AN: Here is the oneshot^^ Umm. Yes, this isn't the best sadly. I used some of the lyrics, but only some parts of it. I hope this is Ok though xD <3 This is the first time I wrote in present tense in English, but there's a reason why I still tried it xD

The words are bold are only bold because I wanted so, they have no relation to the prompt or whatever xD

I don't want to let you go

I still can’t erase you
Again and again I think of you
I miss you too much

I can see you. I can see your beautiful smile, like on the day I asked you to be my boyfriend. I can still hear your beautiful, feminine voice. I can still feel your touch on my face, your soft lips on mine. I love you .I can remember your rare pouts when you wanted something really badly. It's like you're still here, sitting next to me. You are holding my hand and smiling at me. Yes, you're here. You would never leave me, would you? I can feel your tiny hand in mine. Our fingers are laced together, we are talking about the future. We are going on a holiday next month. You've always wanted to see the sea, haven't you?

You are so happy. I can see it in your eyes. You are beautiful. We are walking in the sand, hand in hand. You want to run into the sea, but I won't let you. It's too cold, what if you get sick? I don't like taking care of you when you're sick, you are so adorable but so pitiful.. 

You are plainly childish sometimes. You start pulling me into the sea, your huge feline eyes begging me to at least let you go. I won't. I squeeze your hand a bit tighter, then I pull you into my arms. We stay like that for a long time, just us on the beach. Soon, you tell me that you're cold and we walk back to the hotel.  I can't let you get sick like last time.

The people are staring at us like we are crazy. Of course, not many people accept gay couples, it's not surprising at all. We sit on our bed and just stay there, cuddling. Your skin is so cold, it's like you're not even here with me. But you are.. Right?

Our friends say that they miss you.. I don't really understand why they are saying that, because you are here, sitting on my lap. I laugh at Minho and wait for you to laugh too. But you don't. I can't hear your sweet laugh anymore. You just look at me with sorrow in your beautiful eyes. I can see a tear roll down your cheek. Why are you crying?

They are staring at me with worry in their eyes. I don't understand why.. I am happy with you..

  They say I have to let you go.. Why? Why would I let my Angel go when he is here with me, holding my hand? Why would I let you go when we are so happy together? Why?

'He's not here..' Taemin whispers, his eyes full of tears. Who is he talking about? Has he gone crazy? You are here, standing next to me. I can't see your face since you are facing the wall. Do you like that painting so much?

'Yes he is.. He is standing here next to me..'I say and point at you. You smile sadly and shook your head. Why aren't you talking to Taemin? Why can't he see you?

'He's not, hyung.. He's-' Taemin starts, but we stand up and run out. I don't want to hear it. You are here with me and that's all that matters. I don't even realize, but I am crying.. Why?

'You have to let me go..'you say as we are now lying on my bed, cuddling close to each other.

'Why?' I ask you and roll my eyes. 'Why would I ever let you go? I love you so much, Key.. 'I smile and kiss you gently.

'I love you too, but you have to let me go..'you whisper as you push me away.

'Why?' I ask you again, but you just shake your head and smile sadly. Why are you so sad? I want to ask you, but you walk away.

Do you not love me anymore?

I miss you.. You haven't turned up on our date, even though you promised to. You've even turned off your phone. Why are you doing this to me, have I done something wrong? I just sit in the cafe, waiting for you.

'Would you like anything, sir?'the waitress asks me, batting her fake eyelashes. I almost scoff, you are much more beautiful than here.

'An iced coffee.' I reply. She smiles at me and goes to get my order.

Where are you? You promised to be here. I don't want to go home without you. I drink my coffee slowly. You still aren't here. Why? Do you not love me anymore?

Slowly, I have to go home. I really don't want to, but I was told to go home since they are closing the cafe. Why did you lie?

The raindrops are knocking at my heart’s window
The place that you’ve left
I miss it too much

It's raining. I chuckle softly, maybe that's why you didn't come. You hate the rain. Of course you do, 'it ruins your hair' as you say. I love your hair even if it's wet. I'd love you even if you were bald. You'd still be so beautiful. I love you.

The view of your backside walking through the rainy path
I can’t do anything but stay
Everyday I keep regretting it, I’m sorry/ I pray
I want you to be back
I can’t, I can’t touch you/ I can’t bear the day without you
Can’t hold back the tears
again I can’t forget you. Till when will I be
like this?

I'm finally home. Those two are waiting for me. Taemin is standing there awkwardly,  leaning against my front door, Minho is standing next to him. Only you are missing..

'We have to talk.'Minho says, looking at the ground.

'Not now.'I say as I push Taemin out of my way gently and unlock the door.

'Look, I know that it hurts, but you have to let him go!' Minho grabs my wrist before I could go inside.

'Why? Minho, tell me why on Earth I'd let him go just because he doesn't have that much time right now? Just because he didn't come to our date? Why? Don't you know that I love him?' I ask as I glare up at him.

'Hyung..'Taemin sniffs, trying hard not to cry. Why is he crying?' He is gone..'he whispers.

'Who?' I ask, laughing at his stupidity. Who is gone, the Santa?

'K..Key.. and you have to.. you have to accept the fact..'he breaks down, falling into Minho's arms. I roll my eyes, why is he trying to lie?

'He's not.' I say and looked at him seriously. 'He is perfectly fine.' I add and try to smile. I am crying again. Why?

'Look, Jonghyun, I had enough of your crazy games.'Minho started once again, his eyes full of sorrow and anger. 'He is gone. He won't come back. You only hurt yourself with pretending that he's here. And you hurt us. I am not telling you to forget him. But he's not here, don't you understand? HE.IS.DEAD.' he says. His voice is almost emotionless. And still, both of us are crying.

I try to run away. I try, but he catches me. He punches me in the face. 'Wake up!'he growls at me. 'We miss him too, but you can't live like this!' he says. I know that he's right, but I don't want to let you go. I really don't.

I still can’t erase you
Again and again I think of you
I miss you too much
I can’t sleep at night.

They leave me as I stumble into my apartment. I fall on my knees, crying for you.. I want you to come back to me. I love you.. 

I can't sleep.. Whenever I close my eyes, I can see you as you smile at me, reaching out for my hand. But then you suddenly turn away and you start to fade away. Why? I want to have you back.

I wonder where you are now.. Are you in Heaven? Are you an angel with fashion sense and a divaish attitude?

Or are you here, looking at me? Can you even remember me? Do you still love me? I wonder.

It's been weeks since I last saw our friends. They are calling me, but I just can't pick up the phone.. Why? Because they were right.I.. I think I knew it all along, but I just couldn't accept the fact that you're gone. I can only hope that we will meet again. I miss you..

There is a knock on the door. I don't want to open it, I don't want to go outside. I can almost see you as you'd roll your eyes and walk to the door to open it. 'Stupid lazy puppy.' you would say, smiling. And somehow,  they do open the door. It's like you are here.

Minho and Taemin walk in slowly. Taemin's eyes are red and I can see that he's on the verge of tears again.

'I'm sorry..'Minho says. I stand up slowly and smile at him faintly. Taemin sniffs and pretty much tackles me in a hug.

'I'm sorry too..'I say softly as Minho joins the hug. All three of us are crying for you.. We miss you.. I know that nothing will be the same, but I still smile, for their sake. They know it too, I can see it in their eyes.

A few days later, I decide to visit your grave. It's made of white marble just like most of the ones surrounding it. But it has your name engraved onto it. Kim Kibum..  I want you to be back.. I want to see you.. I want to be with you. I love you.

I place the white and red roses on the grave and caress the cold, smooth stone gently. Once again, I can see you faintly.

'I love you..'I whisper hoarsely.'I just can't let you go..' I add softly.

'I love you too..' I hear your soft voice, and you lean in to kiss me one last time. You disappear, and I stay there, falling on my knees. I know that I will never be able to forget you.. I'm sorry that I can't let you go, I don't want to let you go.. I love you.

I still can’t erase you
Again and again I think of you
I miss you too much.