“Oh my God, he’s adorable!”

“He definitely looks like Sungmin.”

“No way! He looks just like me and Kyuhyun!”

“Oh honey, even I agree with Sungmin’s mother. The baby definitely looks like Sungmin. For your information, Kyuhyun got his looks from me.”

It was an enjoyable day for the Lee and Cho family. It was Sungmin and Kyuhyun’s first born baby boy. Sungmin who was able to carry a child in his womb for nine months finally gave birth today.

Cho Kyumin.

Their precious little baby, Cho Kyumin.

The couple shared a kiss with the baby in Sungmin’s arms and despite their parents bickering as to who exactly the little one looked like.

“I love you, Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun kissed his husband’s forehead, and whispered with the same lovable voice that Sungmin had produced. “I love you too, Sungmin.”

Little did they know, the little baby boy whose tiny hand that were wrapped around Sungmin’s finger would soon be taken away from them from a sad fate called, cancer.

~

“You’re kidding right?” Sungmin yelled, arms being held back by Kyuhyun because of the rage that was going through the former. “How are you going to tell me that my son is going to die soon?! What kind of doctor are you?! Who let you graduate from college?! Who let you work here?! I don’t need a doctor that tells me that my son is going to die soon. I need a doctor that can cure him goddamn it!”

“Mr. Cho, please, we’ve been trying to cure Kyumin for a long time now, but the cancer cells are just spreading too fast in his body. The chemo is not helping anymore. Surgery will probably prolong it, but it will end the same way. It’s just, impossible to cure. I’m sorry.”

“You shut up! Don’t tell me you’re sorry because you’ve done nothing yet! How dare you!” The doctor had left with a sunken heart. Kyuhyun’s tears had started flowing out, seeing his husband all distraught like this was just too painful to see.  Sungmin faced him and that’s when his heart really broke into pieces.

Their precious baby boy is leaving them.

Kyuhyun held his shaking husband, and led him back to their baby boy’s ward.

Kyumin was sleeping soundly with dextrose and other wires connected through both of his tiny hands’ veins.

Kyumin is only four years old. Already diagnosed with cancer when he was two and a half years old, the precious thing has been fighting for his life at such a young age. The thought of him not even being able to go to pre-school to meet new people, not even able to get to grade school, not even middle school and start to date pretty girls, and then high school... he won’t even make it till high school where he could possibly meet the one that he would spend the rest of his life with.

Kyuhyun walked up to Kyumin. He ran his hand over Kyumin’s bald head. When was the last time they saw any hair grow on their precious baby’s little head? Kyuhyun’s precious baby never complained about anything, not even when he was undergoing therapy. The precious little thing would smile after he comes out of the therapy room.

“I don’t want to lose him, Kyuhyun,” Sungmin shakily said through his unstoppable tears. “I can’t…”

Kyuhyun didn’t respond. He continued running his hand over their baby’s head. He regrets coming home late at night and not even seeing his little boy awake because of work. He regrets never being there when he learns something new from Sungmin. He regrets not being able to go to the family outing because his boss had asked him to type a ten-page report. He regrets not being able to hold onto the little thing as much as Sungmin did.

If only he could turn back the time.

Kyumin stirred in his sleep, and finally opened his tiny eyes after two days of being put to sleep because of the pain he had been experiencing. The precious thing looked up at Kyuhyun, and then smiled.

Oh, that precious smile.

“D-daddy,” the precious thing called out. “Why is your face wet?”

“Nothing baby,” Kyuhyun replied, wiping his tears away. “I love you, Kyumin.”

Kyumin smiled once again. “I love you too, daddy.”

This time, Sungmin walked up to them. “Hi baby.”

“Your face is wet too, mommy.”

“Kyumin, should I take you somewhere else? Somewhere far from this scary place?”

“Huh?”

“Come on baby with me 
We're gonna fly away from here
Out of this curtained room in this hospital grey 
We'll just disappear”

“Am… am I leaving, mommy? Am I going to God now?”

Sungmin wasn’t able to hold back his tears for even his precious little boy knows that he’ll be leaving him and Kyuhyun soon.

“Oh baby!” Sungmin ran next to Kyumin, and embraced him in his arms just like on the day he was first brought out into this world.

~

Two weeks later, Kyumin had gone.

The funeral service had started, and people didn’t really have anything that much to say about the short-lived little one.

Everyone was surprised when Sungmin stood up to give his eulogy. They weren’t expecting the broken hearted man to be ready for any of this.

Sungmin voice came out broken.

“I… I just… I want him back… I want my baby back… Kyumin… my baby Kyumin…

I remember your bare feet down the hallway
I remember your little laugh
Race cars on the kitchen floor
Plastic dinosaurs, I love you to the moon and back

I remember your brown eyes looking into mine like we had our own 
secret club
I remember you dancing before bed time then jumping on me waking 
me up even though daddy wasn’t home that much, I know you’ve always wanted to wake him up the way you woke me up.
I can still feel you hold my hand
Little man, from even that moment I knew
You fought it hard like an army guy
Remember I leaned in and whispered to you

Come on baby with me 
We're gonna fly away from here
You were my best four years

And it's about to be Halloween 
You could be anything you wanted if you were still here
I remember the last day when I kissed your face
I whispered in your ear

Come on baby with me 
We're gonna fly away from here
Out of this curtained room in this hospital grey 
We'll just disappear

What if I'm standing in your closet trying to talk to you?
What if I kept the hand me downs you won't grow into?
And what if I really thought some miracle would see us through?
But what if the miracle was even getting one moment with you

Come on baby with me
We're gonna fly away from here”

Kyuhyun pulled Sungmin away from the crowd, and brought him into his arms. Truly, it was hard for both of them.

“Bring him back, Kyuhyun! Bring him back!” Sungmin demanded through Kyuhyun’s chest.

“I can’t, honey. I can’t…”

~

The funeral procession is finished.

Everyone went home except for Kyuhyun and Sungmin who stood around their little boy’s grave.

I remember the drive home when the blind hope
Turned to crying and screaming, "Why?"
Flowers piled up in the worst way
No one knows what to say about a beautiful boy who died.

“Will he be okay?” Sungmin asked, his tears already dried up.

“Of course.”

“Will God give him a lot of pancakes?”

“I think so.”

“You think he’ll enjoy seeing the moon and the stars up there? I mean, he always wanted to touch it ever since you bought him that rotating planet ceiling light.”

“Oh, he’ll be ecstatic.”

“Will he be happy without me and you?”

Kyuhyun let out a soft chuckle. “I don’t think so. He really loves you.”

“He loves you too.”

Kyuhyun draped an arm around Sungmin. “He’ll be fine, you know. He’s strong.”

“I’m not strong enough, Kyuhyun.”

“Yeah you are. You know how?” Sungmin shook his head. “Because now, Kyumin resides in your heart. He’ll be your guardian.”

-끝-