You weren't mine in the first place. And I know I didn't have a chance. But I let myself enjoy your voice, your face... Even though I knew I would'nt be able to have you in the end. Was I wrong to cherish what I was only allowed of? But I knew this day would come.
The day you'd move on and leave me.

"Hyung, I really appreciate you helping me pack my things." Taemin smiled, clasping his hands in front of him.

"It's nothing, really. I mean, having you stay here since you graduated college, it's the least I could do."

He came over to me and held both of my hands.

"And I appreciate everything that you've done for Minho and I. And now, this little kiddo is flying out the nest." His smile reached his ears.

"Minho's going to arrive any minute now." I smiled halfheartedly. "You should check if everything's in order."

My heart ached when I forced myself to let go of his hands.

I guess I should practice not having him around, anyway.

"Yah! Onew hyung! Why does it seem like you're pushing me out of the door, already?" He playfully whined. "Aren't you going to miss me?"

On the contrary, I think I'll die when you walk out of that door. I wanted to say. But of course, I knew better. I don't want to be the guy that messed up his relationships. 

"Of course, I will." I said. "But what can I do?"

I might have looked angry, or sad, or hungry. I don't know. But Taemin sensed that something was wrong with me. The way he put his hand on my shoulder gave that away. 

I looked at him. More intently than I should have, if I say so myself. I guess I shouldn't have looked at him in the first place. Because that ruined it for me. I was ready to go to hell as long as I held him. Even for just one minute.

"H-Hyung. What's the m-matter?" Taemin stuttered. I wouldn't blame him.

I mean, when a guy hugs you tightly out of the blue, I'd be confused as well.

"Taemin, let's stay like this for a while."I whispered.

To my utter surprise, he returned the hug. "Okay."

Hugging him by the waist, I could see the clock behind him. 

02:32:21_PM

I thought back to the time he first moved in. The time we decorated his room to his liking.

I thought back to the day he made us dinner. Just the two of us in the apartment.

I thought back to the time I took him to the amusement part. Where I noticed how warm his smiles were towards me.

02:32:59_PM

I thought back to when I introduced Minho to him. Oh how I regret that day right now.

I thought back to the time when Taemin asked for my permission to have dinner with Minho. Alone. And I painfully said yes.

02:33:11_PM

I thought back to the day Taemin and I went to the beach together. And I felt the urge to kiss him under the night sky. But I didn't. Though I wish I had.

I imagined how that night would have happened if I had kissed him. 

I thought about how much I wanted to turn back time. And tell him, under that night sky, our toes burried in the sand, how much I loved him.

02:33:20_PM

There was a knock on the door.

"Hyung, Taemin! I'm coming in!" Minho.

I removed my arms from Taemin's waist unwillingly.

"Oh good! I see you guys are done packing!" Minho exclaimed at the two small boxes, all smiles.

"Y-Yeah... Onew hyung h-helped me." Taemin added, eyes not leaving mine.

With our final good-byes. The couple turned to leave. Minho easily carrying the boxes with one arm, the other around Taemin. Before his figure entirely left the doorframe, Taemin turned to look at me. That same sad, longing stare I find myself doing lately. Or I'd like to think of his stare that way, at least.

Staring at the clock, I found myself tearing.

I'd also want to believe that he felt the same way I did at some point. Even for a short time. Even For Just One Minute.