001

Soojung taps her fingers on the table restlessly. Her eyes travel to the swarm of people who come in and out of the canteen, trying to meet her eyes with a certain person’s ones. Everyone passes her table, not even try to take quick glance to the seemingly impatient Soojung (it is not like she cares, though). She hates being alone in the crowd of people and not knowing what to do. She gives up and averts her eyes to another side of the canteen.

People occupies every side of the canteen, doing their own things to enjoy their lunch time. People eat their food like there’s no tomorrow. Group of girls chuckles and giggles like a high-school girls, gossiping about something that Soojung doesn’t want to know. People hold their trays, walking along the canteen and trying to find empty seat. But, no one cares to go to Soojung and ask her to sit on the empty seat beside her. No one cares, and so does she.

She sips her black coffee, letting the bitterness goes down to . Somehow, the bitterness calms her nerve yet the emptiness starts flowing throughout her blood. Maybe, this is why she adores black coffee in 25 years of her life. It tastes bitter just like how she describes herself, nothing sweet. And, it is black just like how she is trapped in the darkness and emptiness of her life. She doesn’t like the feeling of being swallowed by the sadness of her life yet she stays living like that. It isn’t because she gives up. It isn’t because she has no choice. Just because it’s better that way, she sticks to it.

Soojung can feel someone whispering her name a little bit too loud, snapping her wandering mind. She turns her head to the right and meet eyes to eyes with the source of that deep yet melodic whisper. She feels her cheeks blush a little, realizing how close the gap between her face and his. But, she quickly puts an annoying expression when she sees his mouth curved upwards, forming an innocent and childish grin.

“Your smile creeps me out, Oh Sehun,” Soojung says while averting her eyes to the bowl of salad on her tray. She grabs the fork and starts jabbing the salad carelessly.

Sehun pouts a little bit and starts eating his lunch. He shoves a spoonful of mashed potato into his mouth and answered, “I thought you would fall for that.”

Soojung chuckles a little bit, but suddenly stops, realizing that she can’t show any indication that she actually falls to that. She stops jabbing the salad and rolling her eyes, “You wish. How many times I told you that everything about you always creeps me out?”

“Yet, you still stick with this creepy guy, right?” Sehun said while munching his potato salad. He glanced at the blushing Soojung who starts jabbing her salad again. He takes it as a yes.

Sehun smiles a bit, remembering how many times Soojung detests him with her rude yet witty remark. She may has the Snow White-like beauty, but she has the Old Witch-like attitude (that is what Sehun always hears from another people who act like they know enough to judge her). But, he still likes having her revolving around his life. She is different in the way she is.

People may judge Soojung fastly but Sehun doesn’t want to, or to be exact, he can’t. A lot of things about Soojung is mysteriously mysterious and indescribable for Sehun until he doesn’t know how to describe her eventhough they have been bestfriends for 9 years. There are a lot of things hidden beneath her strong and rude appearance. She tries to mask herself, trying to show that she doesn’t need anyone but herself, yet Sehun knows.

He knows clearly one thing that Soojung is human, just human.

She is still fragile and weak. She also has vulnerable heart who can easily shatter into pieces. She still needs someone who can glues her heart pieces completely when it is broken. She still needs someone who pats her shoulder lightly and tells her that everything is going to be okay. These are the things which intrigue Sehun to stick with her, to learn more about her, and to protect her.

Sehun nudges Soojung’s waist to irritate her more. She nudges back Sehun at his shoulder, trying to make him fall off of his chair, “Shut up, you childish brat, and—geez, stop munching your food so quickly! You’re going to spit your food on me!”

Sehun laughs at Soojung’s reaction and lightly touches the tip of her nose to irritate her even more. She lets out a forced groan while hitting Sehun’s head lightly. He knows that she tries hard to hide her smile as he can see her lips hitched upwards a little bit.

Just because she is Jung Soojung, he sticks with her.

Just because she is Jung Soojung, he loves her.

001a

Sehun’s high school life was what every student wished they could take away from him. He had almost everything. He had popularity, thanks to his unimpeachable appearance who could make bunch of girls went head over heels for him. He had friends who would follow him wherever he went, thanks to his easy-going personality who could charm every people he met. And, he had money to afford everything, thanks to his father who owned the biggest hospital in South Korea.

Sehun felt like his life was like another fairytale, it was flawless yet it felt so unreal and superficial. He could had everything he wanted, and everyone willed to kneel in front of him if he asked, but he didn’t feel right. He lived in the superficial world where people was too superficial to judge something fastly yet he also acted superficially. He acted like he thought everything was okay. He acted like he was happy. But, in the deepest pits of his heart, he knew that he wasn’t happy. He was tired. He was tired of being an actor in his life, trying to fake everything just to make everyone felt satisfied.

It was until he met her, he knew what he actually wanted in all his life.

Jung Soojung was the contradiction of Oh Sehun. He was the idol while she was the outcast. His life was full of unicorn and rainbow while her life was miserably colourless. He gave out the warm aura who could make people to stay near him while she gave out the cold aura who could make people to stay away from her at once.

Sehun defined her as a flawless walking-dead. She might become the most beautiful girl in his school but her beauty didn’t make her felt somewhat alive. He wondered why her chocolate eyes didn’t show any emotion who could show her humane side. He wondered why she didn’t care about people, acted like the world only revolved around herself. He wondered if there were something hidden beneath her deathly glare and strong figure.

He could only wonder because he didn’t know. And, he was wrong to judge her too fastly.

It was a fine September morning when Sehun caught a Soojung walking upstairs to the rooftop. His curiosity made himself to turn his white converse and followed her direction. She turned the doorknob and made her way into the rooftop. Sehun suddenly flinched and hide himself behind the nearest wall. He heaved a deep sigh when Soojung didn’t notice him.

Sehun walked to the door and eavesdropped to any voice he could hear. He felt like his breath stopped when he heard a girl’s rhythmic sobs which he absolutely sure belonged to Soojung. He felt like his heart was stabbed into pieces when he heard the sobs she muttered desperately. The sobs was desperate enough to make him felt that way. It was sad, it was horrendously sad until he was about to turn the doorknob, and hugged her right away.

But, he didn’t. He covered his face with both of his hands, trying to snap his mind back into the reality. One thing he could realize right away that he judged her too fastly. Eventhough, she had a strong cover masked all over her figure, she was still a fragile and vulnerable girl who needed someone stay beside her. She might seem titanium, but she wasn’t as titanium as he always thought. He felt sorry, he felt awful, he felt… frivolous.

He stopped covering his face and fixated his eyes at the door. He decided one thing that he could do to satisfy himself. He wanted to make her smile. He wanted to make her happy. He wanted to make her to enjoy her life. He wanted to be by her side. The thought about it might seem so naïve yet that was the first time Sehun desired something this big.

He was still afraid to make the first move, but he would try.

***

The next day, Soojung found a box of tissue layed on the floor, right in front of the door to the rooftop. She took it and blinked at it for several times, confused. There was a sticky note sticked on top of the box, saying “You probably will need this.”

She smiled a bit at the sticky note and made her way into the rooftop, the box of tissue in his right hand. She didn’t know that someone was smiling happily behind the wall, trying to record the smile he just saw into the memory of his heart.

002

“You are late again, Sehun,” Soojung sends him a death glare while Sehun just plops himself into the chair in front of her, puts the thray on the table, and acting like he doesn’t care.

He chuckles at Soojung who covers her face with a novel she reads. He took the novel away, just to see her annoyed face, “Give it to me, Sehun. The deadline is tomorrow. Plus, the book , I just want to finish it right away,” Soojung demands. She gets up and bends her body to reach the book in his hand. Sehun gives up and lets her to take the book. He doesn't intend to continue the childish quarrel.

He stares at Soojung blankly, chin on his hands, “Relax, Soojung-ah. You still have 2 days to finish the review of that book, if I’m not wrong. Plus, I remember how you said that you could judge the book was good or not by reading the first sentence.”

She rolls her eyes, “For your information, I am paid to review the book, not to judge it right away. There are lots of aspects that I need to know clearly, and the only way to accomplish that is by reading this from the start until the end. And, you, who knows nothing about my job, just shut up,” She shoots him with explanation that he actually clearly knows. She scribbles on her notebook for while, then she reads the novel again.

Seeing Soojung who already reaches the lowest point of her temper, he tries to break the high tension by apologizing undirectly, “Anyway, I am late for only five minutes. For only five freaking minutes, Jung Soojung. That Luhan gives me piles and piles of works, like seriously. And, writers these days are unbelievable, they keep making errors here and there, giving me serious headache,” instead of apologizing, Sehun blabbers about her tough work as an editor.

Soojung chuckles a little bit, she puts down her book, showing her teasing eyes. Sehun blinks at her, he is completely dazed, “ What?”

She now puts her book on the table, showing the full expression of her face which is fully trying to . A small playful grin is plastered on her face, her eyebrows are hitched upwards, and her eyes shoot him with this “you-know-what-I-mean” look. He still tries to search the meaning of her face, and he suddenly gasps, “Don’t you say— you believe it?”

Soojung now covers , trying not to laugh madly instead she giggles funnily. Sehun stared at him in disbelief, “Geez, Jung Soojung. You freaking believe it?! This is so unlike you, Soojung. How could you believe that nonsense rubbish about—Yuck—“ Sehun acts like he is about to throw up and it makes Soojung to finally lets her laugh. Eventhough, Sehun was clearly in rage, he can’t hide the twinkling feeling when he saw her laugh.

“Mind your manner, Oh Sehun, it’s Luhan-ssi or Luhan-Hyung for you. How can I not believe it? You and Luhan-ssi seem so inseparable, though. You practically can’t stay away from each other for long time, and sometimes, I worry about you, Sehun,” she shots him dramatic look, making him to rampage even more desperately yet Soojung found him even more comical.

Sehun made a face, “Since when you actually care about manner? We practically abhor each other, for heaven’s sake, Jung Soojung. The only thing which pushes me to respect him is because, he, that Luhan, is unfortunately, my boss. My freaking boss!” he tries to emphasize some words to make Soojung clears her mind.

Soojung laughs a little bit louder, “Geez, relax. Next time you tell me to calm my nerve and relax, I will tell you to just say it to the mirror. Look at you now.”

Sehun puts his right hand on his chest and said, “I, Oh Sehun, have the right to tell you the truth behind that nonsense crappy lies. And, I, Oh Sehun, will not let my pride falls down just because that jerk named Luhan,” he says it while rolling his eyes, leaving Soojung laughs again.

”I only hope Luhan-ssi won’t hear those words you said or you will get fired immediately,” Soojung says as she smacks his head lightly with the thick novel that she reads. He only flashes him with childish grin and continues his rant about Luhan. She shows her reaction by smiling or laughing in some parts, feeling herself a little bit loosened up.

As she listens to Sehun’s blabber, she finds her eyes travel to the crowd in the canteen. Her eyes suddenly fixate to a man who calmly sits alone at the table near the window. A book in his left hand, while the other hand scribbling something on his note. He looks way older than her as she can see slight wrinkle on his face and some white hairs which hide sheepishly between his bangs. Despite those things, Soojung can say that he has warm aura embraces him that makes him look young and flawless at the same time. There is something about him that makes her mind says to gaze away, but her eyes does the contrary. She even falls deeper, drowning herself into the his mysteriousity.

The man realizes that someone across the table is looking at him. He looks up and meets eyes with Soojung. He doesn’t know why but he has this urge to pull a smile to her. His lips curves upward a little bit, smiling awkwardly yet sincerely. Soojung quickly gazes away, fixates her eyes back to Sehun.

Both of them don’t know why their hearts beat faster than usual. Both of them don’t know why they feel like they stop breathing for while. Both of them don’t know how eye-contact can change the feeling of their heart instantly. It feels like they can connect themselves by only reflecting themselves from each other’s eyes.

He doesn’t know why her sharp gaze can stabs his heart tenderly.

She doesn’t know why she can fall to the stranger by only gazing through his eyes.

They don’t know if the quick glance can change their lives eternally.

They don’t know, but they will know.

002a

Soojung once said to her Mom about how people these days easily fell for someone. They change their couples like they change their clothes. They said it was love despite their dense understanding about what love truly was. They said love was beautiful yet they said love was painful. Soojung didn’t understand how bipolar could people be when it was about love. How people could lost their mind, and blaming love for everything’s sake.

Her Mom only flashed her a short smile while listening to Soojung and said, “That is how love works, Soojung-ah. You lose yourself, you can’t control yourself, you even have no power over yourself. Love is insanity, full of delusion, full of lies, and full of self-destruction.”

Soojung shuts as she could see the glimpse of sadness floating in her Mom’s eyes. She actually didn’t care yet she tried to understand the hidden meaning behind her words.

There are actually lots of things I want to say..... Well, first, I am so sorry for taking this story so looong ;~~; School has been caging me from writing lol. And, second, I failed again lol. I actually thought this story would end as oneshot and look what I just did... Haha. Well, there is/are still chapter(s) coming until the end, and I hope you guys will bear with me XD And, I hope you still could enjoy this, aaaand comments are soooo freaking loved <333 Thank you for reading and I am so sorry for the grammar fails as English isn't my first language! -hellotheworld-