The city lights were gleaming outside. Kids were holding their parents hands as they crossed the busy road. Noisy cars beeped and revved their engines eager to get home from the busy nightlife. You turned away from the window sighing to yourself and felt your head plump into the soft cushion. During the day you imitated false laughter and happiness but at midnight the loneliness caught up, you always seem to flick back to the memories of the one you left behind. The one that gave you more happiness than you could take. The one that showered more memories than you could contain. The one person that could breathe love with just a simple smile. That angelic smile… to this day was the reason of your incomplete life…

 

Back in Seoul

 

It was a beautiful day and the Sun was out warming the city. As usual you began your routine, waking up in the morning, showering longer than necessary, leaving the house only to be late and heading to your favourite café in the world. It was your favourite because you could make your own breakfast there!

After discovering the café which was situated not too far from your apartment, you fell in love with it instantly. Offcourse the idea at first seemed absurd but known for you’re quirky taste you couldn’t believe there was a café where you could cook your own breakfast.

The great part was that no one bothered you and everyone went about their own business. During the first days you started here the business was at its peak around 8 am, so you decided to come in at 7am everyday. Passing the red painted tables you treaded over to the kitchen area in the corner that was adorned with purple wallpaper on the cupboards, followed by a bright yellow fridge, and a stainless steel microwave.  The kitchen bench top was made of black yet shiny granite with a toaster and a fruit basket on the left. The stove was placed in the far corner behind the bench top with another small cupboard painted in turquoise blue underneath. The kitchen always felt so lively to a boring person like you.

Being out of the ordinary yet reserved, the idea of enjoying life with only you and not needing to depend on anyone else was comforting, that way you didn’t feel burdened. No friends, no family, only acquaintances and you preferred to keep it that way. Growing up your odd self got the better of you and saw the world through a different light.

The lady at the counter smiled at her loyal customer and you beamed back. You plugged on your earphones just to make sure you wouldn’t be bothered and rocked to music. While making your breakfast six handsome men happened to walk in gaping in wonder at the unusual café. Heads turned to see the spectacular sight and the cashier squealed at the sight of having more customers. The six boys took a seat at a table in front of the bench top and continued to look around in wonder as the waitress attended them. They noticed Suho who was looking at you.

“Suho hyung! Who are you looking at?” asked Sehun even though they all knew.

The rest snickered when they saw a hint of embarrassment wash Suho's face.

“She’s pretty” said Baekhyun. The rest agreed nodding and smiling.

“I wonder if she knows who we are?” asked Kai.
“I’m sure she does, our debut is still pretty popular” remarked Chanyeol.
D.O agreed with wide eyes and sniggered at the look of Suho’s marvelled face.
He was staring again with a slight grin, completely awestruck. He had never seen such a beautiful woman in his life. His ears turned pink realising he was smiling because of your actions. How you accidentally spilled some milk over and rushed way to get napkins.

Suho turned away immediatley to discover the boys grinning at him with a “you-like-her-don’t-you” look. Kai’s face said, “Don’t-even-try-to-deny-it-because-its-pretty-obvious.” Suho rolled his eyes and sat down with the boys.

Seeing Suho’s eyes twinkle on you Sehun decided to do a favour to their leader.

“I’m going to go talk to her” Sehun announced abruptly. All eyes turned with confusion.

Suho’s eyes had turned wide, “W-What? Why?”

“Coz I want to” replied Sehun bluntly.

“But Manager hyung will see!” said Chanyeol.

“Yeah you don’t want to get into trouble” said Baekhyun.

“He always does though” Kai laughed.

Sehun’s face was beyond annoyed, he only rolled his eyes seeing that his hyungs had failed to realise his effort to help out in Suho’s love life.

You were oblivious to six pairs of eyes watching with anticipation while you swayed to the cheesy music. You had just put your bowl into the microwave to heat up when a cute boy snuck behind you.

“Anyeonghaseyo!” said Sehun brightly.

You continued to wait for your food whilst tapping your foot lightly in rhythm of the music. Sehun stood behind wondering why you hadn't turned around. He shuffled his feet around awkwardly but didn’t dare look back to his table. While the microwave continued to heat you moved towards the bench top to put away the milk back into the yellow fridge not noticing the tall figure behind you.

The rest of the boys immediately burst into laughter at the sight of Sehun getting rejected. Suho smirked at your peculiar behaviour.

You spun a little as you made your way back to the bench top to put away more things you used. Suho noticed a wire hanging from your ear. His lips rounded into a circle immediately as he realised. He walked up to you bravely now seeing what the problem had been. Baekhyun and Chanyeol gasped and held each other back, while Kai and D.O watched the show in amazement of their leader’s courage.

You felt a soft tap on your shoulder. Feeling alone in this world you jumped and turned around surprised. Your bangs fell on your face and the sunlight added the extra glow to your milky skin leaving Suho paralysed. He felt as if you could grow wings any second and reveal the halo on top of your head. 
You saw him shake his head as if throwing away a thought and a smile appeared. Your music that you were listening to magically faded out as you took notice of the handsome face.  The guy in front of you smiled so widely you thought he might as well tear up. You saw his lips move and abruptly yanked your earphones out.

“Annyeonghaseyo” Suho repeated again flashing his white teeth.

“O-oh uhh annyeong?” you said confused.
You looked around to see if anyone else was watching the scene. You caught site of a cute face beaming behind Suho and your head tilted sideways to see the figure.

Suho turned around to see what you were looking at with an eyebrow raised. He saw it was Sehun who made his way towards you.

“Annyeong!” Sehun greeted a bit too enthusiastically.  
You just stared back expressionless and looked around awkwardly. Greeting him back hadn’t even crossed your mind. Luckily the microwave beeped loudly just in time and you rushed off glad to get away from the awkward encounter. You noticed the two were still standing there but had turned to face you. You could see their reflection through the microwave door as you shut it. Surprise and confusion at once plastered their perfect faces. But you couldn’t care less after all you weren’t interested in meeting anyone new. You walked back to the bench top placing the bowl on the granite.

“What’s your name?” asked Sehun.

“Why do you want to know?” you said coldly.

Sehun inched his head back in confusion and gave up pouting. He walked back to his table to the other bunch of guys. They were all staring at you and suddenly turned away seeing Sehun sit down. You furrowed your eyebrows at the weird bunch and noticed the guy with the handsome smile still standing behind you.

“My name is Suho” he smiled.

You were not expecting an introduction after you icily waved the other guy away. Suho was still smiling but this time his teeth weren’t showing.
Slightly feeling bad you replied, “Okay.”
 You honestly didn’t know what to say and that was the best you could come up with.

“Uhh please tell me your name so I can refer to you in my speech” asked Suho with confidence radiating brightly.

“Huh? What speech?” you asked confounded.

“I meant when I talk I can use your name if I want too” explained Suho still smiling.

Lost in thought you wondered if this guy would ever stop smiling.

“Sorry no” You replied sternly.

Suho’s face had dropped immediately, he didn’t think you were this contemptuous and he was surprised again. You smirked satisfied you had gotten him to stop smiling and walked away with your food. You felt people’s eyes on you glint with envy.

‘That’s EXO-K’

‘Wow they are so handsome’

‘I wonder how Lee Soo Man finds these boys’

‘They must be really talented to be under S.M Entertainment’

For a fact you definitely knew who Lee Soo Man was and S.M Entertainment, that place had an undeniable reputation. Everyone seemed to talk about it especially at your part-time job, teaching dance to teenagers in high school who hired you mainly so they could win dance competitions. Once you had even gotten lucky and taught trainees at Woollim Entertainment for about a week. That time you were paid a lot and you were very happy.

It dawned on you that the boys eating across the room from you were idols. You rolled your eyes and sighed in disappointment. You weren’t fond of idols because you just simply weren’t, it wasn’t something you took particular interest in. You only liked jazz music so kpop wasn’t your style. The only time you had ever listened to kpop was when high school dance teams asked you to teach them “Sorry Sorry” or “Mister.”

Realising you were going to be late to university, you rushed out of the café, feeling a pair of eyes follow you.

 

---------

 

The next morning you were at the café again at the same usual time. It was a normal day but unusually chilly. You’re neck was wrapped in your favourite pucca scarf. You decided to eat ramen today and grew excited just at the thought. You could almost feel the hot steam in your face. You opened the café’s kitchen cupboard eagerly and began preparing.

Behind you Exo-K had returned and it looked like they were going to be regular customers. The rush in the café wasn’t much because of the temperature being close to 5 degrees. Nevertheless Exo-K hadn’t had time to eat breakfast so they stopped at the café again like yesterday. Suho saw you at the counter swaying in rhythm. He figured you had your earphones plugged in again. For some reason you had really intrigued him even though he was disappointed at your attitude. Something inside him had told him that he shouldn’t give up.

You saw someone next to you dressed in a white t shirt. He placed the pot next to yours on the stove and said something to you while smiling. He gently reached his hand towards your long hair and pulled on the wire.

“Ow!” you yelled.

Suho chuckled to himself and smiled widely seeing your annoyed expression. You rubbed your ear with deeply furrowed eyebrows. You couldn't believe he was here again.

“I asked if you can pass the knife” said Suho nicely.

“Oh here you go Suho” you passed the knife over and suddenly realised you said his name.

You froze immediately realising you had remembered his name considering it was always hard to memorise people’s names. You swallowed a lump at the awkward atmosphere.
Suho was also shocked after hearing his name and blushed slightly, but before you could see he had already turned away.

“I didn’t catch your name before” Suho smirked obviously teasing but you knew it all too well.

“Well I didn’t exactly throw it” you remarked. 
You rolled your eyes and stirred the noodles in the pot angrily.

Suho chuckled nervously, “Well when are you planning to?”

“Why would I want too?” you scorned.

“Because you want to be my friend” replied Suho trying to lighten the atmosphere.

“W-What?! Why would I want to be your friend! I don’t even know you” you snapped.

“You do know me I’m Suho” he winked. 

Your eyes widened at the jerk mocking you.Running away with your hot bowl of ramen you sat down at a table. Sniffing the delicious smell you dug in happily. You looked up slowly and the first thing you caught sight of was a familiar smile. Scaring you almost as if his smile was part of a horror movie you jumped with wide eyes and clutched your chest. The chopsticks clattered noisily onto the ground. You were shocked so badly you thought your heart was going to explode. You started to rub your chest soothing your heart so it would calm down. Suho chortled at your reaction then his eyes glanced at your hand and followed to your chest. His erted thoughts got the better of him and quickly turned away.

“What are you doing here?” you demanded.

 

“Whoa what’s with the attitude I just wanted to sit with you” Suho was holding his hands up in defence.

“I do not have an attitude and you can’t sit with me” you said coldly.

This just made Suho chuckle because it was cute to see your annoyed expression. You shooed him off and returned to your breakfast. A second later you felt a tap on your shoulder and you turned around nonchalantly. Suho’s smiling teeth was behind you as you became startled again and placed your hand over your chest. Suho avoided looking there this time.

“May I take a seat here?” pleaded Suho with puppy eyes.
Your eyebrows furrowed deeply but his eyes were so adorable you found that you couldn’t refuse.

“As long as you stop giving me heart attacks” you said bluntly, promising yourself you wouldn’t talk to him. 

Suho grinned and sat down happily.He tried to make conversation with you but you wouldn’t budge. You hadn’t made new friends since high school so you were oblivious to his hints to get you to talk. You slurped away noodles down your throat while listening through one ear and throwing his words out the other.

“Do you know who we are?” asked Suho leaning in curiously. 
You nodded away while you concentrated on your delicious ramen.

“Either you really enjoy ramen or you’re listening to music but I don’t see earphones plugged in, or your not actually listening, are you?” asked Suho mischievously.

“Huh?” you said heedlessly.

“I knew it!” exclaimed Suho as if he had won the jackpot.

“NO noo I really love ramen” you lied trying to sound convincing. 
You felt embarrassed all of a sudden that he caught you but luckily you had heard what he said first. 

“Oh really well I’m a singer in the boy band EXO-K”

“Oh you’re an idol” you decided to talk this time feeling pity for him. 
He was an idol that most likely barely met any girls so you felt sorry for him.

“You don’t like them?” Suho noticed the sour expression in your voice.

“Not really but mostly I feel sorry for them”

“Why would you feel sorry for them? Most people want to be loved but my motto is to love, Saranghaja!” he pumped his fist into the air with a dedicated smile.

“Oh well good for you at least you won’t be those celebrities that live off the love and attention they get” you said sarcastically.

“No I won’t be” stated Suho seriously with a smile.
You felt a hint of sadness in his voice but shrugged it away.

 

-----

 

It was Thursday already but you didn’t feel like going to the café today. You were getting annoyed at the fact that every morning Exo-K would be there, most of the time they watched you and Suho interact. Suho would always try to get your attention while you showing obvious pity would reply when necessary. Exo-K felt sorry for their leader but they wouldn’t stop him, they couldn’t it wouldn’t feel good if they made their leader sad.

On the inside Suho knew he looked very desperate but he couldn’t help it. He loved being around you even though you hardly said much. Fortunately you knew just what to say whether you were intentionally being inconsiderate or not. He had never had someone be so honest to him. During his trainee days many people had lied saying ‘you will debut this year’ and etc. But after seven years he was happy to hear someone speak the truth without fear.

You were walking around Dongdaemun Market aimlessly looking around to see if anything would interest you. This place wasn’t crowded much so you figured most people were shopping at Myeongdong. You didn’t mind enjoying the peace and quiet as the sun shone down on you. You saw a bunch of crazy hats capture your attention and marched in.

Six boys happened to be at the Dongdaemun Market as well. Finishing practise early they decided to look around at the new season trend. They entered the same stall you happened to be inside, after Sehun wouldn’t stop bugging Suho to take him. They laughed at the crazy hats and poked around while Baekhyun attempted to try on all the hats. Kai caught sight of a y figure dressed in a grey woolly coat, with black stockings and leather boots. He nudged Suho who looked back bewildered at the boys acting like kids. Kai indicated with his eyes and had a mischievous grin plastered on his face. Suho looked at the figure then looked back at Kai and then rolled his eyes. Kai abruptly grabbed Suho’s arm and led him over to the girl.

“W-What are you doing?” asked Suho annoyed already. Kai smirked evilly and quickly shoved Suho into the girl.

You spun around fast to see the jerk that crashed into you and saw it was none other than the smiling creep. That’s what you called him in your head.

“Oh Hyerin I-I’m so sorry” said Suho obviously flabbergasted to discover who Kai had pushed him into. 
He wondered if Kai had already known that it was you. He rubbed his hand behind his neck and felt his cheeks redden slightly.

“If you wanted to say hi you didn’t have to bump into me” you replied bluntly.

“O-Oh I uhh didn’t know you were going to be in Dongdaemun” said Suho still shocked.

“Ditto” you stated annoyed that he was here along with the rest.

“So what brings you here?” interrupted Kai.

“I work around here so yeah” you replied.

“What do you work?” asked Suho taking this as a chance to get to know you better.

“I uhh teach dance to kids” you replied coolly.

“R-really? Woow I didn’t think you were a dancer” interrupted Kai again. Exo K had already gathered and was equally surprised with wide eyes.

You looked around uncomfortably and noticed a group of girls sending daggers towards you. Suho noticed your furrowed eyebrows and turned around. He saw fans were giving mental death threats to you. He didn’t like the sound of it and did not want to anticipate the end. A swarm of girls were already crowding around the stall.  The rest of Exo K had already realised the situation and thought about how to get you of this situation. Even though you weren’t particularly nice to them or Suho in fact they didn’t want you to suffer because of crazy fans. Suho smiled gently down at you and took your arm.

“Coordi Noona”, said Suho as loud as possible, “We’re going back to our dorm right?” he asked you nicely but his eyes demanded you to comply.

You were surprised that his tone hadn’t matched the look on his face but quickly understood and replied loudly, 

“Yes let’s go back and have some lunch.”
You wondered if the last part was necessary but thankfully it got you out of the near mess. You were just glad to have been out of the awful atmosphere.
Needing a place to run away your brain had come up with a brilliant idea. You led them to the dance studio you worked at nearby.

“Why did you bump into me so harshly?” you asked Suho curiously as the seven of you arrived.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean too I slipped” Suho bowed apologetically feeling his cheeks grow hot. 
You smiled inwardly; you had to admit it was cute when Suho blushed so obviously.

When you entered the six boys gaped at the amount of mirrors on each side of the room except for the entrance. It was like a maze of full lenght mirrors. The floor was polished with copper wood and orange light illuminated the otherwise dark studio.

You suddenly realised that it was going to get awkward. You hated how they were at your dance studio now and you were going to have to talk to them. You regretted your decision to bring them here.

Kai walked over to the music player and slipped his iPod into the dock. He immediately started to dance. You were surprised that he just started to play music without asking your permission. You grunted in annoyance and was about to turn the music off when you got distracted by an elegant twirl.

You stopped to admire the twirl that was so passionate, followed by hand movements and gestures that were so sleek, as Kai swayed lazily to the music. You realised he wasn’t even dancing full heartedly but it was so perfect. Your jaw was wide open by now and Exo-K laughed at your expression while Suho felt a tinge of jealousy.

“That’s how my face was when I saw Kai dance the first time”, said D.O laughing.

“No it was more like”, Sehun pulled an even more ridiculous face stretching the skin around his eyes. You laughed lightly and Suho’s expression softened, he hadn’t expected your laugh to be so beautiful let alone your smile.

Finally realising that Suho and Exo-K had saved you from the terrible fate of fan girls, guilt suddenly washed over your face as you were reminded at how you had treated them before, especially Suho.

“Uhh so are you guys going to stay here?” you asked awkwardly.
Suho chuckled to himself as he realised you were attempting to make conversation. Even though you never did with him it was amusing to see you try.

“If you let us”, suggested Suho brightly.

“Don’t you guys have anything to do, you’re idols aren’t you I thought idols were busy people”, you replied expressionless.

“Not always”, said Suho giving you an eye smile.

You blinked at the fact that Suho was smiling again, on the inside it was very annoying.

“Well then my students don’t come in until afternoon so I guess you guys can stay” you said casually. Exo K let out a cheer and you couldn’t help but chuckle at them.

“Hey let’s practise MAMA again”, said Chanyeol clapping.

“Ohh come on! We just practised that and I’m tired anyways” said D.O annoyed.

“What’s MAMA?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh it’s our debut title song MAMA which is about the worries concerning the society of the 21^st century in which no one communicates and everyone is locked because of digital equipments such as cellphones or computers. So humans ask their god, Mother Earth, how they’re supposed to live” said Suho confidently.

“Ohh wow..cool” you replied sarcastically. You hadn’t expected him to give you a full on explanation and regretted even asking.

“He was actually practising that since our leader has to say that in interviews” Kai chuckled.

“Oh” you laughed. 
Suho laughed too and apologized but thanked you for asking because he had finally memorized it. You smiled back appreciatively seeing he was a hard worker.

You set down your bag and pulled of your coat revealing your dancing clothes. You were dressed in a black long wife beater and white shorts with fishnet tights. Exo K tried not to stare while Kai examined you openly. Suho saw Kai’s eyes scan you and grew angry. He didn’t know why and he felt stupid in his mind but his heart wanted to shield you from everyone.

“Would you like to learn the dance MAMA? Its really neat” offered Kai extending his hand towards you.

“Yeah Suho can teach you!” called out Baekhyun. 
Everyone laughed except for you who looked at them confused.

“I’m not much of a great dancer and I can’t teach very well” explained Suho shyly.

“Oh I’m sure you’re not that bad after all you are an idol” you smiled encouragingly. 
Suho blushed and could see you enjoying their presence as the rest of Exo-K lightened up the atmosphere.

After watching Kai perform the dance effortlessly you wondered how on earth you would learn the dance as Suho attempted to teach you. Luckily you were fast at picking up dance moves and the moves came naturally to you. Whilst teaching MAMA you had fallen in love with the song. It surprised you because you didn’t really enjoy kpop but then you realised this wasn’t the typical kpop song you would have expected.

You had a lot of fun as the rest of Exo K marvelled at your dancing skills telling you that you were born to dance. You couldn’t help but beam back and felt good being around these boys. Suho complimented you saying you were the female version of Kai and you blushed lightly. You heart warmed up and you noticed this but surprisingly you didn’t become troubled by it at all. You missed this feeling and happiness they gave you, especially Suho.

When Exo K asked you to perform a dance for them you agreed happily. Being a confident dancer you weren’t afraid of eyes gaping at you.

“What are you going to perform Hyerin noona?” asked Sehun cutely.

“I think I might just perform the dance I am currently teaching my students, they were bugging me so much about this song and the dance moves so I had to finish learning it” you pouted. 
Exo K chuckled at your cuteness.

“What song is it?” asked Baekhyun.

“The boys by So Nyo Shi Da” you replied rolling your eyes. You saw Baekhyun smile widely and instantly knew he was a fan.

The music began to play and you started off with the intro. You had always danced to songs like you owned the floor while flashing y stares as you swayed your hips. Exo-K was mesmerized by your performance, completely hooked into your charismatic aura.
 From the outside you looked like a cold heartless person but seeing you perform made Suho realise you were filled with so much life and he loved this passionate side of you. He figured there was a reason behind your first impression.

Exo-K clapped and cheered when you finished. You smiled brightly and they demanded you to dance to another song. Seeing they wouldn’t take no for an answer you performed your own version of Be My Baby by Wonder Girls.
 Suho would have been happy watching you dance all day long, his eyes twinkled and he felt infatuated with you. You were absolutely amazing in his eyes and he found the reason why he was captured by you from the moment he met you.

 

------

 

You sighed to yourself remembering the memories you left behind. You slipped underneath your blanket and wrapped yourself protectively. Your eyes stared up blankly, posters of Japanese actors were spread out across the ceiling. You could feel the pounding of music above. You sighed letting your eyes close and drifted off into dreamland.

“Why are you so cold up front? I can see this is not the real you”
“I guess what you see now is the result of life” you replied.
“Why have you let this happen to you, Hyerin you must be hurting so much inside”
“I used to but not anymore I am happy with myself”
“You won’t be happy with yourself forever”
“Well forever isn’t here yet”

 

You woke up panting; there he was invading your dreams reminding you once again how happy you were without him. You chuckled at your own stupidity.

 

---

 

Two weeks had passed and you and Suho had progressed so much. You realised you had a lot of things in common and wished you were nicer to him from the beginning. You took your cellphone out and texted Suho.

Anyeong Suho oppa :-)

I’ll see you soon right? Keke ^^

You smiled as you put your cellphone back into your leather jacket and walked down to the café. Sadly the sky was grey, you always hated days like this and felt your excitement drop down. The wind blew roughly and there was a loud rumble. Startled you rushed into the café just in time before rain started to pour. You searched the café eagerly for your six friends. Your lips curved upside down when you saw they hadn’t arrived yet. They were probably late so you started cooking your breakfast. Today you settled down for coco pops and milk knowing chocolate always made you feel good on a day like this.

As you ate, you impatiently waited for Exo-K to arrive. You wanted to see Suho again and wanted him to cheer you up with that beautiful smile he always wears. It wasn’t creepy anymore but heartening to you. You liked how he made you feel special and always ran after you when you left something behind at the café.  

Some people were giving you weird stares as you laughed silently to yourself. Snapping back into reality your smile faded seeing Exo K had still no arrived yet, you took out your phone and saw the time 7:20am. There was still ten minutes to spare before you had to leave and catch the train.  You decided to fix yourself a quick hot chocolate to brighten your glum mood.
With each sip you took you felt more and more nervous. You couldn’t help but wonder if Suho was going to see you today. You grabbed your phone again nearly dropping it and checked the time 7:28am. The train would leave soon and you grew anxious. It was just one day, you were sure to see them tomorrow and you could count on Suho knowing he would text you with a valid excuse.

You walked slowly out of the café lingering your footsteps hoping Suho in particular would arrive through the door all wet but wearing his adorable smile and apologizing frequently. Stepping into the rain you knew that wasn’t going to happen no matter how much you wished it to be. You didn’t know why you were feeling so sad about it. You became sulky as you realised that your friend, who obviously meant something more than that and you knew it deep down inside, would not see you and laugh and comfort each other like every morning.

Throughout the day you became fidgety always checking your cell phone to see if Suho had replied to your text message. You knew you were being inconsiderate knowing he was a busy person. You also knew that you shouldn’t rely so heavily on a singer because they hardly had time for friends outside their celebrity life. You felt a deep sensation flood your heart as you realised this was the reason why you never made friends in the first place. Your heart felt heavy and your brain mocked you.

After a few years you managed and started enjoying being with yourself until Suho came along. You thought he was different and you foolishly thought he would always be there for you, but today had proved you wrong. Feeling like a desperate idiot you sighed and let a tear drop as your past threatened to spill over your mind and leave you motionless. 

You finally came to accept the fact that you might not see them around much. Maybe tomorrow you would see him but maybe not the next day.

 

-----

 

Entering the café in the morning you walked in with a huge smile. You turned your head right to the large red table. You expected to feel brightened and happy but instead you felt your heart squeeze inside. Exo-K was no where to be seen within the café. There was a few other people sitting on their table and you didn’t like the idea of them already being replaced. You had expected to see them today but luckily there was still tomorrow.

 

-----

 

It had already been five days since you hadn’t seen Exo-K yet you felt something incomplete within you. You were going crazy worrying over Suho. Truthfully you missed him so much because you had no one else. He was the source to your happiness and now you felt lonely like a river without water.  
You started to hate your cellphone always checking it, thinking it had vibrated or rung, so this time you left it at your apartment.

The sun was completely out today after playing hide and seek for the last few days. You entered the café and your red heels clanked on the floor. You hadn’t even bothered to look for Exo-K knowing they wouldn’t be sitting at their table. You turned around walking to the stove and got cooking. Behind you six familiar boys trudged inside looking weary. Suho looked around worriedly for you and caught you cooking with your back faced against them. A smile spread over his face immediately and walked over to you.

You felt a familiar hand press gently on your shoulder. Turning around you were shocked but this time a huge smile burst on your face and you fought the urge to hug him.
You both stared at each other for a while trying to contain your feelings.

“Hyerin annyeong!” Suho bowed.

“Suho ssi annyeong!” you greeted brightly. Suddenly you remembered how upset you were over the past few days and your smile disappeared.

Suho read your mind and apologized,
“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get in contact with you our cellphones have been taken away.”

Your eyebrows lifted in surprise,” Oh really I didn’t know”, you were relieved to find out Suho didn’t ignore you purposely.

“Yeah you look upset?” asked Suho curiously.

“Oh no it’s nothing” you chuckled nervously.

“Please tell me what’s wrong?”

“Like I said it’s nothing”

“Hyerin-ah.. Tell me” he placed both his hands on your shoulder and stared into your eyes.
You swallowed a lump desperately wanting to spill out your feelings. You looked up to meet his heart warming eyes and encouraging smile.

“I-I missed you” you confessed.

“I’ve missed you too” Suho’s smile stretched further.

“R-really?” you bit your lip.

“Yes”, Suho smiled, 

“but… Don’t rely on me too much I would love to see you everyday but it’s not easy”

“Yeah I can see that.”

----

 

The next few months you always saw Exo-K at the café, despite thinking they’re would be days where you wouldn’t see them.

Everyday at the café you saw the six boys sitting and chatting happily while waiting for you to arrive. As soon as you would enter Suho would jump up, rush over and drag you to their table. You would laugh every time feeling as if you belonged with them.

You were a noisy eater and sometimes Suho would quieten everyone down until they could hear you munch away. You would become embarrassed and slap him playfully.

You felt your life change ever since the arrival of the smiling angel. You had never imagined in your life you would ever watch music performances on tv. Every Saturday and Sunday afternoon you watched Exo-K perform. Suho made you do things you never imagined of. Just the thought of him made you smile, every morning you looked forward to meeting him, and every night you slept with a smile on your face.

It was morning already and the sun hurt your eyes. Now when you thought of Suho your heart sunk and you would sigh. You couldn’t even smile anymore because it hurt you too much. Your unconfessed love still lingers. You wished you could see him one last time. But even after a thousand wishes your boat of hope sunk deeper.

 

---

 

At the café again Suho took your hand and led you away from Exo-K.

“Teach me how to cook ramen”

“You already know how to”

“I don’t that’s why I’m asking you silly” he flicked your nose.

“Yah! Don’t do that”

While teaching him step by step Suho just stared at you with twinkling eyes. He felt so lucky to be with you.

“If you keep looking at me like that people will think we’re dating and then you will end up all over the news and I will end up as a scandal”

“So what?” his gaze deepened while your heart skipped a beat.
You swallowed a lump and lightly pushed him away.

“Here’s your ramen I hope you learnt well”

“I don’t need to learn Kyungsoo always cooks for everyone”

“What?! Then why did you ask me to teach you?”

“No reason I just wanted to be with you”

You blushed bright red and ran away. Suho laughed as he chased after you.

That day he came unexpectedly to your house and dragged you away. He mentioned that this was the only time he would ever be able to take you out.

“It’s a beautiful night” your eyes gazed up at the stars. You felt two strong arms hug your waist.

“Not as beautiful as you”
Your face tilted towards him and you felt Suho’s breath tickle your cheek. You turned away blushing.

“Hyerin it won’t always be like this but I want you to enjoy this moment”

“I know and I will always enjoy this moment as long as you’re by my side oppa, I promise”

 

You stood in front of the park plastered with Japanese signs. It wasn’t the same park but it was enough to remind you of your first date with him. Your heart felt heavy and you cursed yourself for catching a bus all the way out here when you had a meeting to attend too. Limply you sat on the bench your ice cream. It felt numb on your tongue and you wished your heart would feel numb as well. Tears trickled slowly over your cheek while you held back a sob. You forced yourself to enjoy the chocolate flavoured ice cream but it was no use. Even chocolate couldn’t cheer you up anymore only his smile could.

 

-----

 

After a tiring day you opened your apartment and found a letter underneath your door. Picking it up you wondered with curiosity. You closed the door with your leg and put your bag down by the couch. Still standing you opened the letter carefully.

After finishing reading the letter you looked up in front of you blankly. The letter read that you had earned a job opportunity in Tokyo to work in one of the top dance schools. The school had organized everything for you including a new place to live, food, and even a transfer to another university. After absorbing the news you let out a shriek and jumped with joy. The pay that you would receive was enough to provide for a 5 person family. This was unbelievable for you who didn’t consider dancing a major career. Tears of happiness glided down your supple cheeks. You would be absolutely crazy not to accept this and immediately picked up the phone to let them you know you would happily accept. As you dialled the number your fingers froze.

You thought of Suho and wanted to tell him the amazing news first, but you were way too excited. You put the phone away and decided you were going to calm down first. You thought it would be a better idea to tell Suho face to face.

 

----

 

“Oppa!”

“Hyerin-ah!” He took your hand and pulled you to their table as usual.

“Annyeonghaeseyo Exo-K!”

“Annyeong unnie!” they replied back in chorus. 

You couldn’t help but laugh; you loved how they instantly brightened your morning.

“Oh oppa! I have exciting news to tell you!”

“Oh jinja?! Wait let me get my breakfast and I’ll get yours too”

“Oh right okay I can wait” 
Suho laughed and went away.

You imagined telling him the news and seeing his wide smile. Then a thought crossed your mind. Your heart sunk at the thought of being in Japan whilst he is in Korea. Suddenly you didn’t want to tell him anymore. You momentarily had forgotten he was an idol. You rubbed your temples in disappointment. Going to Japan didn’t feel so exciting anymore.

You walked up to Suho trudging.

“Hey what’s with the expression?” Suho pinched your nose lightly and your lips curved upwards.

“So what was the exciting news you were going to tell me?”

“Uum..”
You felt so nervous that your palms were sweating. You didn’t know if it would be right to tell Suho but then you would have to in the end. There was no point in hiding it because you knew you wanted to go to Japan. But at the thought of leaving Suho made you stop.

“This lady is taking a long time for our breakfast; now tell me what the news is?”

“Oppa,” you looked up to meet his curious eyes,” I got a job offer”

“Ohh really! Wow congratulations”

“Gommawo but the job offer is from Japan”

“Mwo?”

“It’s one of the top dance schools and it’s in Tokyo”, you continued seeing he was silent,” They’ve organized everything for me it’s really helpful.”

“Th-That sounds daebak!” Suho grinned happily.
You smiled appreciatively you didn’t expect him to take the news so well but then you didn’t know what you were expecting.

“So have you already accepted?” Suho asked rubbing his hands together.

“Ani I wanted to tell you first”

“Aigoo!” he pinched your cheeks while you rolled your eyes. “Well are you going to accept?”

You expected this question and you breathed heavily. Swallowing intently you looked down,
“Do you think I should?”

“Ommo! Pabo of course you should, this is such a wonderful opportunity!” Suho was being a bit too enthusiastic suddenly.

“Yes I should, shouldn’t I” you nodded to yourself.

“Yes yes now go home and call them to accept, we have to leave now”

Suho left with the widest grin you had ever seen and it slightly confused you.

 

Pabo! He acted as if he was happy but I should have known he was sad I was going to leave. He knew he couldn’t keep me behind. Even if we only saw each other every morning we knew it wasn’t enough. We knew what was best but not for us..

 

---

 

Before Suho came along you would have been happy to leave Korea with all the painful memories behind but now it was a different story. So different you had yourself choosing between life and love.
That night after accepting the job offer you called Suho.

“Oppa You picked up! Does this mean you got your cellphone back?”

“Annyeong Hyerin-ah! Yeah but only for a short while” Suho sounded so tired.

“Arasso”

“So why did you call?”

“Are you busy?”

“Ani-eyo”

“Okay I just wanted to let you know I accepted the job offer”
There was a long silence.

“Oppa.. are you there?” You heard him clear his throat.

“Oh yeah I’m here and congrats” You could feel a slight disappointment in his voice.

“Are you upset?”

“Aigoo now why would I be upset? I’m happy for you” you could hear a desperation in his voice.

“Won’t you miss me?”

“Aish offcourse I will but that’s not enough to keep you”
You blinked in surprise at his sudden confession finding it hard to reply.

“I-I can stay…”

“No! I mean you should go it would be a great experience for you”

“But..”

“No buts, I will call you regularly if I can”

“It’s okay oppa I know you won’t have time”
You heard him sigh and you gulped.

“Uhh so when is your flight?”

“Next week”

“Okay I have to go now I’ll see you tomorrow then, annyeong Hyerin-ah sleep well and dream of me”

He cut the line off immediately and you sighed.

You could feel your eyes sting suddenly. At first you were happy to receive such an opportunity, you weren’t even a professionally dancer in the first place. But now your feelings had changed you didn’t want to have to choose between the two most impacting things in your life. Wiping away your tears you braced yourself for tomorrow.

 

-----

 

You stepped into the café uneasily after arriving early. It was already cold but you weren’t just shivering because of that. You blasted the music on your earphones to try and forget about your thoughts. It bothered you too much.

If you had ignored him the day you met each other it wouldn’t be so hard. Coming to the café today wouldn’t be so hard. If you had listened to your brain for once your heart wouldn’t be feeling so sad. If only..
But because you met him and let him inside your heart, you had gained so much love and happiness and along the way you realised he would be the one. And that was the reason why it was so hard to leave.
You sighed in frustration, your mind was a mess and you gulped down your coffee angrily.

“If you drink that so fast your tongue’s going to burn,” Suho came from behind and hugged you from behind.

“Mianhe” you apologised.

Suho chuckled and shook his head disapprovingly. You saw Exo-K were busy at they’re own table while Suho had come to sit with you. It was silent for a while. You took a good long look at Suho, you could see his eyes were slightly red around the outskirts, his face was as clear as paper but there was one thing out of place. Without thinking you cupped his face making him blink in surprise.  You gently held his lips on the edges with your slender thumb and lifted them upwards.

“What are you doing?” Suho mumbled.

“I’m trying to get you to smile oppa”

This time he smiled and for sure you thought a tear would drop. You felt the area between you close suddenly. He was leaning in dangerously close. You were too stunned to move not realising what he was about to do. He pushed your bangs and wrapped them around your ear gently. His eyes twinkled holding the intense gaze he hypnotized you with. Smiling in content his head tilted, his lips were a centimetre away before you stopped him.

“I can’t”

“Why?”

You swallowed a lump, you felt guilty that you were leaving him and it was forcing him to do things that were too rushed.

“You don’t feel the same way?”

“I do but don’t force yourself, it’s not right”

You stood up from your seat abruptly and left.

----

 

You purposely didn’t go to the café for the next five days. You didn’t want him to see your puffy eyes and you thought it would make it easier for him to let you go. For the fifth time you cooked in your kitchen, it had become dirty by now and you started scrubbing the dishes. For five days he left you voicemails every morning wanting to see you. You stubbornly wouldn’t pick up not wanting any more memories to hold you back.

“Hyerin-ah please come to the café today. If I could I would come see you but you know my situation.. Anyway please I want to see you please don’t let that day be our last day.”

You held back a sob you didn’t want that day to be your last memory either. It wasn’t a good one but you knew any more would be filled with tears. Feeling helpless you scrubbed even harder at the glass.

 

----

 

It was Friday night, the day of your flight. You had sold most of your things vowing to start a new life in Japan. You were happy to leave your old shabby apartment. You were happy to leave all the memories that caused you hurt for so many years behind. Hearing the door close you let a breath of relief escape you. Putting on your sunglasses you made your way down to the cab waiting for you.

Once the cab began to move your heart began to beat louder and faster. You thought you must have left something behind. But you knew that was impossible because your apartment was empty and besides everything you needed was in your suitcases. You gulped and sighed something you’ve been doing a lot since the past week. You tried not to think of him swallowing another lump of tears down your throat.
Now your stomach began to play around feeling strangely empty. You thought if you should eat to settle your stomach but you didn’t have the appetite. You figured you were nervous because of the plane ride. Believing your obvious lie you tried to smile but it felt wrong, so wrong your legs felt weak as you left the cab. You nearly stumbled over with your suitcases with the chilly wind trying to push you away from the airport.

----

“Can you please be a bit faster”, Suho wasn’t going to play nice anymore.
He was desperate to see you now he didn’t want you to leave without seeing him one last time. He wanted to create one more memory for one last time. His palms were sweating and his heart was beating so loudly he couldn’t hear the traffic outside. Cars lined up along the street as the traffic began moving moderately. Suho could hear him scream on the inside and clenched his teeth. He gripped the seat and cursed the busy traffic.
“Can you please go through this street its faster”

“Sorry I don’t take off routes”

“What! Sir please this is an emergency I can’t afford to take any chances”
The driver gripped the steering wheel.

“Please sir please! I’ll pay double the amount if you take the street”

“Arasso”

Suho sighed in relief and within minutes he had arrived.
He threw whatever money was in his wallet at the driver and rushed out. He ran inside and up the stairs. He skidded nearly falling over when he reached your door. He started banging loudly while taking quick breaths.

“Hyerin! Hyerin-ah open the door!”

*Please don’t tell me she left already*

*Please don’t tell me I’m too late*

He twisted the door knob and saw it was unlocked. He stepped inside almost immediately and looked around. Cobwebs hung from the wall, the kitchen looked spotless and there were no signs of movement.

Suho felt to his knees, he cursed himself for not coming faster. Adding to the regret he didn't even have his cellphone with him. He could taste salty water drip on his lips.

*I didn’t even tell her I love her*

He was sobbing quietly now and suddenly let out a scream of anger. His hands were drenched in tears as he covered his face in shame.

*I was too late…*

 

 

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Omo! Part 1 is done, I promise to post part 2 once I finish with the finishing touches.
Truthfully I started writing this from June and now I'm happy with it well not actually, I probably never will be.

 

Please comment and subscribe if you enjoyed it! Let me know your opinions I'm open to all criticism and advice! 
And let me know what do you think will to happen next? 

 

Will Suho reach Hyerin, or will she go away forever... You'll prob guess it anyways keke

Btw I decided to add Exo-M to the story as well but its no big role 

In part 2 I'll try and include Hyerin's thoughts since it will be mainly based on her side of the story, hope your looking forward to it! :)