Taemin was always following me. I was Taemin’s elder sister’s best friend. I was over almost every day after school, sharing in the cookies and milk ritual. Where ever Iza and I went, Taemin wasn’t far behind us, like a little puppy who wanted attention. It didn’t matter what Iza or I did; we tried to embarrass him by making him play tea with us. We would dress up Taemin in girl clothes and make-up. Nothing swayed his attentions, nothing got him down. Taemin simply wanted to be with us no matter what. Everyone said he would grow out of it eventually; all younger siblings are at one time infatuated with older sibling and anything associated with them. The adults always said that he would fall in love with a sport next and then other girls and that would be the end of it.

It never happened though. We girls moved into middle school and Taemin was stuck in elementary school. He was waiting on a stool way too tall for his stature after school, grinning from ear to ear, waiting to hear how different middle school was and not understanding it at all. When Taemin started going to middle school, puberty hit but not in the way most boys are affected. Taemin didn’t grow or become manlier. Taemin stayed his slim and slender self.

He went from cute little boy to cute older boy. His face longed out, but he kept his deep dimples and rosy cheeks. His eyes started to sparkle with mischief when he came home from middle school. Taemin was becoming popular. Instead of being the tiny boy that the other boys picked on because adults were always cooing about how cute he was he changed into the guy all the girls thought was cute. It would have been boy suicide if they continued to pick on Taemin; the girls would just glare at them and clutch Taemin to their bodies as if he had a mortal wound. When he started high school he was at the cusp of manhood. He was still that slender cute boy but you could tell his body was just waiting to grow into his potential.

Taemin seemed to stay himself no matter what age he was. In my eyes, it always made Taemin give the impression that he was younger then he really was. He was going to be 14 in the fall but he still looked like such a young boy. The dimples didn’t help, but the girls liked them readily enough. I had seen the groups of girls that sighed and made doe-eyes whenever Taemin passed. He never noticed it though. Taemin was friendly to everyone, but it was the same kind of friendly. The only time he changed was when he was the adoring fan he was to Iza and I. He idolized us for some reason. For example, he was more hyper then his normal self; I guessed he was excited to be in the same school as Iza and I. I was actually hoping that Taemin would grow up a little bit and have his own life. It wasn’t like he didn’t have friends, he did, he just preferred to be in my company. It wasn’t annoying, just odd to have someone staring at you, their full attention on you, with such the intensity that Taemin did.

When I left for my first day of senior year, Iza was waiting outside the gate that finished the fence on my yard. She was leaning against it, her arms folded in front of her, quietly contemplating something on the ground on the other side of the fence. When she heard my door close, her gaze lifted and her eyes lighted up when she saw I had come out.

“If you were going to take any longer, I was going to come get you,” she said with a gentle smile.

“It’s the first day of our senior year. If I don’t make a good impression, I’m going to really regret it.” I replied, flipping my curled hair. This year, Iza and I were going to be paid attention to. I was going to get us prom dates and it was going to be the best year ever.

Iza just shook her head at me, not understanding this need. Iza is the type of girl that’s quiet and shy. She’d never leave her house except to go to the library or the cafe to read without me. She was a gentle soul and I tried my best to protect her from the worst of high school. Luckily for me, Iza was not the type of girl to get crushes on boys; it was like the only characters that existed to her were Heath from Wuthering Heights and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. Those tragic and gentlemanly characters were who she was in love with. Whilst Iza’s head was in the clouds, sighing about Darcy, she didn’t have an eye for any boy at school. I think the day Iza’s heart was broken was the day I killed.

“Where’s Taemin?” I asked looking around.

“He was still looking in the mirror, making sure his hair was curly and perfect as well. He’ll probably be late. You know he can focus on things so much, he’ll forget about the world,” Iza said, looking into my eyes with a look that seemed to say “like someone else I know.”

“Ugh, we were leaving early just because he begged to come with us in the morning. That little twerp! That’s the last time I let his pouting convince me to do something.”

“How could you say no to those dimples though?” Iza asked me, smiling at the thought of her baby brother’s dimples.

“Hooooooooooooooolliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss!” came a shout from behind me and I cringed. I was then glomped by said baby brother. I turned my head to see a smiling monkey clinging to my back.

“Get off me!” I yelled, trying to shake Taemin off. Taemin got down, but gripped my upper arms to keep my attention. “My hair looks okay right?” he asked in all seriousness that he could muster. I looked into those puppy eyes and saw the need of my approval. I casted a cursorily glance over his think curly hair masterfully moussed into a poof on the top of his head, with curls here and there falling into his eyes. He would shake his head every so often to lodge them out of his eye sight. He really was cute as a button. I noticed he was getting taller then. If he kept growing, he was going to be taller than me. It was going to be weird looking up into those eyes.

“It looks fine,” I informed him gruffly and his eyes lit up. And then, to my surprise, he gave my cheek a kiss.

I felt my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. As I raised my hand to my cheek, I looked to Iza for guidance. The look on my face made her giggle, which she failingly tried to cover with her book. I looked back to Taemin, to understand why he would do that. His answer was a cheeky grin and he ran off in the direction of school.

“Get back here you…you…” I faltered to think of a word to call him.

“I think Taemin is growing up,” stated Iza, with a thoughtful look on her face.

“How about we forget this ever happened, and go to school. Remember, at the end of this year I plan on getting waaaay more than a peck on the cheek.”

ZZZZZZ

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Later that month, Taemin came to me with a task. He pretty much begged me to take him shopping. Becoming popular in high school is apparently different then when he was in middle school. So, seeing as how I had experience being in high school so long, I was the perfect candidate to take along.

“Why don’t you ask you sister?” I suggested, not sure if I wanted to be alone with him. I mean, he’d been acting weird lately. I didn’t want to encourage him.

Taemin gave me a look along the lines of ‘are you kidding me’.  “You know Iza isn’t a shopper. She picks out 2 completely different styles and somehow with her bohemian look, she makes it go together.  She hasn’t the faintest idea what’s cool right now. I know you do, you have those fashion magazines all over your room.”

He had a point. Iza was hopeless when it came to fashion, and I did know a lot. I conceded to helping him and it was like I made his day. Such an easily excitable puppy, our Taemin is.

We made it to a couple shops with no hiccups. I made Taemin try on some outfits that I knew were in. Luckily for him, slim was in: tight fitting jeans, high top sneakers and stripped sweaters. Taemin picked a few things that interested him and I nodded my approval. He was getting the hang of it.

The problem came when we went to a cute boutique. This place didn’t have brand name clothes, but it had interesting clothes enough for it to snag me at the window. There was a cashier at the desk and 2 older sales women in their 30’s. It was when Taemin and I were fighting over buying a t-shirt he picked out. Taemin was begging me like normal, to allow him to get it. I was arguing with him that a light pink t-shirt was completely out of the question.

“Don’t you remember when I saved you from those bullies when we were younger? They made fun of you because you looked like a girl. You do NOT want make that impression in high school.”

“Holliiiiiiiiiiiis!” Taemin whined, and was hanging off me, hoping that that more childish he acted the more likely I was to relent and let him get it. I crossed my arms and shook my head. Finally he gave up, and with head hung low, went back into the changing room.

I sat down and waited for him to change, so we could pay for our purchases and leave. One of the sales women came over and I assumed that she was going to ask us what we were taking. I picked up the items but became confused when she sat beside me.

“I just want to let you know how brave I think you two are. You make an older woman and younger man couple look too cute.”

I was really trying to get a reply out fast enough, but just ended up stuttering nonsense words. Before I could get anything coherent out, Taemin stuck out his head. I was crossing my fingers, hoping he didn’t hear that but I was sadly let down. He said his thanks to the compliment and then winked at the sales lady! The sales lady blushed and I glared at her. She finally got my meaning, took Taemin’s clothes he was going to buy and ran to the counter. I was fuming as Taemin paid the woman and we left the store.

“Taemin! You shouldn’t have encouraged her. You know that wasn’t true. I don’t understand how you think you can get away with these things. You are way too spoiled. I’m going to have to be less lenient with you.” I scolded him as soon as the door closed behind us.

“Aw, come on Hollis. Don’t you think it would be fun to pretend?” asked Taemin, with a hopeful look on his face. What was he saying? I didn’t have a chance to ask that question. Taemin grabbed my hand and was already pulling me to our next location: a photo booth.

“Oh no, I am not taking a picture with you. The next thing you’ll do is take it around show everyone your older girlfriend.”

Taemin typically pouted back at me. “I will not. I want this picture as a keepsake. When I look at it, I’ll think ‘this was the first and last year I was in school with Hollis’. Please? I promise I won’t show it to anyone, it’ll just be between you and me.”

I rolled my eyes but give in like the weakling I am. I smiled for one, made crossed-eyes on the second, kissing face for the third, and the forth Taemin kissed me on the cheek, again! When the pictures came out, I had to agree: we did look like a cute couple. I had my exhausted exasperation with a hint of affection and Taemin’s cute adoration; we did make that kind of couple look cute. Ah, what was I thinking?  I have to banish such thoughts from my head. This was Iza’s younger brother! If anything was breaking the girl code that was number one on the list of things not to do.

ZZZZZZ

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I never realized that when I decided to become popular that I would literally have no time for myself. If I wasn’t entertaining various people to keep up my popularity, I was doing errands for Student Council or going to events that had to do with said popular people, be it sporting events or parties. I found myself weeks later, beyond tired. So I decided to go to the one place that was unchanged.

There was a field located relatively in the centre of our neighborhood, a pathway if you would to get to Iza and Taemin’s house. We would always meet there to play make-believe. There was an old apple tree there and that was where I chose to sit. I took out my fashion magazine and started to thumb through the pages. I must have fallen asleep because I found myself waking up and noticed that the sun was starting to set. I went to unfold my legs because they had become a bit numb from sitting in that position for that long but there was this odd pressure on my lap. I looked down and saw that Taemin’s head was resting on my lap!

I immediately went as still as a rabbit when it knows you’re there. I didn’t know what to do so I just stared at Taemin, as embarrassed as I am to admit it. It wasn’t like it hurt my eyes to do it. I found myself smiling with affection at his sleeping face. His usually pouty mouth was opened slightly to breath in and out. His eyes moved back and forth with what I assumed were dreams. He looked years younger than the freshman he was suppose to be.

I couldn’t help myself; I saw my hands as if on their own accord, reaching to brush an errant curl off of Taemin’s face. That was what woke him up. He opened his eyes slowly and when his mind took in the information that he was waking up to me, I guess, he smiled and slightly brought out his dimples. Why must they be my weakness?!

“Why are you sleeping on me?” I asked with more sulkiness that I wanted to lead on. My anger was getting the better of me.

“You looked so peaceful; I wanted to take a nap too.”

“On me?” I’m sorry if I sounded skeptical.

“I laid on your lap to watch you while slept and I guess I fell asleep too.”

“Watch me sleep, huh?” I raised one eyebrow, to show him I still didn’t believe what he was saying.

Taemin sat up and started to sleepily rub his eye. Stop being cute for five seconds and answer me truthfully! “I’ve never seen you look so calm, as if nothing was bothering you.”

“I was asleep; of course nothing was bothering me.” Now he was making me sarcastic too.

Taemin instantly changed the subject. “When did you get so pretty?” Taemin’s face was suddenly way too close to mine for comfort. Or at least my comfort; clearly he was comfortable with being that close.

“Oh, give it up Taemin. You no longer need to flatter me to get something. Why’d you come here in the first place? Is there a girl you need me to talk to?” Could I finally get to the kernel of truth here?

The thing is, Taemin suddenly got very seriously. He’s the type of guy that shrugs things off with a smile or a joke. He’s never sad or angry. To see him serious, well, I knew something had to be up. His lips got pursed like he was thinking hard. “I genuinely meant that. You are really pretty. Why would I look at another girl?”

That was the last straw for me, unfortunately. “Taemin! You need to get over this infatuation with Iza and I. Go date a girl your own age. I saw plenty of cute freshmen at the opening ceremony.”

Finally, Taemin reacted the way he was suppose to. He smiled at me, like he didn’t have a care in the world and gave in. “Okay Hollis. And when no girl measures up to you, I’ll be back.”

“Uh huh,” I replied and waved my hand like I was waving that notion away. We’ll see about that.

ZZZZZZ

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I found this really adorable café one night, on the way back from a gig one of the guys from school played at. I was slightly buzzed, but I managed to memorize where it was and lead Iza to it the next day after school. We had our books from school, so we intended to study. However, like we always ended up doing, we started to chat and then gossip and suddenly the books were closed and we were well off the subject of calculus.

We were about to order another order of hot chocolates when we saw Taemin pass by with a bunch of his high school guy friends. I tried to tell Iza not to get his attention, but that girl loves her little brother, so she waved to him. Taemin’s face split into a smile and we saw him turn to his friends. An argument began, we couldn’t hear anything, but it looked like the guys were asking Taemin to stay with him but he just shook his head to them, with that small gentle smile.  The guys shuffled off in despair and it made me laugh that they were so lost without their leader.

Taemin opened the café’s door and the bell at the top twinkled it’s welcome to him. Iza and I were sitting across from each other in a booth by the window, so Taemin slipped into the seat beside Iza, to my relief. I was afraid he was going to sling his arm around me and peck me on the cheek again. Wait, was I actually expecting it this time?

Taemin opened up a menu to see what he wanted to order and Iza snuggled up beside him to point out the yummy cakes they offered too. I watched the two, their heads close together, bond as only brother and sister can. Iza softly asked how Taemin’s day was and Taemin offered up some funny moments that happened in class, in which Iza laughed at the correct moments.  Even as we ordered and got our drinks, Iza made sure Taemin didn’t drink his until she stuck her finger in it and deemed it cool enough for him to drink without burning himself. Maybe that was what Taemin’s problem was; Iza still acted protective over him. I understand he will always be her younger brother, but still. I don’t know. He didn’t look like a young boy with the group of friends he was with. Did Taemin have multiple-personality disorder?

When Iza was happy that Taemin was happy, she finally drank her hot chocolate. This café would put in crazy amounts of whip cream on the hot chocolate. Iza took a long gulp of her’s and came up with some whip cream on her nose. I almost spit out my drink, she looked so funny. It was even funnier because she didn’t even know it was on her nose. Then Iza began to giggle and I looked at her in confusion.

“Hollis, you’ve got whip cream on your nose!” she managed to get out between gasps of giggling.

“Don’t laugh!” I said, wiping at my nose. “You’ve got some on yours too.” Iza sobered up pretty quickly and wiped away her spot. We glared at each other and then laughed at our silliness. Taemin looked at Iza then at me and laughed at the two of us.

The whip cream gave me an idea, though. It was time to get back at the cheeky boy. I don’t know what his game plan was, but all this kissing, hand holding and pretending to be my boyfriend was making me flustered. And I, Hollis, do not like getting flustered. I plan, calculate and do. Nothing ruins plans more than emotions. So the whip cream was going to help me get back at Taemin.

I reached across the table and took Taemin’s hand into both of my own. It took all of my control over my body not to laugh at the sudden seriousness Taemin’s face became. Iza’s eyes were bulging out of her head. Did she think I was about to confess to him or something? I then moved Taemin’s hand towards my cup. I curled his fingers inwards except for his index finger and dipped it into the whip cream. I then moved his finger that was covered in whip cream towards my mouth. I really don’t think Iza’s mouth could have gotten any bigger; it looked like it was going to hit our table pretty soon. I didn’t feel comfortable doing this in front of her, but I felt like Taemin needed to be taught a lesson. I put his finger in my mouth, and cleaned it thoroughly with my tongue. When I put Taemin’s finger in my mouth, his eyes had widened in surprise like I had hoped. Now the next part was, he was suppose to blush like the young, inexperienced boy that he was, yank his hand back and stop bugging me. However, that’s not what happened. When I had finished cleaning his finger and released his hand, he just sat back and with that cheeky grin, asked me if it was any good.

“Ugh!” I yelled at him in frustration. I crossed my arms and looked out the window for the rest of the night. Iza laughed at the two of us and commented on how much love tension was in the air.

“Shut up. There’s nothing in the air. You’re just wishful thinking. You just want us to be real sisters. Not going to happen.” I pouted and this time both Iza and Taemin laughed at me. It wasn’t like me to sulk, but this was getting beyond ridiculous.

ZZZZZZ

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              Iza got involved with this classic literature group at school, which I didn’t begrudge her, I mean I had student council and had to ditch her a lot to do errands. This meant, however, that Taemin and I were left alone taking the bus home instead of the three musketeers. Taemin was still being silly. Sometimes we would be having an awesome conversation. Don’t get me wrong, Taemin was still very naïve and innocent, even in grade 9, but he was also extremely intelligent. His beautiful head wasn’t full of air, like other people I knew. We would have these philosophical conversations and then he would get this look in his eye and I knew he was thinking of something that would get him in trouble. We’d be sitting on this low brick wall that surrounded our school and he would suddenly glomp me, or steal a kiss on my cheek or forehead or even hug me super tightly. That slim body may deceive some people but he hide wiry muscles under that cardigan. No matter what, I never managed to fend off his advances. I would be so angry at him, but he would just laugh at me, like it was his favorite joke.

              So, one day that seemed like any other day, we were sitting on that brick wall, waiting for us bus to come. Taemin was telling me about how he planned on running for student council next year and all the events he wanted to plan and charities he wanted to organize. I stopped listening to him for a bit because there were a couple of girls talking about prom. I wanted to overhear them talk about who they planned on taking to prom, in case I had any competition. I had a couple of potential candidates, but I hadn’t narrowed down my selection yet. Taemin realized pretty quickly that I wasn’t paying attention to him, and looked in the direction of the girls. He must have heard what they were talking about. It was the only explanation for what came out next.

              “Hollis you have to go to prom with me.” He practically commanded me!

              “Wha-what?”

   “Promise me you’ll make me your prom date.”

I scoffed at him, I mean seriously? I planned on having a long-term boyfriend by then, preferably made before x-mas. The longer I could work on him, the better. Did Taemin think I wasn’t going to be able to get a date, and so he wanted to eliminate the embarrassment for me? I mean, that’s awfully thoughtful of him, but kind of insulting at the same time. I explained this to Taemin and it was his turn to roll his eyes at me. He patiently explained to me this as not the case.

“If you take me as your prom date I can protect you. You could get your heart broken or be taken advantage of! I’ve heard all kinds of horror stories and even…” Taemin bit his lip, as if trying to keep back some information. “Well you don’t need to know what I’ve heard, but you have to promise!”

If I thought that Taemin’s puppy dog look was lethal, I was wrong. This time, it seemed like he was really putting his all into it. I could feel the sadness just seeping from his eyes; he was getting a little teary-eyed. The final touch was the pout: it quivered just slightly, as if at any moment he was going to ball his eyes out. I tried to hold in my laughter, but couldn’t! It poured from my lips like water breaking from a dam. Taemin held his look for about 2 seconds and they he broke into laughter with me.

My mind made itself up in those couple of minutes that we laughed. If it meant so much to him, I would make a promise. I mean, I could control Taemin as much as I could control any new boyfriend. And I had to admit, it wasn’t like I was settling. Taemin made some pretty sweet arm candy. I think I melted a little bit at the thought of him in a tux.

“Okay, okay!” I conceded after our laughter died down.

“What? Really? YES!!!” screamed Taemin, much to my mortification. He was jumping up and down and yelling for the entire world to hear that he was going to prom with Hollis Kenzie. I stood up to get Taemin to calm down, instead I got caught up in the insanity, literally. Taemin wrapped his arms around me and jumped up and down with me. His happiness was really infectious, what can I say. When Taemin’s energy finally wore out, he stopped jumping and we were both out of breath.

We suddenly became very aware of how close we were. Both of our chests heaved as they attempted to regain the air we had expended jumping up and down but our eyes were locked onto each other. I felt almost smothered by the unexplained tension in the air, so I pushed Taemin away. Not a rough shove, but a push on the chest to make him understand he was in my personal space.

Like Taemin, he simply scratched the back of his head and sent me the cheekiest smile to date. There seemed to be a message in this one though: like he knew something and I didn’t, but he was okay waiting for me to figure it out, because damn was it something to know.

ZZZZZZ

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