I giggled and played with my newly buffed nails as Jiyong was arguing with Seungri over the phone to see who got to talk to me. I looked up at the time and sighed, 4:28 pm. Jiyong wouldn't be home until seven. After the rukus on the other end of the line stopped, I smiled once I heard my boyfriend's soft voice, "Sorry about Seungri. He's just an idiot." Oh, I knew that so well. I softly grinned as I saw a picture of Jiyong and I on our first anniversary on the coffee table, "It's okay Jiyong. You should get back to work since we've been on the phone for a while." I heard him slightly chuckle, "Alright. I'm hanging up." I bit my lip, trying to stop the stupid smile on my face to grow even bigger, "Okay oppa," I nervously continued, "I-I love you." The other line went dead and I thought he already hung up.

Then, his voice finally appeared, but disappointed me, "Goodbye Kalin."

I sighed as the beep came, indicating he had hung up. I slumped back onto the couch and stared up at the roof I shared with the man I loved so helplessly. He used to be the one to say 'I love you' first. He used to be the one to start the 'No, you hang up first' or 'I love you more' couple games. He used to be the one who showed his affection, not caring about what other people thought. But why did he change so drastically these past two months? Now I started saying 'I love you' but he would never say it back. Whatever happened to calling me jagiya? What had I done wrong? I already knew he stopped loving me, but chose not to believe it. I saw all the signs, they were so obvious. I closed my eyes, hoping to stop the thinking. I needed an escape from this hurt.

Without a second thought I stood up and quickly got dressed for the cold weather. I zipped up my beige, fuzzy winter jacket, navy jeans, mid-shin high boots and a grey scarf. I grabbed my Polaroid camera and rushed out the door which locked by itself once closed. I went down to elevator, out of the condominium and walked to the park across the street. I stuffed both hands in my pockets and nuzzled my face into the scarf. I didn't like wearing gloves because it would cover up the couple ring Jiyong gave me. I took my time, strolling through the snow covered park. The sounds of snow crunching under my feet relaxed me and I looked around for any kind of beautiful scenery. Photography was my major; though many questioned me, I wanted to take pictures for magazines, models, and other things. It was my passion.

I snapped a photo of the sun shining through a few trees, making the snow seem to sparkle. I took a photo of a stray cat, hiding in a box beside a bench. I rushed to a nearby ddukbokki stand, asking for some warm water and set it down for the cat. My smile grew as I passed the bench Jiyong and I always sat on during our strolls, this area of the park was always empty because it was hard to find the pathway. It was one of those benches on a hill that looked over a city or a few buildings. As I kept on walking through the park, I found myself on a familiar street, but I couldn't remember what was so familiar about it.

I walked down the sidewalk, staring at the buildings to see if there was anything photo worthy. My feet came to a stop as if I reached my destination and I quickly looked around the area. This place...where was I? I pulled out my Polaroid and looked through it to see if anything was eye catching, then I stopped. A couple was cutely flirting to the side of a building and I couldn't help but think if Jiyong. I moved to the side a bit, snapping a picture secretly then hiding behind another apartment building so I wouldn't look creepy. I pulled out the picture and waved it in the air, waiting for the picture to clear up. I sighed and kept my hands to my side, choosing to patiently wait for the picture. My mind was filled of thoughts and memories I had with Jiyong. He really was the romantic one of BIGBANG. I looked at the picture and my heart stopped.

That blonde hair...it couldn't be.

I popped my head to the side to take a look at the couple like a spy. I squinted my eyes and it was like I couldn't feel my heart anymore. My bestfriend, Lina, was leaning against a building while staring lovingly at the man in front of her. My man. Jiyong's forehead was rested on hers as one of his hands grazed over her cheek lovingly. I shook my head and looked back at the picture. Jiyong's smile. It was a smile I could never get out if him. One I never saw myself, since the day he confessed to me, until today. It was a smile that held every meaning behind love. Care, compassion, trust, longing, completeness, a hint of lust, and complete happiness. I watched the couple once again. What hurt the most was that Lina was supposed to be my bestfriend; Jiyong was supposed to be my boyfriend. My eyes widened as he slowly leaned in, his eyelids closing. Lina closed her eyes as well, puckering up for the loving kiss they were about to share. Right before their lips connected I my heel and walked away. I didn't want to see this.

Was this the reason behind his change? No duh, Kalin. I sighed as hot tears seemed to freeze on my face. Pedestrians who witnessed my tears would've been wondering what happened. In no time I was at our condominium again, taking it all in. This would be the last time I would see this place. In a hurry I ran towards our room and grabbed my suitcases in the closet. I folded them neatly, knowing I had over four hours to pack until he got home. After finishing my packing, I set the luggage by the door and quickly took out a pen and paper.

Jiyong:
     I saw you today with Lina while I was out on a walk. Don't worry, I'm not mad. I'm happy. Maybe this time, you will love her as much as she loves you. I finally figured out why you showed me your cold side recently. Thank you for showing me what kind of guys I should avoid in the future; I really did have fun. Don't try to contact me, if you even care, I won't answer. Take care of her, okay? Love you.
                                                                                                                                                   -Kalin.

Though my letter seemed harsh, I didn't care. It's not like he would read it after the first line. He would just pounce on Lina and claim her as his. I folded the note in half, setting it on the coffee table with my couple ring on top. I looked around the room and smiled, then picked up my things and headed out. My heart no longer remained, but maybe someone out there would help me. I bowed to the front desk lady one last time I caught a taxi. The man tossed my things in the trunk and I slouched in my seat. I gave him the address of my brother's apartment and he started to drive. Though his apartment was in Seoul, it's not like I would bump into Jiyong every day, right?

As we drove out of the condo's front, we passed a white Bently which headed towards the parking lot. In that brief second we passed, I saw through the tinted windows. Lina was there in the passenger seat, playing with his soft locks of hair. Maybe today was the day he was going to introduce me to his new love. He was going home earlier than usual. I sighed and sank down in my seat, it was time to move on.

---

Its been one whole year. One year after I left Jiyong's apartment, one year after I saw him with my former bestfriend, Lina, and one year since he's ever heard from me. He was doing great with his album, I, myself, bought a copy. No, I did not still love him. I supported him as his fan. I know I should be mad at him for cheating, but...I wasn't. This way, both of us were happy; he had Lina and I felt...free and relaxed. I inhaled the scent of coffee once more and waved to my co-workers, "Bye everyone! I'm done for today!" They all waved to me and bid farewell as I walked out of the small café. This was my new life. Being a normal, 21 year old girl. I loved it. No more hiding from the press, no more waiting for my boyfriend to come home or show affection. I was free, absolutely free.

I stretched outside the café doors, a few bones cracking here and there. My true bestfriend, Park Haerin, linked arms with me and grinned, "Today, our shift felt short." I nodded as we walked across the parking lot, onto the sidewalk, "Isn't that good?" She shrugged and opened to answer, but suddenly a voice rang, "Kalin!" I turned around and saw the café owner jog towards us, "Hey Jae oppa." He smiled and ruffled my hair, "Done already?" I nodded and Haerin pushed his chest, "Are you trying to flirt with her?! Don't you know about her past?!" Haerin, Jae, my brother and parents were the only ones who knew about Jiyong and I. They took it all well, happy I was better without him. Jae flailed his arms around, "No! I was just asking! Sheesh!" I rolled my eyes and pulled Haerin back, "Enough umma, we do this every day." Haerin laughed and scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. I turned to Jae and smiled, "You needed me?" He glanced at Haerin and shook his head, "N-Nevermind. I'll tell you when we meet later today." I nodded and cheerfully waved at him as he walked back into the café.

Haerin and I slowly walked home when suddenly we heard ear piercing screams. A group of highschool girls were crowded around an area, gawking at something. We looked at each other and both knew we wanted to check out whatever was happening. We made our way over, squeezing through the crowd and finally came to the front. There was a bunch of equipment for photo shoots and flashes came every now and then. I went on my tippy toes, holding my hand above my eyebrows like an adventurer. I glanced at the Panda ring I recieved from Seungri and rolled my eyes, then refocused on whatever was happening. Haerin nudged me, "See anything?" I shook my head and she turned to a high school girl behind us, "Excuse me... What's going on?"

The girl squealed and jumped, "BIGBANG oppas are shooting for a fashion magazine right now!"

My eyes widened and I stared at Haerin. She immediately grabbed my arm, "Let's get out of here." I nodded and we quickly tried to pry through the crowd, but no results. We were stuck. The fangirls began to chant, "BIGBANG! BIGBANG!" repeatedly and I heard the photographer shout, "Break time!" I held my hair in fists as I was preparing to go mental. I blew on my cold hands as I watched the staff walk by in big groups; which only meant BIGBANG was going to follow. I was absolutely right. I saw Taeyang hop to the front of the group, conversing with Jiyong. Daesung and T.O.P were showing some ToDae love as Seungri was showing fan service. I bit my lip nervously and squeezed Haerin's hand, her mimicking my actions. As if the heavens didn't hear my prayers, Seungri and I made eye contact. I held my hand to my forehead and immediately shot it down hoping he didn't see the Panda ring. Seungri squinted his eyes as he spoke to Daesung and now T.O.P along with Daesung were staring at me with their eyes wide. They caught the attention of the two other remembers and pointed towards me. I turned to Haerin and we both tried to get through crowd which sadly didn't happen since the fans were too aggressive. I heard Seungri's obnoxiously loud voice come closer and began to panic. How could life get so bad so quickly?

Haerin finally found a crack throughout the crowd and was entering it, but then my wrist was grabbed and we were pulled back. My back landed on someone’s chest and a slight, ‘Oof’ escaped my mouth. I chewed on my bottom lip as someone turned me around and now I was face to face with Seungri’s wide eyes. He quickly pulled me into a tight hug and it hit me how much I had missed his embrace, “Kalin! I thought I would never see you again!” I breathed in his comforting scent but shook my head, this wasn’t right. I pushed him away and grabbed Haerin’s hand, “I’m sorry. I think you’ve made a mistake.” I gently tugged on Haerin’s hand, informing her I wanted to leave immediately. We took a step back but then Daesung held onto my free wrist, “How can we make a mistake in recognizing you?” I painfully smiled at them and escaped his grasp, “We should get going.” Immediately I walked away with Haerin, squeezing through the crowd as the sounds of their calls faded.

Once we were away from the site, back at the café, Haerin engulfed me in a hug, “Are you okay?” I wrapped my arms around her and smiled, “I’m fine. It’s just surprising to see them again, you know?” She nodded and pulled away, cupping my face, “You should go meet Jae for your little date.” She playfully winked at me and I pushed her away, “It’s not a date! It’s a…meeting.” Haerin always thought Jae had a little thing for me, but I never believed it. She sighed and we started to walk towards our meeting place, “Whatever you say.”

---

Jiyong POV

All of us sat down in the van, reheating our bodies before the next shoot. Seungri looked completely out of it and so I nudged him, “Yah. What’s wrong with you?” He looked at me with eyes full of confusion, “Hyung… It’s been a year since we’ve seen Kalin, but she acts like she doesn’t know us and you’re acting like nothing’s wrong?” Her name – how could it sound so beautiful, even now? I sat back in my seat and crossed my arms, warming my hands, “What? It’s just like passing your ex-girlfriend in halls when we were in high school.” Taeyang looked at me in disbelief, “Don’t you feel the least bit of guilt knowing you cheated on her?” Some kind of emotion hit my heart like a bullet, making it harder to breathe, but I was unsure of what it was. I shrugged, “She said I could be happy, and I am.” Daesung ruffled his hair from frustration and balled his hands into fists, “I thought you and Lina were fighting again.” I didn’t feel like talking about this anymore, so I yawned and stretched, “We’ll get over it like usual. No biggie.” Seunghyun looked at me in doubt and patted my leg, “We all know you’ve lost whatever you felt for her the moment you found Kalin’s note a year ago. Why not let her go already?” I pushed his hand off my leg and scoffed, “That’s not true.” I left the van in irritation and told my manager I would be taking a stroll for a while. He hesitantly nodded and handed me sunglasses, as if it would disguise me.

It’s true and you know it Jiyong. You don’t love Lina.

My subconscious haunted me for every step I took. I left the photo shoot site through an alley, hoping not to bump into any fans. I watched as the snow ever so gently hit the ground, the sun making it sparkle. Slowly, I dozed off into my thoughts as my feet took me to where ever my body wanted to go. My life was perfect. I had a great job, great friends, a gorgeous girlfriend…but why didn’t I feel complete? I unconsciously pulled out my wallet and opened it. I kept walking as I stared at the ring that was once on Kalin’s finger. I had kept it where everyone else put pictures in their wallet. At first, I had planned to break up with Kalin, ask for the ring back and hand it to Lina. But then when she left it with that damn note, I couldn’t bring myself to pass it to Lina, like my body absolutely disapproved what my brain said. I stuffed my wallet back into my back pocket and huffed. What was so great about Kalin that made me think about her every day? She was just a normal girl who managed to capture my feelings at one point in time. Now I had Lina, an extremely beautiful woman who managed to steal my feelings from Kalin’s grasp. So what if it was true that I was losing affection for Lina? She could easily steal it back and everything would be fine again.

I had to know everything would be okay with Lina. I instantly pulled out my phone and dialed the number I knew by heart. The sweet, melodic voice filled my ears and a smile grew on my face, “Hello? Jiyong oppa?” I bit my lip and kept my eyes on my feet as they sank into the snow, “Lina? I…I don’t want to fight anymore.” I heard her adorable giggle, “Me too oppa. I miss you.” I couldn’t help but laugh, “Let’s meet at our usual spot, yeah?” I noticed she hesitantly answered, “Now?” I felt my heart rate slowly raise at the thought of seeing her after a week, “Yeah. Unless you’re busy?” I clenched my eyes shut and prayed, please be free, please be free. “Alright oppa! I’ll see you in a few minutes!” My smile went from ear to ear and I chuckled, “See you soon, jagi.” Both of us hung up and I looked around, where was I? I smiled once I saw the park in front of me and laughed at how my body seemed to have already found its way here. Quickly, I strutted to the special bench I shared with Lina that overlooked some of the city.

Kalin POV

A shiver went up my spine and I tried to use friction to warm up my legs. Haerin had made me change into a pair of skinny jeans which she thought ‘complimented my model-like legs’. Truth be told, they were just a simple pair of navy skinny jeans that hugged my body almost perfectly. I played around with the zipper of my jacket as I waited for Jae to arrive. Haerin had made me come a few minutes before the actual meeting, just to look like I was interested and looked forward to what Jae and I were supposed to be doing. At first, I disapproved since the meeting spot was the bench Jiyong and I shared, but then she convinced me that Jiyong was too busy to even visit this place. She was right; every time I came here with her there was no sign of him. I started to play with my wavy hair Haerin had specially done for me, even my makeup. She was trying very hard to set me up with Jae.

I looked over the city and the memories of moments I had up here with Jiyong came back to me. As if it was my medicine, I immediately reached for my back pocket and pulled out the Polaroid I took of Lina and Jiyong on that day. I read the little memo I put under it out loud, “If he’s happy, you can be too. Kalin, Fighting!” I laughed at myself and put the picture back in my pocket, I was in high spirits. Jae, Haerin and my family were now my sources of happiness. My life seemed just right compared to before. Suddenly I felt two hands cover my eyes like the popular couple action and a familiar voice had a playful tone, “Guess who.” I laughed and pushed the hands down, “Hi Jae oppa.”

Jiyong POV

I climbed up the hill and smiled once I reached the top. The cold winter air blew through my hair and I smiled in content. This place was always the best. I took a few steps closer to the bench but froze once I saw a man and who I presumed was his girlfriend already near it. I thought this place was hard to find? Somehow, this scene in front of me felt weird so I hid behind a tree, just far enough to hear and see the couple perfectly. “Guess who.” The girl giggled, “Hi Jae oppa.” She got up and turned around, my eyes widening. That couldn’t be Kalin…right? I mean, the sun was making it hard to see them. The man named Jae jumped over the bench and pulled her in for a hug, “Hey Kalin, did you wait long?” I felt disgusted to how close he was to her. How could he just hug her like that? Kalin shook her head and gently moved away from him, “I was here for just a few minutes, oppa. No worries.” He ruffled her hair and laughed, “Good. I brought you something.” Kalin hopped up and down like a kid making both Jae and I smile a little.

She was always such a little kid.

“Oppa! Show me! Show me!” I let a little laugh come out of me as I watched her go all up in his face. Jae set his two hands on her shoulders and stopped her, “Alright, alright. Calm down.” She did as told like a little puppy and watched as Jae pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. She gently took it and opened it, her eyes sparkling like the snow as she gaped at it, “Oppa… It’s so pretty!” She embraced him in a tight hug and I felt my heart clench. My mind was going crazy, hoping she could hear the messages it was sending.

Stop it. Stop being so close to him. Stop it, Kalin-ah.

She pulled out the silver charm bracelet from the box and he clipped it around her small wrist. She pointed at it, “Why does it have half a heart?” Jae smiled and pulled one of his sleeves up, “I have one half, you have the other.” He brought both of their wrists close together and the magnetic hearts stuck together. Kalin read it out loud like she was a first grade school reader, “Best…friends.” I sighed of relief, who knew what would happen to me if it said ‘I love you’ or something. Just then, I felt someone leap onto my back and squeal, “Jiyong oppa!”

Great. Just great.

Jae and Kalin snapped their heads towards us and their eyes widened. For some reason, Jae wrapped his arm around Kalin’s shoulder, as if he was protecting her. I wanted to walk up to him and pound him in the face for touching her. What was happening to me? Lina hopped off my back and hugged me, “Oppa! I missed you so much!” I awkwardly hugged her back, “M-Me too.”

Kalin POV

Jae quietly spoke as Jiyong and Lina had their moment, “Want to make them jealous?” I pushed him and laughed, “No thank you, oppa. Stop being so evil.” He shrugged and smirked. Once Lina had stopped hugging Jiyong she dragged him closer to the bench, as if she didn’t see Jae and I. As she was just in front of us, the bench in between, she stopped and stared at me. “K-Kalin! W-Why a-are you h-h-here?” That’s right Lina. You should be scared for stealing my ex-boyfriend. If I was like any other girl, I would pounce on her and rip her face off, but because of her, both Jiyong and I were happy. I smiled and waved, “Hey Lina. Long time no see, huh? I’m just here with one of my bestfriends, Jae oppa.” Lina took a step back as she laid eyes on Jae and froze, “J-Jae oppa?” Jae squinted his eyes, as if he was scanning her and soon his eyes widened as well, “Lina?” I looked at both of them, “You two…know each other?” I never once mentioned Lina’s name when I told Haerin and Jae the Jiyong stories. I was utterly confused and Jae looked at me, his eyes showing anger. His tone was serious as his jaw clenched, “Lina here is dating a friend of mine.” Jiyong stared at Lina, “What?” Lina panicked and grabbed Jiyong’s arm, “Oppa! It’s not what you think!” Jae scoffed and crossed his arms, “Really? Weren’t you supposed to be with him today? He told me he had planned a cozy afternoon with you at his house.” Jiyong escaped her grip and tightened his fists, “Is that why you were scared to come today? How long have you been with the other guy?” Lina grabbed his arm again, only making him wipe her hands off like it was a dirty parasite, “I ASKED YOU HOW LONG!” I jumped back from his outburst as Lina looked like she was on the verge of crying, “A-A few months.”

I felt satisfied as Lina was getting exactly what she deserved.

Jiyong raked his hand through his hair and I knew this wasn’t good. He always did that when he felt like he needed to hit something. He raised an arm but I immediately stepped in, “That’s enough.” Everyone looked at me, confused, and Jae whispered, “Isn’t this what you want?” I looked at him. Yes. This was exactly what I wanted. But I couldn’t do it. No matter how much of a brat Lina was, she was there for me through my toughest times. I sighed, “Jae oppa, just go tell your friend about this. Take Lina with you.” He nodded and grabbed Lina while furiously dialing his friend’s number. I deeply exhaled and took a seat on the bench, hoping Jiyong would just leave after seeing me like this. Sadly, he didn’t. Jiyong sat down beside me, a foot away. We sat there in silence, looking over the city like we used to, but not as close.

Jiyong POV

The quiet was killing me so I looked at my feet and softly spoke, “How have you been…this past year?” She sighed and kept on looking towards the city, “I’ve been perfectly fine. Everything seems to be falling into place.” I nodded, not knowing what to say anymore. I took a glance at Kalin and my eyes fixed themselves on her side profile. I never remembered her skin being so flawless and perfect. I watched as her eye lashes fluttered for every blink, totally captivating. I gazed at how she would bite her perfectly pink bottom lip, was it weird I wanted to claim them as mine? I observed every wave of her shiny, soft, light brown hair; oh how I wanted to just feel it in between my fingers. She turned her face to me and we made eye contact. When were her eyes so intoxicating? My eyes briefly went over her features and it finally hit me – she was never just an average girl. Kalin was an angel sent from the heavens for us human males to fall in love with. Everything about her seemed so irresistible. Kalin looked away, but there was no sign of her being flustered. I don’t understand. Everytime we made eye contact she would look away with her cheeks red. She smiled and swung her feet, “So…before all of this, were you happy with Lina?” I looked at my lap and sighed, “N-Not really.” She nodded, completely unbothered, “Why not? I thought I was the only obstacle?” I shook my head and started to explain when things went wrong with Lina and I – it was the day I found Kalin’s note.

As I quickly drove down the streets of Seoul, I smiled as Lina started playing with my hair. I quickly glanced at her, then turned my attention back on the streets, “What are you doing, jagi?” It felt different calling her a pet name, but I was getting bored of calling Kalin pet names as well. Lina giggled, “Where are we going?” I smiled and held one of her hands, “Today I’m going to break it off with Kalin to be with you.” She stopped playing with my hair and bit her lip, “A-Are you sure?” I parked the car in and unbuckled my seatbelt, “Of course. Kalin and I weren’t going to last forever in the first place.” I got of the car and quickly opened Lina’s door like a gentleman. I laced my hand with hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze, and led her inside the condominium. I knew Lina was scared Kalin would hurt her, but I wasn’t going to let that happen. It’s not Lina’s fault Kalin couldn’t satisfy me. As the elevator doors closed, I captured Lina’s soft lips and she mimicked my actions. This kiss was different. It was more of lust than love, but that would change soon enough. The doors opened and I quickly pulled her through the halls, punching in my pin number. I smiled and squeezed Lina’s hand, “Kalin! I’m home!” Silence. Lina let go of my hand and walked towards the glass coffee table, picking up a paper that was folded in half. As she read it, her eyes widened and she stared at me with sad eyes, “She’s…gone…” My eyebrows furrowed and I quickly snatched the note, reading every word. Lina smiled and grabbed the ring on the table, “I guess I can have this…right Jiyongie?” I set the note on the table and stared at Lina who was sliding the ring onto her finger.

No. Take it back you idiot! That’s Kalin’s!

I obeyed my subconscious and stole back the ring. Lina looked at me with angry eyes, “Why can’t I have it?!” I stuffed the ring into my back pocket and cracked a smile, “I’ll get you a new one.” She grinned and wrapped her arms around my neck, “An even better one? With a bigger diamond?” I nodded and she quickly kissed me. This kiss felt different, like it shouldn’t be happening. She leaned away and pouted, “Is something wrong oppa?” I shook my head and wrapped my arms around her. Why did it feel so weird to touch her now? Lina sighed and kissed my cheek, “Ah… It feels good to be with you now since that stupid Kalin is gone.” A voice inside me rang:

You’re just going to let her say that?!

My body reacted on its own and I pushed her away, causing her to land on her bum. She scowled, “What the hell Jiyong?!” I brushed her away and walked towards my room, half-heartedly apologizing, “Sorry. I’m going to take a shower.”

From then on, I grew farther apart from Lina, but I didn’t know why.

Now I knew. I didn’t want Lina, I wanted Kalin. Lina was a goddamn gold digger, asking me for everything on different catalogs. Kalin, she never once asked me for anything. She didn't want my money of my stuff - she wanted me. Not G-Dragon, but Kwon Jiyong. I looked over at Kalin to see her nodding her head as if she was taking in all the information. She turned to me and tilted her head cutely, “So now what?” I bit my lip and turned away, what exactly am I supposed to do now? I sighed, maybe it was time for me to get the question I wanted an answer to so dearly out. I kept my eyes on my feet, “W-Why did you let me stay with Lina?” Kalin crossed her legs by her ankles and played with her fingers on her lap. She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh. “Two months before I left, you changed. You were colder towards me. You stopped showing your affection. Eventually I started to say ‘I love you’ first, but you never said it back, remember?” I nodded as I realized how I acted. It was two months before she left that I started to grow attached to Lina. I nodded again and she continued, “I already knew you didn’t love me anymore. I saw all the signs, Jiyong. I just ignored them all. I thought maybe we could make it through…maybe you would love me again,” A lump grew in my throat as I couldn’t utter a word. They way she spoke, the way she said my name, it all made me heart start beating again. She smiled to herself, “But then, the day I left, we had a chat on the phone, remember?” I nodded. That was the last time I heard her voice – the softest, sweetest voice in the world. She looked at me with eyes that showed a whole mess of emotions. “When you didn’t tell me you loved me back…I didn’t know what to do anymore, so I took a walk. I walked around, taking photos of parts of the park. Then I stopped and saw an affectionate couple, so I had to take a picture. It reminded me of how we used to be.” She reached for something in her back pocket and handed me a Polaroid photo of Lina and I. My heart came to a complete stop, the photo was taken at the perfect angle to see both of our faces clearly. I read her little message at the bottom and frowned.

If he’s happy, you can be too. Kalin, Fighting!

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and smiled, “I saw how you looked at her, Jiyong. The way you smiled at her…it was like she was the most important thing in the world to you and it was just in your reach. It was like the day you confessed to me, but afterwards…you stopped looking at me like that. When I saw you with Lina, I didn’t want to take that away from you again. I figured that I was the thing in between you and your happiness, so I eventually left. I learned to be happy again.” She gently took the picture back and gazed at it sadly, but with a crooked smile on her face. I caught a single tear fall from one of her beautiful eyes, onto the picture. She sniffed and put the picture back in her pocket while gazing at the falling snowflakes. “After I left…I’ve become scared. I’m scared of falling in love again, Jiyong. I’m scared I won’t be able to feel anything anymore. Sure, I’m happy with my life. But what if I can’t be happy with someone else? I should’ve known that not all love lasts forever. I should’ve known you would grow to love someone else. I…I should’ve known the spark we had would soon fade. I-”

Immediately I moved her face towards me and connected our lips. Her eyes shot open and mine slowly closed. Oh how great it felt to feel my lips pressed against hers again. I massaged my lips onto hers, wanting the lingering feeling to enhance. My heart was pounding against my rib cage, begging to be let free. I felt her slowly start to relax and I used one hand behind her head to pull her closer. My fingers tangled into her soft hair and I felt at ease. She hesitantly kissed me back for a millisecond, but even in that short time, it was enough for a million electric bolts to shoot through me. Was this kiss filled with more love than lust? Did she feel the love I was trying to convey? The year’s worth of love I wanted to give her? Little by little I leaned away, resting my forehead on hers, “Tell me you didn’t feel a spark.” She looked into my eyes and I saw the innocence reflect off of them. She was like my own blessing – a blessing I lost. She bit her lip, “I…can’t.” I smiled and was about to lean in for another kiss, but she held my chest, keeping me back, “No, Jiyong. I don’t want this to end up like last time. Y-You’ll get tired of me.”

She stood up and my reflex was to grab her wrist. My body couldn’t handle her to leave again, my heart couldn’t take it. I looked up at her with pleading eyes, “Give me another chance. Now I realize what I’ve been missing out on. I can’t handle being without you anymore. There’s no one like you, Kalin. There’s no other angel, no other blessing, no other miracle like you. Y-You’re like my heaven.” Her eyes were glued to her feet, as if she was planning to get away. She looked at me with mistrust, “I…” I slowly stood up and tilted her chin up so she could look at me again. She gently smiled, “I guess I can give you another chance if you play your cards right.” My eyes widened and I grazed the back of my fingers on her cold cheek, “So that means…” She bit her lip, as if she was trying to stop the smile on her lips from growing,

“Prove to me you want me Jiyong, and maybe I can give you another try.”

I smiled and pecked her forehead. I wrapped my arms around her securely and my world grew clearer. It was as if by holding Kalin, I was protecting the world’s greatest treasure. I let her go and grabbed both of her hands, “Well, I might as well start now.” I clasped both of her frozen hands in between mine and rubbed them while breathing hot air onto them. She giggled and placed her cheek on my hand, feeling the warmth. I couldn’t help but break into a smile and quickly peck her free cheek.

I will spend every second of every day making it up to her, no matter how long it takes.