"Are you afraid?"

"Of what?"

"Of getting your heart broken."

"No, not really."

"Why?"

"Because it's him."

"Oh. Then, do you want to come with me?"

"Where?"

"There."

"Hm. I guess so. But when will you bring me back?"

It is nine o'clock at night and it's cold. The sky blue painted walls are cold and the snowy wind brushing past the open window is cold. The lights are off and the moon, the moon isn't bright enough -- not as usual. But none of it matters because Jonghyun pretty much feels numb anyway.

For exactly three hours and fifty-one, fifty-two, or maybe it just turned fifty-three minutes; his dark brown pools are unmoving. The mattress beneath him should feel soft and comfortable, but it isn't. His whole body is stiff and the gift box with a red ribbon knotted perfectly on its middle is doing him no good. Ticking, ticking, his digital bedside clock continues to tick as his body half-lays there; staring intently at Key's unopened early Christmas gift.

He honestly doesn't know what to do with it. Thus he stares, letting his mind wander to places he has never been to before. Like China, and how huge of a country it is and how big of a population it has.

In the dark, time seems to slow down; stop. And maybe that's exactly what he needs right now. Because this so-called attraction, or love, or whatever it is that's making him follow Yoona everywhere? It has to take a step or two back.

Everything's going a little too fast, even for him.

He thinks of smiles, beautiful smiles, and he sees two when he should be seeing one -- hers. There's always her, her, her, and then in between is him. Through the gaps, the spaces, the lapses, Key seeps in like water and floods Jonghyun's thoughts with flushed high cheekbones and thick eyebrows and brown almond eyes.

He's driven to insanity. Almost, but he can't go crazy now. Not now.

Then he thinks of Key. Not just thinking past him, but really allowing Key's dimpled smile, Key's black-framed glasses, Key's pale skin, Key's long fingers, Key's thin waist, and Key's obnoxious laugh to just loiter around his mind freely; without restrictions. He casts off all binding titles: best friend, classmate, neighbour, fake boyfriend.

And just lets Key be Kim Kibum - clumsy at times, childish, plainly beautiful. Jonghyun stops himself right there. Something is out of place.

Love, Jonghyun thinks, is not as easy as he thought it would - should - be. It is supposed to drive him to submission (check), to do crazy things (check), and to make him overflow with happiness. But in a way, he can't help but feel like she can't give the last one to him. Or maybe he's overthinking things. Because love, as he repeats in his head, requires patience and a sturdy foundation before it blooms into something more.

With a sigh and a newly-found determination, he concludes everything with something as simple as: I must miss Kibum.

Not Key, not the stoic straight-A student. Just Kibum.

But then there's Kris - the seemingly perfect and noble prince for Key. Jonghyun grunts lowly, clearly opposed to the idea. He grits his teeth and creases his brows because no, it doesn't bother him that Key likes boys. It's certainly not that. He just doesn't like the itchy, sore feeling that it's not him. And he ponders that it's a thought not quite fitting, considering he isn't into guys.

Jonghyun has always liked s and curvy hips and small feet. The future family he has pictured in his head is with a she and a cute little princess, twirling around barefoot in the park. Having twins sounds great, too. There will be a pastel-coloured house designed with large windows and a garden where sunflowers bloom as the sunlight shines down upon them.

It's a picture-perfect family.

He always thought of it that way. The search, the attraction, the pull - they have always been directed to her. But now he thinks there must be some kind of turbulence because unknowingly and unconsciously, gravity is pulling him closer to Key.

He shouldn't, he knows he shouldn't. He shouldn't notice how long his eyelashes are. He shouldn't notice how soft his blonde curls are. He shouldn't notice how curious those eyes are. He shouldn't -- not because it's wrong, unnatural. But because it's terrifying.

This feeling isn't foreign at all. He has felt it with Yoona, only different. Something more passionate and comforting at the same time. Something that makes his heart flip, and not his stomach. Something warm, warmer; greater, deeper.

And he is afraid that it's coming his way sooner than he expected.

As the clock strikes ten, Jonghyun finds himself rooted at Onew's doorstep with only his pyjamas on and a flimsy jacket thrown over his shoulder. Cradled in his arm is Key's Christmas gift, the content still a mystery to him. He can't bring himself to open it. Not until he has all these emotions sorted out. Three ing days, he has done nothing productive out of disappointment (or regret maybe).

He leaves his sleek black car at the front porch and readies his heart and mind for what awaits him (because who in the world comes over at such an ungodly hour). Buzz, goes the doorbell as his cold finger comes in contact with the round, metallic button. The lights inside the house are still on and Jonghyun doubts his team mate is already in bed. It's Onew -- obnoxious, weird, athletic, clumsy, smart; that guy has all personalities combined in him.

"What the hell, man?" Jonghyun looks up from his now turning purple toes (maybe he should have taken some time to think rationally before going out of the house) to the shooting guard before him, hair dishevelled and clothes crumpled. Yeah, this is Lee Jinki alright.

"Hello to you, too," he mouths with clattering teeth. Onew gives him a look. "Are you going to let me in or not?"

"Just because you look like a ing hobo."

Jonghyun learns of Onew's night activities (which includes flower arrangement schedules, accounting, and deliveries) and sighs a relief that he's not in his team mate's shoes. Being the eldest, and the beneficiary, of such a blooming business sounds tougher than it looks. The holidays aren't doing Onew any good either.

They walk up the stairs, all carpeted and vacuumed of any dust bunnies. Jonghyun has been here so many times that he feels like he pretty much lives here and he knows that it's not Onew's room behind that door they just stopped at. The wooden door is painted royal blue and several magazine cut-outs of people dancing and doing stunts are pasted on the hard surface.

Onew can't dance, let alone walk without tripping. Definitely Taemin's.

"I have quite a good guess why you're here, and just so you know, I don't plan on being your white chick," Onew chuckles before he continues. "Since Taemin is Key's Blair Waldorf, or Selena Gomez, or something..."

Jonghyun snickers. "You sure know your chick flicks, Onew."

"Shut up. Jessica watches it a lot, okay? Anyway, I'm sure Taemin can help you with your boy problem." Jonghyun is about to protest because he certainly doesn't have a 'boy problem', but decides against it because here goes Onew again, knowing just what to say, what to do and what he needs. He doesn't know how Onew does it, he just does.

Onew pats him once at the back and leaves. Well, if he's meeting Key's personal Blair, then he better man up and act like the perfect Chuck Bass around.

...Except he isn't.

He was not expecting Nicole to open the door for him, let alone expect her to be there in the first place. In her pink, bunny pyjamas, she opens the door for him with a look close to being surprised (but not quite). Her eyes are wide and her lips form an adorably cute 'o' before she drinks the image of Jonghyun standing there awkwardly with a meek smile as a greeting.

Hi, Jonghyun says unsurely; a hand reaching the back of his neck and rubbing it. This is awkward, utterly awkward because a) Nicole is a girl b) Girls aren't supposed to have sleepovers at a guy's place c) She's Key's girl best friend d) She's in the squad with Yoona and e) Jonghyun is wearing his ugly, grey pyjamas that even Key once threatened to incinerate.

"Oh, it's you," Nicole stated nonchalantly, her blonde shoulder-length hair moving loosely as she tilts her head a little to the left. It's almost as if she has been expecting his arrival.

Jonghyun sighs heavily. This is going to be a long night.

Got it. Take care of yourself, Hyung. Good night.

Jonghyun hears Taemin say as soon as he sets foot inside the slightly messy room. There are pastel blue curtains and sunset dim lights, a white study desk at the far corner of the room with a vintage lamp stand beside it, the floor is carpetted just like the rest of the house, and abstract paintings of people dancing under vibrant lights occupy the plain white walls. In the middle is an odd-shaped (Jonghyun swears it's the shape of a pentagon, or a star, maybe) bed with crumpled sheets and fluffy plushies of various fruits. Taemin is on it, leaning casually on the headrest with his blue Mac book resting on his stretched-out legs.

Their sights intersect. Taemin sighs dramatically, closing his laptop and carefully placing it on the night stand.

It is one of those moments where Jonghyun feels small, intimidated by the redhead's presence. The feeling doesn't visit him often, rarely even. The kid is anything but fierce, for Pete’s sake! Lee Taemin is the definition of kisses and coos and squishy cherry cheeks. But there are times when change is inevitable like for example, when Taemin moves his body to the beat of the music. The innocence leaves without a trace and Taemin's gaze darkens while his body moves with such fluidity and precision. Lee Taemin turns into a monster on the dance floor -- conspicuous, untamed, and intimidating.

Right now, though, Jonghyun is sure that Taemin isn't dancing. Not even close to it. But damn, does it feel like it. (Jonghyun hates to admit that inside; his stomach is churning in nervousness as Taemin throws a cold and distant look at him making him look like a targeted prey.)

His hold on the gift box tightens, his legs shakily move forward, and his mouth form the words that say, "Hey, Tae." Jonghyun attempts a lopsided smile.

There's an awkward pause as Taemin blinks once, twice, thrice before exhaling heavily and falling back on his messy bed. Taemin puffs air on his cheeks and stretches an arm up with a flick of wrist which gestures for Jonghyun to move closer, closer, until he is now standing a feet away from the oddly-shaped (Jonghyun still swears it's a pentagon) bed. Taemin smiles up at him and mouths, "Sure took you long enough, Jonghyun-hyung."

"He sure did," Nicole pipes in when the door is once again closed. She takes her place on the bed by Taemin, sitting with legs crossed. "Now, sit," she pats the empty spot before her for Jonghyun to occupy.

Strange, everything is. Jonghyun isn't one for mind games. It confuses the hell out of him and more importantly, gives him a pounding headache. And these two are just as confusing as Key is.

He follows her orders without protests because, well, because he needs answers. Anything. Things that his mind is too dumb to understand. And maybe his heart, too. Yeah, definitely.

"So," Jonghyun starts stiffly, eyeing the two people in front of him (though technically speaking, little Taemin is hogging the right side of the bed). "I don't really understand anything and I think I need help. I take it you know just what I came here for?"

Obviously, he hears the two say in unison with matching eye rolls and oh god, they remind him so much of Key. These two must really spend a huge amount of time with Kim Kibum.

(He, first and foremost, attempts to ask why Nicole is there but wisely decides against it. That can wait.)

"That was Key-hyung just now," Taemin breaks the short but unnerving silence and the simple phrase laid is quick to reach Jonghyun's ears. Taemin said it with too much indifference, almost as if it didn't pull a string on Jonghyun's heart. But it did and it still does two minutes later.

Key was on Skype with Taemin and Jonghyun was a minute too late.

There are questions left unanswered, feelings left blurred. Jonghyun feels lost and all the more confused, yet Key keeps hiding from him. If only, if only they can talk it out and come to an understanding as to why Key all of a sudden flew to China then maybe Jonghyun wouldn't be cooped up in his room for three straight days. Jonghyun would have understood, and he would have done something - anything.

"W-What did he say?" Jonghyun stutters. "Is he alright? Is he eating well? Why isn’t he asleep yet? It's already late!"

The words just sort of escaped him. Taemin and Nicole stare at him in concern because they know, they understand, and yet they can't do anything to interfere. They understand that this is an internal battle between Jonghyun and himself. They understand that Key has given it his everything, has taken all the perfect chances and the rest is up to Jonghyun.

"He's doing rather fine actually." Taemin answers then goes on, "He wants to know if you are okay. He worries about you, you know."

Jonghyun hangs his head low, biting down on his lip as he wills away a huge smile. Key still cares for him, even worrying about him from China. But then the mention of the country itself can bring down his mood entirely. He loses his smile then grits his teeth once he remembers why Key is there in the first place; how Key even thought of spending the holidays there. Kris, that tall bastard, he mentally curses. The (tall) guy didn't do him any wrong, but it feels like it.

"You can be so stupid, Jonghyun," Nicold suddenly blurts out, scrunching her nose to show her disapproval. Jonghyun is oblivious, thus he asks her why, where he hears her say, "You do know that Key doesn't need that stupid contract to get himself a bunch of designer clothes, right?"

But Jonghyun still doesn't get it.

"He likes you, ! Though I have no clue what he sees in you," Taemin snaps at Jonghyun, all formalities pushed aside because he simply can. Taemin sits up and runs a hand through his hair before exhaling loudly; his frustrations getting the best of him. "I'm sorry, Hyung, but Nicole-noona is right. You're pretty stupid. Key-hyung likes you; it's not even that hard to tell. We thought you'd be the first one to notice, of all people!"

And Jonghyun doesn't really know what to say to that. Is this supposed to be a second-hand confession? A trick? Or something else entirely? Because if this is Taemin and Nicole getting back at him for something wrong he did, it's not funny. Telling him that his best friend likes him doesn't humour him.

"Just think about it, Jonghyun," Nicole's voice becomes soft and when Jonghyun looks up, her eyes are gentle yet serious. Then she displays a soft smile and says, "Kibomi is one attractive guy. Regardless of his brain, his personality, or his preference even, our schoolmates claim silly crushes for him. And yet he turns them down, one by one."

"I'd totally go for Key-hyung if only he's not already going gaga over you," Taemin pipes in, making his point clear, which earns him a 'shut up' from Nicole.

"Think carefully with your heart, Jonghyun. If you don't, it might just be too late," Nicole tells him. "Until then, I suggest you keep that present unopened."

And he does keep the gift unopened.

Onew invites him for a sleepover and he gladly accepts because he doesn't think he can be alone right now. His mind is going haywire and it's taking him a lot of time to drink everything in. Isn't this a little too much for one night? He listens to their every word about Key and maybe he breaks a little and then.

Then Nicole tells him to think of every little detail carefully. Jonghyun does eventually, when he's lying in bed with a snoring Onew beside him and when the lights are out, nothing but the hushed wind outside is heard. The snow is still falling.

Jonghyun remembers his first snow fall. It was with chubby little Kibum. Jonghyun was four when he went to their rooftop and saw little Kibum trying to bounce his way up, up, and up to catch a pretty snowflake. It was his first time seeing little Kibum's cheeks painted with a light shade of pink as he huffs and puffs against the shivering air just for a snowflake.

Jonghyun watched him silently; watched as little Kibum's black curly hair bounced up and down. Then little Kibum smiled. Prettily, Jonghyun adds as he reminisces. Little Kibum caught the cold snowflake and that was the first time Jonghyun thought little Kibum was pretty and pale as the snow.

(And not a second later, he was joining the chubby boy in catching snowflakes just because.)

Jonghyun remembers bruises, and lots of it. Key is easy to bruise -- then and now. Jonghyun was six when he first saw Key cry. He instantly decided he hated it. He also decided he hated playground slides from then on. He saw Key's cheeks flushed with a light shade of pink - and the nose, too - and thought it was still pretty on him. But he didn't like it, because Key was without a smile.

(On their way home, he carried a hiccupping Key on his back and realized Key was actually very fragile.)

Jonghyun remembers being extremely hungry and lonely. He was twelve when he almost cried himself to sleep because his parents were working late and his stomach was growling like an angry lion. He convinced himself that sleeping was the best way to go, until he heard three light taps against his bedroom door. Key found him curled into a ball in the middle of his bed at nine in the evening and Jonghyun couldn't decipher the joy he felt upon seeing Key holding a bento box paired with a carton of chocolate milk.

(Jonghyun has been addicted to chocolate milk since then and Key spoiled him to his heart's content.)

Jonghyun remembers big, round eyes. He was fourteen when he first saw those dark brown orbs so wide and wanting. They were walking home from school when Key laid his eyes on a yellow bicycle displayed on a sports store. Jonghyun tried prying Key off the glass that separated them from the equipment, but Key was teary-eyed Jonghyun just couldn't do it. They went home with Key's cheeks flushed red, his cat-like eyes b with tears.

(The next day was Key's birthday. Jonghyun emptied his wallet just to see a different kind of blush from Key that he thought suited him better. Much, much better.)

Jonghyun remembers smiles and he thinks of Key and his lovely dimples. But then he's reminded of Yoona and her charming grin and he thinks he's screwed.

So he tries, and tries his hardest, to pinch it out. Key likes him - that was enough to drive him mad because this isn't supposed to happen. Rule number five flashes in between his thoughts and he clenches his fist underneath the covers. He wonders why Key didn't tell him; why Key let it come to this.

Because right now, as he thinks of Yoona and her beautiful smile and candle-shaped hands, Jonghyun can't feel his stomach flip. And then, and then he thinks of Key and his curly blonde hair and black-framed glasses that often fall down the bridge of his nose and his love for oversized hoodies and the tub of strawberry ice cream and just.

His heart is simultaneously clenching and hammering and jumping. Jonghyun feels afraid. This will obviously lead him to something and he's afraid of what or where that may be.

Nicole finds Jonghyun early in the morning drinking coffee in the living room. (The Lee brothers are still passed out, as usual.)

"Have you thought about it?" Nicole asks, sitting by him on the brown leather couch and placing a plushie atop her lap.

"I did," Jonghyun gently replies.

"You hurt him, you know," goes Nicole with a tone set in pity. Jonghyun inhales sharply, suddenly his chest is constricting; closing in on his lungs.

Jonghyun lets her talk, because he has a lot to listen to. This may be his only chance to hear Key's mind (and heart).

She starts with the contract, that stupid and useless piece of paper, as she likes to put it. She tells him of Key's attempt to try and win Jonghyun's heart. Key says he has to at least try. There isn't anything to lose because as long as the contract is there, he can have the pathetic excuse to hold Jonghyun's hand and kiss him awake. As long as his signature is there, he can experience a date with Jonghyun. And smile like everything is real. Like Jonghyun is his.

But Nicole tells him of the sad reality that Key has to face: Cinderella has to come home when the magic wears off.

Key has to pretend that he's okay with it; that he's okay with Jonghyun looking at girls. Nicole has seen it once -- Key practicing his smile in front of the mirror.

So when she comes, he'll be ready. And she did come, Im Yoona. Jonghyun is smitten, Nicole disapprovingly concludes. Key has to try his best to smile whenever Jonghyun gives Yoona his helmet when he doesn't with Key. The missed dates, the missed calls -- Key has to tell himself that being clingy is never a good thing.

Nicole sighs and looks up at the ceiling, willing the water in her eyes to stop. This is her first time laying out her guy best friend's hurts and sacrifices, and it's taking a toll on her because she understands; because she cares.

She goes on, "Kibomi has to force himself not to smile whenever you put your arm around his waist. He needs to pretend that he doesn't like it because he doesn't want you to know. This is really lame, Jonghyun, 'cause we all know how he hates to lie,"

"He blushes easily, it's a known fact. So he looks away every time you share a spoon with him. I find it silly of him, to be honest. I mean, Kobomi actually thinks of it as an indirect kiss," Nicole chuckles beside Jonghyun. "Kibomi is such a girl, I swear."

She doesn't stop there. She tells Jonghyun how Key anticipates the lunch bell. At the rooftop Key waits for Jonghyun every day. Until Yoona came into the picture and Jonghyun no longer comes; no longer shares a meal that Key has prepared himself. Jonghyun learns from Nicole that Key doesn't eat that much anymore.

(And Jonghyun wants to scream at that: Key is already skinny enough with a healthy meal. Jonghyun shatters a little inside.)

Jealousy is the next thing Nicole talks about.

Key isn't selfish. But Key isn't that selfless either. He's a human being with imperfections and desires that cannot be controlled. Sometimes, Key caves in to his wants which results to Jonghyun receiving a quick peck on the cheek or the slight tightening of Key's hold around Jonghyun's waist as the black rider takes them to places.

Yoona can have the helmet, but for a second or two, Key begs for a little of that affection that was once all his.

"Why didn't he tell me anything?" Jonghyun asks between gritted teeth and clenched fists. He feels betrayed.

Since when did they keep things from each other? Key could have told him about this. Jonghyun could have heard it from Key himself instead of hearing it from somebody else. Jonghyun can only imagine how much it hurts from the way Nicole's breathing trembles as the words flow out of . If she's this close to breaking down, just how much did Key have to endure all this time?

How can he not see, god dammit!

"He tried, Jonghyun! God knows how much he tried to say those three words he has been wanting to say to you," Nicole trails off, her eyes already red as she fixes them on Jonghyun. She wants to slap the hell out of Jonghyun, but she's in no place to do that. "Kibomi told me that he wanted to tell you after the exams."

But Jonghyun is stopped in his tracks with a hand tugging at his wrist. Hey, Key's mouth forms the word that sounds nearly foreign to the athlete and the latter sees him nibble on his lower lip, a sign of uneasiness. "Are you doing something tomorrow?"

Jonghyun is about to answer no, when he remembers that yes, he's doing something tomorrow ("Jonghyun-ah, let's go to the noraebang with the girls on Friday!"). And the day after that. And the days to come. "Why?" He asks instead.

"I, I thought we could hang out since winter break starts tomorrow and- and I learned how to cook something delicious so I thought you might want to taste it."

"I'm sorry, Key, but uhm... I already made plans with her. Some other time then?"

, Jonghyun curses in his head because , he can't believe he missed it for some stupid noraebang with Yoona and the cheerleaders. He messed up and he knows it and Nicole just had to rub salt on his already open wound by saying:

"Watching the snowfall with you was Kibomi's last resort. But your fat didn't show up," Jonghyun earns a hard slap on his arm from Nicole. He doesn't feel it though. Or maybe he does, but he just doesn't give a damn anymore.

Key's face - beautiful and serene - flashes through his mind and yet; yet it feels like he's being punished. Jonghyun lets his mind wander around until it reaches a bundle of memories labelled with the name Kim Kibum. Guilty, he is. Guilty, he claims without hesitation. Because guilty he is for not realizing just how much Key has done for him.

(And guilty, guilty, guilty -- because he remembers how much he has talked about her, about marriage, and about offsprings to Key.)

I'm sorry, he wants to say but couldn't. He knows it doesn't even cover half of what's already been done. I miss you, he feels like saying but couldn't. He knows he doesn't have the face to do it anymore. I'm ready to listen, he needs to say but couldn't. He knows it's a little too late and it ing because he really wants to. Now, more than ever.

"But Kibomi isn't a damsel in distress, he's too good for that," Nicole lets the confession slip out of her lips. "He is aware of society and its ways. Not everyone is open-minded. And it's not like he flaunts his uality for the world to see. He learned how to be strong since a long time ago - in life, in love."

He doesn't need to be, Jonghyun nearly shouts the words. "That's why I'm here! I can ing stand up for him!"

"But that's not the issue here, Jonghyun," Nicole's words are slowly turning harsh and cold. "You weren't there when he wanted to pour out his feelings for you. You were with Yoona. Kibomi, my poor Kibomi... He was not able to do anything, not with your stupid rules still standing."

But, Jonghyun wants to say something, anything. But, he wants to defend his credibility as Key's best friend, one that has been around for fifteen years. But, he needs to find the right words to say or he himself will start doubting the bond he has with Key. But, there is none.

Because Nicole then almost kills him from the inside and out. She says, "Kibomi knew it all along - that it was already a lost battle. Still he tried. He once reasoned out that maybe there was a zero-point-one percent chance because rule number five is there. Personally, I think he's right. Unless you thought of the chance, that rare chance of having to fall for someone, you wouldn't restrict yourself with that rule, Jonghyun,"

"But I guess he was wrong. You found her; that's like saying you don't need the contract anymore." She sighs, smiles a little sadly, and turns to look at Jonghyun. , Jonghyun is about to crumble.

I need him, he doesn't even realize he said it out loud.

"No, you obviously don't. But it's okay, because ever since you left him at Jessica's party, Kris stepped in and made Kibomi smile again."

(And then that one name he is trying to avoid comes up -- unfortunately.)

As Jonghyun's coffee loses its warmth, he learns a whole bunch of things that morning (more than what he needs to know). At 8 AM, Nicole tells him how Key and Kris first met. They didn’t bump into each other and dropped their things. They didn’t meet at a local café and exchanged numbers. They didn’t argue like cats and dogs and then came to like each other eventually. They didn’t meet a common friend’s party (Key doesn’t even go to parties) and danced the night away. None of those clichéd scenes took place. It was raining outside when Key first met Kris.

Pretty little Haneul was busy styling her babysitter’s blonde hair (she had colourful rubber bands in her short fingers) when the doorbell rang on a Tuesday afternoon. With a pout and a huff and a crease on her forehead, she let go of Key’s soft locks. Haneul thought that the faster she let go of her favourite babysitter, the faster she can put her hands on those soft strands again. Key smiled at her and assured her that he would be back real fast, patting her head gently to calm her angry head. It was raining rather hard that day, making Key wonder if it was possible for someone to walk around the streets. Haneul’s parents weren’t coming back until dinner time, so it couldn’t possibly be them.

The red gate squeaked a bit as he pulled it open and maybe he got hit by some raindrops on his way. There was a (very) good-looking man standing there, golden-brown hair drenched in rain and big, suitcases encased in his hands. The man was rather tall, Key noticed, much taller than his classmate, Minho.

Who are you, Sir? Key let the question roll out of his tongue and out in the cold air. The man was obviously freezing, what with his teeth chattering and his arms trembling. But Key who hoped for an answer didn’t get one. He had to answer his own query when this man, this stranger with a perfectly-sculpted face, asked him: Who are you? And Key could do nothing but return the question with a proper answer, one that actually took their small talk somewhere, I’m Kibum and this is the Wu Residence.

The guy smiled warmly, and suddenly the rain didn’t feel cold against Key’s skin anymore. That smile felt like… home. And eventually, Key heard that exact word come out from when this stranger had told him: Hi, I’m Yi Fan. Kris will do. I just got back from China and uhm, I kind of live here. Nice to meet you, Kibum. I’m home.

(An hour later, Haneul was found sleeping on his older brother’s lap with a fluffy pink blanket to keep her warm and her babysitter’s smile to visit her in dreamland.)

At 8:23 AM, Nicole is about to tell Jonghyun of Key and Kris’ friendly dates with Haneul but is cut off when Jonghyun tells her to stop. Jonghyun doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t need to hear it. It’s either he can’t, or he is just not sure if his almost bleeding lips can take it. Something, there is definitely something inside he feels is new. A foreign entity and he already thinks he hates it.

So at 8:24 AM, they proceed to talking about that night.

Jealousy, Jonghyun finally understands what it is. He almost yells it just to have Nicole stop her words of Kris taking his best friend’s hand as the taller guy pulls him to dance like it’s the most normal thing to do. And maybe it is, for them. Maybe they have done it one too many times that it comes off as natural as anything else is. Maybe Key has wrapped those skinny arms around Kris’ neck for one, two, three, or maybe more than ten times that it doesn’t bother him, doesn’t bother Kris.

Jonghyun drowns in this new emotion as Nicole goes on with telling him about the times she heard the word beautiful and lovely from Kris’ mouth and the times she had to bite a giggle when Key tries to brush the embarrassment off. She tells Jonghyun that maybe it was destiny that Kris was at the party; that Jessica knew the tall guy from somewhere else. And that maybe it really was fate playing a trick on them because Jonghyun chose that time to take Yoona out for a ride and totally forget about Key. Maybe it was pure coincidence, maybe it wasn’t. Or maybe Jonghyun was just bad at deciding.

Because as Nicole says to him: No one waits forever. Not even your best friend.

An unrequited love is the hardest, Nicole breathes out. Key had to chase after Jonghyun for a very long time and really, it can get tiring. He loves him, he loves her, and one always ends up getting hurt. It’s never the other way around. Key knew right from the beginning that it was a losing battle; that it was something his long fingers could never grasp. When Nicole tells Jonghyun that Kris is nothing but a comfortable friend, he isn’t quite sure whether to jump in joy or sulk in anxiety because there is still that tiny chance that tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, everything would change.

8:47 AM finds Jonghyun with eyes shut close, hands balled to fists, and jaw clenched. Nicole tells it to him – Key has decided to let his feelings go. The contract is purely business now.

“Just like what you told Key: No heartaches, no tears, nothing.” Nothing. Because Key also has his own principles, in which one of them says, ‘Everyone has their own happy ending’.

Day fifty-one is a snowy Christmas, today.

Jonghyun sits uncomfortably in a fancy restaurant, dressed in his classy white polo and fitting slacks paired with his shined black shoes. There’s a pianist playing somewhere in the background and there are families (such as them) clinking wine glasses for a good-hearted cheers. His parents are smiling at him in the most awkward way because, honestly, they haven’t really been around that much to tell the difference between their son having fun and their son having the most boring evening in his eighteen years of life.

They share a light conversation, but Jonghyun doesn’t think any of it is relevant. He thinks they’re all bull, to be honest. Who the hell talks about business and career on Christmas Eve? Well, yeah, his parents do.

Christmas doesn’t feel warm. Not without his best friend and his dimpled smile. It’s just not the same. So he excuses himself for a while, having the excuse of going to the comfort room but not really. He takes quick, wide strides to where his black car is parked (he didn’t feel like riding with his parents, not tonight) and just leaned against the hood. It’s getting dark and eerie and his breath is drawing white smoky patterns around his face. The snow is getting on his shoes, but he doesn’t care.

It’s too cold and the lack of stars is doing him no good. He realizes he doesn’t have a hand to hold, a skin to touch, a shoulder to bite. He tries to think of smiles, pretty smiles, and then. Then he no longer sees two. The image forms itself in his mind – long lashes, slanted eyes, heart-shaped lips, button-like nose, high cheekbones, and pale skin. The image is formed with curly blonde hair and Jonghyun is sure it’s him and not her.

And even though his hands aren’t shaped like a candle, his front isn’t stuffed with padded bras, his hair doesn’t reach his shoulders, his clothes aren’t appealing dresses, and his feet aren’t at all small, Jonghyun still smiles. Jonghyun still thinks it’s great to finally understand; to accept that Key is Key, and Yoona is Yoona, and that Yoona is the prettiest, but not in his eyes. Because he finally understands that the heart chooses when the eyes cannot. Because he finally gets it; that Kim Kibum is in there, in his heart, locked up at the very far corner and hiding for the longest time. Jonghyun still thinks Key should have knocked and then maybe Jonghyun wouldn’t have to go through all this.

Then Jonghyun could have, would have, should have had Key in his arms right now and Christmas would still be Christmas.

Jonghyun thinks he’s ready. He thinks he is now ready to open Key’s Christmas gift.

“…In time.”

A/N: Well, this is unexpected (for me, at least). I expected this update to come earlier, like, before or on Christmas. BUT of course Christmas has something else planned. LOL. This is the longest chapter so far with 6,350 words. I hope it didn't bore you to death. I wanted to continue but then the chapter itself would be longer than most one-shots out there and we all will get tired. So, I cut it for the next chapter. :P

Anyway, this is the only chapter that will contain a somewhat view of Key's thoughts so, yeah. :))

Before I end this note, I'll share with you my funny conversation with my friend who is now living in Singapore (he's a guy btw, and a fan of Jessica):

Me: Hey! I'm going there this Summer!
Him: Really, Ate*? Why?
Me: Yes, really! Because I'm bored with my life. Is the ticket costly when it's Summer?
Him: No, Ate. Christmas is the most expensive season to buy tickets! :D
Me: Alright. Then I think it's a good time. I need to see why SHINee always have their concerts there.
Him: Oh! I almost forgot you're a Shawol! Ate, I have a story to tell!
Me: Spill!
Him: Remember I told you that I went to SM Town Concert, right?
Me: Yes, yes. You didn't take pictures of Key like I asked you to, how can I forget. -_-
Him: Sorry, okay? I was enjoying the concert too much. :)) Anyway, I rode the train there and there were fan girls in the train as well. They have with them a huge, huge banner for Onew. It's actually a common thing here now to see teenagers with large streamers whenever a concert is scheduled.
Me: O_O You don't see that here in the Philippines. You don't see people walking around with banners of Ogie Alcasid*.
Him: Haha! I know, Ate! Anyway, here's the thing. A business man boarded the train and accidentally bumped into the girls. The banner was ripped because the man tripped through them.
Me: ...This means war.
Him: EXACTLY! They wailed and cried, Ate! It was embarrassing! I hate Shawols now.
Me: I. AM. ONE.
Him: Oh... Hehe. Plus, when SHINee held a mini event here with other Mandarin artists, the fan girls left as soon as they were done with their performance. The Mandarin Artists looked pitiful, I tell you. SHINee is a monster and Shawols are cruel.
Me: They are not and we are not!
Him: Oh well. Jessica is still pretty.
Me: Key is prettier.

*Ate - older sister
*Ogie Alcasid - A Filipino singer-songwriter, actor, and comedian.