really be able to do that.” Taeyeon muttered inaudibly.

He left and when she opened the door, he was already gone. However something glistening caught her eye. At the doorstep, there was the necklace that she returned to him. She picked it up and their love story played like a montage before eyes. The smiles, the laughter, the tears. the ghostly and playful touches, the feel of their hands intertwined, the tight embraces, their sneaky moments; they were all coming back to her. The duet of their laughters started tinkling in her ears together with the exchange of I love you’s and the sweet melody of his song for her.

That’s when she decided…

“I’ll wait for you, Park Jungsu.”

She gathered up her courage and shouted at the top of her lungs. “I WILL WAIT FOR YOU!!!” She let her voice camouflaged with all the other ELFs screaming their farewell messages to the angel leader that they have loved. Although her voice was masked by the many spectators of the event, Leeteuk can perfectly distinguish it from everyone else. For him, that voice stood out of the crowd and he recognized it immediately.

He stopped for a second. “Taeyeon?”

*To be continued.