My gaze alternately shifted between the wall clock and my mobile phone, feeling myself turn numb as every second passed. Lestat walked up to me---his whiskers and fur showed that he'd been sleeping on top of the fridge again---and stared at me with his green eyes.

 

He's late...

 

"I know... but he's coming...I'm sure." Call me crazy but I've been enjoying myself lately by talking to the only creature that i think is the smartest in the world...That's right ers...i talk to my cat. And he answers back.

 

What if he doesn't show up?

 

"No way...he will." I scrolled through my phone's inbox the hundredth time that day, making sure the message Shin Woo sent last night was there and that i didn't just imagine it. It was there. He said he's coming over----after more than a year since B1A4's debut. More than a year of not even letting me know if he's still on Earth and haven't moved to Mars yet. 5 pm. Sharp.

 

What if he doesn't show up?

 

"You know the deal." If he comes, I'm gonna 'fess up. I'll tell him i like him. Since the day i pounded on his apartment door for the first time and asked him to lower his stereo down a bit.

 

Since the night of my band's last performance. When he sat beside me on the park bench as I let out those tears I held back for hours in front of my members...

 

...when he started doing an impromptu performance of 2ne1's I Don't Care just to make me stop crying.

 

guess i really have a thing for lunatics.

 

I'll tell him how much I miss him.

 

 

When he told me that he'll be debuting, I knew he'll be going away.

 

 

I just hoped he won't go somewhere too far for me to reach.

 

 

If he doesn't show up, however, I'm giving up on him.It hurts really, really bad but I knew that sooner or later, I won't have any more choice. Not with him oblivious to how I feel. 

 

 

Lestat gave me another stare and move back to his throne above the fridge. I waited for another hour.

 

 

and another...

 

 

and another....

 

 

and another....

 

 

before i knew it, it was already 11 pm.

 

 

I sniffed back a tear.

 

 

He didn't come....

 

"I know." I checked my phone for every hour that passed. No Message.

 

 

.

 

 

You know the deal.

 

"yeah..." I moved up to my room and got ready to sleep.

 

 

Awesome. I lived through 4 years trying to figure out how to tell him. Everything went to waste.

 

 

Let's Fly, they say. Well they definitely did. And Shin Woo's with them...out of my reach.

 

 

I watched Lestat through the dark as he placed himself by the window, his gaze flew somewhere far. 

 

 

I closed my eyes and drifted to a dreamless slumber.

 

 

It hurts...It freakin' hurts.