After leaving the SM building, I decided to take a little walk without our manager so I could think about this situation and more importantly, call Sunhwa.

 

“Jewelryyyy!” I heard her happy voice answer my call as I reached the park and sat down on a bench. 

 

“Unnie, how are you?” I rubbed my eyes and leaned back.

 

“I’m great sweetie, how about you?” she sounded as cheerful as ever. “I heard the great news, miss Leader!“

 

“Great news?” I scoffed slightly, “Are you kidding me? I can’t be a leader!”

 

“Of course you can! Trust me, if I didn’t think you could handle it I wouldn’t have…-”

 

“I knew it!” I quickly interrupted her. So it was her that threw my name on the table with Soo Man when he was deciding on the future of Topaz. “Unnie, what were you thinking?”

 

“I was thinking about what was best for the group after I left… The other girls, they are sweet and very talented but I don’t think they will have the same strength and perseverance as you do…” she explained in a serious tone of voice.

 

I sighed as I listen to her and just kept shaking my head. Strength? Perseverance? Me? Where did she get that idea from? Those were the last things that would be able to describe me.

 

“I know you can do this, even if you might not feel like it yet,” she continued. “I thought I wasn’t ready to be the leader either, and I can say that I did a pretty good job, right?”

 

“You were a great leader to us…” I sighed and rubbed my face. “But the girls don’t even have faith in me, so where do I get my motivation if not even they support me in this?”

 

I heard a disapproving sigh coming from her side and waited for her reply.

 

“Then draw your motivation from our fans, like we always did,” she finally answered.

 

I drew a blank for a moment. Sure, we have always been motivated by the slowly increasing amount of fans that supported us through the good times and the bad. But that was all because of Sunhwa who always was the main focus of the group. She was the popular one, even though she wasn’t the visual. And in our eyes, as her members, she was the perfect idol who only had ways to grow even better and set an example for us. 

 

“Listen, you girls are going to be fine under your lead,” she finally said. “They might not like it now but in time they will figure out that you are their rightful leader and they will support you, I promise you.”

 

“If you say so…” I sighed slightly.

 

“Yah~ Jewel! Believe in unnie’s words, okay?”

 

I purse my lips slightly before nodding, “Arasseo, I will try my best.”

 

“Good!” she suddenly sounded very cheerful again. “Now if there is any problem, just call me, alright? And maybe go around and asking the other leaders for tips if they have the time.”

 

“I will,” I answered as I realized that it would be a good thing for me to do, asking the other leaders of the groups for tips and advice on how to be a good leader, since all of them have had the experience.

 

“Listen, I have to go now but just remember, I believe in you, okay?”

 

“Okay, thanks unnie!” I nodded and heard her yell her cheerful goodbye before the call dropped.

 

With a sigh I lowered my arm and stared at my phone for a moment. Her words were motivating though not convincing. I guess the only person who’d be able to convince me is myself. And that is going to take a while.

 

---

About an hour later I returned back to the dorm where the other girls were busy watching tv or reading. But as soon as I entered, they all looked up at me with rather curious looks.

“Well, it’s official, I am the leader of Topaz now…” I tried to say with a smile though it didn’t really feel genuine. “We’ll be making a comeback next month and we’ll make our concert debut during next month’s SM Town in Concert.”

 

“Next month? Really?” Minah frowned, “Isn’t that a bit fast, with everything that happened?”

 

I shrugged, “Lee Soo Man-nim apparently thinks so… Though I guess our schedule will be drastically changed to fit in more practice…”

 

“I don’t get that man sometimes, really… Appointing a new leader so soon after Sunhwa left us, without a clear reason I might add…” Yura crossed her arms and glared at me slightly. She had always been a person to speak her mind, no matter how cruel, so this was something I could have expected from her.

 

“That’s true!” Sooyeon nodded, “What if the fans think that SM threw out Sunhwa on purpose?”

 

“For Jewel? I doubt that would cross their mind…” Jiah sighed. “I doubt they would make such a big deal out of it, they are still our fans after all.”

 

“But the timing is a bit suspicious…” Minah nodded. “Especially since Sunhwa didn’t want to tell us why she was leaving… Who’s to say it wasn’t the real reason she left though?”

 

“Did he say anything about wanting to release a statement about all of this?” Sooyeon turned to me with a slightly tilted head.

 

I thought back at the conversation earlier then shook my head, “Nothing about that.”

 

“Aish… I wish Sunhwa had told us why she left…” Yura let out a frustrate sigh as she sat down on one of the chairs. 

 

As she was about to open and say something else, the door swung open and our manager walked in, carrying a file in his hands which he tossed on the table in front of us.

 

“What’s that?” Minah frowned.

 

“Your next schedule, starting tomorrow you will adapting to this schedule to prepare for your comeback. It’s a lot, so you girls better follow my directions when it comes to going to sleep and eating or else you’re not going to survive one week of this.”

 

“Well, thanks for the pep-talk oppa! We sure appreciated it,” Yura rolled her eyes as she snatched the file away from my outreaching hand and opened it to read it, her eyes widening as they scanned over the activities, “Are you serious??”

 

“I’m afraid not…” our manager sighed.

 

We leaned over her shoulder to check the schedule, all sharing the same reaction to the packed schedule. Every day started around at least 5am and went on till deep in the night. There were tons of vocal lessons, recordings, dance rehearsals and concept rehearsals plans for the upcoming weeks, all leading up to our debut as the new and improved Topaz at the beginning of the next month. 

 

“This isn’t even reasonable, how are we able to get through one week with this schedule?” Minah called out.

 

“I’m sure we’ll be able to get through this schedule if we work hard,” I sighed softly and tried to sound positive.

 

“We’ll see…” Yura sighed and tossed the schedule back on the table before getting up, “I am going to take a shower and prepare for hell tomorrow…” with that said she walked out of the room.

 

Slowly the other girls nodded and made their way back to their rooms as well, leaving me behind with our manager as he picked up the file and flipped it open again.

 

“They are treating you rough, but I’m sure our CEO wouldn’t plan it like this if he thought you wouldn’t be able to pull it though,” he said with his eyes focused on the schedules. 

 

I bit my lip and nodded, “Yeah… I heard that before…”