HIMCHAN POV

I managed to keep on a straight face the entire time I was facing Yongguk. It was almost impossible to hold in a blush when I nudged him. Then I felt some guilt and worry in me     being the umma I am     when he ran to the bathroom with a red face. Hopefully he doesn't have a fever.

I love him enough to care for him; I love him more than a brother or friend. Of course, as a lover.

His gummy smile always directed to me, I feel the tingle in my chest, and a blush coming to my face, though I try to hold it back so it doesn't seem obvious. It's just so perfect.

I can't just tell him that though. Why? Because of rejection. I'm very ugly in many people's eyes, whether they mean it or not. There are times when I'm bored and I just go searching for random websites which appeal to the generation today. I found this website that's quite popular with the youth today. I then decided to search up some B.A.P tags, and see how many babyz there are on the site.

I happened to stumble on one post with me making a funny face, along with many different hashtags; them saying "#himchan stop it #you ugly derp #stop it #". Yes. These people exist. There are also some that say "#why are you so ugly himchan? #why can't daehyun just be the visual instead of a guy like you?". They're truthfully long, and it's not like it's going to be a main tag anyway. But I never know what to believe or not. I take things like these seriously. I click on the URL of the blogs that post those thing about me. They're all B.A.P fan blogs. It's very confusing. I've never heard of a fan insulting an idol that much before. So why start with me?

The only thing I enjoy about these: They ship me with Yongguk. What lovely and evil beings.

But sometimes, I just think those are pathetic. I mean, I myself are pathetic. I don't deserve a guy like Yongguk. He's perfect with his muscles and perfect gummy smile and straight teeth...

I sighed. I then I realized I was still in the middle of the living room when Zelo sneezed, and I jumped in surprise. I was literally just standing there, and the said boy and Jongup were eating bags of chips in the kitchen.

"Hyung," Jongup spoke up, "Are you okay? You've been standing there for like 10 minutes."

"Uh, yeah. I'm just tired is all."

I quickly ran to my shared room with Yongguk and took a look at myself in the mirror.

"Why am I so ugly?", I said out loud, "Why am I the ing visual of B.A.P in the first place? There's nothing special about me or my features like the fans themselves said. Shouldn't Daehyun just be the visual since he's the most favored and looks better than me? I'm so pathetic and useless, why can't I just DIE?!"

I ruffled my hair and started pulling on it. I was going insane. I couldn't take it anymore, I was just so irritated and pissed. I realized I was useless. To B.A.P, to babyz, possibly to my friends, and especially my parents. I hate everything about me. Why am I alive?

Himchan lied down on the queen-sized bed he shares with Yongguk, and decided to hug his knees and start crying.

Suddenly, the door flew open with a frowning Yongguk standing at the doorway.

AUTHOR POV

Yongguk has been in the bathroom for quite a long time, trying to calm himself down from his flushed reaction earlier. He then decided to take a shower.

He found some PJs in there that he'd left before he went for the walk. He quickly changed and took a towel around his neck, rubbing his wet hair dry. He has left the bathroom and headed for the living room.

Noticing Himchan wasn't there, he broke the silence, "Jongup, Zelo, where's Himchan?"

The two look up at their wet hyung, and both smirked, as if it was arranged.

"In your guys' room." Jongup replied, instantly putting a chip in his mouth afterwards.

"Thanks."

Yongguk headed for the said room, still wondering why the smirk was on the youngers' faces.

He passed by Daehyun and Youngjae's rooms. There were some unusual sounds coming from that room...almost as if it was...never mind.

Anyways, Yongguk had found his way to the room he'd been willing to enter, but kept his hand on the door knob as he heard the man on the other side talking to himself.

Why am I so ugly? Why am I the ing visual of B.A.P in the first place? There's nothing special about me or my features like the fans themselves said. Shouldn't Daehyun just be the visual since he's the most favored and looks better than me? I'm so pathetic and useless. Why can't I just DIE?!

Those words were murder to Yongguk's ears. Water started pooling around Yongguk's eyes, but then them back in when he knew that that wasn't the thing to do at this moment. Instead, he frowned, and opened the door forcefully.

There was Himchan, curled up in his shared bed with the older, red, puffy eyes exhausted from the sobbing and stress he was feeling that night. Himchan sat up, desperate to wipe off the extra tears that have fallen to his red cheeks.

"Himchan. Stop." were the first words that Yongguk had come to say when he entered. He closed the door quietly behind, and walked to Himchan, who just backed away slightly as Yongguk got closer and closer.

Yongguk got a hold of Himchan's cheeks, and looked him straight in the eye.

"Himchan. You're perfect the way you are."

"W-what?"

"You're beautiful. The most beautiful person in this world," Yongguk explained, Himchan tearing up again.

"You're joking right?" Himchan took Yongguk's palms off his face and stood up, walking to the door.

"No I'm not," Yongguk started, "you're beautiful and amazing. You should know that."

"But since I don't, then how do you?" Himchan shot back, Yongguk letting out a breathy laugh, "I'm useless Yongguk, I'm nothing to this world."

Himchan then starts walking again until he felt a grip on his wrist, "HIMCHAN!" Yongguk yelled, enough for the other four in the dorm to hear, "Listen to me! You're the most amazing, most beautiful, most gorgeous thing, most adorable thing this world has to offer. Why can't you just understand that you're perfect?"

"Stop it Yongguk. I don't need this right now."

The grip on Himchan's wrist got tighter, and Yongguk pulled Himchan into a hug.

"Himchan," Yongguk whispered into the ulzzang's ear, "I love you."

Himchan officially started sobbing again, hugging Yongguk back.

"I just don't understand...why they hate me..."

"They don't! They just probably love you so much that they think they can insult you like that." Yongguk chuckled, Himchan's hair.

"Well they're wrong. If they love someone, then they should just show them even more love." Himchan said seriously, which made Yongguk laugh out loud.

"It's up to them. But they're just basically saying you're adorable."

"Haha you're funny Yongguk. But thank you."

"For what?"

"For being here with me."

Himchan pulled away from Yongguk enough to face him and leaned closer until their nose tips touched, and their foreheads met.

"Is this another practice for the next performance?" Yongguk questioned the jet black haired man.

"No, it's something different."

Himchan tilted his head until his lips met Yongguk's. They kissed passionately until Yongguk decided to Himchan's bottom lip and the younger parted his lips for Yongguk to enter, fighting with Himchan's tongue until the younger moaned softly and quivered at his touch.

They pulled away for air, and looked deeply into each other's eyes.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to do this, Himchan."

"Same."

"Well, okay."

"Yongguk?"

The older hummed in response.

"I love you too."

Himchan pecked at his lips until another make out session has begun.

All Himchan ever wanted was to be called beautiful in an honest way by the one he loves. He even read a boring and corny novel to get his mind off of it.

Yongguk was his life saver...literally.

Who knew that the only perfect person in this world was...Yongguk?

Hai goize.

This is pretty cheesy, huh? Well I tried.

Himchan is loved by many, right? I mean, look at him. He's a motherly kind, and he's beautiful too. Like Yongguk!

I hope you guys liked this...it's all fluff...I tried not to get into , so I just left it open-ended. Haha.

Any guesses on what DaeJae was doing?

JongLo were going intimate...on the chips.

Okay, bai nao.

- Emma