Days passed, months passed and years had passed, it’s been 3 years and half I dated Wu Yi Fan. Sometimes, I felt like I already married to him because I had known him so well. Basically every single thing about him from head to toe, from the smallest things to the biggest things. But one day Wu Yi Fan seemed to be so bored of me. He lacked of talking with me, we didn’t met so much as usual like we used to be. I did wrong? I think no. But he seemed to stay away from me. I took my cell phone and dialed his number. “Uhm hello…” I heard his y lazy voice on the line. “Babe, I miss you” I told him and giggled, but Wu Yi Fan said nothing, he just silenced. I felt kind of piss-off, it’s just what wrong with him? “Hello… do you hear me?” I asked him and he inhaled hard. “Yeah… Chaewon call me later, please. I’m busy” and he ended call. I was seriously speechless. He’s not like the old Wu Yi Fan that I used to know. Where’s the old him? I miss him. Unexpectedly, tears rolled down my cheek. I felt like he doesn’t need me not even anymore. He hates me. He’s bored of me, of our relation.

I knocked the door of Wu Yi Fan’s house and I heard him said coming from inside. I turned the doorknob clock-wise and entered the house. I found Wu Yi Fan was at the big room. He used to spend his time all day in the room if he didn’t go out somewhere. It was quite an amazing room, he hung all of his photographs on the wall and pictures the he painted. Wu Yi Fan really loves art and it’s mixed with him well. I approached him, his eyes were glued at the poster that he was busy painted it. “Nice…” I told him and he just took a glance at me and smiled. He didn’t talk to me as usual. “Wu Fan, can I ask you something?” I asked him. He didn’t answer me but just nodded his head. “Do you still love me?” my question made him stopped from painting, he put down his painting brush. He glanced at me with a serious facial expression. Our eyes met. “You asked me stupid question, of course I do!” It’s surprised me so much, how could Wu Yi Fan answered me that rough? Was he sincere? Though my heart was aching, I managed to smile at him.

It’s been two weeks I didn’t met Wu Yi Fan and I did miss him so much. I walked home from met Hanna, my best friend. She knew that I dated Wu Yi Fan. Hanna just told me something that was really shocking and I can’t believe it. I need to see it with my own eyes. “Hey, you had matching tattoos with Wu Fan, right?” that’s what Hanna asked me while ago. I told her about our matching tattoos. “I’m sorry, Chaewon. I’m not trying to disappoint you, I think he had removed it” the words kept playing in my mind. Wu Yi Fan removed our matching tattoos? What is this? My step stopped when I saw a familiar figure walked down the street and it was my boyfriend, Wu Yi Fan. I walked behind him slowly so that he didn’t notice me. I even put on my cap a little bit lower just to cover my face. It was true and I want to cry my heart out, Wu Yi Fan removed the tattoos. I saw both of his wrists cleaned without any tattoos. He could he do this to me. He removed it without my knowing. I stopped and cried. I realized that I’m no longer his muse. I need to meet and talked to him. I need to ask him why.

That Saturday evening, I went to his house to meet him. As usual, he was in the big room, did some paintings. “Why don’t you tell me that you removed the tattoo? Well, what’s wrong?!” tears started to roll down my cheeks. Wu Fan stood up and came near me. “Well baby I’m sorry…” he hugged me and my back. “Sorry? Tell me why Wu Fan! Tell me!” I yelled at him and shoved him away. I just can’t bear my sadness and the ache in my heart. “Forget me, I hate you” his words made me down and I felt my world so dark. Is it true he just said to me? “B-but why?” I cried so hard and pleaded. My heart shattered like pieces of glasses. He pushed me away and walked out his home and drove his Mustang away, left me alone. I seriously felt like I got dumped. It was the worst feeling ever after in the world that I ever had. I went home and cried all day long. But then, my phone rang. I wiped my tears away and cleared throat. It was a call from Hanna. “Hello, Hanna…” “Chaewon ah! Don’t you know that Wu Fan involved in car accident? Faster! I’m at the hospital now!” I put my cardigan on and went off to the hospital. I just can pray hoping that Wu Yi Fan will gonna be alright. I don’t want to lose him, I love him so much. Hanna calmed me down. I don’t know why I felt so uneasy. After minutes passed, the doctor came out. “How’s him?” I asked the doctor with 1001 worries on my face. The doctor stooped down without any words. “I’m sorry, miss but we can’t save him” the doctor said and went away. I fell down on my knees, I lost half of my soul. Wu Yi Fan was gone, for forever and ever. I could say nothing. He left me without we were even said sorry for each other from our last spat. I disappointed so much. I hate my life. I miss Wu Fan. I need him.

One day I went to his house because I couldn’t bear the missing feeling. I went inside his big room and there were still a lot of our pictures hung on the wall. I cried so hard when I saw the picture that he took from my 18^th birthday. I never plan that I’ll be losing him. It’s hurt, so much hurt. I walked towards the table. Again, there were a lot of my pictures that he drew. I saw a small piece of folded paper. I opened it.

Dear Chaewon,

I love you so much, so much more than you know.

I know that I’m not a perfect man for you, I can’t be the best for you,

But I just want you to know that you’re the best for me,

I love you with all of my heart,

If one day I can’t marry you, just remember

You’ll always be my wife no matter what

You’re my soul, my heart, my life and my world,

I mean it.

I love you.

I love you so much.

Remember, SO MUCH :)

I’ll always remember it though I’m old now. I didn’t marry any guys for the rest of my life. I’ll always be Wu Yi Fan’s wife. He’s meant to me and I never regret to have known him in my entire life. Wu Yi Fan, I love you so much more than you love me. Wait me at the heaven.

FIN.