Bea sat on my bed while I dug around inside my closet.  She was already dressed and ready to go for tonight.  I was having trouble liking anything I picked out, so I was the one taking forever and a day to get dressed this time.  Everything looked wrong or felt wrong or hung in the wrong places.  Everything was just wrong.

            I normally had to beg and bribe Bea to come with me when I wanted to go out, but tonight it was a little difference because I told her Seung Hyun invited me out.  I bribed her with only the fact that ‘the dragon’ would be there.  Whether she admitted it or not, I knew she had a bit of a crush on a certain leader named Kwon Ji Yong.

            I bet though if I had just seriously asked her to pretty please come with me because I didn’t want to be the only girl, she would have come without a fight.

            I told my parents that I’d be sleeping over Bea’s house because I just knew this night would end with me in Seung Hyun’s room.

            “This one?” I asked, coming out of the closet in a silver shimmer tee with black jeans.

            Bea looked up from the magazine she was reading.  She lifted an eyebrow.  “Oh? Trying to seduce a rapper in particular or just everyone in the club tonight?  Looking y, Miss Parker.”

            I knew I could always count on her to tell me the truth.  If I looked good, she’d say it.  If I looked bad, she’d say it.  That’s what friends are for.  So, it wasn’t that I didn’t believe her when I scrunched up my nose and went back into the closet.  I just wasn’t feeling it.

            “What?  What was wrong with that outfit?” she called.

            “Nothing, I guess,” I answered.  I rifled through more shirts.

            “What’s up?  Usually, I’m the one who can’t get ready.”

            I frowned.  Seung Hyun’s up.  It’s always him lately.  My brain is getting foggy with thoughts of him.  Damn it, I’m turning into one of those girls.

            “I don’t know what my problem is,” I muttered.  I stepped out of the closet and flapped my arms out at my sides.  I was in the same outfit.

            “Still looks good,” she said.  Her eyes shadowed with concern.  “You know, we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

            I shrugged.  Dancing was fun.  Hanging out with Bea was fun.  Seung Hyun was…fun.  Why was I being such a whiner all of a sudden?!

            “No, it’s cool.  I must be just in a mood.”  I shook out my arms, trying to release the tension and rid my brain of all those damn feelings.  I posed and pretended to dust a shoulder off.  “I do look pretty good, right?” I asked with mock arrogance.

            Bea rolled her eyes and nodded.  “Smoking.”

            I skipped over and hopped onto the bed, sitting on my legs in front of her.  I yanked the magazine out of her hand and tossed it behind me.  “Bea, that club hasn’t seen such gorgeousness that is us before.”

            She giggled.  “I do look pretty good, I must admit.”

            I nodded enthusiastically.  “Now, let’s go.  Show Ji Yong what you got.”

            “What?!”  Her eyes bugged out of her head.  “No, no…” she laughed nervously. “I don’t actually…”

            But I had already grabbed her arm and raced out of the room.

            I told Seung Hyun we’d meet the guys at the club.  They each had something solo scheduled today and at the dorm, before riding together to the club, would be the first time all day that they’d be in the same place at the same time.

            We could feel the bass from the speakers all the way outside where we waited in line to get in.  Being foreigners, we were never carded anywhere in Seoul.  Why they gave us a free pass was one of life’s great mysteries.  I was in the same weird mood I was in before even long after Bea and I had mingled into the huge mob of bodies on the dance floor.  We’d shown up much earlier in the evening because we wanted some ‘just for fun’ dance time for the two of us before the guys showed up and whisked us away to the upstairs VIP access area.

            We sat at the bar, picking out guys on the dance floor who we thought were getting rejected by their target girls.  We were up to nine when I felt someone run their fingers up the underside of my arm.  I jumped out of my seat and nearly swallowed my tongue.

            “Seung Hyun,” I growled through clenched teeth.  He was standing there in a ll sorts of iness in that white button down shirt and dress pants.  Bea giggled at the pouty look Seung Hyun was giving me.  He smirked and leaned over, his mouth touching my ear.

            “I’ll make it up to you later,” he whispered in his signature husky voice.

            I touched his face, my fingertips on his cheek.  I just bet he would.  I don’t know what made me feel more bizarre.  The fact that he knew he would or the fact that he figured that would make up for everything on the off chance I ever really did get mad at him.

            “Ladies!  Let’s go, there’s a spot for us upstairs!” Ji Yong shouted to be heard over the music.  He and the three other boys came over to us, greeting us with smiles.

            Bea hopped off the stool she’d been sitting on.  The boys led the way to the back of the club where the stairs to lead us to the VIP area would be.  She linked her arm with mine.  “Someone unleashed the dragon,” she giggled.  “Is he always this hyper?”

            “I think so,” I shrugged with a laugh.

            There were much fewer people upstairs than in the main area of the club.  A smaller dance floor held half the people who were upstairs.  The other half was spread out at the tables or the smaller bar off to the side.

            Seung Ri, who insisted he be called that since he shared his real name with the older rapper of the group, grabbed Bea’s hand and dragged her – somewhat unwillingly – to the dance floor.  He spun her in circles and dipped her until she almost fell over.  The others went off to the bar to talk to other artists they knew and to get some drinks.

            A few hours later, the VIP area had cleared out a bit and I was sitting at a half circle red plush couch that surrounded a long table.  Empty bottles and glasses covered most of the surface and Seung Hyun was leaning against me.  His head tucked into the crook of my neck, cheek on my shoulder.  He was drunk, but I didn’t think he’d passed out yet.  We’d danced a little, in between him drinking with some of his friends and band mates.  He was a real lightweight because while his band mates were barely tipsy, Seung Hyun was verging on falling asleep on my shoulder.

            I giggled when Bea waved at me from the dance floor.  She was dancing with Dae Sung.  I kind of liked how they looked together.  Dae Sung was so sweet and quiet, just like Bea.  They’d be a good match together.  Ji Yong was near the bar, talking to a girl I was almost positive was in a girl group.  Young Bae and Seung Ri were sitting at a different table talking to a few other guys.

            And here I sat.  I may as well be talking to myself, I thought bitterly as I glanced down at Seung Hyun’s face.  His body rose and fell as he sighed heavily.

            I leaned back against the couch and carefully adjusted him so that his face was positioned in a more tipped up angle.  “Seung Hyun!” I said harshly.  Nothing.  “Seung Hyun,” I whined.  “If you drool on me, I’m going to be really upset.”  Nothing.

            “You smell nice,” a throaty mumble came a moment later.  I laughed with a roll of my eyes and glanced down at him again.  His eyes were closed, but he was fidgeting.  He finally replaced his head on my shoulder with his face against my neck.

            “Gee, thanks,” I replied looking straight ahead.

            “You always smell nice,” he added sleepily.

            I furrowed my brow.  “Thanks.”  He sounded sincere, drunk, but sincere. 

            “Turns me on,” he continued with a loud sniff.  I sighed.  And he ruined it.

            “Anything about any girl can turn you on.”

            “Not true,” he sighed.  “Not any girl.”  My heart skipped a beat.  I waited for him to say something about me.  “Hot girls like you.”

            I scoffed.  “Is that why we do what we do?” I asked.

            “Yeah.  I like how you look.”  The corner of his mouth turned up.  “You know you like being with me.”  Well, that was that then, I guess.

            I tried to remember the proverb I’d heard a long time ago from somewhere.  ‘The truth comes out after alcohol goes in.’  I wondered how true that was.

            “Do you ever think of anything other than ?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

            “Hmm…” he sounded.  “Sometimes.  The songs and raps I write aren’t ual.”

            “Your new album says otherwise,” I retorted thinking of the album he’d released with Ji Yong, I mean G Dragon.

            He held out a finger to me, but the weight of his arm proved to be too much and his arm flopped down over my lap.  “Ji Yong wrote Baby Goodnight and most of Don’t Go Home.  I only wrote part of that one,” he explained, his words slurring together.

            “Both pretty ual songs if you really think about it,” I pointed out.

            He smirked.  He did that well even teetering on unconsciousness.  “You’re coming back with me tonight, right?”

            “Don’t I always when you want me to?”  He then murmured something I couldn’t make out.