Chapter 21: I Am (Not) Cold

“The truth is… I’d rather be here, than anywhere else in the world.”

It sounded like a thousand chimes had blown in the wind. The feeling was like a fleeting dream, with church bells going off in the distance. Himchan swore he could see flowers blooming in the background.

“I… I was kinda happy you got sick, you know… so… so I could take care of you, or something, haha!” an awkward laugh.

“You… always look out for me, but I never do anything in return, so with small things like this, I… it really makes me happy,”

Himchan feels like passing out. Ducking his head a bit, so as to fight the evident tint on it his face.

- - -

“You should really be staying put,” Yongguk commands as he sees Himchan lurking around.

The man has been fussing around all day. For a second there, Himchan felt his guilt sinking in. However, the way he was taking care of things, of the dishes… of him – there was this feeling that he’d rather have this than anything else.

“I’m not really sick,” he says honestly.

“Of course you are, get back to bed,” he smiles at him.

Himchan looks at him, as he continues to fuss around the kitchen. Whether this is a dream or not, the ulzzang appreciates it. He had to pinch himself twice that day, just to confirm if he was really awake. Truth be told, with the way things are going, it really does feel like he is actually sick – and everything is just a product of his delirium.

The whole day went smoothly, too smoothly. In a way, Himchan feels like he’s too into it, and maybe he’s being too happy. But then again, there was the feeling of simple joy, and silent satisfaction – that he could have the man all to himself, without any problem.

“Say, when you get better, let’s catch this movie I’ve been eyeing,” the dishwasher says as he turns to the pondering man.

“M-movies?” he stutters.

As in, like a date?

“Yeah, well, I guess we never really hang out, you know? I just—”

Yongguk turns to the man, Himchan with his eyes the size of plates, mouth agape. He didn’t know what to make out of it. But the shy man just returns to his dishes and smiles awkwardly.

“I-I just guessed you might like the idea, I don’t really want to impose or anything,” he continued.

“I-I think I’ll be fine any minute now.”

- - -

“Then what?” Himchan could almost imagine Jieun with her shrill voice on the other line.

“What do you mean, then what?” he asked, bracing himself for the high pitched chatter he’s in for.

“What happened next? Helloooo. Movies, then what?”

“We had dinner,” Himchan said as he shifted the phone from one ear to another.

He didn’t really know how to put the whole day into words. After ‘supposedly’ feeling better, he asked Yongguk if he was still up on the offer to watch that movie he was dying to see. The man sounded ecstatic. Himchan wanted to think that he was happy because he was coming. But really, he knew he was happy they going to watch the movie. After all, as how Yongnam put it, that kid didn’t really have a lot of friends. Which was quite a wonder, with the kind of man he was.

He was popular. Everyone in the underground knows him. And judging from all the performances he had gone to, he knows that a lot of people are very fond of him. But the man was pretty reserved. And Himchan was very grateful that the man gave him even a minute, to know one another, and to become friends. Thinking about it, they had gone pretty far, farther than he imagined.

It started as a silly game to him. Finding prey in the underground. But it had blossomed into something beyond his control. Whether it was something he would regret, he really didn’t know.

“Just dinner? Then what? What did you eat? What did you say? What did he say?”

Himchan laughed. That was quite a train of words. But truth be told, nothing out of the ordinary really happened. Or maybe a lot of things did, but it all went down naturally. That it didn’t seem different at all. There was a sense of comfort, and there was a sense of belonging. With every step he took by his side, going to the theaters, with people undeniably giving them the looks – seeing as the movie was one of war and romance, it did seem strange for two ‘bros’ to be watching in their lonesome. But it didn’t matter, one small tug by Yongguk, as he dragged him in to the theaters, it felt like everything was just falling into place.

“Helloooo, earth to Himchan?”

Then a beep.

“Oh, hey, sorry, I’m getting another call, it might be important,” he says, not really meaning it.

“What could be more important than reliving your moments with— oh, no, maybe it’s… okay, call you tomorrow, mmkay?” and the line is dead.

Himchan laughs once more. One of the jewels of his life. It makes him shake his head so much whenever he remembers that he was bent on disliking her the first time he saw her. Without much thought, he blindly pushes the buttons.

“Hello?”

“Hey! So, um, did you get home safe?”

Brushing off the fact that he did walk him home, right to his door, Himchan was glad he made the call.

“Hey, yeah, you walked me home, right?”

- - -

“What’s he doing here?”

Himchan had a really pleasant week to be ruined by the likes of this guy. He wanted to dismiss the fact that he was around, but it was almost impossible, seeing that he’s almost draping himself over the taller man.

“It’s a club, duh,” Zico just rolls his eyes.

“Jiho,” Yongguk’s voice.

“Hey,” Himchan smiles at him, and at the squirt, sneering.

“What took you so long?” Yongguk asked, Himchan, surprised.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m almost up, you usually get here a lot earlier,” he says, confirming.

“Oh, I just had to run some erran—”

“He’s probably tired of going here, it happens, Yonggukkie-hyung,” the unneeded reply.

“Oh, is that—”

“No, no, of course not!” he flails, dismissing the thought. He sees Yongguk raising a brow, but it disappears as soon as it appeared. Yongguk smiles warmly at him, it may have been a product of his imagination, but he really didn’t care. It feels like he’s closer to him than ever. And just with that, Jiho can eat his heart out.

“Weeell, I have to go and warm up, I’ll see you boys around,” Yongguk says, as he fluffs Jiho’s hair, and giving Himchan a light squeeze on his shoulder.

- - -

“Can’t you sit anywhere else?” Jiho says, as he sips loudly off of his straw.

“Can you be less annoying?” he answers. No one can out-sass Himchan.

“Sure, whatever.” He dismisses him.

Himchan thought whatever it was that Yongguk saw in this guy. Knowing that he had very little friends, there should at least be something really special about this guy for them to be quite close. Himchan then, felt quite entitled too, since he had become really close with the man.

“What?” goes Jiho.

“What do you mean what?” he asked back.

“Stop staring at me, you creep,” the blonde man says.

This guy. I want to claw your eyes out.

“You’re not worth the stare,” Himchan crunches his face, mocking him.

“Just so you know, this face is going to debut with Yongguk,”

“What do you mean—”

“And when we’re in a group together, you’ll no longer have any place in his life,”

“What are you—”

“When we get really busy, and famous, you’re just going to be that one fan who’s bound to be forgotten,”

With Yongguk doing his music, and knowing every bit of direction he wanted for his life. Himchan forgot that he, too, had to live his life. Stuck in the underground, following Yongguk around, he forgot that the man was bound to debut into the mainstream someday.

There was truth to what the squirt was saying.

And this foreboding did not mean him well.

His blood ran cold.

---

Note: The promised chapter. It’s a little longer than usual. I didn’t want to rush it but here it is. I’m really sorry for the delay. It has been pretty busy. I hope you’re still out there, sticking by.

Also, here's a peace offering! Rabbits On Christmas