Part One:

{June: 9 weeks}

Whoever came up with the term “morning sickness” had obviously never been pregnant.

“Pull over,” Yoona demanded, already leaning on the door handle. “I’m going to be sick.”

Kris is already pulling to the side of the road. He’s barely stopped when Yoona shoves the door open. It’s freaking three o’clock in the afternoon, morning sickness should long be over by now. Kris leans over and holds her hair back, tracing absent circles on the back of her neck with his thumb.

When Yoona finally pulls herself back in the car, Kris hands her a can of ginger ale and some crackers. She takes the can but leaves the crackers.

“I can’t even think about food,” she moans as Kris hesitantly puts the car back in gear. “Last night I had a nightmare that there were these two villages fighting because they were both using the same Chinese character, but one used it for the number seven and one used it to write food, and I was in the middle screaming ‘Stop throwing food at me I feel like I’m going to be sick,’ and then I woke up and I actually did feel sick and all I could think about was food.” (1)

Kris looks like he wants to laugh and Yoona vows to bite him if he does. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” He finally asks.

Yoona leans her head against the car window. “Because I didn’t actually throw up and you had to be up early.”

Kris sighs and reaches for her hand.

“BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL!” Yoona screeches, sitting upright. Kris obediently retracts his hand.

Yoona continues, pointing dramatically at her husband, “When the baby is the car you keep both hands on that wheel, got it?!”

“I got it.”

Yoona falls back against the seat and gnaws on a fingernail. She’s been doing that a lot lately, since when she’s not having nightmares about food she’s having nightmares about all the things that can go wrong with her pregnancy and her baby. What if she slips? What if the baby is born with Tay-Sachs? What if it has a half-formed heart? What if she drops her child off for school one day and two hours later the school calls to say no, the kid never showed up? What if she’s not positive enough and her baby grows up thinking the world is awful?

Every other day she thinks about these things, and every other day she questions if she’s really ready for this. What terrifies her even more is that it’s too late to back out, too late to second guess herself—there’s a tiny human living inside her now, and she’s responsible for it.

“Stop eating your hands,” Kris commands. “And stop thinking. Please,” he adds when Yoona glares daggers at him. “Just for the rest of the ride, okay?”

Yoona grumbles but shuts her eyes and forces herself to think about the other thing that’s bothering her. “We should just get wallpaper with a neutral design.” They’ve known about this baby for a month and already they’re arguing about the room.

Kris groans. “And then when we have a teenager and he or she wants to redecorate, we have to tear the wall paper down and throw it away and scrape off the remaining glue and it’s going to be a huge ugly mess. If we paint it, we can paint over it again in a few years when our teenager decides to express him or herself all over the walls.”

“We can’t paint the room, it’s impossible to pick a color,” Yoona says dismissively.

“Yellow or green,” is Kris’ immediate answer.

“Those colors make me sick,” Yoona fires back, and she claps a hand to . “Pull over.”

Kris is already on it.

/////////////

Back at home Yoona lies on the sofa and Mrs. Wu fusses over her, putting a cool cloth on her wrists and trying to get her to on a lemon, which she rejects.

“It’s good for the sickness,” Mrs. Wu insists, though she moves the lemon slice away.

“I don’t understand why I’m so sick all the time,” Yoona moans. “Isn’t it supposed to go away after a while?”

Mrs. Wu shakes her head. “It peaks around three months, but it can continue past that.”

Yoona puts her hand over her stomach and sighs. “30 more weeks of this,” she groans. “And in a few weeks it’s going to get worse.”

She sits up and yells at her stomach, “How can I feed you if you keep making me sick?!”

Mrs. Wu tries to distract her from how awful she feels by telling Yoona stories from her pregnancy. She wanted sweet things from her fourth month onward and she had a horrible cavity by the end of it. She once walked ten miles to get this one particular sweet that she was craving.

“At least you have a car,” She says encouragingly and takes Yoona’s hand.

Yoona grips her mother-in-law’s fingers tightly. “Did you have nightmares?” She asks in a whisper.

Mrs. Wu clucks sympathetically. “Darling, every mother has nightmares, fathers do too. Just ask any parent how often they’ve stayed up late imagining all the horrible things that can happen to their children. To this day I sometimes catch myself getting mildly panicky when Kris gets behind the wheel of a car or gets up on a horse. Doesn’t matter how old he gets or how often I’ve seen him come back in perfect shape, I can’t stop that feeling of wanting to wrap him up in bubble wrap and keep him in a shoebox.”

Yoona’s lips twitch and she almost wants to smile, thinking about Kris in a shoebox. “How do you not go crazy?”

Mrs. Wu smiles. “You think about the good things. Christmas morning, watching them tear open presents, five years old and learning how to ride a bike, sleeping in the car on the way home from the beach. Getting their first kiss, falling in love, learning about what the world has to offer…”

She trails off and Yoona closes her eyes, letting those images wash over her. For the first time in weeks she starts to relax, to feel like she might be doing the right thing.

Mrs. Wu brushes Yoona’s hair behind her ear and she opens her eyes again. “If you only think about the bad things, you’ll go crazy. Try to balance them with the things you’re most looking forward to.”

The phone rings and Kris yells that it’s not for him. Mrs. Wu rolls her eyes, some things never change. She walks away and Yoona rolls onto her side, facing the back of the couch. Part of her is happy to have advice, but part of her wants to cry because all the things Mrs. Wu is telling her are things her own mother should have said.

{July: 12 Weeks}

Yoona is practically clinging to the toilet bowl while yelling over her shoulder. “I’m totally fine,” she promises hoarsely. “Go, go earn money for baby’s college fund.”

Kris folds his arms and rolls his eyes. “You’re obviously peachy,” he says dryly. “I can cancel the class, you know, I have that power. It’s just summer class, it’s not like we do much.”

Yoona shakes her head and the motion sends her back to the toilet. “Get out or I will start throwing things at you,” she growls.

There’s a scuffle at the door and Kris yelps. “Who let you in our house?”

“Your mother,” Jessica fires back, “Because she still loves me.”

“I love you too,” Yoona moans from the floor before she heaves again.

“Alright, you leave,” Jessica says firmly and Yoona can hear her pushing Kris out the door. “Go, go, go, I’ll take care of Yoona today. You need to go to work.”

Kris sighs in defeat. “I love you,” he calls over the sounds of Yoona retching. He’s long gone by the time she picks her head up to whisper “Back at ‘cha.”

When she stops heaving, Yoona curls up on the couch with Jessica and they watch Mean Girls for the twentieth time this month. After that it’s on to She’s the Man.

“Maybe instead of weird food cravings you’ll just have weird movie cravings,” Jessica suggests.

Yoona laughs. “Kris would like that. Maybe I’ll get him to show his students some new material.”

“Lee Minho has a new movie coming out soon,” Jessica trills. “You should take him to watch it with us!”

Yoona laughs and shakes her head. “No, I couldn’t. But you could take Jay,” She says, nudging her friend in the ribs.

Jessica blushes and covers her face. “Ugh he makes me feel like I’m in elementary school holding out one of those god-awful goody bags my mother used to make me give to everyone in my class,” She whines. “Except this time I actually care if he likes it or not.”

Yoona snorts. “That was the worst analogy I’ve ever heard in my life,” she mutters. “And trust me I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s feeling the same school-kid crush.”

Jessica leans her head on Yoona’s shoulder. “I hope we can be just like you and Kris,” she confesses. “You’ve been together for seven years and you still haven’t lost that spark, you know?”

“I do know,” Yoona admits, blushing a bit herself. Even now when she’s vomiting and crabby and scared as all hell despite her best efforts, Kris knows how to give her butterflies with one look.

“When will it be your turn to get married?” Yoona asks teasingly.

Jessica scoffs. “After you. You’re still not legally married, you know. Where’s your big white wedding?”

“I spent it all in Disney World,” Yoona reminds Jessica. It’s true, when Kris asked if she wanted a wedding Yoona said she’d rather have an amazing honeymoon, so the two of them went to Disney world for a week. It was better than any wedding she could have had.

“We’ll go pick up a marriage license when I feel better,” Yoona says. “Maybe we’ll do the wedding thing for our tenth anniversary. Vow renewal and all that.”

“That would be cute,” Jessica agrees. “Jay and I won’t be like that. I’ll get knocked up and we’ll drive to Vegas and go to a drive-by wedding chapel.”

That’s surprising. Yoona always imagined Jessica wanting a wedding on the beach and a fabulous gown and an after-party to end the world.

“You’d be such a beautiful bride though,” She cries. “What happened to all those math classes daydreaming about your wedding dress?”

Jessica shrugs. “I don’t need all that,” she says simply. “You and Kris exchanged vows in the back of a car and you’ve been together for seven years. Kim Kardashian blew millions on her wedding and look what happened. And like you said, I’d rather have a fantastic honeymoon than one night of partying. Although my dad might be a little disappointed about not getting to walk me down the aisle,” she adds thoughtfully.

“We’ll have a joint wedding then,” Yoona says quickly. “And my baby can be the flower child-slash-ring bearer.”

Jessica grins widely. “That sounds like a great plan.”

{August: 15 Weeks}

Yoona runs her fingers along the edge of the crib.

“It’s solid mahogany,” the saleslady pitches. “They don’t make them like this anymore. Very sturdy, it won’t tip over. You should see the matching changing table—it’s gorgeous, plenty of room for baby and baby supplies!”

But Yoona’s still stuck on the ‘tip over’ part. She feels the blood drain from her face and remembers an episode of Desperate Housewives where a cabinet fell on one woman’s daughter, crushing her to death.

Kris grabs her arms just when she feels like she’s about to faint. “Thank you,” he says to the saleslady, “But we need to go.” And he practically carries her out of the store just before she starts to go into panic mode.

“I’m sorry,” she gasps as Kris tugs her outside. He quickly scoops her up and starts to jog toward the car.

“It’s okay,” he assures her, but Yoona shakes her head and buries her face in her hands.

“No it’s not,” she nearly wails. Kris unlocks the car and opens the back door. She collapses in the back seat and starts to cry in earnest. “I’m trying, really,” she sobs, “I just…I keep thinking about…what if? I couldn’t live with myself if our baby ever got hurt!”

Kris takes her face in his hands and holds her steady. “I know,” he says gently. “I know you’re trying, you’re doing great—no really,” he insists when Yoona laughs hysterically, “You have been doing so well. I think about it too, you know I do. We’re both going through this.”

Yoona struggles to breathe deeply and slowly like she discussed with her therapist. She thinks about how Kris has been crazy baby-proofing the house, buying cushions for door handles and counter corners, never mind that it’s going to be almost two years before their baby is even going to start crawling.

“You’re not alone in this fear,” he reminds her, “But there are things that you need to go through and thing that you need to linger on and panic over. It’s in your right to be scared.”

“Not like this,” Yoona yells. “This can’t be normal! I can’t keep breaking down in department stores. I have to be strong, I can’t keep being a weak, panicky, unsure woman! I won’t do that to my baby.”

Kris looks down for a second, knowing what, or who, she’s talking about. When he looks up, he looks sad and tired.

Yoona touches his face and softens her tone. “It’s not fair to you either,” she mutters. “You shouldn’t have to be the only strong one.”

“So what do we do?” Kris asks.

Yoona steels herself. “We start by picking out a goddamn crib,” she says firmly. “One that won’t poke, pinch or crush our baby. And we do it without breaking down in the store. I am super woman!” She yells, startling a pigeon that has been hoping for a handout. “I am a strong, smart woman and I am capable of making good choices for my baby, for my family!”

Kris finally smiles and Yoona kisses him. “I can do this,” she promises. “We can do this.”

Kris takes her hand and helps her up. “Yes we can,” he agrees.

{August: 17 Weeks}

Worse than the nausea and the nerves, Yoona comes to find, is the sheer boredom. She’s never been so desperate to work in her life, but she can’t do anything involving strenuous activity or heavy lifting. She can’t even ride anymore, which might just be the worst thing. She had been getting so good with the horses.

She goes to the barn all the time and hangs over the stalls, whining to the horses about her problems. Her favorite is a white horse named Pepper. She always seems the most sympathetic to Yoona’s problems.

“I’ve cleaned the house a hundred times,” Yoona tells Pepper. “I’m getting to the point where I could do it with my eyes closed. Mom keeps telling me that I’m going to wear down the floors if I keep scrubbing.”

Pepper whinnies softly and fixes Yoona with her big, soft eyes.

“But what else can I do?” Yoona demands. “This is my job, I run the barn now. I can still do paper work and stuff, but it’s not like I can pick up a shovel and start mucking out the stalls.”

Pepper munches on her hay. Yoona sighs and hunches her shoulders.

“Just wait until I arrange to get you knocked up,” she grumbles. “Then you’ll know how I feel.”

{September: 19 weeks}

The first time Yoona feels the baby move, she thinks she’s about to be sick and runs to the bathroom. It takes a moment for her to realize that even though she’s nauseous, there’s no sour taste in and her knees aren’t shaking, which always happens when she’s about to throw up. She left standing outside the bathroom wondering what the hell just happened?

Then it happens again and it sends her to her knees, one hand on her abdomen and one hand over .

“Oh my God,” she breathes. “Oh my God…”

Kris finds her a minute later and nearly panics. “What…are you alright? Did you fall?!”

Yoona shakes her head, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over. “I’m fine…I’m pregnant. Oh my God Kris, I’m having a baby. We’re having a baby!”

Kris looks baffled. “We’ve known about that for weeks! We have a crib in the spare bedroom!”

Yoona shakes her head and nearly throws herself into Kris’ lap. “It just hit me now, I guess. What that means, you know. I have this tiny person just chilling out in my body, and soon I’m going to have a baby and he or she is going to love me…right?” She’s crying now, big fat tears that drip into and on her blouse.

“Oh,” Kris says softly. He holds her and kisses her forehead. “Yes, our baby is going to adore you.”

“Good,” she sobs. “Because I already love our baby.”

Kris grins into her hair. “Me too, babe.”

Yoona looks down at her stomach. “Do you hear that?” She calls softly. “Mommy and daddy love you.”

Late that night she sneaks into the bathroom and folds her hands over the spot where she felt her baby nudge her. “Mommy loves you,” she whispers. “Mommy loves you so much. She’s going to be strong for you, no more breaking down in parking lots, no more wondering if I’m not ready to be a mother. I’m ready. I’m ready for you.”

A few tears slip down her cheeks and Yoona brushes them away. “And I’m not going anywhere,” she vows. “Mommy’s going to stay right here. She’s not going to leave you, or daddy. Not now, not ever. You’re stuck with me, kid.”

When she crawls back into bed, Kris rolls over and curls his arm around her waist. “You alright?” He asks, mouth pressed against her shoulder.

Yoona takes his hand and presses it to her stomach. “We’re fine.”

{September: 21 Weeks}

“I don’t want to know,” Yoona says firmly, hands folded over her stomach. She feels like a balloon, soon she’ll have to go shopping for actual maternity clothes and she’s just not looking forward to that.

Kris nods as he grabs the car keys. “Okay, but you know you still have a few months to think about it.”

“I know, and I don’t want to know,” Yoona insists. “I don’t want people buying just pink frilly things or race cars for my baby. I want both, I won’t have my child be defined by what color the blankets are, or by—”

“You know,” Kris interrupts, “You could find out and then just not tell anyone.”

Yoona shakes her head wildly. “No, no, no! I couldn’t keep a secret like that! Especially not from Tiffany, oh my god she’d do anything to get it out of me!” Tiffany was Yoona’s roommate in college and that girl is perhaps an even louder firecracker than Jessica is. She’s desperate to know everything about Baby Wu, and when Tiffany wants to know something she never lets up.

Kris snorts and covers it with a cough. “Tiffany can be rather frightening,” he agrees.

Yoona nods. “And that’s why we aren’t going to find out.”

Five minutes into the car ride she’s changing her mind. “I don’t know if I can wait five months though!”

Kris finally bursts out laughing. “This is the ninth time you’ve changed your mind this week!”

“It’s the damn name,” Yoona growls. “Too many names, I need to narrow it down somehow!”

That’s the one thing they agree on, they can’t pick a name.

“How about Alaska?” Kris suggests. Yoona groans and sinks down in her seat. (2)

“Believe me, I’m considering it,” she mutters darkly. “Even if that book did make me cry.”

{November: 27 Weeks}

Jessica keeps randomly lunging for her belly and the sixth time she does it Yoona nearly clocks her. “You’ll wake up my baby!” She yells, holding a pillow in front of her torso.

Jessica pouts and looks at her wide-eyed. “I’m the only one who hasn’t felt the baby kick yet!” She wails, “I’m the godmother! I should have been next in line after Grandma!”

Yoona flaps her hands in Jessica’s direction. “Go plan my baby shower,” she growls. “I’ll tell you when baby wakes up.”

Jessica huffs and goes back to the guest list. “Tiffany is practically up the wall with curiosity about the gender..”

Yoona groans and claws at her face. “You think she’s the only one?!” She yelps. “Everyone is on my back!! My sister was joking that she’s going to come with me to my next appointment and find out herself, and then she’ll tell my father!”

Jessica looks up again. “Want to know what I think it’s going to be?” She sing-songs. “I think—”

“You shut your mouth!!” Yoona screeches. “For heaven’s sake if you aren’t going to plan then take me to Taco Bell. I need tacos yesterday!”

“You’re going to pop out a burrito if you keep this up,” Jessica mumbles. Yoona pretends not to hear her as the baby kicks wildly and she claps her hand to her side.

“You made me wake Junior,” she groans. She’s got to stop yelling, the baby doesn’t like when she does that.

Jessica swats her hand aside and presses both her hands to Yoona’s baby bump. “Come on,” she pleads. “Kick for me! Auntie Jessie wants to say hi!”

Yoona’s head falls back. “Please,” she groans, “Just kick for your Aunt.”

The baby nudges softly and Jessica squeals. “Hi baby! Hi! I’m your mom’s best friend! I’m the reason you were created—I hooked your hot mama up!!!”

Yoona can just imagine how all future conversations with Auntie Jessica are going to go.

{December: 30 weeks}

Kris rests the side of his head on Yoona’s stomach, careful not to put too much weight on her.

“Hi baby,” he says softly. “How are you feeling?”

There’s a gentle kick and Yoona smiles. “Junior recognizes our voices,” she whispers. “Every time we talk—oh, there we go again.”

Yoona has taken to walking around the house singing so that the baby gets used to her voice. She sings in English, Korean, and even Chinese when Mrs. Wu is around to help her with pronunciation. She always gets a positive reaction when she sings from one group in particular.

“TVXQ is a favorite,” she tells Kris. He laughs.

“Just like mom,” he says.

Yoona sits back and rubs her back. “We really do need to start thinking of a name,” she reminds Kris. They’ve got the baby’s room set up—Mrs. Wu moved her bedroom downstairs years ago, and that’s the room they now sleep in. Kris’ old room is the one that’s been renovated. Yoona finally caved to paint and they went with a gorgeous dark purple with a white trim around the window and door frames.

 The crib, dresser/changing table, rocking chair, even the wind-up mobile that hangs over the crib have all been put together and arranged in the room. Not that the baby will be spending much time in that room; for the first few months Junior will be sleeping in a bassinet next to mommy and daddy so that they won’t have to run back and forth for night time feedings. During the baby shower they’ll get diapers, bottles, pacifiers and clothes (gender-neutral), but they’ve already stock-piled a bunch of those things in the baby’s closet. They have bedding, a car seat, a diaper bag (or one on the way, a gift from Yoona’s sister).

As Yoona runs down the checklist, the only glaring omission is the name.

They’ve already agreed that since they live in America, their baby should have an English name. That was a hurdle all on its own, should baby have an ethnic name, and should it be Chinese or Korean? Finally they decided that one name was headache enough, if the kid grew up and wanted another name, he or she could pick it.

“Where do we even start?” Kris wondered, sitting up and scooting down the bed so he was by Yoona’s feet.

“Three months ago?” Yoona suggests. Kris pulls her feet into his lap and starts to massage her ankles.

“You are the best husband I could ever ask for, do you know that?” She sighs. Kris chuckles.

“Remember that when you’re in labor.”

{December: 32 Weeks}

“I like Lilo,” Yoona confesses. She’s channeling around on the TV and the movie has popped up. “She was such a kick- little girl. I’d want our daughter to be like that.”

“Do you think it’s a girl?” Kris asks, looking up from his computer. He’s Google-ing baby names.

Yoona bites her lip. “I don’t know. I read that you crave sour things when you’re having a girl, but then some blogs also said sweet things. I just want tacos and hamburgers!”

Kris folds his arms and looks at her. “What do you want? A girl or a boy?”

“You want a girl,” Yoona says confidently. “I know you do, you want a little Princess.”

“Cowgirl Princess,” he corrects. “But I would be perfectly happy with—”

“A healthy baby,” Yoona finishes. “As would I, but we still need a name.”

Yoona rubs her hands over her baby bump and concentrates, trying to “feel her baby’s energy” or something. Tiffany was beside herself the last time Yoona saw her. “Please tell me you at least have a name,” she begged, and Yoona couldn’t even tell her that.

“You need to pick one!” Tiffany cried. “I don’t care if you don’t tell me, but you can’t be one of those parents who goes to the hospital without even picking a name! it’s a big decision and you’ve barely even thought about it!”

Yoona groans and hits the back of her head against the couch. “Tiffany will kill me. And she’s a forensics major so she’ll be able to kill me and nobody will know about it.”

“Tiffany loves you too much to kill you. Plus Jessica would never let it happen,” Kris reminds her.

Yoona sits up. “Okay, we have to pick the name before February,” she says decisively. February 20^th is her due date, she wants to leave some time before that to get used to the name.

“Okay,” Kris agrees. “You like Lilo.”

Yoona’s shocked. “Well, yes, but…I don’t think I want that exact name.”

“What about the name do you like?” Kris presses.

Yoona thinks for a second. “I like the double L. Or the letter L in general.”

Kris nods. “For a girl and a boy?”

Yoona shakes her head. “Just for a girl.”

Kris rattles off a bunch of names. “Lilly, Laurel, Lauren, Louise…”

Yoona throws up her hands. “We have to pair all of those with her last name!”

It takes them hours to sort through the names that they don’t like. Finally they are left with a handful and Yoona insists that they can go through them another day.

“What about a boy?” Kris asks.

Yoona thinks for a second. “I’ve been thinking about that…I like Jaden. J-A-D-E-N.”

“Jaden Wu,” Kris repeats. “I like it.”

Yoona nods. “It has a nice ring, right?”

Kris stands up and sits next to her on the couch. “It does. I approve, Jaden if it’s a boy.”

Yoona sighs. “I bet it’s a girl then.”

Kris laughs. “Because we can’t think of a name?”

Yoona rubs her temples. “Exactly.”

{December: 32 Weeks}

In the throes of third trimester boredom, Yoona sits down one day and does something she hasn’t done since college. She writes.

She majored in business, but she took a lot of writing courses in college, and she misses writing. She starts in the early morning when Kris leaves to take care of the horses. When he gets back, she’s still at it.

“What are you working on?” He asks, pulling a chair up next to her.

Yoona tilts her laptop to him. “A story for our baby,” She says.

Kris reads through it quickly. “This is really good,” he tells her. “You know, you could be a bestselling author if you wanted to.”

Yoona stretches her arms over her head and laughs. “Where would I get that time?”

Kris shrugs. “Here and there, right now…but anyway, this is a great start. If you want, I can show this to one of my friends at the college. He works as an editor, he might be able to give you advice on becoming a children’s book author.”

Yoona taps her fingers against the table. “You’ve been planning this.”

Kris looks up at her with surprise. “What?”

She flicks his arm. “Don’t play dumb with me. All those years praising me when I told the kids stories after their lessons…you’ve been waiting for me to sit down and actually write something so you could make that suggestion.”

Kris opens his mouth, closes it again and smiles weakly. “Okay, you caught me.”

Yoona smiles and ruffles his hair. “I’ll think about it.”

It would at least be better than sitting around doing nothing.

{February: 39 Weeks}

Yoona’s pacing around the house, one hand on her back and one under her stomach. She looks like a stick with a ball taped to one side, she’s so bloated and ready to pop. She’s done being pregnant, she’s done waiting, she’s ready to hold her baby and to say, “Hi, welcome to the world.”

Kris comes home from his evening class and finds Yoona pacing around the living room. “Honey? You alright?”

Yoona waves her hand at him. “I’m fine. I think I’m in labor, finally. I left you dinner, go eat.”

Kris drops his bag on the floor. “You’re WHAT?!” he yells.

“I’m in labor,” Yoona repeats.

Mrs. Wu walks in. “Oh hello, Kris.” She says cheerfully. “Just got home? Go eat something, Yoona saved you dinner.”

“She’s in labor,” Kris repeats in a strangled tone. “Mom, she’s in labor.”

“Yes, dear,” Mrs. Wu sighs. “But it’s not pressing just yet. She’s got a few more hours until she can go to the hospital.”

Kris looks like he’s on the verge of passing out. “You want to wait a few hours?!”

“If I went now,” Yoona interrupts, “They’d send me home and tell me there’s nothing they can do just yet.”

“Hi Jessica,” Kris says cheerfully. Yoona rounds on him and yes, he’s got the phone out.

“Don’t you dare!” She cries. He ignores her.

“Yoona’s in labor, she wants to wait a few hours to go to the hospital.” He puts the phone on speaker just as Jessica starts screaming.

“YOU GET MY GOD-BABY TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!”

Yoona yells back. “I’m fine, I’m totally fine! This baby’s not coming for another day at least, I have time!”

Five hours later she’s in the back of the car on the way to the hospital. Her contractions have rapidly moved closer together, now she’s having one every five minutes.

“We’re right on schedule,” Yoona gasps as she squeezes Mrs. Wu’s hand. “They tell you, go to the hospital when the contractions are five minutes apart, last one minute, and have been consistent for the last hour.”

She’s mostly saying it to calm Kris, who is so pale Yoona is thinking about telling him to lie down in the backseat. Jessica showed up at their door 20 minutes ago, grabbed Yoona’s hospital bag and all but forced everyone into her car yelling that it was time to get their asses in gear. Yoona has never been more glad to see her best friend in her life, since it meant Kris didn’t have to drive and neither did her mother in law.

Now Jessica eyes her in the rearview mirror and asks for the fifth time, “Why hasn’t your water broken yet?”

“Those TV shows are all lies,” Yoona says. “You can start having contractions without that happening.”

“Less talking more breathing!” Kris yells.

Once they get to the maternity ward, Jessica and Mrs. Wu are told to wait outside.

“Call my sister,” Yoona yells to Jessica as the nurses wheel her into a room. “Tell her not to come down yet, though.”

She grips Kris’ hand and he breathes with her.

“This is your first time?” The nurse asks as she checks Yoona’s dilation. Both of them nod and the nurse smiles and pats Yoona’s knee.

“You’re doing fine,” she says encouragingly. “Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”

“We wanted to wait,” Kris answers as Yoona is rocked by another contraction. She squeezes her eyes shut and breathes shakily through .

Kris her face with his free hand. “Are you alright? How are you feeling?”

Yoona knows he’s not talking about the labor pains, even though they’re killing her. He’s talking about her emotional state. Is she panicky? Is she having doubts?

Yoona manages to smile. “I’m ready to hold our baby. I’m ready to be a mommy.”

Yoona looks down at the swell of her stomach and smiles again. “You hear that baby? Mommy’s ready for you.”

{Week 39: Delivery. February 23: 3:45 AM}

“It’s a girl! Yoona, we have a little baby girl!”

Yoona struggles up on her elbows. Her arms are shaking, pain still wracks her body but she hears her baby start to cry—weak at first, then with growing volume. It’s the sweetest sound she’s ever heard.

The doctor calls out some numbers, pounds and inches. The nurses are wrapping her daughter in a blanket, wiping her face. “Give her to me,” Yoona gasps. “Please, let me hold her.”

The nurse smiles at her and makes her way over. “Here’s the little girl,” she says softly, and Yoona holds out her arms. Next to her she hears Kris choke as he looks at their daughter for the first time.

“She’s beautiful,” he whispers as the nurse places her in Yoona’s arms. Yoona gasps at how tiny she is, how little she seems to weigh. Her face is scrunched up and red, she’s still crying and Yoona thinks she’ll never get tired of hearing that sweet sound.

“Hello, baby,” Yoona manages as she starts to cry. “Mommy’s here.”

She kisses her daughter’s forehead and turns to Kris. “Say hi to your daddy,” she whispers, handing her over. Kris is tearing up as he takes her and gently touches her cheek.

“Hello beautiful girl,” he says softly. Yoona cranes her neck and Kris bends down to her level so they can both look at their baby.

“She’s got a mohawk,” Yoona laughs, lifting a hand to her face and wiping away her tears. Kris leans in and kisses her even as he starts to laugh too.

“She rocks that mohawk though,” Kris tells her as he hands their girl back to Yoona.

Yoona adjusts her hold and she quiets a bit, now her cries sound more like coos. Yoona’s eyes start to well up again and she wonders if everything her daughter does will make her want to cry from happiness.

“We’re ready to move you to your room now,” one of the nurses says. Yoona looks up in surprise, she hadn’t realized how long she’d been staring at her little girl.

“We need to write down the baby’s name,” another nurse says.

“Lila Wu,” Yoona and Kris say at the same time. “L-I-L-A.”

Yoona smiles down at her baby. Her eyes are closed and she’s snuggling close to her mommy. “Welcome to the world, my little angel.”

(1)- I actually had this dream, but I wasn’t pregnant when it happened XD

(2) Reference to the book Looking for Alaska by John Green.

This part alone was over 6,000 words, the whole thing is about 11,700. I wrote it in three days--please pardon any mistakes but I am just so sick of looking at this thing right now :| 

Part 2 out soon!