Chapter 9

The Confession He Got (But Not the One He Wanted)

”I want you to make out with Sungjong”

Woohyun's words were received with loud whoops from Hoya and Dongwoo, warning looks from Sunggyu and immeasurable embarrasement from Sungyeol and Sungjong, who were doing their worst to hide it.

”Who would want to see that kind of a thing?!” Sungyeol asked, incredulous. ”I would” Woohyun said shamelessly. Sungyeol seemed to lose his head; ”That's because you're a complete !”

The remark caused everyone else to fall into a tense silence, but earned nothing but a mildly amused raised eyebrow from Woohyun when he responded tersely; ”Do it or take the punishment”. Sungyeol cast a quick look towards Sungjong and seemed to be thinking very hard. ”I-”

Woohyun didn't let the actor stutter on; ”Are you a man or a mouse?” The rest of the company followed the echange of words closely. The mood inside the hotel room turned rather ominous as Woohyun and Sungyeol measured eachother.

”I'll take the punishment” Sungyeol said and Sungjong's eyes darted to the mattress he was sitting on, a thick lump clogging his throat.

It's nothing. You knew what he's like, he told himself.

That's when Hoya spoke up; ”Well if he won't do it I sure will”, he said and leaned over to Sungjong's side of the circle. Looking briefly into the boy's eyes to make sure that he knew what was coming, Hoya closed the distance with a steady hand behind Sungjong's neck, pulling him into a kiss. For a moment Sungjong froze, unable to shake of the fact that this was his childhood-friend kissing him. Then a darker intention set in; a kind of want to say ”this is what you could have had” to Sungyeol, and Sungjong returned the kiss vehemently. When they parted Sungjong made a point to look as confidently as he could back at the actor, who had forgotten to close his mouth.

”Okay, now that that's done, Sungyeol! Your punishment!” Woohyun stopped the awed silence.

During the commotion that arose after the veil of silence was lifted Sungyeol saw from the corner of his eye a long look shared between Hoya and Sungjong and felt a sort of nauseousnes boiling inside his stomach.

In truth the look was one of thankfullnes; Sungjong knew that Hoya had done what he'd done to let him keep his sense of pride.

* * *

Woohyun cornered Sungyeol about the events a little later in the evening. ”If you wanted a chance to show him how you feel, that was it back there, and I think he got the message”, he said. Woohyun had pondered seriously whether he'd even have this lecture because, to be honest, even he was beginning to doubt his masterplan. Sungyeol was too thick for his own good.

”I have no idea what you're talking about” Sungyeol said, proving Woohyun's point expertly. ”Suit yourself. There are others for the taking. Being a complete it might just be me” Woohyun said and trodded off. He had always had an eye for revenge; immediately the image of Sungjong in the dancer's arms appeared into Sungyeol's brain and stayed there for days to come.

* * *

It was 3 am when Sungjong finally got back home. He opened the door with his headphones still on, and over the music he couldn't hear the quiet shuffling sound of someone else moving in the dark. Suddenly he could feel his hand yanked to the side, however. Some kind of panicked sound must have escaped his lips but he couldn't hear it through the music.

Sungjong felt his back hitting the wall, his breath escaping as someone pushed him against it. There was a sharp pain on his lower lip where teeth clashed against it when he struggled. The most primitive of senses took over Sungjong as he puched with all his strength at the offendor, yanking of his headphones in the process.

He stopped. The startled yelp that had escaped from the attacker's mouth was deffinitely familiar. Sungjong fumbled around in the dark corridor for the light switch.

”Myungsoo!” he breathed when he saw his roommate curled up against the wall, holding his jaw that had met with Sungjong's now aching fist.

Sungjong's heart was still pumping adrelane around his body and he exploded at the man; ”For 's sake, I thought you were a burgler,a or something!” Myungsoo didn't respond. He kept his head bowed and Sungjong felt his wrath draining out to be replaced with absolute exhaustion. He slided against the wall to sit on the opposite side of the narrow hallway from Myungsoo.

Minutes passed in silence and Sungjong tried to conjure up something to say. When he finally huffed and began; ”Look, I think we need to talk” Myungsoo immediately responded with; ”I wrote you a song”. His voice sounded so weak that Sungjong couldn't bring himself to say anything. ”Can I play it for you?” Myungsoo asked and Sungjong nodded. After realising that Myungsoo still hadn't looked at him he uttered; ”Okay”.

Myungsoo got up and went to his room, still completely avoiding Sungjong. Sungjong followed him but halted in the doorway, watching as Myungsoo picked up his guitar and sat on the bed. ”Sit down?” Myungsoo asked and his covardly avoiding was starting to annoy Sungjong a little. He took the few hesistant steps to the only seat in the room; Myungsoo's bed.

The only light in the room was the yellowish glaze of the lamp on the table. But then again Myungsoo didn't need to see to play; the notes flowed from his heart (or maybe muscle memory), and his eyes were closed. He looks so serene like this, like an icon, Sungjong thought. The melody was familiar to him; it's the one Myungsoo had played behind closed doors for a long time already. But now it was accompanied by Myungsoo's soft lyrics of a delicate confession, of kindness Sungjong hadn't realized the man held hidden inside.

Sungjong's chest was suddenly too tight to keep his heart in when Myungsoo's voice faltered. Why couldn't he choose this, this unconditional caring? How much easier it would be than chasing something that just wasn't there...

Myungsoo put his guitar away, finally turning to face Sungjong. ”You know how I feel” he said and now it was Sungjong's turn to face away. He could feel Myungsoo's fingers softly wrapping around his own, his thumb experimentally caressing the sensitive skin on the back of Sungjong's hand. ”You know I would never hurt you” Myungsoo almost whispered.

But you already have! A dozen times and a dozen times over...Sungjong thought.

”All I'm asking for is one chance. I've lived a lie for so many years yet I am finally honest with myself and it's all because of you.”, Myungsoo said bravely.

Sungjong turned around. Myungsoo was close, so close already. He touched his forehead against Sungjong's. When Sungjong didn't pull away Myungsoo wrapped his arm behind the boy's back gently, his nose tracing the outline of his face.

How could he pull away from this? It was wrong, must have been wrong, but Sungjong couldn't remember the last tim he'd been held like this. The thing with Hoya had been something of entirely different caliber; a power game. This was gentle beyon measure. Myungsoo's lips tasted his brow, breathed in his cheek, tried at his swollen lower lip. All Sungjong could do was stay still with his eyes closed, his hand inadvertly grasping at Myungsoo's sleeve, and let it happen.

”I don't even know what you are... You can't be human. You must be a spirit, an angel” Myungsoo whispered as his fingers treaded through Sungjong's hair and black eyes marveled at Sungjong's face. Maybe it was the eyecontact when Sungjong's eyelids fluttered half open, but he was waken from his blissful slumber and suddenly his cosciense growed too heavy to bear. He pulled away softly, getting up in the same, seamless movement.

”I'm so sorry. I have to go” Sungjong said, eyes conveying more than just the words. I can't be yours, they said.

Myungsoo's eyes widened as if he'd been hit again. He hadn't let go of Sungjong's hand. ”No, don't” he pleaded and Sungjong realised how wrong he'd been to let Myungsoo get so close. ”I really should go now. Please just forget this.” Sungjong said and helped the hand loose with his other one.

Without looking back, Sungjong hurried out of the room and the appartment with nothing but the clothes on his back and the cellphone in his pocket.

”I'm coming over” he said the moment Sunggyu answered his call. ”What, at this hour? Is everything alright?” his uncle asked, sounding a little preoccupied. Sungjong figured that the man must have just woken up. That is, until he heard a muffled ”Stop it!” from the other end.

”Is someone over there?” Sungjong asked. ”No, it's the TV. Why can't you go home?” Sunggyu diverted. ”Can I just come over first?” Sungjong asked, unwilling to talk about everything over the phone. He wasn't even sure he wanted to talk at all. ”Yeah, alright” Sunggyu said and Sungjong hung up.

He stopped marching onward, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to even his breathing. He didn't know who he was angry at the most; Myungsoo, Sungyeol or maybe just himself. But suddenly that furor flowed over and seized all control. He hurled the only thing he had in his hands in the ground; his pikatchu-covered iPhone.

In the quiet night the sound of breaking class sounded strangely amplified and final.

* * *

”You have to go” Sunggyu said, already pushing Woohyun out of the bed. ”You can't seriously send me off in the middle of the night, that's cold” Woohyun complained, doing his very best to resist Sunggyu's pushing.

”I've told you; he wouldn't think any different of you if he knew” Woohyun tried; ”This is probably about Sungyeol anyway”. Sunggyu glared at him; ”Yeah, and I'm still mad about that”.”And I was just in the process of making it up to you. I'm pretty sure he has already guessed what's between us. We're not exactly covert. And I don't think he has any business critisizing us, you know, considering”, Woohyun said sensibly.

Sunggyu let out a deep sigh. ”I don't know why I'm doing this again... Okay, stay”, he said and Woohyun tried not to look too pleased. ”But you need to act like an adult, he's upset” Sunggyu warned. ”Ah, you hurt me; I'm not a sociopath” Woohyun reproved with a smirk.