Chapter 10

And That Is Where It Ended

After Sungyeol left from a practise session Woohyun caught up with him in a hallway. ”Are you okay?” he asked, fitting his steps to Sungyeol's. ”Why do you ask?” the taller man threw back. He had learned the hard way to be cautious of Woohyun's ”concern”. ”I just figured you were quite close to Sungjong, that's all” Woohyun shrugged. Sungyeol could feel his heart racing at the mere mention of the name. And here he'd told himself to forget all about it.

”Why, is he alright?” Sungyeol tried to keep his voice only mildly symphatetic when in reality he felt like grabbing Woohyun's collar, maybe throwing him against a wall to make a point. ”You haven't heard?” Woohyun kept his worried expression that Sungyeol knew instantly was only acting. By the way the both of them were playing their roles it was as if the practise session hadn't ended at all.

”Heard what?” Sungyeol stopped walking, suddenly annoyed with the game. ”Sungjong's leaving for Japan with Hoya and Dongwoo” Woohyun said matter-of-factly and Sungyeol's face dropped. ”Odd that he didn't even tell you. I guess you weren't that close, after all”, Woohyun twisted the dagger that seemed to have settled inside Sungyeol's stomach at the word ”Japan”.

”And their plane leaves today of all days. Around 7 p.m from the Incheon Airport if my memory serves me right”, Woohyun said, but only after inspecting his fingernails thoroughly as Sungyeol stood there, writhing. ”Why are you telling me this? Are you trying to manipulate me again? That didn't work out so well last time. He hates me!” Sungyeol said angrily. They hadn't talked after the incident at the hotel. He was sorry for that, but what was done was done.

”He doesn't hate you! Pities you, sure. Maybe feels like he's been betrayed, but I'm certain it's nothing that wouldn't pass if you just apologized. What matters is this; do you really want to see Sungjong leave his family, his life, because of you?” Woohyun said sternly. Either he had upgraded his acting skills or he was actually being serious about something.

”He isn't leaving because of me, don't talk rubbish”, Sungyeol said. ”You should have heard him speak of you. Sunggyu says he's never seen Sungjong as serious about anyone. He thinks the world of you but feels like you've made a fool of him”, Woohyun explained; ”And now he thinks it best to put as much distance between you and him as he can. So that he wouldn't have to worry about you anymore”.

Sungyeol could sympathise with that; hadn't he been doing the exact same thing? ”Aish”, he yelled suddenly; ”Why does it have to be so complicated? It's all your fault!” Then words, insecure words that were supposed to belong only to his subconscience, slipped out; ”How can I... like him... I mean; he's a man. A man like, like my dad for crying out loud!” Sungyeol's face was red now, his eyes downcast in embarrasement when he went on; ”But I don't want him to leave because of me.” Inside his mind he continued; I'll go crazy if I don't see him one last time; even not thinking about him feels too damn painful!

Woohyun smiled; ”There you have it. Why don't you tell him that?”

That was when Sungyeol realized the time and a sort of panick kicked in; ”But how? My driver's not here and the busses wouldn't make it. Do you have a car?” Sungyeol said this all very fast in one breath. ”Why don't you take a cab” Woohyun asked. ”I don't take cabs.” Sungyeol frowned. ”You can't be that cheap. It's not like you can't afford it” Woohyun scoffed. ”You don't understand; I never take cabs”. ”Too bad. You're going to miss him, then. The boarding will start in half an hour.” Woohyun shrugged again, turning to walk away.

Sungyeol ran his fingers over his scalp. ”Help me?” he called after Woohyun's back. ”Do I look like I carry vehicles up my sleeves?” the singer turned actor answered snarkily and didn't even bother to look back. Sungyeol checked the time again. He was a man of action, and now that he had arrived to a decicion somehow, his mind was set only in finding the means to achieve his goal. Ten minutes later he was sitting uncomfortably in the back of a taxicab.

Sungyeol flinched at every turn and tried to sit so that he had minimum contact with the vehicle, checking the time so often it was beginning to seem like a nervous tick. The driver rolled his eyes as if to say that this wasn't the first junkie to take his cab.

Sungyeol dashed out of the car and into the airport. Suddenly he was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people around him. How could he ever hope to find one man in this chaos? Then the goal-oriented part of Sungyeol's brain took over again and after a while he had managed to pick the right flight to Tokyo from the timetable and followed the signals to the correct terminal, hoping against hope that they hadn't gotten through the check-in yet.

”Don't leave to Japan” Sungyeol blurted out, grabbing Sungjong's shoulder and turning him around before the boy had even had the chance to properly recognize him. When he did, Sungjong's mouth jammed halfway open as if he was seeing ghosts.

Suddenly the weight of the situation dawned on Sungyeol. He blushed vigorously under his sunglasses and quickly let go of Sungjong's hand. But his determination didn't waver (unlike his voice) when he continued, almost accusingly; ”I mean... Everyone would miss you if you go; your family, Myungsoo...” his voice trailed of.

Sungjong had snapped his mouth shut into a tight line at the mention of his roommate, and he shook his head a little. ”I would miss you” Sungyeol huffed out like confessing to a crime. Sungjong stopped to look at him, really look at him from the shaking hands to eyes obviously avoiding his even through the sunglasses.

”We'll cause a scene” Sungjong hissed, took Sungyeol's hand in a firm grip and dragged him to a more secluded spot. A wall-high window on their side opened to the greyskied planelanding site like a screen showing the dullest movie ever made. Neither of them noticed.

Sungyeol took of his sunglasses and fiddled with them nervously, Sungjong's eyes urged him to go on.

Ah, I see. This is the feeling director Soi was talking about. I should remember it for the future... Sungyeol thought absentmindedly. He could swear that every breath of air felt like a solid lump, sticking inside his throat.

Sungjong's eyebrows twitched, like he was trying to understand the situation. Then he seemed to decide that Sungyeol had lost his ability to speak for good. ”If I begin. I'm not exactly sure what you are doing here. Until now you have given me rope and taken it back so many times that I'm not sure I have any interest in starting anything with you anymore. I mean... I have enough to worry about in my own coming out without having to worry about someone so far in the closet they've probably reached Narnia!” Sungjong huffed out, the last words panicked as much as they were angry.

From the shocked look in Sungjong's eyes Sungyeol deducted that he had never told anyone before. His hands seemed to move on their own, grabbing the startled boy's shoulders tightly. His mouth opened and closed a few times before the words came out; ”I don't know about Narnia or whatever. All I know is that you are one of the best people I know and every moment you're not there I wish you were. I keep thinking about all the fun we've had, about your smile, your words... If you won't see me anymore, I won't forgive myself!”

A single tear fell down Sungjong's cheek, and when the floodgates had opened there was no end to his weeping. Sungyeol pulled him in a tight embrace and said softly; ”It's okay, just let it out. No one will think any less of you”. He felt Sungjong's hands grasping at the back of his shirt as he sniffled against Sungyeol's shoulder. Sungyeol couldn't help the warm feeling falling down his stomach to the tips of his toes. Without really thinking too deeply about it, he kissed Sungjong's hair. Sungjong froze, let out a deep, shaky breath and pulled loose.

They stared at eachother in the cold light, Sungjong's eyelashes glued together and face glistening with tears, Sungyeol's complexion a patchwork of red and white. As if in a trance, Sungyeol leaned in. Sungjong's eyelids slid shut...

And their lips touched. It was supposed to be a soft peck, but once the biggest of borders had been crossed, there was no holding back anymore. Sungjong's hand found it's way to Sungyeol's hair, fingers curling in the back of his neck. Sungyeol pulled the other boy closer. So close, that Sungjong had to rearrange his feet not to lose his balance. There was no airport around them, only the embrace, only the effort to predict what the other one wanted. It was intimate, better than either of them had ever expected. It was also absurdly public, any minute a reporter or a fan could have walked in on them, yet that only added to their passion. Soon it was all too much and Sungjong hid his head against Sungyeol's shoulder, trying to catch his breath. He dared not open his eyes for the fear of the moment disappearing.

”I think I have a huge crush on you”, Sungyeol said finally and Sungjong lifted his head, looking back with a little chuckle, eyes glistening. It was not a mocking little laugh, more like marveling. As the worst of the tension lifted Sungyeol felt laughter bubbling out of himself as well.

”So, what do you think?” Sungyeol asked, serious again. ”I'll think about it”, Sungjong smiled deviously. ”You'll think about it?” Sungyeol exclaimed with a grin, causing Sungjong to rub his tearstained face as he smiled back apparaisingly and repeated; ”I'll think about it”. Then he proceeded to take Sungyeol's hand and give him one more lingering kiss that left Sungyeol wordless.

”Sungjong! There you are!” Hoya yelled. He was literally dragging along a pink-haired man who was doing his best to hinder his going. When Dongwoo realised that Sungjong had turned to watch, he grinned widely and gave a not-so-covert thumbs up.

”We have to go” Hoya said, after giving Sungyeol a long look. ”Sorry man, can't miss the plane”, Dongwoo said. ”Yeah, of course” Sungjong said as Sungyeol butted into the conversation; ”Are you still going?” Sungjong turned back to him and smiled; ”Hey, don't worry about it. I'm not going anywhere. Can I just take a minute to talk to them?” Sungyeol nodded obediently, trying in vain to hide his embarrasement behind his sunglasses; ”I'll go buy some drinks”.

Dongwoo and Hoya stared after the actor with unbelieving eyes; ”What was he talking about, Sungjong?”, Dongwoo asked. Sungjong laughed; ”Apparently he thought I was leaving with you to Japan.” Hoya looked contemt; ”Idiot”. ”Watch it now, that could be his idiot”, Dongwoo said, causing Sungjong to give his shoulder a not-so-gentle slap.

Then they hugged goodbye. ”If the idiot gives you trouble just one word and I'll be back for a knuckle sandwich” Hoya said and Sungjong laughed through the tears that were falling against his permission again. Hoya wiped them of gently, smiling as warmly as a big brother ever could ”Remember, Japan's not that far away”. After hugging Dongwoo one last time Sungjong waved his hyungs goodbye. When they disappeared behind a corner Sungjong felt abandoned, like he was at a pier watching the ships sail beyond the horizon. Then, from the corner of his eye, he saw the tall form of Sungyeol settle beside him. He had been waiting further away to give them some privacy, but his silly face looked worried now. A smile spread over Sungjong's tearstains, uninvited yet unstoppable.

Sungjong turned to face Sungyeol and reached to caress the sandy locks touching his long neck. With a halfway glance to make sure no one was spying on them, Sungjong rose on his toes and pecked a soft kiss on Sungyeol's lips.

Like a ballet dancer he slowly descended back to his heels, hand sliding to his own side. A confused smile made it's way slowly to Sungyeol's face and Sungjong couldn't hold out a chuckle. ”Are you going to look that dazed every time?”, he teased. Their hands had somehow found eachother. Sungyeol lifted Sungjong's left arm and used the back of his hand to wipe away the last of the drying tears on the boy's cheek. He seemed to be at peace for now.

Then Sungyeol seemed to remember something; ”Oh, I almost forgot! Isn't your luggage in the plane already?” Sungjong didn't feel like offending the actor now, so he shrugged; ”They'll just have to send it back”. ”Oh, okay... And your ticket! I'll pay for it”, Sungyeol said responsibly. ”It's alright, I'll get a refund or something”, Sungjong said, but Sungyeol was having none of it; ”I don't think it works like that, I know beacause sometimes... What?”, Sungyeol stopped after seeing Sungjong's amused smile.

His head was tilted a little to the side and Sungyeol was suddenly reminded again of the time he'd first seen that beautiful face. Through all those people rushing back and forth in the busy airport, over all the pretty young girls swarming around him, this person had captured his world with only a look.

Sungjong had decided that it was better to change the subject; ”Now that you robbed me of my brilliant future as a model, you have to keep me entertained. You could start by telling me a story about cabs”.

* * *

In the end Sungjong didn't pursue a career as a model; he lived happily as a humanitarian-worker. Silently everyone else agreed that it was better to keep Sungjong hidden from the world. And what a scandal their public relationship would have made!

Myungsoo did become an actor, however, much in the same fashion as Sungjong had almost ended up in the busines. When he came to the set to keep company for Sungyeol he was cast on the spot. Woohyun and Sunggyu's co-written album made it to the charts in five countries. The pair stayed together even if Woohyun became completely intolerable after his masterplan succeeded; in his own words he had learned to never doubt himself.

Back in Japan Dongwoo started a new trend of bubblegum hair to Hoya's continuing annoyance.

Sungyeol didn't stay shy. Before long Sungjong had to shake him of to get something done and remind him to act up in public places. After Sungyeol had given Myungsoo quite a few of his favourite videogames he finally forgave him, after which they lived in a strange balance. And though his love for Sungjong never completely vanished, one day Myungsoo found a whole new thing to obsess over. By a chance encounter even far more surprising than the one told in this story, he met you.

But that's a story for another time.