☁ c a l l i n g : mindashii ☁
☁ d r e a m i n g i n t h e c l o u d s ☁ review shop [ⒸⓁⓄⓈⒺⒹ]☁ Title [10/10] : Perfect title. It fits the story really well. I honestly love it.
☁ Appearence [5/5] : Your poster and background fit the mood - Angst, perfectly. Just like your score.
☁ Foreword & Description [19/20] : Your description is well written and sum's up what is going to play out in the story. Also the quote is a suitable quote for this story but should be written in the foreword instead of that "filler" (songs, pictures, names, etc).
☁ Characterization [10/10] : In my opinion, you portrayed Chanyeol's sweet, "adorkable" side very well in a short amount of time. Most people can't do that very well and just let the character's personality lag without any specifics (i.e : his reactions to certain problems). Great job.
☁Originality [5/10] : This whole idea of "Best Friends Betrayl" is sort of over used. I mean, before a few words in I already knew what was going to happen! Honestly speaking. It's just to predictable with stories like these. The bestfriends do become bestfriends again but than later they become lovers. Now, you're only in 3 chapters deep and I haven't seen your whole plot and situations unfold, but you have to spice it up from begin to end. You don't want your readers to predict what is going to happen before it even happens.
☁ Plot [12/15] : Your plot is "okay" in terms of what I've seen in those 3 chapters. How I see it is that
Kai or Jongin will (or he is already) jealous of Chanyeol further down the line in the story because he starts hanging out with his "ex - bestfriend". Jongin realises what is wrong and trys to fight for Minda, and than it becomes a big love triangle. It's not a bad plot line because Chanyeol and Kai are in the same group so it creates tension, for example, "will the band break up because of Kai's love for Minda and at the same time Chanyeol's love for Minda?" Great. Try to work on it a bit more. Make your story stand out from others.
☁ Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation [15/15] : Great! You must double check and know your grammar. I always forget to double check ...
☁ Flow [15/15] : The way your wrote your story is really ... smooth, almost natural. I feel like Minda is actually speaking to me. It really engages your audience more.
☁ TOTAL : 90/100
Verdict
A very natural read. Although it is very predictable to certain
person's, it is still fun to see how things play out for the
ex - bestfriends. On a side note, isn't Kai a jerk for doing that?
A must read for the angst, romance, fictional character lovers.
--- 10. 16. 12 ---
story link : here
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