the little things

“Are you alright?”

Siwon smiles, because that is what he does, even in front of the person he loves. But then Kyuhyun reaches down, brushing his bangs away from his eyes, expression tight with concern, and Siwon suddenly wants to cry.

“I’m just tired,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to base of Kyuhyun’s palm. They can afford this, probably, with the entire first-class cabin filled with friends, but no more than this.

“I wish,” Kyuhyun begins, then stops. His fingers tremble slightly as they trace a path back to the crest of Siwon’s forehead. “You still have a fever.”

For the some-hundredth time that day, Siwon stills the impulse to pull his lover into his arms and just hold him close—because the thing a man wants the most is nearly always the thing that destroys him. And so he learns to live with denial, day after day, wandering in every imaginable spectrum of what-if's, and instead of I love you, he says, “I’ve taken something, don’t worry.”

Kyuhyun’s lips thin into an expressionless line. Then his hand falls away, and Siwon experiences a moment of irrational panic. His heart falters. He cannot think. His reaction is purely guided by impulse when he catches the falling hand, fingers clinging to the circle of Kyuhyun’s wrist.

“I love you,” he whispers, because he’s scared, but the list of things they must deny themselves is ever-growing and never-ending—and as long as they still want to fly, to soar even higher, then this is how it’s going to be.

Except it’s worth every risk to see the look in Kyuhyun’s face now, as the words sink in, unmistakable, between them.

“I know.” His smile is faint, but the pressure of his thumb on the centre of Siwon’s palm is gentle enough to substitute for a kiss. “If you need anything, I’m just across the alley, alright?”

Siwon nods. For it’s the little things that matter when the biggest part of your life stands in the way to your happiness. Little things like touches stolen, gazes locked, smiles mirrored--and maybe also something like opening your eyes between one fitful doze and another and finding a paper napkin tucked between the fold of your arms, with the words I love you too scribbled across the white space.

He smiles, heart warming as his fingers trace the hastily scrawled verb. And when he catches Kyuhyun's gaze, he brings the napkin to his lips and kisses the words.

Because in the end, it’s the little things that make life more bearable.

END

A/N: Spawned by Siwon's photos at ICN before SMTOWNINA. Idk how it ended up this fluffy ;;