SONG SUGGESTION : WALLPAPER DESIGN by IU

You walked down the aisle, a straight and faked smile on your face. You looked ahead, your eyes focused on Chanyeol, who was standing beside Baekhyun. He smiled at you intently, his gaze completely fixed on you. You immediately diverted your attention to prevent tears from spilling and further drama from happening. You made a sharp turn to the left and stood on your place.

Chanyeol was your boyfriend, but today, he’s getting married to your sister.

His eyes were still on you as your sister finally made her way down the aisle, smiling genuinely like seeing Chanyeol for the first time. Her eyes flicker to you, sending signals how grateful she was. You sent back a pained smile, the one you have been keeping to yourself for a very long time already.

Your eyes meet Chanyeol’s before he took your sister’s hand from your father’s. Your mind wanders from the very first moment you became a couple.

It was a sunny day and you were walking on the beach, hand in hand as you both enjoyed the feeling of the sand touching your skin. Chanyeol gazed down on you and smiled. He squeezed your hand as you walked beside him. Today was the happiest day of your life; you have finally said your sweetest yes.

He crouched down and carried you on his back, your arms around him as your whispered sweet words on his ear.

Every day was spent with him, hours ticked like seconds, days passed like hours. You looked forward to each day you opened your eyes to the sight of the sun. He reminded you of the sun, his embrace, his smile, and his eyes.

You were the perfect couple, they said. You both promised not to leave each other until the world ended. You’ll stay by each other’s side until you both grew old.

The priest sent the signal and Chanyeol slid the gold ring on her finger as he said his vows slowly and clearly. Your sister smiled at him and encouraged him to continue. His words, though perfectly made sense were like cement to you. It hardened your heart and made you numb. Don’t continue please, you begged as you looked at him helplessly. He was saying the words to your sister but his gaze was attached to yours. You felt tears rolling down your cheeks after he had uttered the last word from his mouth.

You both entered a quiet and empty church. You walked down the aisle as he waited for you at the altar, a wide smile on his face. You reached the altar and took his hand.

“…in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.” He had finally said as he gazed down at you before pulling you up for a kiss.

But that day came and you never knew. You thought it was just a normal day for the both of you. As you sprang down the flight of stairs of the house, you saw Chanyeol look up at you, a pained expression clearly written on his face.

He was arranged to get married to your sister. It was made even before you both met and became a couple. He never knew, only your sister did. There was nothing you could do; it was the only way to help. Fighting for your love for him would only make matters worse and you did not want that. You knew your sister loved him too.

One day, your sister had finally gained the courage to talk things over with you. She said she was sorry, that she loved Chanyeol before you did and she needed him. It was love and there was nothing she could do about it, she said. There were a lot of things you had talked about; you told her how Chanyeol loves to screw things up, how he loves to eat in the middle of the night, how he smiles like an idiot over small things, how he behaves like a child. You told her how much you loved him, and how it pains you to see them getting married.

You and Chanyeol met the day after that, you talked about everything you could think about. Though you did not mention the wedding, it was obvious he was desperate. He wanted to run away with you, he wanted to settle and live with you. He needed you.

“You know, you can always have me.” He whispered in broken sobs as you tried to calm yourself down and tried to act like a strong person in front of him.

With an aggrieved expression about to appear on your face, you told him how much you loved him back but there was nothing you both could do to survive. It was a battle you could not win. One has to give up and leave. And that person was you.

After a month was their wedding. You never saw Chanyeol again; you ignored his calls and texts. You threw away the gifts he gave. But you kept your memories deep inside our heart.

You entered the room where your sister was staying; her face bloomed like the flowers in spring but your heart as cold as a winter night. You sat beside her, brushed the hair off her forehead and complemented on how pretty she was. She smiled before you finally gathered your courage to tell her, “Love him as much as you could. Take good care of him.”

You left and met him on the way; you talked and in air painfully. Each breath was hard to take, as his gaze never left yours. You put together the remaining pieces of your strength before finally saying, “I’m sorry to make you believe that your happiness was with me. Be the Park Chanyeol that I know, okay?” before you could walk away, he pulled you in for an embrace. He whispered on your ear, “I will always love you.” You pulled away, not answering his sentence. You felt the cold wind grip on you as you opened the door and headed outside. ‘I love you too, always will.’ You whispered.

Words have been said, vows have been promised. Chanyeol kisses her on the forehead before he holds her hand and leads her down the aisle. Your sister looked at you happily. You smiled at her and looked at Chanyeol, who was looking at you meaningfully.  You tugged behind them, a tear slowly rolling down your cheek.

They reached the door of the church and Chanyeol gazed at you for the last time, you managed to give him a genuine smile, you mouthed the words, ‘Thank you’ as you noticed him sniff and wipe his tears. You immediately looked away, dabbed you tears and smiled at your father, who taped your shoulder and embraced you.

Baekhyun held your hand before telling you, “He loves you. He wanted me to tell you that.” You looked back at Chanyeol who kept his eyes on you. He was forcing a smile before he entered the car and closed the door.

You see cars collide and crashing against each other and you immediately opened your eyes to the light. You looked around the room before finally uttering, ‘Just a dream.’

Your eyes wander around, looking at the wallpaper design of the room. It had the shade of pastel yellow, the one Chanyeol likes. You rose from your bed and walked towards the bathroom and did your daily routine.

You headed for the kitchen, brewed coffee and made breakfast. You sipped the hot coffee and winced as it burned your tongue. You dropped it on the sink and left it there. You ignored your breakfast and headed straight for the dressing room. You picked simple clothes and paired it with flats. There was no time for being pretty, no one was going to see you anyway, just him.

You drove away from the city and into the mountains. You walked towards where he was and smiled.

“Ya, Park Chanyeol, I missed you.” You whispered before you placed the flowers on his tomb. Daisies were his favourite. Bright yellow ones.

“Happy anniversary, to us.” You uttered brokenly before forcing a smile.

He was on his way for your wedding when he met an accident. The only time you saw him was when he was lying inside the coffin. Today was supposedly your wedding day and your anniversary. But then, it was already too late.

“I’ll always love you.” You whispered as the cold wind embraced you.