I lay on the floor with my floor, covering my face with my arm. I was thoroughly exausted. This pre-debut preparation was seriously not a joke. We had been dancing the same song for over 2 hours, and this was the first break we had taken.

“Ah, I’m so tired.” I whined.

“Tsk. All you ever do is complain.” Min Hee unnie chided. Even her powerful voice lacked its usual strength, eroded by the strain of rehearsals.

I moved my arm up my face so that it no longer covered my eyes. As I thought, Min Hee unnie was still marking her steps in front of the mirror, gazing into it with a determination that should have made it melt.

I sighed to myself and covered my eyes with my arm again. 

This is so hard.

“Yah, yah, yah, what is this? I thought you girls would be practicing dilligently, but I stepped into the practice room to find a bunch of lazy pigs.”

I immediately hopped up onto my feet, ignoring the protests of my aching muscles.

Yoon Doo Joon of BEAST stood at the door, his hands on his hips, mock disapproval on his face.

“Annyeong, oppa!” I ran over to greet him cheerfully.

“Aniyo, oppa, I swear, we were practicing dilligently. You just came at the wrong time.” Young Mi protested from her spot at the far end of the wall. Thankfully, her strange way of addressing others extended only to the members.

Min Hee and Ae Sook bowed respectfully before coming to stand beside me. The BEAST sunbaes were probably practicing today. Doo Joon was wearing a plain black tee with grey slacks, topped off with a red beanie on his head.

“Mm, annyeong.” Doo Joon seonbae patted my head. I felt my lips curving into an automatic giddy smile. He turned to address Young Mi. “Oho, are you sure? Why don’t you prove to me that you’ve been working hard?”

Young Mi raised her chin defiantly.

“Arasseo, we’ll show you just how good we’ve become.” Young Mi turned to Min Hee unnie for approval. She was the leader after all.

Min Hee smiled, excitement glittering in her eyes.

“Seonbae, prepare to be amazed.”

Doo Joon seonbae pumped a fist dramatically, an ecstatic grin on his face.

“Asa!” He ducked his head out of the room and called out. “Yah, aedeul, come here! The hoobaes are going to show us their song!”

 “Yay~” that had to be Yo Seob oppa.

“Annyeong~” He ruffled my hair as he came in, completely messing it up.

I squealed and ducked out of his reach.

“Oppa!” I pouted and wrinkled my nose as I looked up at him. He was wearing a yellow cap with his training clothes, which consisted a white graphic tee and black baggy pants.

Yo Seob mimicked my expression. I giggled and reached up to poke his cheek.

“Awwh that’s so sweet…Bong Cha, what happened to your hair?” Gi Kwang said as he came in, a bemused expression on his face.

Hyun Seung, who was in the midst of grabbing the bottle of water from Gi Kwang’s hands, froze and looked at me, before breaking out into laughter.

“Must be Yo Seob’s fault.” Hyun Seung glanced down in surprise as Gi Kwang pushed the bottle of water into his outstretched hand.

“Mwoga? What is Yo Seob hyung’s fault?” Dong Woon peeked out from behind Hyun Seung’s shoulder, startling his hyung who spilled water down his front.

“Yah!” Hyun Seung glanced at his shirt and glared at Dong Woon. Dong Woon merely smiled sheepishly at him, before transferring his eyes to me. His smirk widened at the sight of my hair.

“Oh, I see…”

I stuck out my tongue at him and went to the mirror. Pulling my hair out of my now messy ponytail, I shook my head and ran a finger through my thick hair. It was waist-length. Black, like all Asian hair, but dyed red at the tips. After I had all the tangles out, I tied it back up again.

I turned back to the BEAST sunbaes, wanting to ask when Jun Hyung would arrive, but he was already there, in the midst of elbowing Yo Seob in the ribs. Yo Seob turned a shade red and smacked him in the stomach.

“We’re all here, you can start now.” Doo Joon addressed Min Hee, giving her an encouraging smile.

Min Hee took a deep breath, before walking over to the speakers. After fiddling with it for a while, the intro to our song came on. All of us quickly scurried into place, putting on our professional expressions while performing our dance steps with renewed enthusiasm.

For me, at least. How could I not, when my idols were my audience?

They were the entire reason I even auditioned into cube in the first place. The only reason I would ever risk embarassing myself. I wanted to be closer to them, closer to Yo Seob. I auditioned, but I never expected that I would pass.

I guess I was much better than I expected, because here I am now, preparing to debut. With 3 other brilliant, driven team members who viewed the stage as the place they truly belonged, while I’m still questioning my right to be here.

The song came to an end, and the four of us struck our finishing pose.

The BEAST sunbaes hooted and cheered, calling out encouragements. Min Hee, Young Mi and Ae Sook smiled proudly, radiant smiles on their faces. I pulled my lips into a hesitant smile as well. Somehow I felt that those cheers shouldn’t be meant for me.

“It’s lunch time now. Let’s order take out and eat together.” Gi Kwang said as he looked up at the clock on the wall. The BEAST members agreed with murmurs in varying tones. I glanced over to them, and noticed that Yo Seob seemed to be staring right at me, his eyebrows knitted.

Did I do something wrong? I worried as I walked over to join them on the floor with my group members. Young Mi had ran ahead and was already sitting in front of Dong Woon, who held a phone in his hands.

“Oppa, jajangmyeon. I want jajangmyeon.” She bounced up and down excitedly, thrilled at the prospect of food.

Min Hee unnie smacked her on the head, scary as always.

“Aniya, you can’t eat that. You have to diet for our debut, remember?” She chided, although something in her expression told me that she wanted to eat jajangmyeon just as much as Young Mi did.

Young Mi pouted and pretended to cry. Dong Woon hilariously became alarmed and began to console her.

“It’s okay, Young Mi ah, don’t cry. Min Hee ssi, just eat it today, alright, since your oppas are treating.” He looked up at Min Hee with big pleading eyes, almost as if she was the unnie and he was the dongsaeng. Young Mi looked up at Min Hee with the same expression.

Min Hee could only sigh, pushed around by the rest of us as she usually was, and agreed reluctantly.

Young Mi cheered and danced about the room, singing “Jajangmyeon~ jajangmyeon~”

I laughed as I went to sit beside Yo Seob, who still had his eyebrows drawn close.  

I moved closer to whisper in his ear.

“What? Did I do something wrong?”

He shook his head slightly and bent down so that he could whisper to me.

“Actually, I was worried about you. What’s wrong? You seem to be worried about something.”

My heart bboyed as I struggled to hide my fear. I smiled up at him with the best fake smile I could muster.

“Aniya, what could I possibly be worried about?”

Regardless of my doubts, I had to hide it better now, pretend nothing was wrong.

He would hate me if he knew that the only reason I was here was because of him.