Why Are We Still Friends?
Obvious
Why?
Kyuhyun kept asking himself since forever with that question as he stared longingly at Sungmin, his bestfriend, who is sleeping soundly on his bed. The younger barged at his condo that afternoon without any notice, which happens all the time and Kyuhyun can never complain about it, crying his heart out as he told Kyuhyun about Zhoumi who cheated on him with Henry. He listened to Sungmin blabber about how much he loved his boyfriend, how he thought that they will end up together but only to be cheated upon by the other. He thought their love was perfect. Seeing his bestfriend cry in front of him just breaks his heart. He hugged Sungmin while rubbing circles at his back to comfort him.
"Am I not enough, Kyu?" He heard Sungmin asked and he looked at him while wiping the tears from the younger's face gently.
"You are more than enough, Min."
"But why is it that every time I fall in love with someone, they would always end up leaving me? Why do I always end up with a broken heart?"
"Everything happens for a reason. Maybe someone out there is waiting for you..... Waiting for you to take notice of him. Someone who will never leave you and will take care of you for the rest of your life." Kyuhyun whispered while looking deep into Sungmin's eyes. He saw the latter pout and Kyuhyun can't help but smile at the adorable sight of his bestfriend.
"Really?" Sungmin pouted more and Kyuhyun pinched his nose. "Ouch!"
"Sorry. I can't help it. You're just too cute!" Kyuhyun said before he saw Sungmin's face lit up and smiled at him which made Kyuhyun's heart skip a beat. It took him a lot of control to hold himself back from kissing Sungmin. "Now, you look more adorable when you smile like that. Honestly, you look ugly when you cry." He teased and started copying Sungmin's crying face in an exaggerated manner.
Hearing Kyuhyun said that and started on mocking him, he grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it at the retreating form of Kyuhyun and the latter was lucky enough to catch it before it hit his face. They started teasing each other, throwing pillows, then tickling each other, and sound of cheerful laughters can be heard from the condo.
Sungmin forgot about his heart break and was enjoying his time with his bestfriend. Kyuhyun, on the other hand, was glad to see his bestfriend smiling, laughing, and back at his cheerful self again. He is too happy to know that he's the reason for those.
"Why Sungmin?" Kyuhyun mumbled to himself and slowly went towards his bestfriend's sleeping form. He brushed away the stray of hair from Sungmin's forehead and observed the latter's face and the steady rise and fall of his chest. Everything about Sungmin is perfect - his brows, his foxy eyes that always made Kyuhyun feel as if he was being hypnotized everytime they lock gazes, his perfectly-shaped nose, his m-shaped lips (oh, how Kyuhyun wished to have those lips against his), his soft blonde hair that he loves to feel between his fingertips, his flawless face and milky-white skin, his voice (the sweet voice that brings melody to Kyuhyun's ears), their love for both music and composition, and Sungmin's kind heart are just some that Kyuhyun admires.
But what he doesn't like about the younger is when he will not have time for him and ignore him when he's with his lover. Sungmin will only remember his existence again when he will have a fight with his lover, or when his heart is broken. He tried to understand the younger one when he first had his boyfriend, Siwon, even though it hurts him a lot cause he believes that Sungmin should be his only. When the two broke apart, he swore he was the happiest man alive, for he sure knows that he will do anything to make his bestfriend notice his true feelings for him. But sadly, the younger is just too oblivious for everything that Kyuhyun is doing to make him notice the elder's love for him, that he even dated Kangin, who also broke his heart, and then Zhoumi.
-FLASHBACK-
Kyuhyun has been secretly in love with Sungmin since they were young. No one knows about it except his parents, who accepted their son's preference when they found out. His mom told him that maybe it's only a puppy love or admiration that Kyuhyun is feeling towards Sungmin. He didn't try to argue with that as he also don't know if what he's feeling for Sungmin is really more than an admiration. He thought that maybe this will fade as the time goes by.
But he was wrong. So damn wrong! As the time goes by, his feelings grew more than a simple admiration. The two of them will always be seen together, which earn a lot of teasings from their friends, saying that the two of them look good together and they made a perfect couple. It made everything worst for him. He would always dream about his bestfriend, and he sometimes would daydream in class that he and Sungmin are lovers. From then on, he became afraid that their friendship would be broken if he decided to confess. What if Sungmin doesn't feel the same way for him? And worst, he will hate him and don't want to be friends with him anymore. Well, he'd rather hide what he feels for Sungmin than destroy their friendship. He don't want to lose Sungmin.
He tried distancing from Sungmin and the latter was persistant to know why he's avoiding him, that he made up a lie about him having a girlfriend that needs his attention. He failed to notice the hurt in Sungmin's eyes as he was busy trying to avoid the latter's gaze. And after that day, his world fell apart when he found out that Sungmin had started dating Siwon. He even cried himself to sleep from too much pain he was feeling on his chest. He never thought that seeing his bestfriend with another man would hurt him this much. Sungmin had also started avoiding him.
He was busy playing his favorite game, Starcraft that is, when Sungmin came to his room with sad looks and puffy eyes. At first, he didn't pay attention to Sungmin's shaking voice calling his name, as he was too engrossed with the game. But when he saw a hand pulling his right wrist, he stopped and was about to scold whoever dare to stop him in the middle of an important match, when he saw Sungmin's tear-stricken face. He forgot about his game as he immediately wrapped the younger one in a tight embrace. He miss Sungmin so damn much! Sobs were heard from Sungmin and he was so worried that he was not able to hold himself as he shower kisses at the latter's forehead and cheeks. Well, atleast that was enough to make Sungmin stop from crying as they both stared at each other's eyes in surprise. They were both blushing as they immediately let each other go.
"I'm sorry!" they both said while avoiding each other's eyes.
A moment of silence.
It was Kyuhyun who broke the deafening silence between them. "I'm sorry, Sungmin. I.... I was just.... I was so worried. Please don't get mad at me."
"It's okay, hyung. Actually, I.... I want to say sorry to you, too. I'm sorry for not spending time with you as I was busy with S-siwon."
Hearing his bestfriend's lover's name is enough to stab his heart all over again. He swallowed a hard lump on his throat and cough a little just to avoid himself from breaking down in front of Sungmin. "It's o-okay. I understand."
"We are not together anymore." That was enough to turn Kyuhyun's head towards Sungmin. He can't believe what the younger had told him and he was mentally dancing in happiness.
"W-what?!" Kyuhyun was biting the inside of his cheeks to avoid himself from grinning.
"A-actually, he was the one who b-broke up with me. He told m-me that what we had is a big sin. You know how religious he is." Sungmin said as tears started to fall down his cheeks again.
Kyuhyun clenched his fist as he angrily muttered, "That bastard!" How can someone could simply broke the most important person in his life's heart? He felt his blood boil and he swear if he will see Siwon, he will definitely teach him a lesson. He promised himself that he will protect his bestfriend from now on.
Sungmin saw the rage in Kyuhyun's eyes and he felt a tinge of happiness in his heart knowing that his bestfriend still cares for him. He held Kyuhyun's fist gently, and the latter was surprised to feel his hands on his own. He then felt Kyuhyun relax in his touch and he smiled at him. "I don't want to see you get hurt again," Kyuhyun then wiped Sungmin's tears away, "and cry like this. I will protect you from now on." Sungmin smiled at those words and he hugged Kyuhyun, surprising again the latter.
After the incident, Kyuhyun started treating Sungmin in a different way. He started showing Sungmin some signs of what he truly felt for the younger like cuddling and clinging to him like a koala, to which Sungmin seemed not to mind at all. He even gave Sungmin a pink bunny plushie and a rose during Valentine's day, which earn him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and they even watched some movies together. He's afraid to confess what he truly felt, so he instead show it to Sungmin through actions. Kyuhyun thought that his dreams would soon be coming true. He just have to wait patiently for Sungmin to notice everything he's doing for him. They started acting and doing almost everything like what real lovers would do and Kyuhyun is more than happy about it. If only they are really lovers.
But his hopes had died when he saw Sungmin holding hands with Kangin as the two made their way towards him with smiles on their faces. Sungmin introduced Kangin to him as his boyfriend, and Kyuhyun can only managed a fake smile and said congratulations to them as he tried to hide the pain he's feeling. Oh, how much Kyuhyun hated Sungmin that day. He ended up being drunk that night and one of their classmates, who was known to have a big crush on him, was surprisingly there to help him in his drunken state. They became a couple after that and Kyuhyun tried his best to forget about Sungmin while dating Seohyun. God knows how much he tried, but it just won't work. So he ended up breaking Seohyun's heart and asked for her forgiveness, which the latter didn't accept, leaving Kyuhyun dumbfounded.
-END OF FLASHBACK-
"After all the pain that I had gone through because of you, you still remain here." Kyuhyun whispered as he touched his left chest where his heart is located. His visions became blurred as tears started to form in his eyes. His voice cracked as he continued whispering to himself while still looking at Sungmin sleep, "You broke my heart too many times and yet, it still longs and waits for you to notice and fix it."
Kyuhyun took a deep breath and closed his eyes to let the tears fall freely. "Tell me, Min. Tell me why I can't be more than just friends with you. I've shown you how much you mean to me through actions, and yet you seemed so oblivious about it. Is your heart really that blind? I've made everything so obvious to you. You don't know how much you have hurt me. Seeing you so happy with them, and seeing you cry because of them just hurts me so badly. You won't know how hard it is for me to see you cry and wiped those tears away because I know that you should be with me. You should be mine. I love you so much that it hurts. I wish it was me who holds your hand, who kisses you, who whispers words of love in your ears, makes your heart flutter with sweet words, and make your stomach feels like they have butterflies in it." Kyuhyun chuckled softly and he opened his eyes. "But I guess, friend is just what I am to you, huh? I can never be more than that. I'm a best friend who can only provide you comfort and shoulder to cry on when your heart is broken. A brother who protects you from harm. That's just what my role to you, right? But you know what, I don't want to be just a best friend nor a brother to you. I want to be your boyfriend, your lover, your partner, your soulmate, your husband." Kyuhyun chuckled again at his last words. "It sounds crazy but you know how love can make people do and think crazy stuffs when they are in love."
He let out a sigh and bit his lower lip to prevent him from sobbing louder. "I love you so much, Min. But I am tired. I am tired of being hurt. Should I let you go? Should I forget about you? Will I be able to move on and live without you? What do you want me to do, Min?" Kyuhyun paused and wiped his tears with the back of his hands as he slowly moved away from Sungmin. "I tried how many times to say goodbye to you, but I can't. I can't find enough courage and words to say goodbye. Why, Min? Why do I still love you after all of these pain? Why am I still here at your side? Why am I still here confessing to you even though I know you can't hear me?"
He paused again and leaned closer to Sungmin as he memorized his face. "I love you so much." He whispered. "I'm sorry if I'll do this but," he said as he slowly lowered his face towards Sungmin's sleeping one. "I need this before I'll be able to let you go." Kyuhyun gently kiss Sungmin's lips. It was just a peck but enough to make his heart beat crazily. He looked at Sungmin's lips and saw a pout. He smiled at the sight. But he knows he should let him go now and start moving on. It's for his and Sungmin's best.
"Goodbye, Min. I love you, I always will."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
(A/N) Gotcha! Nah~~~this is not yet the end. I can't let KyuMin end in a sad way. I love this OTP so much that I'll be posting a happy ending for this. hehe
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